Christmas is my most favorite season of the year! I absolutely LOVE every aspect of Christmas, the purpose/reason, the food, the family affairs, dressing up.... buying gifts for loved ones and seeing their expressions, singing carols, drinking hot chocolate or starbucks treats! its all just magical... it reminds me of my childhood, it reminds me every year what life is about and what family is about. This year however, has been very difficult financially, which was completely expected. But expecting and living things are completely different. Ive never been in the position to be completely financially unsure. My parents have always "taken care of me" and now that its between Cam and I, all the sudden I'm petrified for our future. Expecting a certain type of life, and actually seeing the reality of what my life may look like in five years, or where we are going... I have had to re-adjust my expectations. God is seriously working out in my mind what it means to want and to need, what is realistic and over the top and that maybe the brand new home that would be wonderful, may turn out to be a beautifully "lived in project" cause that would be all we can afford.

We just recently came back from Winnipeg to see Cams sister Michele, her husband Scott and their children Jackie (turing 3) and new baby Ashley (3 months). As well, we were there to see Colin (cams brother) and his fiance Jessica. It was a FABULOUS time! However, very VERY cold! The weather network would call for "-26, but will feel like -32" what the heck!?? Why not just say "-32!" The city of Winnipeg has so much character in the types of buildings there are, all nice and brick and lots of murals all over the place. However, the homes that were around where Mikki and Scott live, were not that fabulous on the outside. Because of the harsh winters, the homes look like the weather.... cold and sad. However, even though the outside looks warn and torn, majority of the homes on the inside are cozy and cute! (I looked through lots of realty magazines and tv) The prices of homes there are laughable compared to BC. Its actually made me cry a few times with how less expensive it really is to live in Winnipeg compared to BC. Im really starting to learn and live out the idea of sacrifice. Live here, maybe be able to afford a townhome and be near my family and love the land, weather and community... OR... live in Winnipeg, leave my family, have the perfect home, let our money go a lot further and deal with the harsh winters. Its a hard toss up... does Cam wish to move!?? No way! but the reality of the situation may be that we may be better off there. I have no idea.

Holding Ashley made me seriously want to have children like... now! hahahaah.... she is the most precious and adorable baby girl. but so is Jackie too! to chase her around and give her hugs and try to help her learn about the potty! it was just such a peek into what my future could hold.... and I LOVED it. I had Ashley on my bed almost every morning when Mikki drove Scott to work, it was so special to just have that time holding her and watching her kick, smile and be a happy, adorable baby. I would pick Ashley up more than once and just keep her in my arms for hours, until she needed a feeding. I learned how to keep her quiet while she screamed cause of gas (the football hold and rocking!) and even changed her a few times! I can't wait to visit Jen (cams other pregnant sister) and Dan and their going to be brand new baby boy in Feburary and want babies all over again!

MERRY CHRISTMAS! if I don't post again before then.

O... and Cam and I, thanks to my parents, are going to have the most fabulous anniversary meal and date night tomorrow! I can't believe its been a year already. Man has time passed very very quickly!