so I picked up the book "captivating" on friday afternoon, last night I started reading it and today Im having a hard time putting it down, even though there are two research essays I absolutely have to get done soon.
This book has opened up my eyes to a huge reality which I have been struggling with every since Cam and I started dating and has seemingly not gone away.
I long, I THRIVE, no.. I desire with every part of my being to be persued, loved, taken care of, protected, chased after and told that I am beautiful.
I desire to be held when I am sick, to be stared at when I am stunning, to be chased when I am busy, to be kissed when I am vunerable... to be protected when I am scared, to be loved when I am angry, to be entertained when I cant seem to smile, and to be told that I am everything he has ever wanted, that I am the angel he has prayed for and can not seem to understand how I came into his life.
I long, want and was created to be... persued, and beautiful.
I do not think that guys understand this longing that most women have, (some more than others) to be chased after, protected and taken care of.
And when we do not feel this way, when our men do not "get it"... it hurts us to the very core of our being.
Yet, I also think that some men do "get it" but are clueless as to how they are supposed to "measure up" to the expectations that some women have.
I hate that Ive even put up those expectations... those which I have torn down.
TRY!!!!! o my goodness just TRY!
say that you love her, say that she is the best thing thats happened to you since take out sushi! ;)
TELL HER SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
surprise her with a date, surprise her by showing up at her house with flowers, surprise her with Ben N' Jerrys icecream... find her and give her the sweetest hug and kiss just because you couldnt stand being without any longer.
I have truely come to realise how important this is to me... that this is the way that I feel and that its okay because I was created in the likeness of God, I was created to be vunerable, beautiful, and a delight.
Praise God!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
so this is the word of the day: HEALING
what did you think I was going to talk about??? hhaha... you're probably thinking, "this again Nicole, you always talk about healing... its like your obsessed" YEP! good observation and I probably am, but this is because its so very real in my life that there is nothing else I ponder really, Other than the revelations of Christ, Of course!
last night at vespers there was a song about healing and it really brought me to start thinking again about what it truely means to be healed and to be walking in healing, what I really have started to appreciate is to see myself as a person of healing grace... as a person being healed by God in the grace of God, to not see my "disease" of negative thought or self destruction, but to see the healing which is taking place every single day! I love this revelation of thought...
... I absolutely LOVE Romans chapter six verses ninteen to twenty three, which reads:
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
LET YOUR BODY, SOUL AND LIFE BE USED FOR GODS RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!
AMEN!
Be Blessed! ;)
what did you think I was going to talk about??? hhaha... you're probably thinking, "this again Nicole, you always talk about healing... its like your obsessed" YEP! good observation and I probably am, but this is because its so very real in my life that there is nothing else I ponder really, Other than the revelations of Christ, Of course!
last night at vespers there was a song about healing and it really brought me to start thinking again about what it truely means to be healed and to be walking in healing, what I really have started to appreciate is to see myself as a person of healing grace... as a person being healed by God in the grace of God, to not see my "disease" of negative thought or self destruction, but to see the healing which is taking place every single day! I love this revelation of thought...
... I absolutely LOVE Romans chapter six verses ninteen to twenty three, which reads:
19I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. 20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
LET YOUR BODY, SOUL AND LIFE BE USED FOR GODS RIGHTEOUSNESS!!!
AMEN!
Be Blessed! ;)
Thursday, January 18, 2007
although the pain of realtionships are still very real and still a very repeating process, i have discovered that the joys of realtionships continously overthrow the bad encounters.
things are good... life is wonderful... and the darkness of night has brightened with singing birds and blooming flowers. what has progressed you may ask to make me talk of birds and flowers?
the acknowledgement that i am among the fallen in the world....what i mean is that my thoughtprocesses have caused me more harm than good, on most days. I now have to come to terms that there will always be a fight in the way I think, and that capturing my thoughts is a practice i need in every way to learn..
the enemy has made expert attempts in making one feel rotten and distorting their mind to think of themselves as nothing other than the fallen being they are.
ive got news!
