lately, life has been GOOOOOOOD! I have been off work for a month already! can you believe it? thats just so crazy! and I haven't looked back. I do not regret quitting, it was absolutely the best move for me! Since learning that I do not have gallbladder disease, Ive been eating MUCH more healthy, and Ive been making better choices. I haven't seen such a big difference on the scale yet, but that will come. Im not going to rush the process... Im just going to take my time so I succeed. Ive been going to massage therapy which has helped so much with my headaches, so thats just perfect that Ive found something thats affordable and perfect for fixing that all consuming problem of migraines.

something that really touched my heart this week was a post that I read on my friends blog. This particular friend has also suffered from Endometriosis and has helped me through my journey of appointments, discovery and surgery. There are times that I forget the process even happened, and then there are times that I very much remember the pain, the actual surgery and feel the scars on my stomach. I remember dr. williams saying that after two surgeries there shouldn't be a third due to scar tissue, and that there is a 30% chance of Endo returning after it has been removed. I also remember the claim that pregancy at most times "cures" Endo. But now I read off my friends blog that she believes her Endo has returned! and she has had two surgeries with dr. williams and had a daughter last year (babies born of Endo sufferers I believe are miracles due to the percentage of infertility associated with the disease). And if you haven't experienced the pain and anguish of Endo, then you really have no way of understanding how devestating this is for her. Please keep her in your prayers as she trys to get answers and help. I hope that above all else, God will cure her and bring her peace and strength to deal with this once again. It keeps me on the look out for myself that mine doesn't return.

Yesterday cam and I put our Christmas tree up! and our lights around our front window.... since we don't have a place to put up lights outside so ppl will see at the front of the house (last year we had a balcony) we decided that the window will be our focal point. Im not sure the tenants before us were this "creative" with the space. Our landlords seem pleasantly surprised by our constant decorating and use of their basement, and our patio.
I'll post a photo later if I remember.

T-minus 13 days until we leave on a jet plane for winnipeg!!!! wahoooo!!!! I have most of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped, cards almost completed and some of my baking done! Im ahead of the game. Lots to do before we go, but Im SO excited for a little mini winter vacation.
Im still looking and hoping that we can get a killer deal to go to Ontario in February to see Jen and Dan, Addie and the new baby boy they have coming in January!

O... update on Cams work. please please please pray for us! that Cam gets steady jobs until Winnipeg and then right back into it for January! Work has been soooo slow this summer, and now all the sudden its almost stopped. we're worried, but know, believe, and understand that God is our provider.

take care! :)

so.. today was the day! i went to see the doctor this morning... and what was the verdict? NO GALLBLADDER DISEASE! no stones! no surgery needed! nothing wrong! hahahaha, I had my mother come in the room with me (yes! sometimes I just need my mommy, even at 24). but mostly it was because I was expecting to be referred to a gallbladder specialist/surgeon. I was expecting to be given a lot of info at one time so I wanted another set of ears in the room with me to absorb all the bad news. But I instead sat there stunned at the lack of information, and the YOU ARE OKAY statement took me for a loop! It must of been aparent in my eyes... cause I was like... really!? Im okay? honestly!? seriously!? what do I do now!? hahaha.... Ive been getting used to there always being something wrong, when instead, now I need to stand strong and own the fact that nothing is wrong, and nothing has to be wrong. Im fine! I might have anxiety and heartburn which is causing discomfort, but thats about it!! so what now!? Loose weight! thats the advice from the doc, and excercise. So! by golly, thats what I will do, and I will be happy and glad to do it. I'll do anything if it means I don't need to be put under again!

so... today... I left the doctors office VERY happy! And yesterday I visited IGA... and left, VERY happy! Ive lately, just been soooooo happy, and sooooo excited for life, and so content in all things, learning a LOT from God and building my relationship with Him, with my husband and with myself. Things are GOOD!

Im excited for Christmas this year! Im extatic to visit Winnipeg to see my sister and brother in laws and my nieces! Im getting my hair cut again tomorrow with some foils too!, so I'll be sexy again! hahahah... Im going to now wrap some Christmas gifts, put up some fun snow flakes and write some Christmas cards! O.. and Ive been fully enjoying my Walmart adventures with my mom this past week! hahaha... Im becoming a very BIG fan of Walmart sales, its perfect for buying gifts to spoil my nieces with! (and soon to be nephew)

LOVES, happiness, smiles and hot cocoa!
Nicole.

