Baby weight

Before I got pregnant I had the realization that my health was not where I wanted it to be. And I was quickly walking down the road of morbid obesity. Before I peed on that preggo stick I committed myself to waiting on the baby thing and whip my ass into shape. My baby deserved an incredible environment to grow. Yet, the plan sorta changed when the pregnancy test screamed positive. Now what was I
supposed to do?

I honestly had a flow of different emotions, disappointment that my Bubba would grow in this obese body and fear that the weight I would gain would be impossible to loose after the delivery. Visions of my diabetic, obese and sick Oma flooded my mind. Don't get me wrong, I was incredibly happy to be pregnant and happy to know that I am indeed fertile but was it the right timing?

I truly believe that God has His hand in every part of my life and this wasn't going to be any different. I prayed every day on my way to work last year for a baby, I'm not even exaggerating EVERY day I prayed. So God answered, obviously He didn't see my weight as an issue. I keep reminding myself of this fact. So far the scale has only moved up 2 pounds. I'm 18 weeks, so 2 pounds I think is a huge accomplishment!! Especially since Bubba could now be weighing in at approximately half a pound.

I am finding it interesting to look in the mirror and see my waist rapidly disappear. And a bigger and bigger baby belly appear. I swear I am going to be a house!! A huge, pregnant, monster of a house. And then I think, oh gosh! The stretch marks, the loose skin after I give birth, the saggy boobs, will my body EVER be healthy? Will I EVER get back into those size eight jeans I once wore when I first met Cam? I'm just trying to be honest here.

I'm also struggling with how I'm eating now. I've struggled with whether I should commit to being gluten free and dairy free for a very long time. I keep going back to how great I feel when I stick to it, yet I never seem to be able stay on it long-term. I'm concerned with how it's affecting my pregnancy and Bubba. I'm concerned that the food I'm eating right now is affecting Bubba's development and that if Bubba will be negatively affected if I do suddenly go gluten free now (today).

A lot goes through my mind these days.

Happy Saturday
N.