I AM WORTHY! and so are you!
yesturday morning i walked into my prayer counsellors office... (you may gasp at the notion that one like me would ever dream of going to prayer counselling, not that "one like me" is even meant to sound like i am near better than anyone else, i am not, which is my point)But if you read in my previous posts you will discover that God has done things in my life that no other could possibly do... healing has been my "foundation word" among others as the theme of my past six months... but what i am really trying to get at is that the thought proccess which i was indugling in was nowhere near healthy... and nothing like what God has been trying to whisper in my ear
so what are the whispers that resound after chasing away the lies????
that I AM LOVABLE!
I AM BEAUTIFUL... and I AM A CHILD OF GOD!
this I know with more than anything now... is TRUTH! Praise God!
when lies seem to be the foundation of your thoughts, serious consequences become what you start to live out... which seep into the everyday of life, relationships and all.
i no longer long to "fix" no longer long to "control" no longer feel the threat of unworthyness and unlove... i recongize now that i am truely a fallen human soul, and so is my scooby of a man, But... I am also saved by the grace of God...
i can not... i REFUSE to allow myself to beleive that all my worth depends and is laid within the boundries of my previous "happily ever after" mentality, which is of itself a falseness, an obvious lie!
To lay the monster burden of dependance and completeness on the man I love is false as well, that is a shoe that only God can fill...
I am WORTHY enough and worth enough to change myself, for myself but most importantly for God and in the basis of God changing me for him... not solely for another human, even if that human is the one which happens to be the love of my life...
PRAISE GOD! another wall has fallen, may it never be built again.
Be Blessed! :)
things are good... life is wonderful... and the darkness of night has brightened with singing birds and blooming flowers. what has progressed you may ask to make me talk of birds and flowers?
the acknowledgement that i am among the fallen in the world....what i mean is that my thoughtprocesses have caused me more harm than good, on most days. I now have to come to terms that there will always be a fight in the way I think, and that capturing my thoughts is a practice i need in every way to learn..
the enemy has made expert attempts in making one feel rotten and distorting their mind to think of themselves as nothing other than the fallen being they are.
ive got news!
I AM WORTHY! and so are you!
yesturday morning i walked into my prayer counsellors office... (you may gasp at the notion that one like me would ever dream of going to prayer counselling, not that "one like me" is even meant to sound like i am near better than anyone else, i am not, which is my point)But if you read in my previous posts you will discover that God has done things in my life that no other could possibly do... healing has been my "foundation word" among others as the theme of my past six months... but what i am really trying to get at is that the thought proccess which i was indugling in was nowhere near healthy... and nothing like what God has been trying to whisper in my ear
so what are the whispers that resound after chasing away the lies????
that I AM LOVABLE!
I AM BEAUTIFUL... and I AM A CHILD OF GOD!
this I know with more than anything now... is TRUTH! Praise God!
when lies seem to be the foundation of your thoughts, serious consequences become what you start to live out... which seep into the everyday of life, relationships and all.
i no longer long to "fix" no longer long to "control" no longer feel the threat of unworthyness and unlove... i recongize now that i am truely a fallen human soul, and so is my scooby of a man, But... I am also saved by the grace of God...
i can not... i REFUSE to allow myself to beleive that all my worth depends and is laid within the boundries of my previous "happily ever after" mentality, which is of itself a falseness, an obvious lie!
To lay the monster burden of dependance and completeness on the man I love is false as well, that is a shoe that only God can fill...
I am WORTHY enough and worth enough to change myself, for myself but most importantly for God and in the basis of God changing me for him... not solely for another human, even if that human is the one which happens to be the love of my life...
PRAISE GOD! another wall has fallen, may it never be built again.