this past couple of months have been really stressful again, ive been going through the process with my doctor of trying to figure out why it has been so painful to breathe deeply, and why after certain meals, my chest would just HURT! so... sitting in the doctors office last week, my test results from the ultra sound came in. And?! well, no results that day! GAH! seriously!? i was lectured again in regards to my eating habiats, and was sent home without any real answers. its just been SO confusing these past couple weeks, trying to research and understand whats going on in my body without knowing for sure. And since ive gone through IBS (still am) and the Endometriosis, all effecting what im supposed to eat and not eat, this has begun the all confusing game again of "what to eat and not eat" its just the MOST confusing thing in the whole world to be staring in the fridge and not understanding what to do.... it makes me cry most days! i even told the doc how helpless i feel in this department. he said to eat salads without dressing and no fast food.... FUN! hahhaha... what help! :)

this Friday is when i get to go back, sit down and hear for sure whether or not my test results reveal anything worth discussing.... but last week the doc said that if its gallstones then they won't go away with just diet... but that I HAVE to go on a specific diet regardless to control my symptoms, he said we will address stones when we get the results back but i know what that means... surgery!!!! im not even sure how i feel yet about it.... right now, just confused and helpless and since thats the case, im not doing very well in eating what im being told to eat. im not sure what my problem is... but i did tell cam that this is number three! im just twenty four years old and ive already been through three seperate health issues. this being the third, whatever it is. GAH! it makes me really sad.. yet it makes me really mad at myself too, since gall bladder disease is something that you could theoretically stop yourself. it develops from eating too fatty, not taking care of yourself and if family members have it, you're likly to develop it too.

the doctor once again made it clear that i have to loose weight and finally keep it off. im not sure how to do it this time though... i need to loose quickly again, like i did when i had endo, but im not convinced that SureSlim is the answer this time since i have to stay away from animal fats, cheese and full fat dairy, oils and consume a LOT more veggies and fruit.

im honestly just venting, this blog is more like journal entries... thanks for listening! ill let cha all know whats going on, once im done at the doctors office friday. im nervous.

cheers!

so on monday i went to CBC and it was fabulous to be back! i went into my meeting with Erv with all the positive energy possible. he said that ive completed 73 credits which translates to two complete years of school, and in total i need 129 credits to graduate with the degrees i want. we scheduled out the plan for me graduating and figured out that with just 3 extra credit hours i can actually graduate with both a BA in caregiving/counseling AND a diploma in intercultural studies which is the program i actually started taking at CBC way back in January of 2006. im sooooo thrilled that i can actually leave the school with a degree in ICS as well, its very exciting for me because i hope to be involved in short term missions trips so that type of education is important to me. so when all is said and done, April 2011 i will be walking across the stage in BLUE... then completeing my internship that summer. when i leave CBC i will have a diploma & BA in caregiving & counseling and then a diploma in intercultural studies.

i have been hard core thinking and praying about what is the best possible path for me in regards to a masters degree and the point of time to have children. i think my friends, parents and even cam are humoured by my planning. it just gives me peace to know what the plan is.... to know where im headed and what i want to achieve. im not so calm with the "spontaneous" plan. i feel that finishing a masters degree before children is the best path for me. i will be looking into Trinity Westerns counseling degrees for September 2011... and then would be thrilled if once i graduate with my masters i would be pregnant and ready for family!

my classes this january are going to be HARD! hahahaha... its third year for me so the tough psych classes are coming! where I can't just "wing" it anymore, not that i did all the time anyways.
Adult psychology
Abnormal psychology
Intro to conflict management
Effective teaching (SO SCARED for this class)
World religions

then in late April, after those are done I will be in
Gospel of John
Sexual Ethics
both classes are out the end of April, so they are full time, 5 days a week, like 8 hours a day classes... eeeeekkkk!

Life is looking fantastic these days, and Im preparing the house to go full out Christmas this year! Last year there was the wedding, full time work and the move to Langley by my parents so Christmas was pushed aside by the chaos of life. This year I am SO HAPPY to share that Cam has work up until our Winnipeg trip December 6th, which is the BEST blessing! And so we will both be off work for Christmas, so will my brother Jason... and so far both sets of parents are sticking around BC. So we get a real Christmas this year. And our anniversary, which is coming up FAST, Cam suggested going up to Grouse Mountain for the ice skating and a very romantic dinner. Im excited to make that an anniversary tradition.

well... thats all the fun thats going on lately! Im going to start christmas baking next week! I promised Cam that I wouldn't start the Christmas stuff until November 1st. heehee... and we agreed that the tree can't go up until mid November so I don't go overboard. Mom and I are going Christmas decor shopping tomorrow! hahaha... and I get to see Karen Roeck and Kate today! yipppeeee, and then when the hubbies are off work we're all having dinner together. I can't wait. I think Aaron and Cam are going to hit it off really well.... Its nice to actually go to friends places now with Cam, instead of always having to try to make things work around IGA.

