this book by Geneen Roth has been inspirational to me... it has been apparent to me that I obviously have an eating disorder. It is not anorexia or bulemia, instead it is the obessive need to drown myself in overeating and starving and depriving myself, hating myself, loathing the person that I am and trying so desperately to fix it, to "fix" me.

I saw this books author on tv and it became very clear to me that I NEEDED with such a desperate plea to read that book... I remember being in the state of mind that said "you have to read that book Nicole, you must read it! freedom from all this shit may actually come from the psychology in that book" and well, it did in certain terms.

I read it with the knowledge that this woman is not a christian, she does not talk about Jesus or calvary, she does not speak about how Christ is the savior of the world and that through treating ourselves like temples we live out Gods plan. No, I am sorry this book is something different, what may be defined as "new age" if people may place it there... it is helpful... and I ABSOLUTELY recommend it to every woman. Not everyone may get the experience that I have gotten from it, but I believe that every woman who has learned to believe she is "fat, unworthy, left behind, unwanted" and has convinced themselves that they "aren't lovable" those women NEED to find themselves again... they do, absolutely deserve to love themselves, all of themselves, even the jiggly parts of themselves :)

Since reading most of this book (I have a few chapters left) I am glad to be in a place of examining how I react to food, to my own emotions, to my choices... I am listening to my body and understanding a heck of a lot about past experiences that got me here. To the place of loathing everything about myself. FINALLY I love my body, I think I am sexy and desirable and I can FINALLY see what my husband sees in me when I am naked. I have been in shitty past relationships... but the beauty of this book has helped me to realise that nothing defines me but me.. and the choices I make and how I want to be, and I loooove that. And the icecream that I used to drown my sorrows in, the cookies and anything else that I could get my hands is not needed anymore. I am finally whole and lovable and worthy and sexy and I see that in myself and I am starting to listen to my body and what it needs and wants... ironically what it wants isn't icecream all along, instead it's nourishment and love and movement.

Praise God! :)