Be Blessed! :)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
as i sit here...
there are so many things going through my head.. about life, love, relationships, people. i guess i dont understand sometimes why emotional pain can come so easy and yet be so complicated to understand, or express. there is so much flooding my mind in regards to one of the most important relationships in my life... so many questions unanswered, so many misunderstandings and things i dont believe i will ever understand about him... there is pain, sorrow, deep burdens that seem to never lift themselves off of me. im not entirely sure what im getting at.. or if what i say here has any reason to be said, i dont know what will result from a nights conversation, or if the "dream" of happily ever after will ever really be "happily", i wish that it can and in a lot of ways i believe and trust in the promise that it may and it could. but who would have ever thought that love could be this painful and this complicated?? i thought that you love, and then thats it... life makes sence, yet when in fact it seems that you love and life gets more complicated, the mirrior is infront of you and you dont wish to take a look at yourself... isnt that apart of it all? taking a look at yourself? loving another with the expectation and assumption of personal change? i believe so... in lots of ways i want to change to benefit another, in regards to less emotional trama, less selfishness, less anger, less "blowing up" and less want for myself... isnt that what love and marriage are all about? giving to another your complete self... desiring to better yourself for the sake of the other? i dont know anymore, things seem so complicated when it seems like they could be so simple... love is so hard when it should be so easy... i dont expect answers tonight... i dont really expect anything but a hug and a few tears... i guess i mostly expect another painful episode and another cuddle session with my Columbia girls, nothing has changed so far, so why could i expect a change now? yet the Godly voice still resounds in my ear "stay... I promise..." so that i will do... i still love, i still love very much, i just wish it could be easier.
ps. my eye... sooo much better! Praise God! Because i wouldnt of been able to handle an infection with school going full swing
there are so many things going through my head.. about life, love, relationships, people. i guess i dont understand sometimes why emotional pain can come so easy and yet be so complicated to understand, or express. there is so much flooding my mind in regards to one of the most important relationships in my life... so many questions unanswered, so many misunderstandings and things i dont believe i will ever understand about him... there is pain, sorrow, deep burdens that seem to never lift themselves off of me. im not entirely sure what im getting at.. or if what i say here has any reason to be said, i dont know what will result from a nights conversation, or if the "dream" of happily ever after will ever really be "happily", i wish that it can and in a lot of ways i believe and trust in the promise that it may and it could. but who would have ever thought that love could be this painful and this complicated?? i thought that you love, and then thats it... life makes sence, yet when in fact it seems that you love and life gets more complicated, the mirrior is infront of you and you dont wish to take a look at yourself... isnt that apart of it all? taking a look at yourself? loving another with the expectation and assumption of personal change? i believe so... in lots of ways i want to change to benefit another, in regards to less emotional trama, less selfishness, less anger, less "blowing up" and less want for myself... isnt that what love and marriage are all about? giving to another your complete self... desiring to better yourself for the sake of the other? i dont know anymore, things seem so complicated when it seems like they could be so simple... love is so hard when it should be so easy... i dont expect answers tonight... i dont really expect anything but a hug and a few tears... i guess i mostly expect another painful episode and another cuddle session with my Columbia girls, nothing has changed so far, so why could i expect a change now? yet the Godly voice still resounds in my ear "stay... I promise..." so that i will do... i still love, i still love very much, i just wish it could be easier.
ps. my eye... sooo much better! Praise God! Because i wouldnt of been able to handle an infection with school going full swing
Monday, January 08, 2007
so here I am... back at Columbia. I am sooo happy that I am back.
I mean I love my family and all, they are great! But I was just wanting to get out and be on my own again. Yippeee... for being here and finally getting back into the swing of things with classes and all, but thank goodness that doesnt start up until wednesday!!!!
news on my eye you ask?
still taking antibiotics for it... its been doing alright, until this morning where it hurts really badly again! :S BAAAAA!!!!
but everything should be well again soon. **fingers crossed**
at least my eye doesnt still look swelled, although Im still not allowed to wear eye makeup. O Well!
Be Blessed! :)
I mean I love my family and all, they are great! But I was just wanting to get out and be on my own again. Yippeee... for being here and finally getting back into the swing of things with classes and all, but thank goodness that doesnt start up until wednesday!!!!
news on my eye you ask?
still taking antibiotics for it... its been doing alright, until this morning where it hurts really badly again! :S BAAAAA!!!!
but everything should be well again soon. **fingers crossed**
at least my eye doesnt still look swelled, although Im still not allowed to wear eye makeup. O Well!