Wow, this is long, and I am thristy!
happy reading...

so im sitting here, watching tv, relaxing and enjoying a very nice glass of rosea wine, which is my favorite... with a little licorice treat. im celebrating the fact that tonight, at 9pm i left the store IGA in my uniform, finishing my last ever shift. and it was definitely bittersweet. i got a boquet of flowers and a card which was super sweet of the girls to put together... and amanda helped me take down the ad, as we talked in the aisles before she left. i got lots of hugs today! which i LOVE and yesterday i almost cried when i said goodbye to whitney and angela.

when i thought of leaving IGA, i only thought about leaving the job. then yesterday happened and i realised, im not just leaving a job... im leaving friendships. its necessary for me to leave. and i know from lots of prayer, that taking these next 9 weeks off before full time school hits, is neccessary too! and vitally important for my health. so...... im taking it in strides, and today, as i stood here infront of my husband, i took a deep breath in and said "im back!"

lately, ive felt like my life has been consumed by only work and i haven't had time to do the things that ive needed to do to foster my abilities, and my gifts. i haven't been to church in over a year in a half!!! can you believe it?? and when what brought you idenity, you're no longer involved in.... when your a christian and your maker gives you your life, and you stop talking to Him.... everything in yourself and life comes crashing down, and you feel so very confused, and so very much NOT like yourself. that is what happened to me. i realised that i allowed myself to be trapped in this very very dark, angry, frustrating place. and finally... ive allowed myself to walk out of that prision and kneel at the cross. im going to Fraserview tomorrow with my family and Cam. To not only see my grandparents but to be joyful in hearing the word. I am extactic to finally get involved again in church.

what else am i extatic about!? the conversation that Cam and I just had recently... about our future, about having children and after im done at CBC, when i will go for a masters degree. its something that Im going to have to decide, and with some counsel from professors who have gone through the same decisions, some long and hard prayer, and a lot more long talks with Cam and probably even my mother, to decide on the fate of my career... a decision will be made. but right now, Im seriously torn. what do i do once CBC is done?! kids!? YES! please! and Cam and I have decided too that once we start we won't finish until we're done for good! so what does that mean exactly!? have one, then wait a year, have another, wait a year, have another wait a year and maybe have a fourth! It will be HARD for a while and I might actually go crazy! heehee, but we're going to have me stay at home full time and be there for our children and live off one income. My plan is... if one is in diapers, then might as well have two in diapers! if one is up at 2 in the morning screaming, might as well have two up in the morning screaming! heehee.... I know, Im crazy... and I know... "once she has her first she will feel differently" ummmm.... I honestly don't think so! hahahahaha....

but then its.... do I go for a masters degree before children (masters takes two years) and then after graduation, have my first baby.... but then I won't pracitce/counsel for like four/five years! or.... I could wait until my youngest is in grade one, go to school full time while my kids are in school and then graduate and start counseling in my mid thirties. The later plan is probably going to be the one I go for.... I have no idea that at that point if I will even be up for it. hahaha, I think so though, I have such a passion for school and educating myself as well as having a career. Its hard though, the passion I have for having children is just a little bit more prominent than my passion to have a counseling career. its a hard decision to make with what passion to follow right away... but because of my Endo, my ovaries aren't "24" they are "31" as my gyno had said, so if I want kids, the younger I have them... the better!

well... this is long and full of my hopes and dreams I guess!
take care y'all, Im going to finish my wine and dig into my licorice! yuuuuuuumy!
xoxoxox

Its bittersweet to me that this saturday is my last day at Marketplace IGA, Im honestly sad to leave some of my co-workers, Ive grown close to Anglea, Whitney, Amanda. These past couple of months have finally felt like home there at the store, unfortunately, things like this never last and it is definitely time for me to move on.

Im excited for my time off! I seriously need it. Im very very eager to start baking, cleaning/organizing our place, paint, see my friends I wasn't able to see before. Im so glad to have my weekends back and especially my Sundays! Cam and I have agreed that we will start attending the free evangelical church in Langley and are happy that friends attend there so it will be easier to become involved.

Also I am EXTATIC to start attending CBC again, I know that like each year, the campus is very very different since the last time I attended. But its going to be AMAZING to be back there. Hanging out with my friends that I miss and attending the classes that I am soooo excited to start studying for! (yep! I am seriously excited to study) Its going to be GOOD.

I can't believe also that last week (the 15th) marked one year since my endometriosis surgery. I have not had to take pills other than the occassional advil for cramps this whole year which is actually amazing for me. I have not had any problems what-so-ever regarding my endo, it is so far... gone for good! and PRAISE GOD for that.

