cam and i got our engagement photos done a little while ago by our photographer James Moes. It was soooo much fun! and I am so thankful for how they turned out, very very pretty!

This is one of my favorites.

So, whats new lately? Cameron is heading out to CBC for school on Sunday. And Im getting really sad :'( this means that the next time we'll really get to see one another on a consistent basis will be when we have our time off for our wedding... wow! thats too far away :'( so if Im a bit cranky these next couple of months, that might be why!

Other than that, invitations are done and will be in the mail very very soon! so Im thrilled about that! it took some very thoughtful and incredible friends of mine to get them done. So THANK YOU to Nantina, Alissa, Kortney, Amy, Holly and Mandy for your help. LOOOOVe you guys! And for Nantinas mom and Heather who kept us company on Tuesday night while we took over the dining room table with our mess. Nan and I had to take two emergency Walmart runs to get enough glue to finish them! Fun times!

So... Im taking some serious steps and making some serious changes to my lifestyle and I am SUPER excited for my opportunity to step into a new kind of life and new kind of health. Please pray for strength for me to have the dedication and self control I need to succeed but I know that God will help me do so.

Well... bed and then up early, and then work!

O, one more Yay for seeing my bridesmaid Julie on Monday night SO EXCITED!!! I LOVE YOU JULIE!!! I am beyond thrilled, I haven't seen her or talked to her since April, its been very difficult. So its going to be such an emotional reunion for us once we finally get to talk. Im going to Cams friend, Mikes wedding reception and then right after we're going to CBC, I get to spend two nights at Julies place on campus and then register for my one class. Child Psychology, which Im doing through correspondence.

You know what is great though? Im graduating!!!! In december I will recieve my two year diploma in psychology (care giving and counseling) from CBC. I will get to walk the stage as Nicole Stehr in April and participate in everything graduation. I am super excited cause I thought I would have to wait a lot longer to have that opportunity. Hopefully I will get to go back and finish my BA later on.

Blessings everyone! :)

I GOT A SURGERY DATE! yay!!

I have to go in for surgery on October 15th, and I am thrilled that I will finally have some answers after this and some relief and treatment!

hurray for this intense blessing!

First off I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to all of you for your prayers and love and support, its been been amazing to be so blessed!

So.... I went into the womens health center yesterday (in the Womens hospital in Vancouver) and after they weighed me and took my height, blood pressure and pulse. I waited in the waiting room.
My mom and I were then called into another room where I told my entire five year story of pain!!!
I was then examined which was NOT comfortable, but Williams and her intern could only find what they called a "trigger spot" when they pushed on a part of my stomach and made me try and sit up, that HURT a lot!

So... whats the verdict??!!

Dr. Williams before she even examined me said that she wanted to do surgery. and then after she examined me she said again that she wants to do surgery to confirm that Endometriosis is what I have. She said that there is a 95% chance that I have it. That after going through my history she feels strongly that its Endo and the every day pain that Im describing is certainly not IBS.
She also said that after surgery, I will be feeling MUCH better! SO EXCITED for that. It will be incredible to wake up on my wedding day, slip into my sexy dress and have fun the whole day without any pain at all! I will be EXTATIC! for that.

So... I have to wait 2-5 months for surgery. She also said that I have to loose weight for the surgery which will be simply diagnostic to confirm if I do in fact have Endometriosis.

I am very nervous to go under but SUPER HAPPY that something is finally being done about it! Please continue to pray for me as this journey is definitely not over, and that I will get a surgery date as soon as possible with a quick recovery. After surgery Dr. Williams will go from there to talk treatment and so then is when the drugs (if any) would start. Right now, I just wait... again. You know, if God wants to teach me patience, he sure has through this entire experience!

Blessings! :)

so its obviously been a while since Ive done some blogging. Honestly I haven't even been online lately, not entirely sure why.
So... what is new!?
Well, on July 27th I went to my friend Lauren's wedding to her man Brenton. It was BEAUTIFUL! and she looked incredible! If you want to read details go to her blog on the right side of your screen down to "new chapters". It was so much fun and I got to talk to some really great people who I met for the first time. I was sad to leave early for Cam to get to Stillwood in time for lights out. Her cousin-in-law Rachel even gave birth to her baby boy the day of her wedding, so it was really exciting to be at the rehearsal and have it announced that it was a boy! so CONGRATS to both Lauren for her big day and Rachel on the birth of her son!