Be Blessed! :)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I am officially a gimp, why you might ask? Look at this picture, I didnt post it just because I like taking pictures of myself for fun, but because look at my right eye compared to my left eye. Doesnt it look like Im squinting or that my right eye is just shut a little bit too much? No my eyes are not naturally that way, it just decided to do that on wednesday morning and hasnt gone away! My eye is swelling, and it HURTS, not just a slight itch... it HURTS! It has a sharping, horrible pain whenever I close my eye, squint or slightly touch the surrounding area. I even went to the clinic yesturday where the nice doctor guy said "well, I dont know why your eye is swelled like that, I do not see anything... so here are some anti-bacterial drops just in case!" Thanks kind doctor, I really appreciate that you told me you have no idea after I waited a hour and a half to see you! :P O well, I got the drops, they make my eye sting and nothing has changed but I hope things do... I dont want to drive right now in fear that my eye will all the sudden blur on me, that'd be scary! But this isnt the best part, Ive been biten by my adorable ten pound dog, smashed my finger at work where it completely turned blue and was horrible to bend to having my eye swell up on me and make me cry, which made me cry even more because the crying hurt so much I cried.... yep! All in a week..wow, isnt that sad?Cam asked me to not do anything else that would cause me physical harm for the rest of this week, ive pretty much covered the basics, feet, hands and eyes.
Pray for me that I dont accidently do something else which would be more horrible I think I might cry again, which I know would HURT! :'(, O the pain of it all!
Be Blessed! :)
Monday, January 01, 2007
Lauren and I spent thursday morning/afternoon together. We went to Tim Hortons because she hadn't been there yet! Our conversation was great.. relaxed and on-going. Its like she never left... Like shes been here the whole time. Im so excited to see her again tomorrow and then shes back for a while in May! Yipppeee....
Lauren! I know you read this:
thanks so much for being such a wonderful, fun, bright, encouraging and inspiring woman of God. I am so glad and excited that we have kept friends for so long and continue to even though we are miles apart.
You are FAB ;)
Sunday, December 31, 2006
there are many times when I take a step back and evaluate my life. where i am at, and what i am doing. who i am and the things i want to change to better help myself, the things i want to do to create more confidence, more love and display Christ's love a bit more within me.
i do not know why things happen in life. i do not know why i have gone through so much in the past year of 2006. i honestly can not even come to understand that the year is almost gone. already, 12 months of hardship, pain and tears. there has been a lot of crying in these past 12 months, a lot of evaluating, a lot of praying, a lot of depending on God. these things are good, depending on a heavenly father is always a good, yet terribly hard thing to do. but there have also been many blessings this past year. many smiles, many tears of joy! and i imagine that both these things... the good and the bad will present themselves over again in 2007.
i have no idea... no idea at all what this next year will bring.
at least in my last days of 2005, God gave me some idea of what i may find in 2006. but this time... nothing. not even a little hint.
its all up in the air, and it will all fall where God decides to put it.
this i am confident is an alright thing to do. this I am confident, is a wonderful thing to believe in, that God has my life, and espeically 2007 all sorted out already, i just need to hand it over, relax, and enjoy the ride... enjoy my life.
I have been praying over and over again for confirmation in how to take care of myself, how to love myself, how to make sure that the bondage of sickness doesnt take hold of me again.
I can not stand the thought of going through 2007 sick.... Ive done it for too many years already. NO MORE!
no more sickness, I no longer allow its control.
i finally am taking a stand against it.
i finally want to take hold of what i am worth in the eyes of God and stand up for it. health wise, and in other ways as well...
I deserve health, and God deserves for me to take care of myself,
SO! I am asking how...and God is being incredibly faithful. I am soooo excited for what 2007 will bring in regards to me finally stepping up to my responsibility to myself.
yippppeeee......
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Blessings :)
i do not know why things happen in life. i do not know why i have gone through so much in the past year of 2006. i honestly can not even come to understand that the year is almost gone. already, 12 months of hardship, pain and tears. there has been a lot of crying in these past 12 months, a lot of evaluating, a lot of praying, a lot of depending on God. these things are good, depending on a heavenly father is always a good, yet terribly hard thing to do. but there have also been many blessings this past year. many smiles, many tears of joy! and i imagine that both these things... the good and the bad will present themselves over again in 2007.
i have no idea... no idea at all what this next year will bring.
at least in my last days of 2005, God gave me some idea of what i may find in 2006. but this time... nothing. not even a little hint.
its all up in the air, and it will all fall where God decides to put it.
this i am confident is an alright thing to do. this I am confident, is a wonderful thing to believe in, that God has my life, and espeically 2007 all sorted out already, i just need to hand it over, relax, and enjoy the ride... enjoy my life.