Off to bed for me! Im wiped, made home-made pizza for the hubby and brother tonight. I need to sleep now for day four of five left at work.

wahoooo! I booked my ultrasound for November 3rd! Im thrilled that I can get in so soon, considering most waiting lists for tests Ive been on are like one-three months long. This should be good, and interesting. I did a little "test" today at work, I didn't bring my lunch and ate really high fat food. Like an egg salad sandwhich and chocolate bar, it was yummy! But I wanted to see what would happen afterwards, I mean, according to the doc and what I was reading last night. The pain that Ive been experiencing, if gallbladder pain, should be focused after eating, under my right ribcage and would be throbbing, etc... and YEP! wow it hurt... A LOT! so Im going to try and keep experimenting while waiting for my test, on different kinds of food, mainly meats, dairy products and wheat. And keep a journal and see what I can do... I mean, if it is gallstones and I can control it with diet, that might mean no surgery in the future. If that is even what may happen. I just want to see if I can control it with what I eat.... or, well, not eat.

but yipppeee.... ultra sound in three weeks! :)

AND.... CAM GOT OUT OF JURY DUTY! PRAISE GOD! its such an answer to prayer, so thank you to all who have put in a little "dear God, please..." for us, we appreciate it so much!

smiles and yawns

well.... I went to see my doctor today! I got a refill on my birth control which was much needed, and had a good talk with the doc. Im becoming very impressed with him, he misdiagnosed my endo for so many years so that made me so upset and unwilling to see him. Until all this stuff started to happen.

Anyways, so what went on? I have a form of rosacea its primarily on my left cheek, but it will most likly get worse and spread, depending on how soon I can find creams and oils to control it. My mother has it, and Ive apparently had it for about two/three years but didn't know what it was until it start to seriously flare up due to the hormones in this particular birth control. Thank goodness I caught it now, Im experimenting with creams... it should be interesting. There is no cure or magic cream to get rid of it... but Im okay with having it. My mom has had it all my life, so Ive seen her learn to control it and cover it with make-up so I will too.

what else? good news! my GI Tract test came back completely normal! YIPPEEE!!! so that was a praise to God. But the bad news now, is that Im going in for an ultra sound of my Gallbladder, he thinks that I have Gall stones, and that Im suffering from a combination of Gallbladder attacks and panic/anxiety attacks. So we're going to find out whether or not that is the cause, Ive been researching all day to see if it fits from the info Im finding online, and it does. Perfectly! So, it may mean surgery, but we'll wait to see. Ive found some diets that sound helpful so I will try that out and see what I can do to stop the attacks. They last for hours!

Its funny, my mother also had Gallbladder attacks and Gall stones and had surgery to remove her Gallbladder, so this doesn't scare me at all. I actually will have complete peace if this is the problem cause Ive seen my mother deal with it, I KNOW that I can too... it just means that I need to get smart and take care of myself and do what I need to do to get healthy, cause a sick Gallbladder is NOT fun.

so thats the update! its good and bad news, but I honeslty feel completely at peace with pursuing the possibility of these diagnosis'

thanks to everyone for their prayers during this very confusing and painful time in my life!
loves and smiles :)

just a quick one before Cam and I are off to our date night movie (toy story double feature!) this is a very BIG prayer request, please please please. Im actually not even nervous about it... there is a lot of peace, espeically since Ive previously been worrying about everything and its completely out of my control.

But Cam has been summoned for Jury Duty, he faxed in a letter stating how its going to dramatically hurt us financially which it ABSOLUTELY WILL! so please pray that he is either excused, or else the trial that he is assigned to, if chosen... will be quick.

thanks lots and lots
smiles, and pumpkin smells (i got this wonderful candle thats been burning all day long! yummy)

colie.

ITS OFFICIAL! My last day at IGA is October 24th, Rob asked me what my absolute last day is going to be and well... like Cam and I intended, that shall be the last day. I have very mixed emotions about it. I am very nervous to be on one income, even though I need to step back and allow God and Cam to take care of me financially. But then I am THRILLED to get some time off, I was go go go at school trying to complete what was the worst year I had ever had at CBC in terms of grades, and well personal health issues and the like.
Then Cam and I decided to get engaged, I volunteered to work full time and BAM! Im at IGA right after April of 2008 straight out of full time school. It has been one overwhelming/stressful thing after another. So to stay home and clean, cook, grocery shop (and search for the best deals), take care of my husband but mostly myself. Will be the BEST thing for me right now. I have decided that like before, my passion to try and start painting has resurfaced. Therefore, after purchasing an art kit from Costco (Cam wants me to explore my artistic side again) my desire to try and paint will finally be reality. I also am interested in running, learning to cook better and bake, explore more vegetarian meal ideas. I discovered that while talking to Alissa the other day that I truly just want to be the "typical house wife" at least for now thats what I desire for myself. I still want to complete school and obtain a masters degree so I can work part time, I desire to do that as well, very much so, counselling I mean. But also being able to take care of my home, my husband, eventually children at home... is exactly what I wish for myself.

