getting closer :)

So I haven't really updated anything other than my belly (which is still getting bigger by the way!). Bubba's room is coming along very nicely, we've received and assembled the gliding chair. The storage for clothes and things is done in the closet and we're just trying to figure out shelving. Grandma Stehr (cams mom) has made Bubba's curtains and is finishing his/her baby blanket for the crib. The car seat is out and awaiting a cleaning so it can go into the car this week. My hospital bag is on the dresser awaiting a few more items before its ready to go! And the cradle has been moved from the garage to our living room for Bubba's nap times. Equipped with a mattress, sheet and soft blanket.





Yesterday we had our maternity photo shoot done by a friend of mine who is SO talented and has started her own business.
Check out her website here:
http://www.ellahausphotography.com/
So we are very excited about that! Angela will also be doing our newborn photo shoot when Bubba gets here.

I've been feeling good lately, I am very grateful for an amazing husband, parents, family and a fabulous doula! My doctors are AMAZING! And I can't wait for this little one to make an appearance. Not only do I finally feel ready enough in terms of preparation in our home for Bubba to be here. But I feel ready emotionally to take on the beautiful challenge of labor and birth my child naturally.


SO swollen!!! hands & feet :)

I must say; it is imperative that I keep my mind focused on positivity and my absolute natural ability to labor without meds. I hope and wish that friends and family will continue to support me by agreeing to be positive alongside me. Thank-you!

Happy Easter everyone! We've had a fabulous weekend and look forward to spring and all it has in store!

Until Tuesday :)
N.

35 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 35 weeks! Next week I'll be 9 months pregnant.

Size of baby: large cantaloupe
(19 - 22 inches & 5.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3.2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 21.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly had a really hard time with this number this morning. I've been having a tough time with the whole weight gain process in general. The only explanation other then baby growing is the sudden increase of dairy I've been consuming. I feel the need to do some extra pricking to keep me accountable.

Maternity clothes: nothing new, nothing to update. My jeans are getting uncomfortable so I'm in my tights a lot.

Movement: so much movement! This baby is very very active and I'm now feeling the hiccups on a regular basis which is a lot of fun.

Sleep: some nights it's great, other nights not so much. So it's just depending on my exhaustion level and my heartburn. I'm giving up on the pregnancy pillow most nights and my trick is to massage my feet before bed to try and avoid the spasms.

Cravings: something to drink other than water & raspberry leaf tea. I get carbonated water but it would be nice to have a great glass of wine or juice.

Symptoms: lately I've had huge swollen feet and hands. It's horrible!! (could be contributing to my crazy weight gain). I'm VERY hormonal and quite sad, that's been hard considering I really am happy in life. I'm still nauseous on occasion and just feel REALLY really big at all times. I'm actually measuring 38 weeks but that's partly because Bubba hasn't dropped yet.

Best moment of the week: seeing David & Carley Iwai last night was great! We got our gliding chair delivered today, my taxes are finally done (yes!), we got a couple "to-do's" crossed our list and we fine tuned our baby name choices. So progress is being made and I'm glad for that.

Tonight I need a relaxing warm bath to pray and get things sorted out in my crazy prego mind.

Until next time :)
N.

simply uncomfortable

You know that time in pregnancy where your "baggy" shirts become tight, you feel absolutely enormous and bloated and you're out of breath after just walking up one flight of stairs? Yep! That's where I am about now... It hit me recently like a sack of bricks! Just BAM!

I am definitely looking forward to labor and holding this baby in my arms. I'm ready! Did you hear me Bubba? Mammas ready, so you can come anytime now! But I guess we should wait until full term, so anytime after April 9th okay sweetheart?!

N.

34 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 34 weeks! 8 1/2 months, wow it's gone by so fast.

Size of baby: pineapple (19-22 inches & 4.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I was scared of the scale this morning, I know my belly got bigger (I can just feel it) so naturally I thought I gained big again. Yet, the scale went down a tiny bit! Just by 0.2lbs but that's ok by me. So that's a total gain of 18.6lbs this pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: I keep trying to put new outfits together, my tights are still the BEST!