Work has been great! I have exceeded my own expectations with how well I have caught on, I have another 6am shift in the morning to do books, so bed is just a hour away for me! Im starting to feel really distant from people again but only cause Im working what feels like so much and when I get off there is only so much time I get to spend with Cam and my parents in a week. It sometimes doesn't feel fair at all cause Cam gets camp and summer day trips, including fishing and I just have work and home. I feel like I haven't had the luxury of experiencing summer at all. Which makes me sad.

My doctors appointment at Womens hospital is coming up really quickly. This week has been already emotional and nerve racking thinking about it. I know that there is nothing to worry about (Kort keeps reassuring me!, thank you!) but its still something that will make me nervous. I have never experienced anything like this before, I don't even remember ever being in a hospital for ME so its going to be an experience. And my biggest fear is that Im going to be told that nothing at all is wrong and Im perfectly fine. When in fact something HAS to be wrong cause Im convinced that Im not crazy!

well, Im announcing it even though the parents probably don't want me to BUT... WE'RE MOVING! to Langley! seriously, our house is up for sale, do you know anyone looking for a house? send them here!

Im watching John and Kate plus 8 now! I loooove this show!

blessings!

so its been a while... I know... Im sorry, for those of you who read my wonderful array of tales. Its been crazy busy for me, I have switched with Richelle (my wonderful file buddy) from night to super early morning shifts. So in the past I couldn't do anything cause I was working late, now Im exhausted and need to get used to the early shifts (which I LOVE) to be able to have energy to make it through the week. Other than the lack of time and energy (what else is new?) life is going really well... things are good, I really shouldn't be complaining.

however... today when I sat outside wearing my lulu lemon sweater which I love!!!! and reading my bible. 1 John, which is one of my favorite books. Things kinda hit me. So I finally took the envelope out of my basket on the hutch in my parents house (which Ive had for a month and been avoiding), the one that the hospital sent me for my appointment and I opened it up with stomach pain turning in my gut. I read the blue sheet which explains what I need to bring to the appointment, any history of surgeries which is something I expected to read (no surgeries of my past). And then comes the paragraph about how it is highly recommended to bring someone for support, and that the person you bring will be registered along with you at the hospital, to help you in the room for encouragement and to discuss treatment. All the sudden that paragraph made things a little bit more scary for me.

If you read Kortney's blog (falling leaf) on the right hand side of my blog you will come across an entry when she talks about how she prayed and prayed and cried and cried to God to be given the gift of children. Its the worst feeling in the world to know that there is a high statistic against you that children could not happen if Endo in fact is your condition. And if you're like me, or Kort, in desperate want to be a mother. Then you can understand how depressing this disease can be. Thankfully I am convinced that I will have children, but the fear that I have absolutely NO CLUE whats going on in my body is very overwhelming... especially when being asked millions of personal questions on a sheet of paper, the questions you know when being answered in the little examining room could mean the differences of being under a knife and in surgery, or taking birth control pills until menopause creeps up... or worse, ending up at square one again with no clue with the happenings of my body.
Each of these "options" are not exactly what I thought for myself five years ago when this all started to happen.

so I realised today, as I sat outside, as I read 1 John... that the trust I give has to truly fall in the hands of God. Im sure that everyone who reads this does not believe the way I do, and that doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is that I know what I believe and what I stand for, and if believing that health, full health, complete health is in the hands of God and trusting in him through this process brings me greater faith than that is exactly what I will do.

Its not easy to not know what to do... I am exceptionally thankful that I don't have cancer, that I am blessed and priveledged, but disease and disorders, sickness of any kind, especially when you truly have NO IDEA whats going on is exhausting, and emotionally frustrating and depressing.

On another note: PRAISE GOD that I am as blessed as I am to have my family, my job and especially my Cam.