Right now however, I will finish my three weeks and three shifts. I will take my two months off to find myself again, to heal... and then I will go back to school and finish so I can walk across that stage again in a blue cap and gown!!! yipppeeee.... I know that its all I talk about lately, but seriously, its all thats going on and all Im thinking about. I need to regain a life!

well. Im exhausted and hubby is already in bed, I better join him.

Hugz and Im seriously excited for the rain :)

so!!! I went in for that GI tract test today... and although I looked online for what it might be, it was still kinda awkward. They called my name along with three others and took us into a room with people sitting down on one side, and little change rooms on the right and straight ahead of where we entered the room. Then the "nurse" proceeded to say "you, shirt off.." and hand people gowns, then she came to me... "you, everything off but underwear and shoes" GREAT! thanks, Im the only one that actually had to completely tie up the back of the very awkward hospital gown. O well....

I waited....

then I was called into another room by a gentleman that had such a thick accent I could barely understand what he was saying. He was at least nice enough to repeat himself... I was told to stand on a platform thing which had a strange, tall backing to it and an obvious x-ray machine infront. Then given a pouch of crystal like things to swallow with so little water I was almost choking, I was told not to burp when the purpose of the stuff was to create gas in my stomach! then given another wonderful, white, thick, heavy, chalky, awful glass of something to swallow. ekkkk... it was gross.

The first thing the doc said to me when he came into the room even was "you're too young to have acid reflex", well thanks doc, just take the photos so I can burp already. They took them, and that "tall like backing" moved and made me lie down, where he took more photos. that kinda freaked me out, they took close to like 15 photos. and my doctor gets them on Tuesday. so I guess we will see what turns up. But there was a screen that I could peek at every now and then which showed the doctor in the room what he was taking photos of, Im pretty sure I saw my heart! it was so cool.

it was gross and Im glad its over, but soooo not even worth the smallest worry, surgery was definitely much worse!

**yawn** time for bed
thoughts and prayers
Nicole.

ps. brandon left for Germany this past wednesday and is gone for seven months. he won't even be back for christmas, please pray for him and his safety and that he has the best experience possible at bible school over there. i already miss him :'(

WE ARE GOING TO WINNIPEG! on December 6th - 13th, it was almost a no go, but we looked into some flights and got a pretty good deal!! so we are thrilled, we will get to meet our new niece Ashley and have an early Christmas with family there. We are sad that we won't be able to see Jen, Dan and Addie :'( but thats the next place after Colin & Jessica's wedding for us to save up and visit.

It actually just occured to me the other day that I have family in Winnipeg and Ontario, before it was just "o yah, Cams siblings live an airplane away" now... its finally hitting me that they are my siblings too! and that they live so far away! so now Im sooo excited to visit my sister-in-laws place and be with family, my family, that live outside of BC.

its been a little while since ive posted... but things at work are a lot better, the test file is all back to the way it should be. but angela and i have a lot of telezoning to do to make sure that the store is perfect. my goal is to complete the store before i leave in october (8 weeks and one shift left!!!!!!!).

mom and dad and the brothers came back on thursday, and it was so nice seeing them. actually our weekend was jam packed with fun things. we went out for sushi with jason, mom and dad on friday. and mom brought me back the most BEAUTIFUL Guess purse from california. i have recently found that i am such a sucker for Guess purses, i splurge with my birthday or christmas money! a designer purse is just so much fun and a lot more practical for me considering they last forever and cheap ones only last a season.

then on saturday we went canoeing with cams parents to somewhere in mission. it was fun but ive still been so exhausted lately that i was so tired. but the view and the weather was gorgeous and it was the last available time to do it this summer. hopefully we'll do a better trip next summer with them. but the boat felt like it was going to tip over.
(side note: kort, I took a pregnancy test!!! it was negative, so im not tired cause of that)

sunday we FINALLY went to check out our first church. we're wanting to get involved and actually attend a church, and i am SO excited to finally be able to do that once i leave IGA. i haven't had a home church since i left for CBC back in 2006. thats just unacceptable to me. CBC was my "church" and home until i left for work and got married, now working at 6am every other sunday doesnt allow time for getting involved. plus, we just moved to langely this summer. but we found one we LOVED and that trevor (cams best man) attends with his wife and little son. so we took off to the beach with them for lunch afterwards, their little jayden is adorable. we found out from them that the churches youth pastor is moving back to UK... interesting i thought and gave cam that "you should think about this" look. so prayer for if that position would be in Gods will for cam or not. after the beach we went grocery shopping (my fave) and then out to dinner and bowling with Jared and Katherine and my little bros. its always SO much fun to hang out with Jared and Katherine, we talked lots about their wedding plans and it sounds like this summer is going to be a fun one with their wedding to attend, cams brothers wedding to attend as well. Lots of "i do's" next summer!

