this past couple of months have been really stressful again, ive been going through the process with my doctor of trying to figure out why it has been so painful to breathe deeply, and why after certain meals, my chest would just HURT! so... sitting in the doctors office last week, my test results from the ultra sound came in. And?! well, no results that day! GAH! seriously!? i was lectured again in regards to my eating habiats, and was sent home without any real answers. its just been SO confusing these past couple weeks, trying to research and understand whats going on in my body without knowing for sure. And since ive gone through IBS (still am) and the Endometriosis, all effecting what im supposed to eat and not eat, this has begun the all confusing game again of "what to eat and not eat" its just the MOST confusing thing in the whole world to be staring in the fridge and not understanding what to do.... it makes me cry most days! i even told the doc how helpless i feel in this department. he said to eat salads without dressing and no fast food.... FUN! hahhaha... what help! :)

this Friday is when i get to go back, sit down and hear for sure whether or not my test results reveal anything worth discussing.... but last week the doc said that if its gallstones then they won't go away with just diet... but that I HAVE to go on a specific diet regardless to control my symptoms, he said we will address stones when we get the results back but i know what that means... surgery!!!! im not even sure how i feel yet about it.... right now, just confused and helpless and since thats the case, im not doing very well in eating what im being told to eat. im not sure what my problem is... but i did tell cam that this is number three! im just twenty four years old and ive already been through three seperate health issues. this being the third, whatever it is. GAH! it makes me really sad.. yet it makes me really mad at myself too, since gall bladder disease is something that you could theoretically stop yourself. it develops from eating too fatty, not taking care of yourself and if family members have it, you're likly to develop it too.

the doctor once again made it clear that i have to loose weight and finally keep it off. im not sure how to do it this time though... i need to loose quickly again, like i did when i had endo, but im not convinced that SureSlim is the answer this time since i have to stay away from animal fats, cheese and full fat dairy, oils and consume a LOT more veggies and fruit.

im honestly just venting, this blog is more like journal entries... thanks for listening! ill let cha all know whats going on, once im done at the doctors office friday. im nervous.

cheers!