I have been praying over and over again for confirmation in how to take care of myself, how to love myself, how to make sure that the bondage of sickness doesnt take hold of me again.
I can not stand the thought of going through 2007 sick.... Ive done it for too many years already. NO MORE!
no more sickness, I no longer allow its control.
i finally am taking a stand against it.
i finally want to take hold of what i am worth in the eyes of God and stand up for it. health wise, and in other ways as well...
I deserve health, and God deserves for me to take care of myself,
SO! I am asking how...and God is being incredibly faithful. I am soooo excited for what 2007 will bring in regards to me finally stepping up to my responsibility to myself.
yippppeeee......
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Blessings :)
Monday, December 25, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Cam and I had a blast on monday, buildling our Gingerbread train! it was halarious because we couldnt find the train... we went to Safeway, Save-on-foods and then finally IGA, and there sure enough was the train at IGA... it took us an hour!!! But it was so much fun!
Here is Cam, deciding where to put everything... he actualy made a huge candy cane gun thingy that came out of the back part of the train
Taaa Daaaaa!!!!! Here is the finished product... dont cha love my pose???!!!!! I love it! :)
Here is Cam, deciding where to put everything... he actualy made a huge candy cane gun thingy that came out of the back part of the train
Taaa Daaaaa!!!!! Here is the finished product... dont cha love my pose???!!!!! I love it! :)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
ANOTHER WEDDING INVITATION!!!
o my goodness... they keep coming and coming and coming.... I need to buy another dress and another set of sexy heels to keep up with all of these wonderful celebrations. I am excited for this one (Im excited for them all!) and I didnt even expect an invitation to Tamaras wedding but Yippeee!! I love going to weddings and celebrating a couples love and committment, so sign me up! Im going! :)
Today I feel GREAT, Fantastic, and like a huge burden has been lifted away! Things still need to be talked through, but I have a much better understanding of everything... which I can only thank God for!
Praise God... for his amazing blessings
Lauren is home!
"hello lauren! cant wait to see you!"
I havent talked to her yet... but Im sure shes super busy with family things and wedding planning for her best friends! so I completely understand. I just hope I dont miss her call these next couple of days.
can you believe it?
ONE WEEK! and its Christmas... im still not prepared :S
O daddy, what shall I get you?????
any ideas anyone????
Be Blessed! :)
o my goodness... they keep coming and coming and coming.... I need to buy another dress and another set of sexy heels to keep up with all of these wonderful celebrations. I am excited for this one (Im excited for them all!) and I didnt even expect an invitation to Tamaras wedding but Yippeee!! I love going to weddings and celebrating a couples love and committment, so sign me up! Im going! :)
Today I feel GREAT, Fantastic, and like a huge burden has been lifted away! Things still need to be talked through, but I have a much better understanding of everything... which I can only thank God for!
Praise God... for his amazing blessings
Lauren is home!
"hello lauren! cant wait to see you!"
I havent talked to her yet... but Im sure shes super busy with family things and wedding planning for her best friends! so I completely understand. I just hope I dont miss her call these next couple of days.
can you believe it?
ONE WEEK! and its Christmas... im still not prepared :S
O daddy, what shall I get you?????
any ideas anyone????
Be Blessed! :)
Friday, December 15, 2006
I am so excited for finals to be over and to be home relaxing! yipppeee... relaxing! :)
tomorrow cam and his parents are coming over for dinner! we're gonna have lasgana!
and then sunday work :(
Monday Cam and I are going to make and decorate a gingerbread house! im extatic!
I just came back from the annual Christmas movie outting with my parents and brothers, every holiday we go and pick out a holiday movie to see... I cant even remember what movie it was we saw last year but this year it was The Nativity!
and it was AWESOME! I recommend that movie to everyone... and if you cry really easily than I recommend bringing tissues with you when you go, it was an emotional one. The kind of movie that brings to you realise how Holy God is and how human you are. Everything was so accurate as well, and the girl who plays Mary is beautiful!