Blessings! :)

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday and it was such a fun day! I woke up, early though... unfortunately a little too early, and had such a fantastic phone call with my grandma who almost made me cry. She was super super sweet, so that was the perfect start! Then my parents, Jay and Brandon surprised me with presents. I got this really cool hair dryer, underwear of course! and lots of gift cards so Cam and I can go out on a really romantic date. Then we went out for brunch at IHop, I had eggs benedict. It was really kinda sad for me because it was the last birthday as Nicole Kroeker, my next one will be as Mrs. Nicole Stehr. What an incredible thing to think about! I really enjoyed my family time, and like always we ordered WAY too much food but had such great and hilarious conversation. Then we went out for a Starbucks treat, and I was dropped off at Cams parents place. (Mom and Dad S!) Cam had my present waiting me, I got SO SPOILED! A elephant webkins stuffed animal, which I will admit I have such a blast playing online and I adore elephants. Then because of an inside joke between Cam and I and David Iwai, I got two big containers of The Body Shop body butter, passionfruit and strawberry, he told me that he smelt all the different ones to pick out his favorite for me! As well, Cam gave me a devotional book which he picked out himself and an adorable and super sweet card which he wrote things that practically brought me to tears! (thanks babe!) He got a juicy kiss and a super hug for the thoughtfulness and perfect gift! Then Mom S comes out with a present and balloon for me, what a sweet heart. I open it up and what do I find? A home-made recipe box!!!!!!! and this isn't just an ordinary recipe box, its a super box, crafted with a bunch of special scraptbook paper with the colors brown and green which are PERFECT for my new kitchen colors! I also got my favorite bubble bath :) Then Cam and I went and WE DID OUR REGISTRY! Well, we did half of it, wow its going to take a while. We got our bed and bath stuff done, and some other little things. We have to go back to put all of our kitchen stuff on. But first off we want to talk about what we really want for our kitchen. Then in November we're going to add a bunch of more "home" stuff to it which will reflect more of where we know we're going to live and what we know we're going to need. So thats good! and it was SO MUCH FUN! I got to let Cam hold the "gun scanner thingy" more than me, he loved it. He then took me out for dinner, which is such a treat because we never have the opportunity to do it. And I got to order a drink, which was a coconut bellini SO GOOD! Cam had his Guinness of course. I ordered a legendary burger with fries cause its such a rare thing for me to eat that kind of food, Cam had fish and chips. We then went out and grabbed a Starbucks! Yummies two for me! And we went to see Wall*E which was fantastic! I loved it, it was really cute. A love story between two robots! Cam and I then went back to my parents place and said "hi" we were both really exhausted and he went home. I stayed up for a bit with my parents and then went to bed! Such a GREAT day! I loved it, and I wanted to say thanks to everyone who emailed me and called me. THANKS HOLLY! THANK YOU Nantina and Alissa for your text messages! LOVED them. And Julie for your card. I just feel overwhelmed with all the love coming my way. Even today was great! I woke up at 5:30am I guess with habit from all the other Sundays up that early, and after forcing myself back to sleep I was up again and ready in time for church. I went with my parents, after we took a look around at some properties that they wanted to check out and then I was back at Cams parents place. We went strawberry picking which was a hoot! We're going to make it an annual thing! We're freezing all of our strawberries for later on in the year. Then I had a great Mexican dinner there and after a very full weekend I came home exhausted and ready for some pj's and now its time to go to bed. Im really excited for bed! I get to see Cam again on Tuesday which Im thrilled for and although this week at work will be exhausting most likely, it'll be fine.
My headaches are coming back and being very consistent, my stomach pain/cramps are still here and more intense in the mornings and Im not sure sometimes whats going on, its so weird to feel so disconnected with your body and to just have no idea what to think about it. But its just five or so weeks until the specialist. YES! seriously, SO HAPPY!
My invitation paper is being ordered on Monday and then once I get my hands on it, the invites will begin to get made. I had to modify my prototype a bit, but I am still very very pleased with how they are going to look, exactly what I had envisioned.
The next thing I guess is just to meet with Tracey for finalising the decor of the reception and then I will be officially waaaay ahead of the game. Actually it was kinda funny how most of the Bridal Gallery girls were so impressed with how far in advance I have everything done. They kept saying that most girls who are getting married in August have less done than me and my date is in December! I can't imagine.

