many of you who know me well, have been walking with me through this "healing journey" of mine for the past three and a half years. You have seen me cry... you have heard me wail, you have witnessed my ups and downs of life living with IBS. The drama, pain and complete helplessness. I have prayed since the day I started to feel unhealthy for healing... for a way to deal with this disorder/disfunction, a way to just make it so that I can be "normal" once again. And I have tried, through several ways... denying, ignorning, anger and frustrations to find "normal" within myself again, since I have honestly forgotten what life was like before IBS.

Yet... through my prayers.... through my desperate account of feeling hopeless, unnormal and without cause or puropse, God has clearly spoken his words, and Im finally mature enough and open enough to listen. I have finally set aside my anger at him, at life, at others and at myself to hear what he has had to say for some time.

I WILL BE YOUR STRENGTH IN YOUR WEAKNESS.

I love this! He will be my strength through my digestive problems. He will be my strength when I have nothing to eat, when I am sick, when I am hurting, when I am down to the lowest I possibly can get. HE will be MY strength. I believe now more then ever that God is using this problem of mine for his purposes, that he is transforming my life into his great will. I do not believe that he gave me this disorder, but I do believe that he can use it for his amazing purpose for his kingdom!! I do beleive that and now can understand that I do have a purpose, my IBS has a purpose and can be used has a means for compassion to the sick of the world. To those that are sick and have no hope, to bring them the understanding that there is always hope through sickness, there is always hope in Christ. :)

so... those that are praying for my healing. you can stop! You can pray instead that his amazing purpose is done through this struggle of mine. I no longer view my IBS as a means of a negative burden in my life, God believes that I can handle it... God has given me all his resources to handle it! so here I go... taking the step to believe that this can be the biggest gift and most positive event in my life!

PRAISE GOD! i say it again! PRAISE GOD! Amen! :)