Today at the lunch table here at CBC was such a confirmation of what God has established in my life, there was such encouragment, it makes me thrilled that the vision God has given me for what he wants me to do, or take the steps to do is shared by others as well. I was expressing my desire of doing purity and beauty seminars around BC for young girls as what I want to do after graduation, and the basis as to why I switched my major.
Laurie was so encouraging and such a blessing, she was confirming that one of her wants in life is to do the same thing...she was sooooo excited and kept saying how excited she is for me to do that and have the same vision.

I dont know what is going to happen... I am very much trusting that God has it all taken care of. But the excitement and the reality of the task is overwhelming... I know that I am not expected to do it all on my own. God is doing to amazing things!
PRAISE GOD!

Blessings! :)

ITS OFFICIAL!!!
I am as of now...

in the Care Giving and Counselling major here at CBC! :)

yippeeee...
Im excited.

Be Blessed! :)

well... it has been decided!
for the past six months I have been doubtful with whether or not missions and the intercultural studies program at CBC is right for me and what God has planned for my future. The thought of leaving home for eight months, and graduating with a BA which is meant for someone doing long term missions work, didnt seem right, nor something that made any sence.
The vision given to me from God has been with working in a youth group setting with young girls, grades 6-12. I want to run purity seminars and beauty seminars, fighting the North American media with Gods word and truth for the lives of these girls.
So.... what does this mean school wise??
I will be changing my major.
Instead of intercultural studies, I am now going into Care Giving and Counselling.
I want to be a counsellor for these young girls who are struggling with self image, puity, sexual immorality and pre-marrital sex, healing with struggle in eating disorders and an inability to take care of ones self.
This is my news!

it may come as a shock and surprise, believe me, I was surprised as well once I seriously sat down with God and asked him what HE wanted me to do with my life for his kingdom. But the vision is strong... its kinda scary, but I know that I can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength"
I will be graduating with a BA in care giving and counselling which could transfer credits for more schooling to get my masters if I choose.

missions is still a huge part of my life and heart. I want to continue taking part in short term missions trips with CBC and my church, but it will no longer be my main focus. A counselling degree can be used in the youth group setting and missions setting as well. It is the tool that I will use to do the best ministry I can through Christ who guides me...

so... my life looks completely different.
no more internship.... and maybe the need for one more year at CBC. No more looking into my future and wondering where it will take me, no more stressing over the implications of leaving Canada for half a year.
We will see what happens, and what this next year, 2007 has to offer!
But I am THRILLED to proclaim that God has shown me the way my life should take and I will follow in obedience and exicitement for the task which is laid before me.

Blessings! :)

I got some more pics from Cam!!!! hope you enjoy!!!

Old House buddies... Calvin is such a great guy! and these guys are halarious together.

So... Here I was last night at 4ish, getting ready for "Charlie Brown Christmas" at the CBC Christmas banquet, doing my hair, makeup, getting all "dolled" up for it... I even wore my "little black dress" and sexy shoes! It was so much fun getting ready with Dara, who then slept over here last night. Cam made his way to my MedoWoods aprtment to pick us up and we were off... and very very early! But got the best table most definatly!
Everyone that attended were all pretty in their dresses and suits, it was a fantabulous night! Then at the closing remarks... Eric gave the invitation for all who attended to come for a party at White House, (aka Cams place). And Im serious, that house is not meant to hold so many people, its small, its old and the floor feels like it will cave in when fourty people jump up and down on it, especially in the living room area!!! But... it was a Blast! I was exhuasted, considering I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before, but I tried my best to dance all funky like! :P Unfortuently when the party was getting good, Earl, the security night guy came to crash it. Someone filed a complaint to the school and threatened to call the cops on us if we werent quiet. Which I find halarious since the house is on campus and we're a bible college, most got a kick outta that one! I stayed behind with Dara, Nantina and Andrew, hanging out with Cam... until 2am... well after curfew! O WELL! All and all, everything was great!
Cam made my night wonderful!!! He was the sweetest gentleman, getting my punch for me, pulling my chair back for me to sit down, escorting me to the banquet!! I was treated like a princess! :) So.. I got some pics to share with you and I will be getting more from Cam, so maybe later I'll post more... Blessings!! :)

Arent we the cuttest couple ever!?!?! He tried so hard to not make such a goofy face in this photo that he ended up making a goofy face! but thats what makes him Cam... :)





Doesnt Dara look fantastic?? seriously boys.... shes Hot! :)





Okay, this girl here... Heidi, is wonderful! Shes so much fun and she made my Mission class a lot more fun! Isnt she just gorgeous???