Well... This post is so long that I assume most of you aren't going to read all of it and thats perfectly fine and definitely not expected.

Actually a really exciting thing for me lately is that I pulled out some of my old journals, I journal like a scribe and while I read most of my old entries I really began to grab a hold of who I was and I reflected on who I am today and noticed that my spiritual life was lacking significantly. I started to realise that I really am allowing other things in my life to overtake my identity and I was really saddened. Its like I lost myself in the messes of situations. So, I feel as though Ive found my "spunk" and myself again. Its as though I was putting God on the back burner and as soon as I realised how much of myself is found in being a child of God I lost those parts of me. So now, Im working really hard to bring them back. I have found my passions again and my desires, the reasons why I love the things I do, and the reasons why I stand up for what I do. The reasons why I so desperately love school, health, Cam, psychology, creativity, nature.. etc..

well, I better sign off before I end up writing a novel.

Blessings!

This is my friend Kortney Story with her husband Jordon. I actually stole this photo from her facebook photo album, but I wanted to share some exciting news with you guys because I am SUPER excited and happy for her and well, right now it feels like this is happening to so many of my friends.

KORTNEY IS FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT!

She just found out last Tuesday because well, like me (well still "maybe" for me), but she has Endometriosis and has been on hormone treatment for the past two years. Which means she had no idea this was happening even though she was super sick all the time. She figured it was morning sickness. SO... Both Becky and Kortney are pregnant, which means two brand-new babies at my wedding (hopefully!) WOW! a whole new kind of role now, a new kind of "time" of life now that its happening where married friends start having babies.
I told Kort on the phone today "I want a baby!" and its true, I do... but most definitely not right away, although if it was to happen right away I would still be thrilled!

What makes me really hopeful knowing that Kort got pregnant? That it can happen for me too... you see with Endo, you read stats that say that 40% of those with Endo are infertile. And although I refuse to believe that for myself, there is that high possibility of it happening. Even the thought of your chances rising that high that you may not be able to carry children... it makes one who has a great hope to be a mother, feel desperately saddened. I mourned that statistic until I got up one day and talked to Cam and decided that wasn't going to be me. But still... I am hopeful that a fellow Endo patient got to conceive because I have read of many who haven't.
and even if Endo isn't my problem, I still feel exactly the same way!

so... CONGRATS KORTNEY AND JORDON, you are both going to make excellent parents! :)

Blessings everyone!

Although I have a crazy sinus headache that kills!... Life is FANTASTIC! Just thought I'd share, I have some good time off next week which I plan to use to see my Cameron and spend some quality time with mom, and hopefully some other wonderful people, get my room packed up and move upstairs (switching with Brandon) and hopefully get some color and a good tan started for the honeymoon! (yah right!)

Love you all... THANKS FOR MY BIRTHDAY CARD JULIE! I LOVE YOU FRIEND.

Blessings! and a happy hot weekend to all, I will be enjoying most of mine in IGA but Im more than okay with it.

I feel like I have some crazy news to share with you... but then when I think about what it was I wanted to share, for the life of me I can't think of it. Hmmm... strange isn't it?! I get to see Cam tomorrow so I am thrilled, its been a week and a half that he has been at camp doing his staff training and I kinda feel bad for the guy because it is his last staff training, he isn't going to be doing full summers at Stillwood from now on. We just won't be able to swing it for him to be at camp for 10 weeks out of the summer and well, when it comes to marriage, I don't want to be apart for 10 full weeks. Nor could I stay at Stillwood for 10 weeks with him while he does it. So... he is saying so long to Stillwood and I can only imagine how hard that will be for him. This is his 7th summer doing the job.