Movement: babe was moving a lot when I was baking cam cookies this afternoon :) I think Bubba also enjoyed my raspberry leaf tea this morning! (and yes I got the go ahead from my dula to drink the tea)

Sleep: it's still a struggle for me to get a full nights sleep but I'm surviving and allowing myself to just be lazy on days that I need it (like today) without any guilt. Also, Zantac is AWESOME!

Cravings: I still want candy, ice-cream & all the Easter goodies that are out. Especially paska! Mmmmmmm..... paska!

Symptoms: legs that spaz, Braxton hicks, cramps... you know, the usual third trimester stuff. It's ok though because soon I'll have my gorgeous babe in my arms.

Best moment of the week: I'm honestly not sure, I had some great days spent with my mom this week. Cam and I went to ikea and bought stuff for the house to make it feel more like home. I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in a while which was SO fun! Things are going great, I'm really happy! & I'm really excited!

Happy Tuesday!
N.

33 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 33 weeks!

Size of baby: honey dew
(19 inches & 4 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 18.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly FREAKED! That's a big gain and I had no idea why until it dawned on me that I've been eating extra everyday cause Bubba is pushing up on my stomach causing me some serious heartburn and nausea. I've been eating to try and make the uncomfortable feeling go away. I'm going to definitely be tracking my food intake again to make sure I don't jump that next time.

Maternity clothes: nothing new, I checked a couple stores today but just felt like I couldn't make any decisions so I left it. I need nursing bras but will wait until I'm 36-37 weeks before I get a few.


Movement: so much movement! This baby is very active and I LOVE it :)

Sleep: I feel really tired a lot of the time so I must be waking up often during the night. The heartburn really gets me at night but the doc today told me to start taking Zantac twice a day, so I'm starting that tomorrow.

Cravings: Cam made cookies again a couple days ago, need I say more?

Symptoms: the heartburn and nausea is the worst right now. I'm still struggling to keep my eating under control so that my sugar readings stay low. And my legs freak out on a regular basis, that's the worst when I just want to sleep or relax on the couch.

Best moment of the week: meeting with Kortney (our dula) and going over a bunch of stuff concerning the labor and what I can expect will/might happen.


This pic was taken in the elevator on our way to see Kortney! Cam took it and he was pretty excited about it! Can you see him??

Until next time :)
N.

I can do it!

Tonight I'm seeing my dula and I'm very excited about it! I'm really fortunate to have a dula who is also my friend. She's been a friend since early high school, I never thought (back then) that she'd be present with me at the birth of my first child. But I am incredibly thankful that she will be. I feel very strongly that I'll need the extra support and just knowing that I'll have a team helps my anxieties.

Now that I'm at 32 weeks pregnant the reality that labor is on its way has really started to sink in. I'm beginning to understand that it has a lot to do with ones mentality. That if I believe I can do it and make it through then I will. If I believe that my body has been created to do this, then I can put my trust in my natural abilities. I haven't done Lamaze or yoga, I didn't want to (in all honesty). Prayer has always been my source of strength, no matter my circumstance I have prayed through everything. I know I can search within and pray through this experience as well. And with the guidance of my dula I can figure out what will work for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that prayer won't make my pain magically go away. I also don't believe that God will suddenly make things easier, even if I beg. But I believe that it'll be what helps me focus and for me that's what matters.

At this time however, I feel very unprepared for labor and I'm not sure why. If it started today I may start freaking out!! Maybe it's because I keep coming across in my researching/reading how women should be going to Lamaze, yoga and practice breathing techniques but I haven't done any of that. Maybe it's because I'm nervous, I know it's going to hurt and I want to do it all without drugs but I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I remember my menstrual cramps before my surgery, they HURT! BAD! And I'm expecting labor to basically be like that, but with the end result of pushing out a baby. I know I'll need lots of encouragement and positive feedback to succeed and not crumble under the pain.

