May, please take your time coming

It's the end of April which means before I know it May will be here and along with it will come Edison's second birthday, Mother's Day and the end of my third and final practicum for my ECE certificate. It will be busy, joyful, stressful and a huge sigh of relief.

I'll be glad to be busy, distracted and frequently surrounded by family. Not only because of the events that will take place but because May 28th was supposed to be a day to be greatly anticipated. It was my due date for my second pregnancy and that loss is hurting all over again. I find myself crying, I catch myself breathing deeper and feel the weight of that date close to my heart. Grieving an early miscarriage is so hard and complicated. It's unfair and incredibly painful. It's confusing and causes me all sorts of anxiety. My heart aches. My mind spins. I can't help but wonder what could have been.

You my love... are my favourite what if.


N.