so you would think that things would be easier now that I know exactly what is making me sick. But unfortunately thats not the case. I think that the whole eating completely differently than what was expected is almost harder. I feel lost. I have no idea what its like to not eat meat, I haven't touched it really since the results. I feel like I am eating carbs way too much, but I only have tortilla wraps (no yeast) as my source of "bread". At this moment I have excruciating pain on my left side which hasn't gone away, and I haven't eaten anything off the "no" list. I wonder if it is psychological, thinking for so long that dairy, wheat, sugar was making me sick and all the sudden finding out that its fine. Either that, or Im not eating enough, so when I eat a normal size meal all the sudden my "insides" get blocked and it causes great pain. I've been on the couch since 7pm and its close to midnight.

I ask for fellow believers to pray for me and for guidance to help me discover what it is I am supposed to do. There is so much preparation, so my time, effort, that needs to go into all of this. I feel so much like I don't have a grasp on anything and the cravings have become overwhelming again.
I mean sugar is alright, coffee is alright, dairy is alright, as long as I am giving myself time in between my helpings. I can't over due it. I just don't have the body that allows such a thing.

Its getting used to who I am, discovering the body I have been given. Its understanding whats going on.
My mom was encouraging yesterday. She said "you have Leaky Gut Syndrome Nicole, it took years for you to get to this point, you cannot expect it to take you a week to heal and recover"
shes right!
the villi (I think I spelled that right) are shrinking and retracting because of all the sensitivity in my system, this is NOT GOOD! but its reality for me.
Its something I can not ignore, its something I can not deny, its something that will live with me for a while longer. And God has blessed me by introducing me to healing in this way.

I need to allow God to be glorified through this... I can not allow this to be all about me. I will have no strength on my own accord to get through this.

Thanks for listening to my ranting... I greatly appreciate it!

Blessings!