I have started to research more about Endometriosis in my spare time. I want to get more of a grasp as to how the disease works and what I could do now that I am waiting for my doctors appointment. Once again I stumbled across a web site that seems to be very informative and helpful. Its not my goal to scare myself, but it is more my goal to give myself a basic understanding of what I may be up against. I don't want to see Doctor Williams in August and have no clue as to what she is saying to me or have no clue what kinds questions she would be asking me.
I have found though that a seriously restricted diet is basically the best thing for me. Its very very hard, but with basic experience I have found that it works, especially in these past couple of weeks I ate really well one week and the second not so well. In the second week I was sick literally every day with cramping and other pain. It was horrible. Now in my third week I am back on the eating plan and already feeling much better.
There is something wrong, bodies don't just hurt for no reason.

More wedding things are getting accomplished! The dresses are ordered HORRAY! and the mens tuxes are ordered as well DOUBLE HORRAY! such a stress relief for me.. the dresses will most likely be in for September which gives so much time before the wedding to get them altered and the tuxes will be ready for pick up the day before the wedding. woot woot! Even my dress should be in by September! SO excited to put my dress on and cry.

Nothing really new otherwise, just the same old. I have the next two days off work, which will be nice. And then back to work! Im really loving the file...

Blessings, Im getting my hair cut in the morning and so Im excited for the new change.

there are SO many people that I miss right now in life. like seriously miss, like aching in my gut miss. i miss Cam mostly at this moment its just too hard to be away from someone you love, and i know im being over dramatic and pathetic, especially since i know someone who is thousands of miles away from her fiance. but distance is still distance and being away from the one you love and not being able to be with them the way you want, in waiting for marriage, hanging out with them all the time and just having that closeness in relationship that you're just months, weeks, days away from is daunting, frustrating and exhausting at times. **sigh**

but not just that, i miss hanging out at school with my most dearest friends, i miss julie, i miss amber & traci, i miss dave (believe it or not!) i miss maren, carlene, heidi, tanya, holly, kendra. i miss walking into the guys place next door and awkwardly opening up the door without knocking to find one of them either in a towel or many of them walking around in boxers or no shirt! these wonderful friends made life super interesting and always fun!
i miss my sisters in law (to be) jen and michele, and the incredible relationship i already have with them... i miss my nieces (their daughters) i want to play with them and hug them and be the super cool aunt who plays barbies and sneaks them treats!

i miss my old gracepoint days when i would see nantina, alissa & amy all the time! that was so much fun... now i hardly get to see them.

why all the sudden the missing of close individuals? because i spent my day with Becky today, and it was SO MUCH FUN! but having that day with her today made me realise how much i miss my days with all of my other super close friends and how much i miss my coffee dates, curb side guy chats (julie!) and park walks. how i miss staying up until 2am studying for a final the next morning and how much i hate that life moves on in small ways making it impossible to see everyone all the time.
i miss seeing Kortney for neighborhood walks, and bugging my guy friends mat & kevin. or living beside kailee.

but seeing becky today, my amazing, pregnant, halariously encouraging friend... made me realise again all the wonderful things that i get to look forward to in regards to getting married, eventually starting a family and taking new steps in my life in different directions than some of these friends and that its okay.
Some of these friends are at the same place as me, some just got married, others been married for a while and one (becky) is having her first child. So i have so many more great adventures and talks with them... so many more coffee dates, child play dates, wedding parties and just plain curb side conversations to have. and I am THRILLED that each and every one of these people understand that life moves on and relationships can continue to flourish and grow in situations which change all the time.

THANK YOU MY FRIENDS, for being such extrodinary people!
I LOVE YOU! **Hugz**

blessings to all.

hello all! I found a new really neat wedding website page... I absolutely LOVE it and have fiddled aroud with it tonight to put if up and have it running. Its so much fun this kinda stuff... anyways, its on the right hand side, the wedding website link.

Camy loves Colie

and then I added my blog that is attached to this site in my "blogs to read" section

When a Frog and a Stare collide

I hope you all enjoy!

Cam is gone this week for camp, which means no communication of any kind until he is back. I HATE this, I need him really bad this week, Im having such a hard time without him. And I miss him super much :'( I might be a bit of a baby this time, but seriously you guys, I have my reasons.

