The days and weeks before Edison came I remember feeling inadequate. That I wouldn't know what to do, how to do it, how could I possibly be a mother? All the sudden it seemed so overwhelming and all consuming. So I distracted myself with the labor process, I meditated a lot of my anxieties away with prayer and by the time Edison made his appearance those feelings were gone. Now in it's place I'm overwhelmed with love for him.

On Mother's Day, when I was discharged I remember standing at the door to my room staring at the bed. Tears formed in my eyes as I flashed back to the moments of the day before as I birthed my son. In that room, #219 my life changed forever and the most incredible moments took place. I didn't feel ready to leave that behind.

Being a mother means more to me than I expected. I'm definitely still weepy, looking at my son I can easily start crying tears of joy! I think about the future, he will grow up. He'll start to look different, walk, talk, read, get into mischief. He'll eventually go to school, play sports (probably), drive, grow super tall and start dating. One day he'll make me a mother-in-law and maybe even a grandma! YIKES! But today... right now, my son is falling asleep as he breast feeds and I get to kiss his cheek and fall deeper in love with him.


This is going to go by quickly, and I really don't want to miss a moment of it.
N.