I think right now Im going to go and sit with God... it seems like the perfect ending to my day... especially after that movie.
Blessings!
tomorrow cam and his parents are coming over for dinner! we're gonna have lasgana!
and then sunday work :(
Monday Cam and I are going to make and decorate a gingerbread house! im extatic!
I just came back from the annual Christmas movie outting with my parents and brothers, every holiday we go and pick out a holiday movie to see... I cant even remember what movie it was we saw last year but this year it was The Nativity! and it was AWESOME! I recommend that movie to everyone... and if you cry really easily than I recommend bringing tissues with you when you go, it was an emotional one. The kind of movie that brings to you realise how Holy God is and how human you are. Everything was so accurate as well, and the girl who plays Mary is beautiful!
I think right now Im going to go and sit with God... it seems like the perfect ending to my day... especially after that movie.
Blessings!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Watch your thoughts; they become words.|Watch your words; they
become actions.|Watch your actions; they become habits.|Watch
your habits; they become character.|Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
watching my thoughts has been a huge struggle for me lately... feelings sometimes can get in the way of reality or at least morph it in a way that is distorted, yet feels so real. all that i am most aware of now is that i need to be true to who God has called me to be and true to my relationship with him. im not so sure of much else... waiting for someone you love is a hard buisness... at least thats the way i feel right now... hahah... "feel" i really hate how your "feelings" are misconceptions, that they can take you in completely different directions. Happy, Sad, Depressed, Mad, Angry... etc...
i know... you're probably confused... haha... thats alright. i wont explain, but im sure you have felt the way i feel right now at one point of your life.
thank goodness that God is so good
and thank goodness that hes speaking so loudly right now... "wait it out, Nicole, trust in me, Nicole, i have plans you can't even imagine, Nicole, stay, Nicole"
i want to go to Marysville, however in a way thats my running place, my place of refuge, the place i hear God the loudest, the place i find answers.........
i think i will make that a goal in the New Year, not the running, at least not a long run.... but a time of meeting God in a place that i feel safe and secure to talk to people.... there is a part of me thats screaming to talk to someone...
at least I get to see Kevin Davidson next week! thats a piece of Marysville.
Blessings! :)
become actions.|Watch your actions; they become habits.|Watch
your habits; they become character.|Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
watching my thoughts has been a huge struggle for me lately... feelings sometimes can get in the way of reality or at least morph it in a way that is distorted, yet feels so real. all that i am most aware of now is that i need to be true to who God has called me to be and true to my relationship with him. im not so sure of much else... waiting for someone you love is a hard buisness... at least thats the way i feel right now... hahah... "feel" i really hate how your "feelings" are misconceptions, that they can take you in completely different directions. Happy, Sad, Depressed, Mad, Angry... etc...
i know... you're probably confused... haha... thats alright. i wont explain, but im sure you have felt the way i feel right now at one point of your life.
thank goodness that God is so good
and thank goodness that hes speaking so loudly right now... "wait it out, Nicole, trust in me, Nicole, i have plans you can't even imagine, Nicole, stay, Nicole"
i want to go to Marysville, however in a way thats my running place, my place of refuge, the place i hear God the loudest, the place i find answers.........
i think i will make that a goal in the New Year, not the running, at least not a long run.... but a time of meeting God in a place that i feel safe and secure to talk to people.... there is a part of me thats screaming to talk to someone...
at least I get to see Kevin Davidson next week! thats a piece of Marysville.
Blessings! :)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Today at the lunch table here at CBC was such a confirmation of what God has established in my life, there was such encouragment, it makes me thrilled that the vision God has given me for what he wants me to do, or take the steps to do is shared by others as well. I was expressing my desire of doing purity and beauty seminars around BC for young girls as what I want to do after graduation, and the basis as to why I switched my major.
Laurie was so encouraging and such a blessing, she was confirming that one of her wants in life is to do the same thing...she was sooooo excited and kept saying how excited she is for me to do that and have the same vision.
