I can do it!

Tonight I'm seeing my dula and I'm very excited about it! I'm really fortunate to have a dula who is also my friend. She's been a friend since early high school, I never thought (back then) that she'd be present with me at the birth of my first child. But I am incredibly thankful that she will be. I feel very strongly that I'll need the extra support and just knowing that I'll have a team helps my anxieties.

Now that I'm at 32 weeks pregnant the reality that labor is on its way has really started to sink in. I'm beginning to understand that it has a lot to do with ones mentality. That if I believe I can do it and make it through then I will. If I believe that my body has been created to do this, then I can put my trust in my natural abilities. I haven't done Lamaze or yoga, I didn't want to (in all honesty). Prayer has always been my source of strength, no matter my circumstance I have prayed through everything. I know I can search within and pray through this experience as well. And with the guidance of my dula I can figure out what will work for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that prayer won't make my pain magically go away. I also don't believe that God will suddenly make things easier, even if I beg. But I believe that it'll be what helps me focus and for me that's what matters.

At this time however, I feel very unprepared for labor and I'm not sure why. If it started today I may start freaking out!! Maybe it's because I keep coming across in my researching/reading how women should be going to Lamaze, yoga and practice breathing techniques but I haven't done any of that. Maybe it's because I'm nervous, I know it's going to hurt and I want to do it all without drugs but I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I remember my menstrual cramps before my surgery, they HURT! BAD! And I'm expecting labor to basically be like that, but with the end result of pushing out a baby. I know I'll need lots of encouragement and positive feedback to succeed and not crumble under the pain.

So maybe I should just start saying "I can do it!" "I can deliver Bubba!" "I have the ability to birth my baby" "I believe that I have the strength" "I'm capable!"

Because I am!

N.