So maybe I should just start saying "I can do it!" "I can deliver Bubba!" "I have the ability to birth my baby" "I believe that I have the strength" "I'm capable!"

Because I am!

N.

32 weeks pregnant!

Technically this photo was taken yesterday but I really liked what I was wearing so I took a picture!

How far along: 32 weeks pregnant! That's EIGHT months!

Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18.5 inches & 3.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale finally went up again, 2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 15.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl! Seems as though the dietician I need to see for my diabetes is ALWAYS more concerned about my weight than my doctor and I. It's rather frustrating since I'm doing my best and by golly I thought I was doing quite well! I'm really not all that worried about it.

Maternity clothes: I bought pregnancy tights... they are THE BEST EVER!!! Every pregnant woman needs pregnancy tights & pregnancy underwear, they are equally amazing!

Movement: lots of movement, it's "violent" movements too! Not just pretty fluttering/rolling type sensations anymore. My belly moves around and I can feel that there is an actual baby in there.

Sleep: did you know that pregnancy insomnia is an actual thing that affects 70% of pregnant women? Yah, neither did I until I stopped falling asleep at night because my leg started freaking out and my heartburn went crazy out of control. Then once I do finally get to sleep I inevitably wake up an hour after to pee!

Cravings: Cam made cookies last week, so now when I'm home at lunch all I think about is chocolate chip cookies. And 5 cent candies, I REALLY want candy!

Symptoms: my diabetes machine is apparently fine and after I started paying much closer attention to the way I was handling how I pricked, my numbers went significantly down!! Therefore, my doc said I can prick less!!!! Like every OTHER day! So I'm much better with what I'm eating, when I'm eating and how much. Plus, I'm walking every single day for like a hour.

Best moment of the week: my amazing bible study friends threw me a baby shower last night! We chatted about a whole bunch of baby stuff, ate great food, they gave me amazing gifts and crowded around me to pray! I felt incredibly loved and blessed! THANK-you :)

*yawn* I'm tired, nap time!
N.

31 weeks pregnant!

Just one photo this week! I liked this one the best :)

How far along: 31 weeks pregnant!

Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18 inches & 3.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: once again, no change this week! so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: my lovely friend Karen who had a baby boy recently (congrats again!) let me borrow a bunch of her maternity clothes! THANK-YOU!

Movement: I am absolutely loving the movement, it's so strong! Bubba's even taken to shoving its bum into my diaphragm causing pain at times (yippee!).

Sleep: I DESPISE PREGNANCY PILLOWS!! And yes, ALL of them! My chiropractor says I need one and I can tell the difference in my back pain when I say F**K it at night and don't sleep with one but it's waking me up all the time cause I like moving around. Also I'm getting heartburn the moment I lay flat in bed... which is awesome! lol.

Cravings: Mexican food... Mmmm, burritos!!! And 5 cent candies, the sugary kind. I want candy SO BAD!

Symptoms: diabetes SUCKS!!! but I think I'm doing it wrong or my machine is messed up. I'm getting high numbers but then I'll check again right away and I'll get a different number (like 0.5 less or more) right afterwards. SO frustrating and I'm feeling on & off crappy about it. I do NOT want to go on insulin.

Best moment of the week: meeting my friend Karens new baby boy Ben and thinking to myself "I know I can do this!". Also when my fabulous friend Alissa called me and I bawled on the phone with her about diabetes stuff. She calmed me down and educated me! And cant forget that Cams been a sweet heart with my crazy cleaning/nesting madness :)

Ok, gotta run! Registered at the hospital today! :)
N.

Who are you Bubba??

As I approach 31 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) I'm starting to understand how these crazy hormones are affecting my thoughts, feelings, emotions and perceptions on everything!! It's been a lot easier to recently identify what's "me" and what's "hormonal". I hope that continues after Bubba's born, I've heard how overwhelming post baby hormones can be. While at church yesterday I had this picture in my mind during worship of me sitting in the hospital bed holding my new baby, staring into its eyes and I just about lost it! I can't believe how close that day actually is.

