Does Edison sleep?!

One of the questions I get asked all the time is "how does Edison sleep" or "how was your night last night?" It's such a hot topic, everyone seems to be interested in knowing if my baby sleeps "through the night". So I've decided to answer that question here for all those interested.

No! My baby boy absolutely does not even closely resemble an infant who "sleeps through the night." I'm lucky to get three straight hours of sleep and sometimes it's a miracle if I get four. I frequently stumble around my home like a sleep deprived zombie and I drink at least two cups of coffee (yes, even while exclusively breast feeding) a day. I also hold my baby while he takes his naps and frequently bed share with him throughout the days when I need a nap too.

So you may say, "wow! Nicole how do you cope? Just let him cry." And to that comment I respond with "thanks, that might work for you and that's ok but I refuse to implement the cry it out method and that's ok too." And you know what? It is!

It's ok for me to wake up several times during the night because I've come to understand that my parenting doesn't stop when it gets dark outside. I'm still Edison's mommy at night, in bed and asleep just as much as I am his mommy during the day and awake. So if my baby needs me, he gets me. This too will not last, this too is just a season in my boys life and one day far in the future I'll miss my nights of nursing him back to sleep for the third time by 4am.

I'm taking my time transferring him to his room in his crib. I'm allowing my bed be a haven for him if he needs to nurse back to sleep at 6am. I used to be worried. I was nervous, stressed and terrified thinking that I was doing it wrong. Believing the lies that he'll never learn to sleep on his own or trying out any method possible to get him to sleep longer. And then I decided to say NO! I'm following my gut, I'm trusting my child. I'm parenting my baby my way and I'm not going to worry about this anymore. I'm going to wait out what my son needs, I'm going to wait for when HE is ready to sleep through the night in his crib. But until then what I'm doing is just fine, in fact it's perfect! And if that's a little "crunchy momma attachment style" for you then I'm sorry (not really)!

So no, there's no sleeping through the night here. Instead there's a lot of night nursing, walking, cuddling and gliding with some dreaming mix in. And I'm okay with that.
So now, Where's my coffee??
N.

Today was hard.

Today was hard. So. Damn. Hard. From the moment I woke up with Edi to the second I stepped into my in laws place and all the moments from then to now, was full of a screaming, crying, kicking, spit upping, mess of a baby boy. Cue exhausted mommy.

Yet, in the midst of the screams my baby boy still existed in the chaos and I kissed many kisses, hugged many hugs, held him tight and did everything I could to try and help him while keeping some of me for myself. I put him down in the midst of the screams just to pee and put on some clothing to feel normal and breathe a few deep breaths of calm.

Thank-you to all my friends who wrote a comment on FB, sent up a prayer and a virtual hug and offered to come over. One thing I know for sure is that becoming a mommy has opened up a world of support and love from friends that I had not realized before. The friendships that have strengthened and others that have rekindled and more that have resurfaced are full of encouragement, love and a commonality that transcends all else. So THANK-YOU! Thank-you, thank-you! So much!

Here's to hoping and praying that the night is good tonight still and tomorrow is great and my strength increases. I'm learning so much from my Edison about myself and who I wish to be for my little guy while learning about who he is too.

This mommy job is the hardest thing I've ever gotten myself into, but I couldn't imagine my life without the boy behind today's crazy. He's too cute and too special and has such a grip on my heart. I love you Edison Lyle.

N.

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I made a real blog post about something. I had so many things to say before and now I feel like the things I could talk about aren't making their way out as easily as before.

Edison is doing great! I went to the doc again recently to check in and inquire again about his reflux. He's been MUCH better! The spit up he does do isn't as thick or gross as before so I'm glad. I've been struggling so much with keeping dairy free but it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference with him. Although, the past couple of weeks he's had the nastiest smelling farts. He could clear rooms! I'm not exaggerating, just ask Cam.

It's as though four has been Edison's lucky number, as soon as he turned four months things changed for the positive! And this momma is so very happy for that. He did so many different things so quickly (like over night) such as grabbing toys, observing everything so much more intently, giggling, grabbing faces, only wanting mommy to hold him, etc. I feel like my newborn baby is long gone and my baby boy who will crawl & explore is fast approaching. This boy of mine is definitely showing his personality and I'm loving it! I see so much of both Cam and I in him which is so fun.