And here we have Amber, she is right beside my apartment, the door right across the "hall" practically.. and she is SO MUCH FUN! Shes my late night study, coffee run, talk about whatever buddy... and I LOVE YOU AMBER! (its the 3rd time we've said it!) Shes soooo amazing and beautiful!

Amanda!!! Shes sooooo much fun! this girl can make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Shes beautiful, and we like to do our late night, visit dara at her diner runs!!


MY UNIT! we're not all here... but most of us are! :)

"Be generous with me and I'll live a full life, not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders. I'm a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions. My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous! - insatiable for your nourishing commands."
Psalm 119:17-20

its been a while... i know! but life just keeps getting more and more busy, I have 7 more papers to write, 1 class presentation,1 more OT quiz and 5 finals. Yep! its crazy. Im keeping busy though, so that is good.
yesturday I was spontaneous, thus the reason for this blog entry. I went and got my nose pierced just cause I wanted to, and I found a great piercing place which was recommended by many people at school. So yep! I have it back.
Its on the other side now, my left, your right. Then it was before. and I am thrilled. I love it! its so cute (at last ive been told!) and Im getting used to it again.

my stomach is doing well... not great or fantastic, but well is a good enough word! Keep praying for me and my healing. God is definatly working, he is definatly doing amazing things, I just need to conquer some on going details that He is revealing to me slowly and one at a time... wow...

Blessings to all!

things in my life have been overwhelming and crazy, mostly because I have been stressed beyond my capacity. I have had instances where I would just break down and cry over situations that I felt were completely overwhelming, yet, were minor in comparission with everything else.
but thankfully... Cant you see me? Below? I am as happy as can be! But of course I am.... because I am loved and in love with the God of the universe who died on a cross for me!!
I also have amazing friends, family and the best, most loving and wonderful boyfriend!
Cameron, I love you!



Praise God!
I have been prayed for in regards to healing...
I wont lie, I was walking a thin line when it came to my eating habiats, mostly in the area where I just was hardly eating anything at all, or I was eating too much horrible food.
I was also terrified to eat, the fear gripped hold of me like nothing else, thankfully I am free of that too and welcome whatever food I am offered. I will still however, continue to choose healthy choices for I do believe that is what God has called me to do.... along with praising him for the food I eat... this is a new thing....I keep forgetting to thank him for my food before I eat it... so I feel very convicted to start thanking him before I dig in!
but good news.....Today I woke up, I made myself breakfast without the thought of skipping out, I had lunch and a complete dinner with a nice light snack. The whole time, I didnt feel completely overwhelmingly sick...And I continue to proclaim my freedom and praise God for my healing! so yippeee.... I know that this is not the end, yet I know that God is healing me! So yay! :)

just also wanted to share that the Old Testament Survey midterm that I was so terrified about I got an A!!! (87%) yippeee! :) AND I got another B- on the last test... which is amazing because you have no idea how hard this course is and how much information we need to know for these tests! so YES! Praise God for helping me in this class!!!

so.... bed time for me! After some prayer time
Be Blessed! :)

well... you may be wondering.

where is Nicoles IBS blog??
it is gone!

yep thats right... its gone! Thats because I am not going to focus on that part of my life on here and burden you all with the details of it. Thats one reason, another is that I dont even believe that I have it anymore.

you're probably wondering... "but nicole, you've been talking and complaining about it for years, why you do not believe you have it anymore?"

well.. those are all super private details and things that I am not ready at all yet to type out on here and let the whole world read.
First I want to express it to those that are super close to my heart, and well... I might not even tell you guys anyways... so :P
just deal with the fact that its not longer on here... and I no longer want to talk about it.
so there! :)
suprises all over the place today..

o yah... YIPPEEE... its November! That means CHRISTMAS EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE! yay. Im in the mood for some Christmas Cheer! :)

so im just in the midst of midterms... yep, thats right! Ive just finished my second for the day, and now I am just waiting for the third. Yikies, I dont think ive been this stressed for a while. And Cam is sick :'( So even when I need a hug or a bit of relaxation, hes so sick that he has been sleeping and cant come over... **sniff sniff** its okay though... Hes getting better! yay.
although I think I might be getting the cold now... after these three tests, I have one more which I need to start studying for, that one is on Halloween. Old Testament Survey! O yay! hahahah... I love the course, yet get overwhelmed with the studying involved, o well, I got 70% on my last test, YIPPEE!! considering the class average was 65%.
I guess I better go and brush up on my Acts knowledge, considering that one is up next...

