i added this picture because flowers always make me feel better, they make me smile and so i felt like i should share in my desire to smile today!

in the past couple of days ive read everything that i can get a handle on when it comes to endometriosis, i think im irritating my room mates, even Cam and my family cause im talking so much about it. but seriously, how could i not? i am excited that there is finally some action going on, a doctor has listened to me, its not all in my head. or is it? as i sit here, the pain is dulled, for now and my overwhelming need to sleep is still hindering me from opening up my book and doing homework. but is that just a reaction of other things? i so desperately want it to be something, anything... just diagnose me with something that makes sense! PLEASE! FOR GOODNESS SAKES! im afraid that as i read the symptoms of Endo, mine will no longer match what i read and i'll be back in Dr. Ferris' office with the dreaded "yes its IBS" once again... I HATE THAT DIAGNOSIS! it can not be that, it doesn't make any sense. the stories ive read, the surgery that may be preformed and the reality that something is indeed wrong, i mean it has to be... right? its all so, whats the word? mind boggling.

so my prayer request, honest, and to the very depth of my heart... is that i get in to see the gynecologist soon, very very very soon. So that my treatment can start as soon as possible, if Endo is really the culprit of all of this.

but what if its not? please God, let the answers come soon.
i surrender myself into Your hands. Amen.