Feeding through the pain

Because I love my son and will do anything for him is why I've continued to breast feed. It's not to toot my own horn or to satisfy my mommy need. It's because he wants it and he gets to decide if we keep going. At least right now that's the truth of our breast feeding relationship. And I've got to tell you, right now it's hurting like hell.

I've been spending many months in pain. Like crazy pain. Like "give me back my horrible cramps or let me go through labour again" kind of pain. At least that type of cramping I can deal with, this stabby, burning, stinging, radiating pain I hate. No, I loath. I desperately want it to stop. It doesn't happen all day long but I get shoots of it frequently throughout the day and once Edison feeds on it I am guaranteed tremendous pain for hours afterwards. Every. Single. Time.

So I stopped feeding him on that side and instead I try to pump it. At least the pumping doesn't cause the pain (thank goodness). And I take Advil to help me so I'm not groping myself or constantly walking around braless.

This SUCKS and I want to quit. I want to say "no! Mommy all dried up." But then I look into those teary blue eyes wanting nothing more than the comfort and milk only I can supply. So I latch him another time and hope that some how, some way I'll get answers soon. Because it's far too long like this and has only gotten worse. Please, no more milk blisters, no more pain. I just want to feed my son and look into his eyes and hold onto the experience, the joy, the love that is this whole breast feeding adventure.

N.