I'm starting to get REALLY curious as to who this little baby is growing inside of me. Is it a boy? A girl? What name will we end up choosing? Will he/she have blonde hair? Darker hair? Blue eyes like Cam or green eyes like me? Will baby be active or calm? Colic or not? Tall? Short? What will he/she like? Not like? My goodness it's endless the possibilities of who this child is!

Who will it look like? Or will he/she be the perfect mixture of us both? When I close my eyes to try and picture Bubba it's not clear because I truly have no clue. I was so sure at the beginning that Bubba is a boy but now... I have NO guess! No "feeling", no clue! Only Leigh-Ann knows for sure :)

9 more weeks to go! Then at least some of these questions will be answered!!

Bubba sweetie, I can't wait to hold you!
N.

Wait a minute... I'm having a baby!!!

As I sit here in bed with my nettle tea, left leg spazzing, lower back hurting and strong Bubba movements I realize the plainly obvious fact that I AM HAVING A BABY! This kid can come out at any time and have a very strong chance of making it. Therefore, I'm a mommy! I, me, Nicole Elisabeth is Bubba's momma. WOW! HOLY CRAP! When/how did that happen? (don't answer that, I know how! 😉).

I know this sounds ridiculous, I mean I've chosen every action, every decision that got me to this point in my life and I am THRILLED, but I can't help but also feel crazy overwhelmed. It's not like life eases you into parenthood, it's BAM! Here's your son or daughter, congrats!!! By the way... good luck! have fun! you'll figure it out (with very little sleep). Yah! I have friends with kids, I see/hear what they go through. I'm not naive.

But then again I knew that if I went through life without even trying to have a child and doing the mom thing then I'd regret it. I knew that I absolutely love my job and investing in the lives of children, it's my calling. So having babies just made sense. But having a plan, and planning for that plan and talking about the plan is SO different than living it! You experience so many more anxieties, fears, inadequacies, when living it.

So what am I doing? I'm praying! It's always my "go to" I know that God will be there to offer peace and comfort. Even if you don't believe that, I do and it gives me an incredible strength and peace. I also go to Cam and share my thoughts. Just today he reassured me how normal all this is... it's OK to feel overwhelmed and emotional. I love him! He also told me that my stretch marks are beauty marks! SO SWEET!

So I'll continue to pray, to accept that this is a normal part of the process. And as things continue to become more and more real (like the crib getting set up, my belly getting bigger, saying goodbye at work) I'll breathe and believe that I'll rock it! The labour/delivery thing and of course the motherhood thing cause I'm more than capable of being a fantastic mother. Even if right at the moment it scares the crazy out of me!

N.

30 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 30 weeks pregnant! Let the 10 week countdown begin :)

Size of baby: butternut squash
(17 inches & 3.1 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: wahoo! No change this week, so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: I REALLY want to buy something new! :) We're doing a maternity shoot in March and I want to get a new outfit for it... maybe I'll get that dress at Old Navy that I really liked!

Movement: SO much movement! This babe is active :) my belly had obvious waves going on last night at bible study

Sleep: since I have no more work stress sleep has been wonderful! Bubba likes to be most active at night so it's fun to fall asleep to the movements :)


Cravings: I've had a serious McDonalds craving for weeks now! Just might have to give in to get rid of it.

Symptoms: heartburn SUCKS! But since I'm no longer "cross-cross applesauce", squatting eye level, picking up toys, cleaning child size tables & spaces, sitting in the nap room or picking up children all day long my back/hip/sciatic aren't as sore. It's AWESOME!


Best moment of the week: saying good-bye to everyone at work, it was so hard but I felt so loved and appreciated! Thank-you :)

Happy Tuesday!
N.

good-bye work, it's been fun!

This Friday is my last day at work before Bubba is born. It's really surreal to me that I'll be at home after one and a half days left (I'm only working a half day tomorrow). WOW! It went by so fast and I'm going to miss those kids so much! I've spent so much time with them since September and now the babe inside of me needs me off my feet and healthy. So the best choice is to listen to my doctor and go off work.