Be Blessed :)

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything."Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."[b] But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Corninthians 6:12-20



I absolutely LOVE this passage... and as I meditate on it I find that my body, my life and who I am has purpose and meaning in Christ. That I am united with Christ! He lives within me! I am Holy! What an incredible revelation, what incredible truth! I am thrilled to be called a daughter of the living God. I am a child of God.
I can not just allow myself to be destroying myself with things that are not good for myself. I can not self destruct. I am worthy! I am worthy of love, I am worthy of life and of love, especially the Love of Christ Jesus! PRAISE GOD!
I am freed from the perception that I am worthless, I am free from the perception that I am not worthy of anything but destruction, the enemy has shut up, because God is my God... and I am under the umbrella of his life, I am white as snow! I am loved, loved more then I can even imagine... you should see me! I am glowing. :)

Be Blessed!
And remember... JESUS LOVES YOU!
Believe it to be true.

lately ive had such a hard time with stuff... i dunno if any of you have noticed or not. its okay if you havent, dont feel bad, really!
things are going a lot better. in a half an hour (acutally less than that) im going to go and meet with John Schmidt and his wife for prayer counselling. Im nervous, Im scared, Im excited and Im eager. This is a step in the right direction and I am finally willing and ready to go there. To find spiritual healing as well as physical healing. so yay! :) be happy for me.
God has been revealing many things to me today and yesturday, once ive been ready to lay some things down and ready to take what is coming. its really exhausting to fight the spiritual fight, maybe that is why i am so exhuasted lately, im getting my 8-9 hours of sleep a night, so it shouldnt be, thats what makes me wonder, ive been in spiritual fights like this before, never though has it been so intense within myself.
God loves me! God is right here with me! God has a plan and purpose for me! God is leading me to places that I have not been willing to go for so long, and this is okay!
so.... yes! I have not much more to say... wish me luck! as I walk into my prayer time and discover ways that God is trying to meet with me! :)

Be Blessed! :)

so Im kinda scared, this new Old Testsament Quiz that I have going on... on Tuesday, this coming Tuesday.
I studied a bit today, will study again tomorrow, sunday and monday, I didnt do so good on the first one (barely pasted) now there is this one coming up thats supposed to be a lot harder :S
so PLEASE pray for me and think about me on Tuesday, espeically about this test.
I want to get at least a better mark then I did before... I love the material, I mean learning about the Old Testament is amazing and wonderful! Its incredible stuff... its just having to know ALL the detail, it gets really overwhelming, really really fast.
so thanks so much for thinking about me!

other then that, life is AWESOME!
work is great... although today wasnt such a great shift (fri night) However, I do have the next two saturdays off! :) But for studying for midterms :S So... not soooo much fun! I wanted the sunday off too, but didnt get it, o well, no big deal.
life is just super busy, keep busy with everything, its all good though...

off to sleep now, need to wake up tomorrow, buy more IBS pills... some brown rice bread! Yummies, and soy milk! extra yummies and then OT crazy studying! yippeee...
*yawn*

Be Blessed! :)

many of you who know me well, have been walking with me through this "healing journey" of mine for the past three and a half years. You have seen me cry... you have heard me wail, you have witnessed my ups and downs of life living with IBS. The drama, pain and complete helplessness. I have prayed since the day I started to feel unhealthy for healing... for a way to deal with this disorder/disfunction, a way to just make it so that I can be "normal" once again. And I have tried, through several ways... denying, ignorning, anger and frustrations to find "normal" within myself again, since I have honestly forgotten what life was like before IBS.

Yet... through my prayers.... through my desperate account of feeling hopeless, unnormal and without cause or puropse, God has clearly spoken his words, and Im finally mature enough and open enough to listen. I have finally set aside my anger at him, at life, at others and at myself to hear what he has had to say for some time.

I WILL BE YOUR STRENGTH IN YOUR WEAKNESS.

I love this! He will be my strength through my digestive problems. He will be my strength when I have nothing to eat, when I am sick, when I am hurting, when I am down to the lowest I possibly can get. HE will be MY strength. I believe now more then ever that God is using this problem of mine for his purposes, that he is transforming my life into his great will. I do not believe that he gave me this disorder, but I do believe that he can use it for his amazing purpose for his kingdom!! I do beleive that and now can understand that I do have a purpose, my IBS has a purpose and can be used has a means for compassion to the sick of the world. To those that are sick and have no hope, to bring them the understanding that there is always hope through sickness, there is always hope in Christ. :)

so... those that are praying for my healing. you can stop! You can pray instead that his amazing purpose is done through this struggle of mine. I no longer view my IBS as a means of a negative burden in my life, God believes that I can handle it... God has given me all his resources to handle it! so here I go... taking the step to believe that this can be the biggest gift and most positive event in my life!