Blessings!

this picture i found on my parents camera which was lost for several months, its another one of our pictures that was taken on the day we got engaged back on Feb 16th. its overwhelming to me how much love there is between Cam and i, we have grown together extraordinarily. and are blessed beyond what i think we both thought possible. things are just falling into place so perfectly that i don't believe anything else but the divine had His hand upon us. the difference though between Cam and me?! he is SUPER patient, like if he had a super power it would be his capacity to be crazy patient. thats just who he is, and i admire it because i am NOT in the least bit patient at all. and since falling in love with Cam i have noticed that more about myself. so now...as you can see from my count down, there is just a tiny bit more than 6 months until our wedding and im going NUTS! i want to get married, live with him, cook for him, have my own home, be with my husband. thats just the life i truly want to live and i want to live it yesterday! BAAAAA!!!!! grrrrrrr.... at least Cam knows my unpaitent self and keeps me calmed down.

on another note... I GOT MY SPECIALIST APPOINTMENT FINALLY BOOKED TODAY! The anticipated date is August 15th! and its about the same level of importance to me to count down as my wedding day. No joke! On my break today at work I practically broke down and cried in the staff room because I read a text message from my mom that I got an appointment booked and that there was a mix up with our mailing address that caused them to think I chose not to take their help when in reality I was all upset that they weren't calling me. They were anticipating me to call them since MARCH! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! MARCH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! BAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! I could seriously kick my doctors office in the butt! or rip out my hair!
But Im just thankful that things are finally and I mean FINALLY getting sorted out, its been 5 years, I deserve some answers. Im nervous cause its still cutting it kinda close to the wedding date, but Im sure things are going to work out just fine. Im confident that God has His divine hand in the midst of it all. I just don't want to be a grumpy/hormonal/piece of work on my wedding day or honeymoon due to hormone treatment... **fingers crossed** for Cam in particular! :)

But seriously... PRAISE GOD!
Blessings to all!

ps. work is FANTASTIC! and Richelle the girl Im working file with is wonderful, I really appreciate her. I can only anticipate a truly fun filled and exciting work career ahead of me at Robs IGA for the next two years! :) (at least!)

hello to all once again! this week has be wonderful so far, snd its only the middle tomorrow. im really looking forward to tomorrow... i will be hanging with my mother and then i will get to see my fantastic and sexy fiance! :)
heehee... more wedding things have slowly been getting done. Another milestone of wedding fun!? BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES! got done on Saturday I am THRILLED with what we chose, the dresses are very elegant, very pretty and are going to make my maids look super beautiful!
Next? get the guys all suited up on the 21st! Yay! very excited for that.

work is great, I really do love my job and the store I work in. its fun to be there and the time just flies by for me. Im learning so much of the file and I really do enjoy it so much!

so Cam and I are going to go and book our honeymoon on Saturday! Our destination???
The Dominican Republic!
I am super excited, he found an all inclusive resort which is apparently fanastic and greatly recommended by his parents travel agency. So... thats our honeymoon spot and I am EXTATIC! Because I never thought I would get to go there.

I just want to be married already... this waiting thing sucks :'(

Be BLESSED! :D

i just can't even begin to describe to you how amazing life is these days... God has blessed us ENORMOUSLY! with all that has been going on. i can't even fathom what other good stuff He has in store. my job is going wonderfully, i absolutely LOVE it, although im still a little nervous to go all on my own, im thankful that Cindy will be around till October to fix my wrongs, but im really confident with so much, doing a lot without help and taking the initiative. its great! :)

so... new news! a great friend of mine, kailee rathburn is looking into a friends condo to see if we can rent it out when the knot is finally tied! the condo is in Langley, we are just talking back and forth and we have no idea if there is a chance, but the opportunity is there and im thrilled! this would mean that we won't move into Abby but would then stay in Langley where we want to be anyways! from what we hear, the place is beautiful and only a year old!!!! so many prayers that if thats the place for us, that everything comes together.

so im sick :'(
and today Cam and I had a date planned after work, but i was just too sick to be able to go out and be much fun. SO... instead we stayed inside at my place and just relaxed, which was perfect for me. but you know what my amazing fiance did?! he surprised me with FLOWERS! and a really sweet card. just cause he loves me and wanted to spoil me. O that wonderful, amazing boy. i am so blessed! the being apart and not living two seconds from one another thing is REALLY REALLY HARD :'( we hardly see each other but only 6 and a half more months to go and we won't have to deal with it anymore! yay!

well... better go to bed and get some sleep, we have some bridesmaid dress shopping to do tomorrow, and im back to work bright and early on Sunday!

