This is it... well, not technically RIGHT at this moment, but any second now my body can begin labor. My due date is tomorrow, April 30th (changed from April 24th when I was in my 27th week). So every moment now has the potential to bring on what will begin the most incredible journey of my life, labor and motherhood. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit freaked!
Not scared for the labor process, I have faith in myself and I believe that my body can accomplish what it was designed to do. Plus I have an amazing doula that will help and an incredibly supportive husband. I also believe that my track record and having had suffered from insanely painful menstural cramps since I was eleven and undiagnosed endometriosis pain for five years gives me an advantage. So when it comes to that "type" of pain, I'm a pro! Obviously it's not the same but I'm sure it's darn close.
So what freaks me out? I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY! How in the world will I know what to do and when to do it? Yes, I've read books, articles, blogs. I've taken child psychology classes and I've worked in child care for a year and a half before this pregnancy. But I still can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed with the notion/idea of what's to come. I keep asking myself, "will I love it?", "will we bond?", "will this ruin my life?". I know! HORRIBLE things to consider but I'm just being honest here. And I'm sure after my labor I'll come back to this post and wonder how I ever let myself think those things. But the thing is, this is such unknown territory for me and I accept that these crazy thoughts are valid. As long as I don't allow them to take over.
I AM excited!
I AM eager!
I WANT this child!
and having a little bit of apprehension about the whole thing is perfectly normal. Right?!
Well... I'll keep you updated :)
So far I have symptoms that labor is impending, just no contractions yet and I'm thinking that those are the key to getting things started!
Maybe this red leaf tea will help?!
N.
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