PRAISE GOD! i say it again! PRAISE GOD! Amen! :)

so I have worked friday and today (saturday) and now tomorrow awaits another shift. I am getting overwhelmed once again with the amount of stuff I have to do. Practically every day is work, considering I have classes and then the actual IGA job. Which I really enjoy by the way... so its not that the job is super stressing or anything, its more that I feel like I dont have time for anything to do with school anymore, that I dont even have time to be at church even.
and this frustates me and stresses me out to no end. The down side, I would be loosing potential money. But is it worth it? I mean I'd most likly be working 12 hours a week at $9 a hour, instead of 18 hours a week. At least its something right?!
I think Im going to ask Jon if there is a possibility with cutting out sunday shifts. Just cause its getting too much, if he says no then I will obviously make it work, but if he says yes, then I think I would be a lot happier.
**cross fingers** pray that it will go over well, and that hopefully Jon likes me enough to not mind.

BE BLESSED :)

so things in life, in these regards are good.... I have nothing really to complain about, unless the amount of homework which gets increasingly large is something to vent about. The material is awesome! and its hard to believe that Im actually studying for a B.A! wow, me with a B.A??? that'll be the day (sometime in 2009 to be exact)
but anyways...
I encourage you all that are interested... to read my IBS blog.
I know, I know, hearing about a digestive disorder isnt so exciting, but its whats going on with me, so take a peek and I'll keep posting here too, I promise!

BE BLESSED! :)

o yah... still totally considering that nose piercing and tatoo that I am wanting... still not sure... yet still not totally convinced that its a no, maybe I'll randomly post a pic with me all decked out with both! hahahah..... **ponders**

what is with almost everyone I know getting engaged?? Two more of my friends just got engaged last week! Its crazyness, there are going to be sooo many weddings these next couple of years that I wont be able to afford it! AH! o well, I am sooo super happy for everyone being in love and celebrating the next step of their lives! yippee!!... so...
CONGRATULATIONS
Amy and Nowell, along with Katie and Mike!
Thats so awesome for you guys, Im SUPER excited for you! :)

Things ROCK!
I am so happy that I dont know what to do with myself... hahaha... School is awesome, Im still freaking with the amount of homework I have, but Ive calmed myself down a bit now. I'll just have to deal with some late nights and early mornings to get things done, but I think I'll manage, along with having some fun thrown in there somewhere.

Cam and I are awesome! Life is great there... things at school have gotten settled and I have found myself falling more and more in love with him with every moment we get to spend together. God is sooo good! :) I am so crazy blessed. Seven months are coming up soon! yay.

So its offical... Im going to Africa!! Just not right away... no worries, I wont be on a plane anytime soon, its more like January 2008, but still. Thats kinda soon, one year and four months. :S yikies! But its for my B.A I cant graduate without going to Africa, so what an awesome deal there huh!? hahah... I think so! :) When I go, chances are its going to be in Zambia working at a highschool with teenage girls, at a bible school, with discipling them. Working with the whole HIV and AIDS situation as well... its going to be great! Im looking forward to it, and harsh preparing myself emotionally, and Gods helping with the spiritual part as well (of course) But please pray for me with that decision, with if Africa is really where he wants me and that things go smoothly while setting up the internship. Thanks! :)

So... Im back on my big IBS/GLUTEN FREE eating plan. And its pretty much going super great. Ive kinda scared myself this past week with losing six pounds in a week!!! Im smaller than Ive ever been before! And so that really is exciting, Im not going to lie! haha, but If I keep losing this much then my mom is going to take me to a nutrionist, if it gets to be too much, but that'll only happen if I loose more than 25lbs. so, lets hope that I stop losing this fast, cause last time I was on my diet like this I lost approx.40lbs in two-three months :S ... but yah... but YIPPEE! That the eating plan is working as awesome as it is, I dont feel bloated, Im not wanting to throw up, I dont have any more stomach pain, and I just feel great! So YAY! :) Im so glad, and Im staying on it for good, I'll just cheat with Ben and Jerrys maybe once a month! :) you know, for a treat! heehee.