BLESSINGS! :)

so... many of you know that I work at IGA Marketplace in Cloverdale, well... today I started my training for FILE!!!! Im super super excited to be given this wonderful opportunity to further my "education" of the store. I really loved the training, I learn quickly so it was great to be shown what needs to get done on Sunday mornings, something I will be doing myself probably next month. But the job itself? LOVE IT! Seriously, I really like it, there is a lot of repetition and all, but its great, its something I see myself doing for a while. And I really love the store, I appreciate the managers and some workers. So.. PRAISE GOD! For this blessing and "promotion" because I feel like its exactly where Im supposed to be :)

YAY! FOR ME!
**big smile**

HUGE thanks to everyone who posted on my last post and gave me a great big hug and "its okay to stress about the stressful guest list" speech. I appreciate and LOVE you all so very much in your quest to love and encourage me. Its SO appreciated! This weekend was a really productive wedding weekend, which is just more and more exciting. Saturday I worked until 6pm and then Cam came over and hung out with little wedding discussion (mostly just nice and relaxed time). Then today Cam came over to work in our garden with the guys, pulling out weeds and putting in fresh dirt! The garden looks GREAT and Cam did an amazing job. I am so proud of my fiance, working hard and doing is very best and taking pride in his work. It makes me thrilled that he does so well in all of his accomplishments, along with youth work and landscaping. I love to see his finished work and I just can't wait to hear about his youth nights when he gets home on Thursday nights and calls me up to fill me in! But anyways, thats enough bragging. Bakerview church, the one that Cam interns at emailed me about a month ago asking if today would be a good day for me to attend a bridal/baby shower in honor of all the new brides and babies of Bakerview, not knowing anyone at all I said "sure! I would LOVE to come" and so mom and I went today and had such a great time! I am soooo happy that they had invited me, I was even honored in a slide show, had to stand up with lots of lovely ladies going "awwwww... " when introduced as Cam's fiance, and even got a card and a gift which I never expected. I was floored as to the hospitality and gentle loving kindness they all showed. THANK YOU SO MUCH! My first "shower" and I loved every moment of it. I even sat next to one of those honored babies who was ADORABLE! makes me want babies (umm... Cam... nudge nudge).
My card was even wrapped with beautiful ribbon that I took home, showed Cam and later attached to our prototype invitation and both of us were like "THATS THE RIBBON!" hahahaha.... so ummm... where did you find it!?
Eric Ens (who is marrying us) and Karen Roeck (his daughter and long time friend) came over tonight as well to discuss ceremony. We pretty much got it all planned out (except fine details, like word for word what we're saying) and Im STOKED! to have that in the works already... its all coming together nicely! They stayed for a bit to chow down on some yummy salmon and that brings me to this moment sitting on the couch sweating and having stomach pain which is keeping me up, but not grumpy!

all in all... good, great weekend. Tomorrow Im off to see Kortney, very excited to have coffee with her after work. Then Wednesday I have off and will be seeing Nantina. Saturday is then Jason and Brandon's birthday paintball extravaganza where I am hoping to coax Cam into a romantic evening... we'll see if its a success!

Loves and hugz... and of course, blessings to all

O yah... God is doing some remarkable things to my mind and heart in regards to health and wellness, there are still some habiats that I obviously need to break free from but overall, my goodness my mind is opening up and my passions are openly changing. its remarkable what God can do! and what he can reveal. Im PSYCHED!

