Breast feeding, it's hard!!

I was so naive, even after reading book after book I thought that I'd be perfectly capable of breast feeding right from the start, no problem! I mean, why wouldn't I be able to? I have boobs, he is a baby who needs my milk, stick baby on breast and done! Well, for some women it truly is that simple (& if that's you I don't need to hear it). But for others, like myself, it doesn't come so easy right from the start and we need to work at it. And it hurts, a lot! Both emotionally and physically. Which isn't exactly the greatest when your already hormonal and weepy.

Last week Cam and I saw a lactation specialist and if I have advice for any new mom struggling its this: DO NOT be ashamed to ask for help! It's much better for you emotionally to seek a pro and learn exactly what's wrong and how to fix it and what's normal and how to live with it. Because believe it or not breast feeding is HARD. I've been told that it doesn't stay this difficult forever but when your on day three and your milk is delayed (because of your traumatic delivery) and your newborn wants on your breast and is screaming and hasn't peed all day and your hysterical thinking that something is horribly wrong, you'll want to quit. But instead hold onto the truth like I have that "it gets easier". Because all the women who have told me that can't all be wrong at the exact same time.

Also, don't be ashamed if you find yourself doing what you thought you never would do. I think many if us have been there. Edison has slept in bed with me many times now. Co-sleeping was not something I was going to be flexible about, I did NOT want him in our bed. But when cluster feeding is apart of the equation and you're slowly loosing sleep then you'll bend your preconceived notions of how life with babe will be. And if you don't, then that's your path and I'm placing no judgement on you.

All I know for myself is that cluster feeding took me by HUGE surprise. When I was pregnant I had a few conversations with my doula about breast feeding but never physically saw anyone in "action". I never got to witness the ins and outs of everyday life with a tiny human and it's mother who breast fed. So how in the world was I supposed to really know what I was getting myself into? I didn't. I didn't understand that a newborn could want the breast so vigorously, wanting nothing more than to suckle for comfort. I've had Edison "feed" some days for up to five or six hours at a time with very few short breaks in between. So we introduced a soother which has saved my nipples but is not always effective in satisfying his need for boob.

So new moms out there, pregnant friends of mine (and there are many). BE WARNED! lol, breast feeding is beautiful and wonderful and I absolutely love the connection I have with my son because of it. But please educate yourself as much as you can before diving into it. Please take a class if you can to prepare, ask questions (I'll answer any questions) and be kind to yourself as you learn. Because there may come a night where you find yourself crying uncontrollable tears holding your baby who is screaming for milk you have yet to produce and you'll be exhausted and you'll feel defeated and you'll want to throw in the towel. But know instead that you'll be ok, babe will be ok and whatever decision you make will be the best for you. I decided to keep going and honestly, it has gotten easier. It wasn't easy right away, it's not even easy now. But it's getting better because I'm learning, I'm educating myself about boobs, milk and newborns and I'm making the conscious effort to not give up on something that is important to me.

Breast feeding is not all I thought it would be, it's harder than I expected but it's also more wonderful too! And that makes the hard parts easier, at least my couch is comfy :)
N.


And just because he's the biggest sweetie, another pic of my son to show off to you! He's changing already!