monday it was back to work for 6am and now this morning im typing before i take off for work in 45 min. cam is working now irrigation once in a while for a guy named Scotty, it would be VERY appreciated for you guys to pray for us that cam continues to get work. Sue has had a rough summer with getting jobs, so the money we were really counting on to help us through the winter isn't exactly there. i am for sure leaving IGA in october for school in january and some much needed time off before a crazy year and a half in school, im worried but trusting and trying very hard not to go crazy and stress about the potential lack in money flow. i know in my head that God will provide but my heart needs strong reminders. I am thankful though that Sue has hired me on for the spring to work landscaping part time when i get out of school!!! i hope and pray that there will be more work next year, for both cam and i in her company. i am also hoping that she will teach me some of her office work and let me help her out in that way.

well, thats it for now! this week has been busy and this weekend im working file again, MSO! maybe next week will be more exciting :)

so i seriously had the WORST weekend ever! like it doesn't get any worse than this. i got to work, walked up to the office where i have the little file work space, which is now more mine than it was friday (richelle, my file buddy left me and quit **sniff sniff**) so now its just angela and I, and I LOVE her. shes fantastic, shes super sweet and kind and knows all the tricks of the trade which has made my life SO much better and A LOT less stressed.

but anyways, back to yesterday. so there were flowers for me on the desk with the most adorable letter from richelle about how she loved working with me "RICHELLE! I loved working with you too!!!!" then Lee walks up with a million and one things for me to do, so Im thinking "thank goodness I got all my weekend prep stuff done on Thursday" I was also informed that I was short a cashier due to her baby troubles at home.

so all is well, i got what Lee needed done, signs and tickets were hung, life was good aside from my pounding headache. until I scanned a Set For Life ticket and it rang up 1 dollar. "odd" I thought. I went to change it back to 4 dollars and thought maybe someone screwed it up while building it in. No biggie, little did I know, HUGE biggie.

I was called to the deli where four lovely co-workers of mine (no seriously they are great, and I will miss them when I leave) informed me that their cakes and random deli products where scanning in at a dollar... this was the exact moment of complete and utter PANIC!!!! I looked Nakita in the eye and said "SHIT! I don't know how to fix this!" "I have no idea what items are scanning in at a buck and which aren't" Until genious of them to figure out that all the cakes were test items (items not in the computer, that I need to manually add in) turns out that ALL and I mean HUNDREDS of items from every department were ringing in at a dollar.

So... I called Lee, then I called our support, then Lee, then Dave from support called me, then I panic called Angela who didn't pick up... then I finally phoned Rob who was already on his way. He was crazy calm when I was a storm of panic/stress/furry and harsh regret thinking it was all my fault. I literally sat at a table on my break and Nakita came to give me a side hug and invited me out drinking (I didn't go)

Angela finally rescued me at 7:30pm or so that night and came to the store. we are on it with fixing the problem but we have to do it all manually.... its THE WORST! but we're almost all ready there in completely fixing it. so the hubby and I had take-out as well as an attempted calm and relaxing night so I can de-stress because I was sure stressing ALL day yesterday and most of today.

now... BED! i sure need a looooooong sleep before Im up at 5am for books in the morning.

today was such a nice relaxing day, it was weird though cause I just couldn't get enough sleep. I had to keep going back to bed, I had three naps! Mom and Dad are gone with Jason and Brandon to California. Its so weird to have them go on vacation without me. For so long no matter what was going on in my life, I always went with them, they are the most fun to go on vacation with. But this year, its different! New last name, new hubby... Cam and I just can't do it this year considering next summer is going to be packed with trips and all. For Jessica and Colins wedding, SO excited to travel to Winnipeg to spend time with the family. Actually Mikki is having her second, due in two and a half weeks! Im secretly hoping for a boy, so I can spoil a nephew with tonka trucks and nerf guns. But another neice would be so much fun as well, more cabbage patch kids and sparkly glitter.