I almost forgot... my part of the guest list is complete and Im SO HAPPY that its done. Im not sure if changes will take place, but I am confident with the end result and very happy with the number. There is still Cams list, Karen/Kelvins and my parents list to add to create the master one. But mine is done, and thats all that matters at this exact moment... so **breathing sigh of relief** stress eliminated and sleeping bliss will commence :)

THE GUEST LIST IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! just thought I would scream my frustrations out on here, okay. Im done, well not really, I haven't even started the guest list and I am planning to order paper from Traci really soon here. BA! So seriously people, if I offend you by not giving you an invite, Im seriously just not going to care so much because this is one of the, no! this IS the most stressful part of the whole experience and I will not deal with it any longer! :P

**deep breath**

I feel MUCH better now!

seven months today and i am going to marry this magnificent man! i am super, crazy emotionally excited! im sure you have no idea unless you talked to me about it... i cant believe how fast the time is flying away. it feels like just yesterday cam and i were discussing marriage and then just days after that where we came up with a date, all the sudden we're engaged (best day ever!) and now ive been wearing my ring for over three months and the date is just 7 months away!
cam and i just visited a friend of karen (cams mom) who happens to be a florist! (SCORE!) so... we met with her on sunday, she is a sweetheart and im thrilled to be working with her on my flowers, just a little wait to see how the prices will pan out and then a deposit and the deal is done! SUPER thrilled that she is going to try and make my wedding bouquet come true! my dream one that is. im thrilled that this is one more wedding essential being taken care of.

this week im working hard, once again. i am seeing Becky tomorrow, my super pregnant friend, along with two other friends to attend the show of the new Hillsong United movie at Metrotown. it shall be grand!
then its work and relaxing until Saturday when i get to see Cam again! (im a dork, its torture to not see him everyday like we are used to, the wedding can't come soon enough!) then Sunday for more wedding planning!!!!!
O, i get to go to the Bakerview bridal shower, where they have invited me to attend so that they can celebrate with me and Cams engagement! I was super surprised and honored to be asked to come and be celebrated! wow! very excited for that :)

so... thats my week! its going to be good.
Blessings.

motivation is a word with lots of well... availability for lacking. thats me at this moment, with no "lets do it!" enthusiasm anymore. i mean i feel poor, and i see the sickness bloat me every time food enters my stomach, but the motivation to stick to a diet that only the most determined person on earth can succeed at is seeming to be impossible. what do i do? i have no clue at the moment!

food journal, exercise program, weekly planning, that makes more sense to me. ba! just me here complaining once again.

my weekend, looks good!
seeing Narnia with my brothers, Cam and Brandon's girlfriend tonight... late. Then its a nice, wonderful day of relaxing on Monday! yippppeeee for relaxing!

and all you who got to enjoy the sun these past couple of days, I envy you :P
I enjoyed from my till at IGA, it was a marvelous sight.

Blessings!

its official... the bridal party has changed!!! and I am really happy with adding two wonderful friends of mine to the mix of peeps who will stand next to me and support me on my big, wonderful day! :)

Julie Ratcliff and Alissa Dueck, are going to be among my supporters! :)

If you have kept up with my blog you will know that my precious friend Becky Davidson is expecting her first bundle of joy and therefore, is due about a month before the wedding and with no concrete indication if she will be in Canada for the date. Therefore, with much sadness on both parts she has stepped down of bridesmaid duties and I have had the luxury of praying, contemplating and debating what to do. I have always considered these two to be in the party since the start. They are supported me, stood by me, they are incredible and amazing women of God and just friends all together. They always lend their ears, give advice, hug! Love, and give of themselves with all of them selves. I love them both to pieces, I respect them, adore them and am thrilled to have them be there for me.

So the party:
Nantina Tyerman, maid of Honor
Julie Ratcliff, bridesmaid
Alissa Dueck, bridesmaid
Jennifer Wohlgemut, bridesmaid
Michele Walker, bridesmaid
(and not in this order, I have no clue!)
and the official, unofficial: Becky Davidson, supporter extraordinaire!

The wedding planning is coming along, next on the list, florist who we are seeing Sunday, then meeting with our "officiant" who happens to be a close family friend, Eric Ens! along with meeting his daughter Karen Roeck who is doing piano (shes amazing!) then its dress/tux shopping, invitation paper ordering, and a meeting with Tracey for decor change.
WOW!!!!!

Okay, bed for me so that I can sleep and be prepared for work tomorrow morning, start at 9am. (yipppeeeeee!!!!!) honestly, I LOVE my job and the people I work with. I mean I miss CBC and the lunch ladies, but this is good too! :)

Blessings on you!