Getting to the bottom of it

This whole experience has proven to be overwhelming, Cam says it best when he describes it as surviving. I've been told my milk is low, then it's a dairy problem in my diet, a reflux issue in Edi, there's the need to supplement but then he doesn't take it. We did formula too ups for four days with horrible side affects, worse than the actual spit up problem we've been dealing with. It's been a whirlwind of this and that and the other. It's been hard to sift through the advice of the professionals and my friends, everyone trying to help us figure this out. Even my chiropractor said that Edison is one of the most complicated cases he's come across.

So what's going on? Edison spits up, A LOT! It's not projectile vomit but there have been mornings where he spits up while I'm changing him up to three-four times and I'm wiping him down trying to get him clean again. We had to bathe him every day last week cause he stunk so much like sour milk and had explosive soft peanut butter like poops that oozed everywhere (it was nasty!). He's been screaming too, like hysterical crying and won't latch to eat, won't take a bottle, he goes stiff as a board and puts his arm up by his ear and grabs it and pulls. When he gets to that point it's heart breaking and we just scoop him up to comfort him but it's almost like no matter what we do he isn't comforted. We've tried gripe water, ovol, warm baths (which he loves), bicycle legs and keeping him upright after he eats (which seems to be helping).

Edison also doesn't eat very well, he's a lazy eater and takes forever to take in just a couple ounces. We know he only eats about two ounces off me because we've taken him to the nurse who had weighed him before and after a feed. Even if he takes the top up bottle he'll take a good 15-20 minutes to eat it. And then he spits up every time afterwards so an hour or two after he eats he'll cry to eat again. I know that he needs 3-4 ounces right now at each feed but since he only eats about 2 ounces off me and sometimes takes his top ups and then spits up about 2-3 times afterwards I know he's definitely not eating enough. But is this ok?! His weight gain I think is getting closer to where it's supposed to be right now but what about later on when he's bigger?

I'm on meds to increase my milk and the fenugreek, I pump after he eats as much as I can and I'm trying to figure out how to comfort him without latching him. Because there are days when all he wants is to be latched onto me all day long. The lactation specialist said that being latched on me is obviously his comfort place and therefore him wanting to be there a lot may mean he's uncomfortable, that something's bothering him. And so his being latched so often suckling and lazy eating hasn't given my boobs the opportunity to empty so my brain isn't telling my breasts that Edi needs more milk so my supply is getting low. But Edison may be eating so little so often because of reflux, but then does he really have reflux or am I seeing things that aren't really there? Am I over reacting? Is this really a problem or am I making it out to be one? Am I remembering things right or seeing things that are not there because of my serious lack of sleep? I'm just so confused!

So what should I do? I'm seeing my doc for Edison today, the lactation consultant I saw said she'd call my doc to tell him about what she is concerned about after seeing us. I hope that if there is something going on then we get to the bottom of it. At first it was my milk production and then after pursuing that it's turned into a quest to see what's going on with Edison (if anything at all). I just want to enjoy this journey with my son and not miss a moment. I want to breastfeed SO BADLY for as long as possible. I want the moments of smiles and coos to increase while the spit ups, tears and gas bubbles decrease.

I hope things turn around soon,
N.