"trust God from the bottom of your heart, don't try to figure everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go, he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own, give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friends, resent God's discipline, don't sulk under his loving correction. Its the child he loves that God corrects, a father's delight is behind all this." Proverbs 3:5-12 (the message translation)

when i was in the bathroom in hawaii my little brother brandon (hes actually not so little anymore, being 16 and 6"3) placed my beloved stuffed bear and note up for me to see when i got out. i honestly almost cried cause i wasnt feeling so great that day, missing someone special from home and having my routine stomach pains. it touched the deepest part of my heart, which prompted me to take a picture.
you know, lately ive felt so far away from God that it hurts... a pain other then my stomach, yet one which cuts the deeper part of who iam. i realize over and over again how horribly lost i am without Christ. i see so much sin in my life that it overwhelms me and convicts me. the verse that you read at the beginning of this blog is what i read everyday, day in and day out, something which i should take the effort to memorize. its opening up my eyes to see the most important thing... my relationship with God... its telling me that I dont know everything! I am nothing compared to the majesty of God, to the increasing amazing power of Christ in my life. I especially love the part "your body will glow with health". I do not blame anyone for the things in my life, i blame myself at most times, yet the peircing thing that keeps me stuck is fear I guess. the fear that i am not pleasing God the way I should be, that im not "doing all i can" to bring him what he expects from me. this is such horrid thinking. GOD LOVES ME! no matter what i do, no matter who i am, there is nothing that can keep him away from me... so why!? why am i allowing lies to keep me stuck in the fear of where i am. pastor mike said something that really grabbed me... that God will always complete what he starts in his people, that he IS NOT going to give up on me, even if i give up on myself, even if what i think isnt enough for him, he will continue to try to convince me that it is, cause hes not looking for me to measure up. hes just looking for me to seek him, love him... Love, its the only word that describes who God is and what he expects from us. L-O-V-E, so love, here I come! :)