As I met with my regional director yesterday and talked about my maternity leave I realized that soon I'll be home and not at Prospect anymore. There will be a new teacher and I'll just be a memory to the 20 something children I love and adore at the centre.
I haven't given it much thought until now that I'll be replaced and probably won't be coming back to that particular placement. Instead I'll be at home getting bigger, growing Bubba inside until he/she is ready... waiting for labour to begin. Then everything will be different and instead of being responsible for the care of twenty five children forty hours a week, I'll be responsible for one child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 365 days a year!!
But I'm nervous in a variety of ways, I'm quite sure that my schooling and ECE experience will influence my parenting. I'm sure that I'll be the mom putting out sensory tables in our house, reading books constantly, stocking up the free art corner daily and encouraging my child to "try" at many many developmentally appropriate tasks they are more than capable of doing before I step in. I'll be the mom that holds her child "too much" in the eyes of others because I believe in it. I'll be the mom who has her three year old in a car seat and breast feeds exclusively until at least a year! My experiences at work have allowed me a lot of time to build my philosophies of how children can be treated and taught to be a successful individual.
But then again I don't want my new title of "mommy" to influence my work and my identity of "teacher". I see too often that teachers get sucked into the adorable eyes of a 2 1/2 year old who proclaims that they just can't put their slippers on their feet (when they just did it for me a hour prior!). These teachers are usually moms who see their children in the eyes of the children at the centre and feel the need to "save" them from everything. Unfortunately "saving" them often debilitates them from learning the various life skills necessary to be successful in kindergarten, in ever day life. When a child learns to manipulate another to do what they want then they learn they never need to do anything for themselves. They won't learn to experience discomfort, frustration, conflict and successfully find a way to deal with it. I'm sure my strong beliefs in my work will not be hindered by my new role as a mom but I can't help but be a little nervous.
Okay, time to get ready for work. I'm closing the centre today. I'm really going to miss these kids when I'm gone :'(
N.
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