lately ive been thinking a lot about my future. i guess one of my faults is that i always want to know whats coming around the corner, i always want to know what to expect. i LOVE surprises, but when it comes to my life and my future i want to be "in the know". which in most cases is absolutely ridiculous and completely impossible. this is why im convinced that God is going to throw a baby into the mix when i least expect it, (no! im not pregnant).

why have i been thinking about tomorrow? about two months, six months, a year from now? i guess cause im bored?! (i get bored very easily), or maybe because i know that what i wake up to do today isn't what im supposed to do tomorrow, or a year from now, or even eight months from now. i know that there is this incredible plan that i can see but just can't hold yet and thats whats so crazy exciting to me.

school... i ADORE school. i never, ever! thought that'd be me. i never thought that i would be the book worm, the psychology major, i never pictured myself trying to stay in school for the longest time possible, but i want to. and well... i will.
my dream goal? a PhD in psychology. and i seriously don't care if i reach that at 60 years old. i don't care that i may have to put school off when that pregancy comes completely out of the blue (im telling you its going to be the biggest surprise at the most unreal time!) at the very least I'll put my Masters Degree off. i KNOW that counselling, or what my friend said... social work is my future. and although i have the "plan" on the horizons, i still don't know what is around the corner and in a lot of ways that scares the crap out of me. but at least i know that once i turn the corner i have a strong sense of where i want to be and who i will be. and at least i know that by the time im in my thirties and finished my masters degree and talking in highschools, youth groups, community centres to girls about pre-marital sex, eating disorders, drug abuse, body abuse and more... i'll have seen more, know more, be more mature to deal with what will come my way. did i mention im excited and eager to get started?

i guess i just realised the other day while driving to work... that i know exactly who i am. i know exactly who i live for and know exactly where i am going in life. i know exactly what i want, and why i wake up everyday... and no one, not even the circumstances in my life and the people in my life that have tossed me around can take that away. this realization is incredibly empowering, and such a huge blessing!

im ranting, and my steak is waiting... so....

love and hugs!

ps. please pray for Cam and I, that we find a place around Langley, a cute, affordable home with laundry!!!! if you know anyone at all... give them our name!