so this Friday is the count down to ten weeks until I leave IGA. Its seriously bittersweet to leave. I have been SO blessed with that job, the 40 hrs, the pay, the security was/is so wonderful. But school and finishing a BA is much more important to me. I don't want to be an IGA lifer, I have plans, plans that I truly feel directed to complete, plans that I feel more passionate about than I ever thought possible. The file was and is so much fun to do, and now Im trying to get on landscaping with Cams boss Sue for some hours in spring/summer of next year. I have no idea where I will end up with work before a masters is complete. But the journey and trying something new with a LOT more freedom is what I truly need. I can't stand the confinement of shift work, its unreal how it truly takes over your life. I feel like I haven't been able to do anything for the past year and a half. I have felt trapped and thats NOT how I chose to live anymore, counseling will be soooo much more relaxed and freeing when I eventually get there, but also so will landscaping. Sue is AMAZING! the best boss I have known in a long time. She called my brother Brandon to work because the team wanted to take him out to the bar on their lunch break and treat him to a beer for his 19th birthday. What other boss does that? No... seriously!

Well... I have a prayer request if you don't mind. Im not sure if Ive posted much about it, but Ive been feeling sick again. Lots of chest pressure/pain and so I went to the doctor finally, with a lot of concerns about it. My mom told me its probably heart burn, which I agreed. But taking tums does such a huge number on my stomach so I never take them. So, the doctor grilled me with questions... including what I have and haven't been tested for. I was SO impressed because finally it seems like the guy cares. I am being sent for whats called a GI test, at some imaging place in Langely so Im assuming that its going to be a drink that I have to take and then some sort of scan. Its apparently supposed to show whether or not I have an ulcer or some other problem in my esophagus. Only my appointment is September 18th, and I got the appointment a week ago! always so long to wait for these things. I am a little nervous cause I feel like throwing up ALL the time, and Im sure Im not pregnant (whew!) Im also getting my stomach pains back. grrrr.... no cramps though so it cant be endo. Im thinking of going back on my strict no wheat, no sugar thing to see if thats whats doing the damage. Its just SO frustrating, like this stupid sick thing never ends. Please just consider me in your prayers that if something is wrong that it is caught and treated, and if not, than I can just control whatever sensitivity I have with diet.

**yawn** bed time again!
cheers :D
Nicole.

last night was so much fun! cam and i went to his ten year highschool reunion and i had some great talks with some of cams friends wives. one had a five month old son, jullian and he was adorable. it was just so great to spark up conversations with people i have never met but strangely felt completely comfortable with. i might have even been the youngest wife there! heehee. it felt like everyone there was older than me, with a kid, or two. but it was so much fun. one of the wives and i talked about so many personal things, it was crazy! and her friend is going into the same counseling field as i want to go into, so that was interesting!

but yah, so now today cam and i are going to potters because its a 50% off sale! which is super exciting for cam. and then we're going grocery shopping for me! (because Im getting recipies for coconut cream pie and chimichangas) Im making mommy stehr her b-day dinner tomorrow!

going to eat cereal, then we're off!

smiles :)

I am really tired! camping was so much fun, and once I have some more time to post some pictures I definitely will. Cameron, Jason, Brandon and I headed out to Clearwater, specifically Dutch Lake on Wednesday, the 5th and then stayed until today, the 10th. We woke up this morning to rain, rain and more rain! Cam had to jump out of our tent around 3am to prevent a lot of our things from getting wet. We had a sweet set up though with tarps, two picnic tables, two coleman stoves and although we weren't allowed to have a fire, we made the best of it.

Yesterday was full of hot hot sun and a beautiful sky, all the boys got a little bit more red than they wanted. I got really red as well, but ventured into the shade just in time I think. On Saturday night we had a wicked thunder/lightning show. That was soooo nice and fun to watch, under our tarp with hot chocolate and marshmellows. My diet was pretty well thrown out the window, but thats alright. I start back up again tomorrow.

We found the BEST diner type resturant, Greys Inn just across the hwy from our camping site. The food was incredible and very very reasonable. We are keeping that in mind for the next time we're around that area.

As well, I got the BEST phone call from my soon to be sister-in-law Jessica Noel who is Cam's, younger brother Colin's, fiance. She asked me to be one of her bridesmaids! :D and I am SUPER SUPER EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! The wedding is August 14th, 2010.
And Im really thrilled because I should have at least a week/ten days in Winnipeg for Jess and whatever it is she needs help with, hanging out with the family, seeing my new nieces or nephews that should be coming this fall/winter, Michele is due in the fall, Jen in the winter. SOOOO excited for whats in store next summer/next year.

I better get in the shower, and then in bed. Another day off work tomorrow to relax a bit more and then its back to IGA, I should probably call for my hours! heehee.

Blessings and hugz.