I've had an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family, co-workers and parents at work. THANK-YOU! It really made me feel down right sad and depressed when I realized I couldn't work any longer due to pregnancy complications. But after a lot of encouraging words, I've been able to see that I've just got to do what needs to be done and that's growing a healthy baby! Who knew making a human would be so hard? :)

So here is my TO DO list for my days at home after Friday:

1. Go through my boxes I still have packed from our move 1 1/2 years ago!

2. Organize my kitchen cupboards so that my kitchen is much more functional and clean!

3. Go through my closet, apparently Cam insists that the mess in there is mine (yah, right!)

4. Plan out and prepare freezer meals to get Cam and I through the first weeks when Bubba arrives. This way we eat well and don't have to worry about groceries or money used to eat out. Also, clean out deep freezer.

5. Go through living room hutch and transfer ECE stuff into bins for storage.

6. Do taxes

7. Re-do our budget/spending/saving

8. Create a cleaning schedule to keep on top of the gross mess that will accumulate in here. Do a deep clean first!

9. Look for, choose, order prints and pick frames for pictures to be hung around our home... FINALLY! Also secure dates for our maternity photo shoot and newborn photo shoot.

10. Read everything Kortney passes my way in terms of labour and delivery and newborns! Watch the movie "the business of being born"

11. Register at the hospital and schedule a tour

12. Get "padsicles" ready, pack my hospital bag, shop for things I want with me at the hospital, research what I'll need for the hospital.

13. Pick out Bubba's "coming home" outfit!!!

14. Finish Bubba's room

15. Take frequent naps, rest like crazy, read, walk, spend quality time with Cam, enjoy babes movements and get a name list together!!!!

Of course I'll be taking it easy, I'll be focusing on nothing else but this baby and getting ready for the most incredible blessing of my life! So goodbye work, I'll miss you for sure but I'm ready to be home and await my baby :)

N.

29 weeks pregnant :)

How far along: 29 weeks! WOW!

Size of baby: small cabbage
(17 inches & 2.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: this weigh in was rough! I blame the great meal I had last night at my dads birthday dinner :) I'm up 2.2lbs this week, so total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :) I just might use my Christmas money after my appointment Thursday.

Movement: lots and lots! And very strong, I'm going to miss it once babe comes out.

Sleep: it's hit and miss these days. Last night I hardly slept, heartburn has crept back which attacks me in the middle of the night. Thank goodness I still have an ample supply of Zantac on hand :)


Cravings: everything my diabetes tells me I shouldn't be eating. NOT fun, I haven't had the greatest blood sugar numbers lately :( really nervous about that for my Thursday appointment.

Symptoms: same old same old, although heartburn and exhaustion are back. Also my hips, siatic and lower back HURT! I can't wait to get that massage that was ordered by my doctor!

Best moment of the week: when a girl at work while saying goodbye told me she wanted to hug my baby and then hugged my baby belly. I'm going to miss these kids SO much!

Happy Tuesday!
N.

Bubba's room!

Would you like to take a peek into Bubba's room?!


Bubba's room is coming together quite quickly these past few weeks. We've got the crib in so the office is now moved to the storage room (which Cam has proclaimed his "man cave") and the dresser has been painted (take a look at the pic below). Can you believe that the crib came from a garage sale that Cams parents found and repurposed? And the dresser was made by my grandfather, Cam just spruced it up!


This green was SO hard for me to commit to, it's gorgeous now that I see it done. I love it! And believe boy or girl, we can make it work with whatever else we bring into the room. We still want a glider chair that can be moved to our living room later when I'm done nursing. It would be nice to put down an area rug but it's not something essential for before Bubba's born. We'll put up shelving to store the cloth diapers (probably something from ikea) above the dresser so I can use the top as a change table.


