so.. I hate my doctor...okay hes a nice guy, i'll give him that. but does he even listen to a thing I say?? NOPE! he just nods his head, scribbles something on a piece of paper and hands me some drugs that I absolutely refuse to take. because he was seriously not listening to what is going on.
i have abdominal pain every day... I am always feeling like I need to throw up and other things I will not mention, but he didnt listen to that. he said "here is some zelnorm, see me when your done it"
NO!
ive heard things about zelnorm.. and I honestly dont want to do that, i want a diagnosis, i want a doctor to listen to what I am saying and care about it... I want someone to tell me "yes! here is it, there is something wrong" instead of feeling like Im the only one in the world that feels like crap, instead of feeling like what i am experiencing is all in my head... AHHHH!!!
okay thats my screaming of anger frustration.

I cried.... actually i bawled my eyes out when I got outta that office and into the car. my mom asked what I thought and I said "a new doctor!" so here i go on a search for a female doctor that wont look at me like im nuts when i tell her things im going through and who will tell me that i am not alone in it and suggest some sort of testing to make sure.
anyone want to share their doctor?

and right now that doctor appointment came at the worst time.
When I am sick with some sort of cold, flu or virus thats making me feel like crap...and when you feel sooo sick all you want is comfort food, and let me tell you brown rice and chicken is not comfort food. So Ive been bad with my eating these past couple of days... I just dont feel good.... so why try and feel better?
That silly doctor has made me feel so much like there is something wrong with me mentally, i know that this isnt true. BA!

But there is no excuse, I have been placing so much on my health that I have come to loose sight of God. This I completely regret... to focus so much on my IBS has been the most unhealthy thing to do. Cause in that I have lost my spiritual health and that is most important. I need so desperatly to get that back.... please think of me in your prayers!
FATHER GOD... FORGIVE ME! Amen.