And through this stage of accepting what's going on it's been really great to have friends and co-workers come to me with stories of their experiences with gestational diabetes. It honestly helps me to feel like I have some serious support (and I know that I do)!
So why has this process been so emotional for me? Because my family has a long history with diabetes. Especially with my moms mother, Linda Wittrien, who I loved and adored but was sick the entire time I knew her. I do not have a memory of my beloved Oma without her being morbidly obese, pricking her fingers, injecting insulin, taking a cocktail of meds, and more. What was she sick with? Well, a lot I think! But most obviously she had type 2 diabetes and heart disease, but a stroke is what actually killed her.
Unfortunately, my body seems to be quite similar to hers. I'm SO sensitive to so much and I have such a hard time processing (and accepting) what to do about it on a regular basis. Now please don't misunderstand me, I know I'm not my Oma. I try hard to not walk in her foot steps, I'm just recognizing the similarities and its troublesome at times. Telling my mom about my gestational diabetes (who watched her mom slowly die from the decisions she made) went through the same emotional process I went through regarding my diabetes diagnosis. She cried, I cried too.
But just because this is happening doesn't mean I'll get type 2 diabetes. It does NOT mean I'll go through the same experiences my grandmother did. Just because my Oma lived and died a certain way doesn't mean I will live and die the same way. She made her decisions and I'll make mine. I get to have my own life, I can't change my genetics, my sensitivities, the way my body works. BUT I can control the way I live and care for my body, especially now with Bubba taking residence inside It. I'm learning, I'm still processing, I'm trying my best. Like my incredibly wise dula said, it's just a bump along the way. And it is just that!
Thanks for the support!
N.
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