My anxious mind

It's honestly been much more difficult for me this round to enjoy every aspect of this pregnancy. I'm very happy to be pregnant and the anticipation of this life coming into our family has been wonderful. But I've been anxiously scared along the way. 

Now with the worry of what sort of bug and/or infection is plaguing me at the moment. I'm once again terrified that baby bean is in trouble. I sit waiting and hoping that I'll feel movement to get some sort of mental relief. I pray and sit bringing myself back to a place of peace. It's exhausting to stop myself from thinking the worst.  

This is the aftermath of miscarriage. This is a mothers anxious mind after loss. I know that the possibility is there. I've felt just a taste of the heartbreak. It's hard to forget, to trust and give it over to the divine. But I'm trying. 

Only 23 weeks left to go. 

N.