My mom text messaged me (we constantly text message, its our "thing") that I had to promise her to check out the http://www.joycemeyers.com/ online tv sermons that you can watch on the website. And so I tried watching a few the other day, and too bad that I had to leave for work cause in that 28 minutes my entire outlook on things changed! Its just that I guess I haven't been focused on the true things in life. Its hard when you feel like you've lost yourself, thats exactly how I've felt lately.

Okay... so enough of my "diary blabbing" whats coming up for us? We are going CAMPING! with the family... well, with my brothers. Mom and Dad can't come cause they are already taking time off for Palm Dessert this August (lucky butts!).

As well, I can officially announce (since I told my boss this morning) that I will be leaving IGA the first week of November and take some time off to visit family, and study my butt off because....... IM GOING BACK TO CBC FULL TIME IN JANUARY! yipppeee.. Im sooooo excited. The plan is also for me to complete my Masters Degree very soon afterwards and study to be a Christian Counselor where I can work pretty well anywhere (church, school, own practice). I will be cramming three semesters hopefully into two, and do some correspondance next summer with a "sister college" of CBC's from Alberta. We'll see how it works out, I still need to complete an internship as well. Its going to be sooo hard, so I definitely need to start doing something in my routine to handle stress.

loves and hugs all!
Nicole

ps. me and the boys went to the Kutless concert on Sunday and it was AWESOME! very upbeat, one of those types that gets you teary.

okay... so since I have some time I can now blog about the past adventures in the lives of well, my hubby and I. Not entirely interesting, but here it goes.

July 1st... it didnt even feel like a stat holiday since that was MOVING DAY! which was wonderful to say the least. Cams best man at the wedding, Trevor came to help out, that was awesome. We also had the help of brother Jason, My parents and Cams parents! wow! karen (my mother in law) also prepared lunch so I wouldn't have to worry about it. It was fantastic! now... just piles upon piles of boxes and I seriously have no motivation right now, its Cam doing all the work.

July 3rd... crunch time to get to Dawson Creek before night fall on the fourth. So what crazy thing do we do? Leave at 3:35am for the looooong drive over there. We arrive at 5:25pm. And you can see the sleeplessness in my eyes, lack of shower, lack of nutrious food... everything in all the photos of that day. We also found out that Nicole + roads that twist & turn + lack of gravol = the need of a puke bucket and serious pill popping. I had no idea I got so sick on road trips like that, I don't remember it as a kid. But... well, now we MUST have gingerale, crackers, gravol, advil, water, food, bucket in order for me to get through it.

July 4th... WEDDING! and Carlene was GORGEOUS! sooo happy that we made it and that we got to see Mike, Anita and Cat again. It was sweet, and fantastic.

July 5th... MY 24TH BIRTHDAY! and another horrible day in the car. At least my hubby treated me to presents in the morning and a Tim Hortons breakfast. We left Dawson Creek that morning at 10:30am ish and arrived in Kelowna for 9:30pm. lots of rain so camping was outta the question even though it was our original plan. Here we are, sad to be leaving Dawson Creek.

July 6th.. we decided to stay one day in Kelowna and saw TRANSFORMERS! for my birthday cause well, I loooooove transformers (thats what growing up with boys will do to ya). It was awesome! so impressed by the film. Then a really nice dinner and a swim in the pool followed by lots and lots of relaxing.

July 7th... on the road again! towards HOME! we got home early afternoon and crashed.

Then a couple days Cam and I had off work together, to just re-adjust to life in our new place and unpack some boxes and try to relax before life started again. We will definitely NOT do that again unless, like Carlene, its someone we truly care for. That was soooo exhausting, what we thought was going to be a nice drive and a nice vacation turned into a tired, sickly mess. We both came away with such horrible headaches, fuzzy/dizzy minds and an aching body along with the ever pressing desire to throw up! And now I have a really bad cough and sore throat. So... we hope next year will free us up financially to do something a little bit more relaxing. Even though Winnipeg is definitely a must

since......

CONGRATS TO CAMS BROTHER COLIN WHO JUST GOT ENGAGED!!!! and to Jessica, who has been pretty well apart of the family since I have. So we are SO GLAD to have them be official and to welcome the new Mrs. Stehr!

loves and blessings to everyone! :)

the Stehrs

hey peeps! so, its been a while, and well... its been exhausting. No worries pictures will come soon of the new place, once the unpacking is done.
We went to Carlenes wedding which was wonderful and beautiful, up in Dawsons Creek!!!!! We are now back, and to our jobs and trying to juggle everything involved with life right now.

so this is going to be just a quick one to let you know that Im still here... that Im loving life, Im stressed and sickly so please pray for me.

Also, please keep my very good friend Alissa Dueck and her family in your prayers, her father recently passed away and it breaks my heart that this incredible family is in such pain.
Love you Alissa, **hugz**

blessings!