Im trying SO HARD to understand more about myself and why I abuse myself with food. And actually, Im finally getting somewhere! :) Im finally starting to find why I have taken the task of eating and have made it into an abusive activity. Which has caused all sorts of digestive and emotional problems.
This is actually because all my life Ive been told that Love is food. When I eat I used to be taught by my grandparents and then parents actions that to feel love is to eat, and to feel comfort is to eat. And so, I always have associated food with feeling loved. If I was sad about something, angry at someone and just plain unhappy... I would turn to food to make me feel better because I was taught to do that. Instead of dealing with my problems, working them out, coming to terms with tough situations, my reaction was to hide behind food.
NO MORE! and Im serious.
Im sick and tired of being sick...and I get sick A LOT. Im tired of feeling tired, Im tired of not dealing with myself and the things of my past. Because these actions and the way Im dealing with my problems and life today, is NOT going to help me tomorrow. Its not going to help cam and I when we finally do get married and it surely isn't going to help my children when I finally have them.
so... YAY! Im not afraid to revisit my past and deal with the hurts and pains I experienced that I was too afraid to experience at the time. Bring it on! :)
hahaha.....

I love my life, and I Love the people in my life.
I love Cam and the promising future that him and I have... I love myself and the path that God has me walking on, my life is NOT easy I can say that twice, but it is SO incredible and I am SO thankful.
So love... does not come from a chocolate bar, not from a bowl of icecream, nor from the craving that is overwhelming at the time. It comes from amazing people and an amazing God, This I FINALLY can understand.
yay for healing! :)
yay for promises unraveling themselves before my very eyes.

BE BLESSED!