I dont know what is going to happen... I am very much trusting that God has it all taken care of. But the excitement and the reality of the task is overwhelming... I know that I am not expected to do it all on my own. God is doing to amazing things!
PRAISE GOD!
Blessings! :)
Laurie was so encouraging and such a blessing, she was confirming that one of her wants in life is to do the same thing...she was sooooo excited and kept saying how excited she is for me to do that and have the same vision.
I dont know what is going to happen... I am very much trusting that God has it all taken care of. But the excitement and the reality of the task is overwhelming... I know that I am not expected to do it all on my own. God is doing to amazing things!
PRAISE GOD!
Blessings! :)
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
well... it has been decided!
for the past six months I have been doubtful with whether or not missions and the intercultural studies program at CBC is right for me and what God has planned for my future. The thought of leaving home for eight months, and graduating with a BA which is meant for someone doing long term missions work, didnt seem right, nor something that made any sence.
The vision given to me from God has been with working in a youth group setting with young girls, grades 6-12. I want to run purity seminars and beauty seminars, fighting the North American media with Gods word and truth for the lives of these girls.
So.... what does this mean school wise??
I will be changing my major.
Instead of intercultural studies, I am now going into Care Giving and Counselling.
I want to be a counsellor for these young girls who are struggling with self image, puity, sexual immorality and pre-marrital sex, healing with struggle in eating disorders and an inability to take care of ones self.
This is my news!
it may come as a shock and surprise, believe me, I was surprised as well once I seriously sat down with God and asked him what HE wanted me to do with my life for his kingdom. But the vision is strong... its kinda scary, but I know that I can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength"
I will be graduating with a BA in care giving and counselling which could transfer credits for more schooling to get my masters if I choose.
missions is still a huge part of my life and heart. I want to continue taking part in short term missions trips with CBC and my church, but it will no longer be my main focus. A counselling degree can be used in the youth group setting and missions setting as well. It is the tool that I will use to do the best ministry I can through Christ who guides me...
so... my life looks completely different.
no more internship.... and maybe the need for one more year at CBC. No more looking into my future and wondering where it will take me, no more stressing over the implications of leaving Canada for half a year.
We will see what happens, and what this next year, 2007 has to offer!
But I am THRILLED to proclaim that God has shown me the way my life should take and I will follow in obedience and exicitement for the task which is laid before me.
Blessings! :)
for the past six months I have been doubtful with whether or not missions and the intercultural studies program at CBC is right for me and what God has planned for my future. The thought of leaving home for eight months, and graduating with a BA which is meant for someone doing long term missions work, didnt seem right, nor something that made any sence.
The vision given to me from God has been with working in a youth group setting with young girls, grades 6-12. I want to run purity seminars and beauty seminars, fighting the North American media with Gods word and truth for the lives of these girls.
So.... what does this mean school wise??
I will be changing my major.
Instead of intercultural studies, I am now going into Care Giving and Counselling.
I want to be a counsellor for these young girls who are struggling with self image, puity, sexual immorality and pre-marrital sex, healing with struggle in eating disorders and an inability to take care of ones self.
This is my news!
it may come as a shock and surprise, believe me, I was surprised as well once I seriously sat down with God and asked him what HE wanted me to do with my life for his kingdom. But the vision is strong... its kinda scary, but I know that I can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength"
I will be graduating with a BA in care giving and counselling which could transfer credits for more schooling to get my masters if I choose.
missions is still a huge part of my life and heart. I want to continue taking part in short term missions trips with CBC and my church, but it will no longer be my main focus. A counselling degree can be used in the youth group setting and missions setting as well. It is the tool that I will use to do the best ministry I can through Christ who guides me...
so... my life looks completely different.
no more internship.... and maybe the need for one more year at CBC. No more looking into my future and wondering where it will take me, no more stressing over the implications of leaving Canada for half a year.
We will see what happens, and what this next year, 2007 has to offer!
But I am THRILLED to proclaim that God has shown me the way my life should take and I will follow in obedience and exicitement for the task which is laid before me.