well... Im off to sleep now!
BE Blessed! :)

so school, although stressing about the homework, Im eager to get back on campus tomorrow night. I organized all of my books and wrote out a scheduale of all my assignments, there are actually not as many as I first anticipated. I think I'll do alright this semester! I think that I'll be okay... work these past couple shifts have been a walk in the park! it's so easy! Some people have been annoying, but thats what happens when you work with the public, o-well. I'll put on my happy face and ask for Gods paitence and love to shine through and be apart of me, especially at work.... I just cant let it phase me. I need the money, desperately! And Gods providing! so yay for that.
Even though this year is going to be crazy busy, I am not so stressed out about it anymore. Which I am thankful for, I am just going to take it a day and month at a time, and rest in Gods faithfulness.

well.... ive been doing a lot of thinking about my whole schooling, my semester this year and the next. You see I am in the Intercultural Studies BA program, which includes a eight month (minimun) internship missions trip to anywhere I want to go (or more like anywhere God tells me to go) before I wasnt so excited for it, more scared and terrified of the thought of it. But now that I have two amazing mission classes this semester I can't stop thinking about it. And I cant hep but feel the huge nudge and painful push to go January 2008, instead of my planned September 2008. SO! I am going to go in and make an appointment with Brian the missions director at CBC and see what he says, I know he'll encourage me to go for sure in January and if everything comes together super well, maybe that'll just be the case. WOW! I mean Ive always been super excited to do missions, but this will be alone, just me, in Africa most likly, doing Gods work. Its a dream come true, yet a scary reality. So, please pray for this internship, for Gods guidence. Cause I really hear him yelling at me to go in Jaunary instead of waiting and pushing it farther cause I want things my way. I want things to happen in life before I go, I want things to be secure before I go, I want to go with Dara! hahaha... but Im hearing him say that my life is his and HE SAYS when I go not me, and that life will be fine and his will is going to be done when I get back.... I hear him calling me to prepare myself and take these mission classes super seirously.
So.... here we go, lets see what happens!!!

O yah... Im going to China next summer! :) on a missions trip with my church, its not for sure yet cause I havent applied and I havent payed anything, but Im confident that I'll have the opportunity. Im super SUPER excited! :)

Be Blessed! **big smiles**

so this week has been crazy... even just today has been the most overwhelming of them all. My weeks to come look NUTS!
crazy overwhelming that I dont know when I'll have a chance to breathe, and I still have a man I want to spend time with and cuddle with whenever I get the chance :) So I hope that I'll learn to take energy out of whatever situation Im in this year... AHHH... yep, thats me thinking of what I have infront of me for the next eight months. O well....things are going to be great. My classes are AMAZING! I am super excited for everything I am going to be able to do. I am so excited for the things that are to come, for growth in Christ, for learning the bible so much more then I do now... for the assingments that seem to be so exciting. Also, for new friendships that will form throughout the months... things seem good... really good! :D
I think however that I might ask for Sundays off work now... I might give it a couple of months and see what happens, either that or ask for a smaller shift. Im not sure yet, I think I might give it a while yet to see... but Im scared that I'll run out of energy really quickly if I dont have a time to just stop and do nothing. I think I might run it by my boss/manager sometime this weekend. Hopefully it'll be okay... pray for me guys! :D

well... off to sleep! Im EXHAUSTED :S
Be Blessed! :)

ps. GOD IS GOOD! hes doing incredible things... like always! :)

those of you that visit often, may become confused to the new title, verse and layout of my trusty blogger site. Yes, this is still me, still my blog and still my life. I am still devoted to Jesus Christ (as the verse clearly states) and I still am "simply driven by Christ" that will forever be apart of who I am. Driven solely on the passion, purpose and faith that comes with giving ones life to Jesus Christ.

and although all those things are extremely important, I feel the need for a name change and a new direction to walk in my life.
to be a forgiven victory...

let me explain.
I recently found that my name means VICTORY, along with the definition of saved, victorious in battle and being given victory
I found this to be appropriate because there have been so many things in my life that I have been victorious in, and many things now that I need Gods grace, mercy and forgiveness to find victory and overcome them.
God has forgiven me for many events, and things that I have done, yet each time...hes is gracious enough to bring me victory in it all.

its an encouragement....that I can be a forgiven victory in the things today and tomorrow that are keeping me where I am, and I need, only through Gods strength to pass through the bondage.
so... PRAISE GOD!
AND
BE BLESSED! :)