I came home from work today and realized "holy crap, kids are hard work!" and I don't mean just to teach. I had this moment of clarity where I looked at my life and understood that if I have a kid then this peace and quiet I come home to will never be again. My life would forever change and I would have a soul to take care of all the time. I would be the one at home saying "walking feet" and other type of ECE positive terms/language constantly.

Yah, um.... That freaks me out!

I said to cam, "I dunno if I want kids now." he was stunned. I don't blame him, I've been pestering him for years to get me pregnant. Yikes!

In other news: I'm getting so damn frustrated, depressed and hopeless in the health department of my life. I feel like there will never be a day when I will over come this.

What a hard day it's been today

N.