Like our fabric choice? It sure pays to have a mother in law who sews and is willing to share her talents. I loooove this fabric! It'll be used to make bedding and curtains! I'll post again when the room is all done, put together and waiting for Bubbas arrival. I can't wait :)

We've got so much more done than we both realized. Walking through the baby store today our wish list was smaller than we thought it'd be! If you're interested in what we're looking for, here it is:

* ergo baby carrier
* woven wrap carrier
* gliding chair
* travel booster seat
* basic baby monitor
* avent bottles & accessories (my pump is an avent manual)
* bathing tub
* nursing accessories (like nursing pads, cream, etc...)
* pacifiers (Cam specifically wants some Canuck ones)
* grooming/health kit (thermometer, nail clippers, nasal aspirator, etc...)
* child proofing kit
* disposable diapers & wipes (to get us through the first few weeks)
* swaddling blankets
* receiving blankets
* burp cloths
* clothes, sleepers, onesies (3+ month sizes)
* crib sheets
* humidifier
* dishwasher infant basket (for all the little baby things that need sanitization)
* baby/infant toys
* board books
* bibs
* privacy nursing thingy
* our cloth diaper preferred brand is Tender Tushies if you feel inclined to buy us more!
* gift cards to Motherhood or other maternity stores so I can get nursing tops & bras would be AMAZING!
* ANY gift cards for baby stores like babies R us, Carter's or children's place would be accepted with much enthusiasm!

I'm sure there are more little things that'd be nice but this is our wish list. Not that we expect anything from anyone but we've had a few friends ask and so I thought I'd post it here. It's for myself too! This way I know exactly what we still need/want :)

29 weeks tomorrow!!!!
N.

Stretch marks

I don't think it would have mattered how much I psyched myself out for the daily body changes happening this pregnancy. The moment I saw that first tiny red stretch mark on my belly, I was heartbroken. I pouted, I made Cam promise me he'd still love me no matter how ugly my belly would be after Bubba exits it. I was having a moment of complete sadness, believing that I would never be confident in my body ever again. I was picturing a saggy, red marked, wrinkled mess. It freaked me out!!

Then I took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and realized that the baby growing in this belly is FAR more important than the marks made to bring him/her here. That the belly that's left after the labour process is done is one to be worn proudly, and I have the power to change it with sweat and determination.

I can say for certain that the hormones of this third trimester are impacting me in a very dramatic way! There are more tears, more emotion, less energy, much more intense physical pain and a very obvious BIG baby belly that just keeps growing (and stretching!).

My endo scars have become the source of the stretch marks, the very marks that helped Bubba come to be are stretching to accommodate his/her home. I guess it's just all apart of the process. I know it's going to be worth it, and I'm more than proud of my achievements thus far this pregnancy; keeping my weight gain in check, exercising often, working full time. I'm going to be okay, my body will still be beautiful and my belly will carry addition marks that I will choose to carry proudly! :)

N.

28 weeks pregnant, 3rd trimester... FINALLY!

How far along: 28 weeks! 3rd trimester is here!!

Size of baby: head of cauliflower (16 inches & 2.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: since my weeks change over on Tuesdays now I weigh in Tuesday mornings. Gained for the first time in three weeks! Up one pound, total gain of 11.6 pounds so far.

Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :)

Movement: it's definitely getting stronger and stronger as the days and weeks go by. When Bubba moves you can actually see my stomach move around which is amazing! Cam & my mom have seen it, I love watching it! Bubba also moves A LOT around 10pm, which is when I'm usually going to bed.

Sleep: getting out of bed every 2-3 hours to pee sucks and hurts :( but it's okay, I get back in bed and back to sleep quite quickly which is really nice!