We are working on a few things right now that at times seem overwhelming but having Cams strong support has been great. Edison finally has a good bedtime routine! We get him ready between 8-8:30pm depending on when he starts to get fussy. Cam changes his diaper and puts him in a sleeper and then his Ergococoon (best swaddler we've used so far) and then hands him over to me on the glider for boob. Edi and I glide until he's asleep and then he goes straight into his playpen (between 8:30-9pm). It's been working beautifully and I'm thrilled to finally have some time with Cam alone at night before we go to bed. After about a month of this I'm going to start to change the routine slightly each night with the goal that by the time he's a year old he'll be sleeping in his crib in his room alone. I'm in NO rush however (that's obvious) and I've accepted that this routine is perfect for us and I'm thrilled with it.

Cam and I are also keeping on with our gluten free journey. I'm thinking about blogging more often about my struggles concerning going gluten free and document how its going, what I'm doing and how I'm feeling. I've been struggling so much emotionally with it. I'm sure I'm close to being full blown celiac and I'm certain that gluten free will save my health but I've been so addicted to wheat that it's been so hard to commit to a lifestyle that's harder when it's so much easier to fall back into old habits that have been keeping me sick (and fat). Thank goodness my husband is doing this with me. I need his support cause I've already wanted to give up so many times. I'm re-reading the book wheat belly over and over to remind me why I'm doing this. I think my biggest motivation now is my son and my strong desire to give him a sibling and have a really great second pregnancy.

Ok, this is long enough! Until next time, N.
once again, more Edison pics

Happy 4 month Edison!! (On Sept. 11)

Age: My baby is four months old! He's starting to look less & less like a baby & more like a little man.

Weight & height: we are going to the doc tomorrow but my guess for weight is around 15lbs.

Clothing: I've been taking some of his 3-6 month onesies out of his drawer now & placing them into his storage bucket. He's still fitting 6 month stuff really well & his 9 month stash looks good. I'm probably going to add some 9 month items to his drawer by the end of September. I'm currently working on accumulating his 12 month wardrobe. I LOVE his overalls, they're the most adorable thing on him.

Newest Likes:
• rolling over
* his ergo cocoon
* "talking"
* laughing
* grabbing faces
* eating noses
* sticking his tongue out
* blowing bubbles
* grabbing everything to put in his mouth (still mastering the stretch to reach for things)
* laying down to play
* being walked around & shown new "scenery"

Dislikes:
• gas
* teething (don't we all)
* still dislikes the car but a little less hatred than the previous month
* being put down
* when mommy sneezes

Development:
• holds his head up so well
• smiles really big & is starting to laugh/giggle too
• rolls over (so exciting!!)
• grabs things & holds onto them or puts them into his mouth
• drools all over himself
• leans forward
• "crawls" up your shoulder when you hold him
• more of a screaming type cry when he gets hysterical

All the above still apply, not sure what's really new other than he actually giggles now. He grabs & is starting to reach for things to bring to his mouth. He's starting to sleep at night a little longer now that we're starting a routine & have him swaddled in his cocoon.

Hows mom doing?: I'm much more confident in myself as a mother to my Edi. He's the best little guy and I love him more than I could have ever imagined. I'm thrilled to be going to the doctor again tomorrow with my list of questions to hopefully get answers for Edison. His spit ups are less but I'm noticing he's spitting up & chocking on it & swallowing it back down again (gross!) all day long. So I think she must be able to help with that.

Lately I've been really bummed out about my weight. I've gained back some after Edison's birth and my initial weight loss was amazing but feels less of an accomplishment. I got cravings & lack of sleep & exhaustion & all those excuses have set in & I'm back up on the scale. I very much want my next pregnancy to be as healthy as possible (no, NOT currently trying) so I MUST loose weight to accomplish that goal. It's really eating me up inside which is causing more stress & anxiety over the issue & so I eat more & the cycle continues. I very much want to be completely gluten free for life & so that's the continued goal I'm striving for. Hoping to start boot camp in October.

Well, Edi is finally asleep & it's time to get him in bed. Until next time. I'll leave you with some really cute Edison pictures!
N.