Blessings! :)
Friday, December 08, 2006
So... Here I was last night at 4ish, getting ready for "Charlie Brown Christmas" at the CBC Christmas banquet, doing my hair, makeup, getting all "dolled" up for it... I even wore my "little black dress" and sexy shoes! It was so much fun getting ready with Dara, who then slept over here last night. Cam made his way to my MedoWoods aprtment to pick us up and we were off... and very very early! But got the best table most definatly!
Everyone that attended were all pretty in their dresses and suits, it was a fantabulous night! Then at the closing remarks... Eric gave the invitation for all who attended to come for a party at White House, (aka Cams place). And Im serious, that house is not meant to hold so many people, its small, its old and the floor feels like it will cave in when fourty people jump up and down on it, especially in the living room area!!! But... it was a Blast! I was exhuasted, considering I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before, but I tried my best to dance all funky like! :P Unfortuently when the party was getting good, Earl, the security night guy came to crash it. Someone filed a complaint to the school and threatened to call the cops on us if we werent quiet. Which I find halarious since the house is on campus and we're a bible college, most got a kick outta that one! I stayed behind with Dara, Nantina and Andrew, hanging out with Cam... until 2am... well after curfew! O WELL! All and all, everything was great!
Cam made my night wonderful!!! He was the sweetest gentleman, getting my punch for me, pulling my chair back for me to sit down, escorting me to the banquet!! I was treated like a princess! :) So.. I got some pics to share with you and I will be getting more from Cam, so maybe later I'll post more... Blessings!! :)
Arent we the cuttest couple ever!?!?! He tried so hard to not make such a goofy face in this photo that he ended up making a goofy face! but thats what makes him Cam... :)
Doesnt Dara look fantastic?? seriously boys.... shes Hot! :)
Okay, this girl here... Heidi, is wonderful! Shes so much fun and she made my Mission class a lot more fun! Isnt she just gorgeous???
And here we have Amber, she is right beside my apartment, the door right across the "hall" practically.. and she is SO MUCH FUN! Shes my late night study, coffee run, talk about whatever buddy... and I LOVE YOU AMBER! (its the 3rd time we've said it!) Shes soooo amazing and beautiful!
Amanda!!! Shes sooooo much fun! this girl can make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Shes beautiful, and we like to do our late night, visit dara at her diner runs!!
MY UNIT! we're not all here... but most of us are! :)
Everyone that attended were all pretty in their dresses and suits, it was a fantabulous night! Then at the closing remarks... Eric gave the invitation for all who attended to come for a party at White House, (aka Cams place). And Im serious, that house is not meant to hold so many people, its small, its old and the floor feels like it will cave in when fourty people jump up and down on it, especially in the living room area!!! But... it was a Blast! I was exhuasted, considering I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before, but I tried my best to dance all funky like! :P Unfortuently when the party was getting good, Earl, the security night guy came to crash it. Someone filed a complaint to the school and threatened to call the cops on us if we werent quiet. Which I find halarious since the house is on campus and we're a bible college, most got a kick outta that one! I stayed behind with Dara, Nantina and Andrew, hanging out with Cam... until 2am... well after curfew! O WELL! All and all, everything was great!
Cam made my night wonderful!!! He was the sweetest gentleman, getting my punch for me, pulling my chair back for me to sit down, escorting me to the banquet!! I was treated like a princess! :) So.. I got some pics to share with you and I will be getting more from Cam, so maybe later I'll post more... Blessings!! :)
Arent we the cuttest couple ever!?!?! He tried so hard to not make such a goofy face in this photo that he ended up making a goofy face! but thats what makes him Cam... :)
Doesnt Dara look fantastic?? seriously boys.... shes Hot! :)
Okay, this girl here... Heidi, is wonderful! Shes so much fun and she made my Mission class a lot more fun! Isnt she just gorgeous???
And here we have Amber, she is right beside my apartment, the door right across the "hall" practically.. and she is SO MUCH FUN! Shes my late night study, coffee run, talk about whatever buddy... and I LOVE YOU AMBER! (its the 3rd time we've said it!) Shes soooo amazing and beautiful!
Amanda!!! Shes sooooo much fun! this girl can make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Shes beautiful, and we like to do our late night, visit dara at her diner runs!!
MY UNIT! we're not all here... but most of us are! :)
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