Cravings: I'm probably a bit too brave with my gestational diabetes meals. I want McDonalds SO bad right now and I'm "testing" my sugar readings to see if I can get away with having a full banana at breakfast or a small bowl of ice cream after dinner :)

Symptoms: stretch marks :'( this one has been harder than I thought to cope with. I'm really terrified that my tummy with be HIDEOUS after the delivery. But I guess that is something I need to come to terms with, that I will probably look different but that it's okay. Other than that I'm still having siatic pain, hip and lower back pain and getting generally worn down. Also, REALLY emotional. I had a crying episode twice on the weekend, one in the middle of the night Saturday night for a couple hours and the other on Sunday morning and a bit at church. I'm sure that'll continue to happen! (poor Cam!). Leg cramps this morning too and swollen hands and feet are starting... Wearing my rings in my necklace now for just in case :)

Best moment of the week: going to my new maternity clinic and feeling AWESOME there! Having things sorted out that should have been taken care of and getting off thyroid pills I should have never been taking.


Happy Tuesday everyone! :)
N.

27 weeks pregnant (still)

I felt like I should update, for my own "records" but just in case you're interested too :)

Today was my very first appointment with the Community Birth Program at the Jim Pattison surgical centre with my incredible new doctor. She was great! The appointments are longer (45 minutes), more personable, I even sat on a couch and got checked on the couch rather than on a cold table. I felt taken care of, listened to and given information I was waiting for (regarding hospital registration). It was GREAT!

So a few updates:
1. I lost weight again this week (weird) that puts me back down to a total gain of 10.6lbs. Dr. Weiler told me she's going to monitor that and to STOP losing weight. That's the first time a doctor has said that so far. My weight gain has been great she said! YAY!

2. Bubba's due date changed!!! It probably should have changed back in October after my dating ultrasound in late September. When there is a discrepancy of 5 plus days between the given due date and the dating ultrasound then you're supposed to change the due date. The other clinic never changed it, my new clinic has! New due date: April 30th.

3. I'm measuring 29 weeks, even though I'm now at 27 weeks today. If I measure 3 weeks ahead at the next appointment then I'll be sent for another ultrasound (so I might see you again Leigh Ann).

4. My thyroid blood work shows that I'm hardly hypothyroid. Dr. Weiler said she would have sent me for another blood test before putting me on meds (go figure). But because I'm already on the meds, I should keep it up, so I am. She also said I'm JUST a gestational diabetic so she might not have even bothered referring me if I had been seeing her (again, go figure).

mmmm.... my diabetic chocolate collection (they're SO good!).


My sugars have been GREAT! I really don't think I'm diabetic. But oh well, if this whole process only helps me be healthier then that can't be a bad thing.

Oh, one last thing: the new clinic was horrified when I expressed to them how I was treated on the phone when I called the other clinic last Thursday. They are going to talk to someone about it and make it known to the people that matter how I felt and what happened. I feel so loved and so glad that they're taking the initiative to speak up for me! It's awesome! :)

Okay...I'm starving, time to eat...
Have a fantastic night, and I'll be updating Tuesdays from now on!
N.

Just to clarify...

I really hope that I'm not giving the impression that diabetes is horrible and the end all. Because it absolutely is not!! I do not want anyone to assume that I'm some complainer that can't deal with the reality of my situation because that's not the case either. I've always been the individual who processed best by talking and sharing, this has just been me processing.

And through this stage of accepting what's going on it's been really great to have friends and co-workers come to me with stories of their experiences with gestational diabetes. It honestly helps me to feel like I have some serious support (and I know that I do)!

So why has this process been so emotional for me? Because my family has a long history with diabetes. Especially with my moms mother, Linda Wittrien, who I loved and adored but was sick the entire time I knew her. I do not have a memory of my beloved Oma without her being morbidly obese, pricking her fingers, injecting insulin, taking a cocktail of meds, and more. What was she sick with? Well, a lot I think! But most obviously she had type 2 diabetes and heart disease, but a stroke is what actually killed her.

Unfortunately, my body seems to be quite similar to hers. I'm SO sensitive to so much and I have such a hard time processing (and accepting) what to do about it on a regular basis. Now please don't misunderstand me, I know I'm not my Oma. I try hard to not walk in her foot steps, I'm just recognizing the similarities and its troublesome at times. Telling my mom about my gestational diabetes (who watched her mom slowly die from the decisions she made) went through the same emotional process I went through regarding my diabetes diagnosis. She cried, I cried too.

But just because this is happening doesn't mean I'll get type 2 diabetes. It does NOT mean I'll go through the same experiences my grandmother did. Just because my Oma lived and died a certain way doesn't mean I will live and die the same way. She made her decisions and I'll make mine. I get to have my own life, I can't change my genetics, my sensitivities, the way my body works. BUT I can control the way I live and care for my body, especially now with Bubba taking residence inside It. I'm learning, I'm still processing, I'm trying my best. Like my incredibly wise dula said, it's just a bump along the way. And it is just that!

Thanks for the support!
N.

my baby, my body, MY choice!

I couldn't believe the experience I had today while calling the prenatal clinic I had been seeing to cancel my afternoon appointment and inform them I'm transferring my care to a different maternity clinic.

For weeks now I haven't been able to shake the thought that I should see my family practitioner and ask about my prenatal care options. I finally took the initiative and called, I saw her today and was reminded of why I liked her so much the last time I saw her. Too bad she was on vacation when I got pregnant in the summer. If she had been then I wouldn't of gone through what I did.

An earful of "why's" "come in & talk to the doctor" " we aren't releasing your information" "you're OUR patient and not theirs". There was no attempt at kindness, just rude and crude. I was stunned, shocked, hurt and very upset. Thank goodness my new clinic (who I called after in tears) said to not go in to explain myself and that it's my body and my decision and not to worry or stress. They'll work around the info they can get elsewhere without the release of my file from the other clinic. Phew!

So here I sit on my couch relaxed (finally!) when I am "supposed" to be in a prenatal appointment right now at the crazy mean clinic. I'm grateful I listened to my instincts, I'm upset that someone tried to dictate to me my right to choose who I want to care for me through the rest of my pregnancy. It's MY body, MY baby and MY right to choose.

This new clinic is all about natural birth, with only 6 doctors which include 3 midwives. I'm able to have Kortney as my very own dula still (which my doctor supports). I know this doctor well, I'll see her at every appointment (no more not knowing which doctor I'll see) and I'll still deliver at surrey memorial. She's so understanding about what I do for work and that I'll probably need some medical leave before maternity leave. We talked about my gestational diabetes and she ACTUALLY LISTENED TO ME! I'm SO glad that I'm making this switch.

So women in my position who feel like something just isn't right about your prenatal care. Take it from me, it's YOUR body, YOUR baby and YOUR choice to change care at any time without explanation.

I'm determined now more than ever to listen to MY intuitions and instincts. As the nice receptionist at the new clinic said to me over the phone, "you're going to be a mommy, it's YOUR body and YOUR choice!"

N.

27 weeks pregnant! Last week of my 2nd trimester!

How far along: 27 weeks!

Size of baby: cucumber (15 inches & 2.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I guess there's a positive (among others) in having to watch what I eat. I lost 0.4lbs this week which brings me back down to a 11.6 pound gain in total so far.

Maternity clothes: I'm not sure that there's anything to update in this category. I'm getting bored with what I've got but I'm not willing to go out and buy more right now.


Movement: I can now see my belly moving around!!! It's amazing, I could watch it all day long! I hope to sit Cam down and make him experience it with me soon.

Sleep: still struggling with getting up all the time to pee (SO annoying!). Otherwise, I'm doing the same as last week.

Cravings: haha, I would love to have pizza but won't until I understand more about this diabetic stuff. I'm eating much more fruit, veggies and cut way back on carbs so cravings aren't so overwhelming anymore and I don't need Zantac anymore either. No more heart burn!

Symptoms: the most frequent one that's bothering me the most is my hip and siatic pain. Im hoping that a belly band and my new ordered exercise will help it.


Best moment of the week: ummm... the doctor who broke the news of my gestational diabetes and hypo thyroid was SUPER sweet and I've decided to take the positive from it all. So it could have been a bad moment for me, but it really wasn't. This Friday I get to go to the class and learn what to do. I'm starting to see how much this will help me. That makes me really grateful.

Happy Wednesday everyone! :)
N.