The crying, OH the crying!

Before I had Edison I would read books and articles on many different things and what I kept coming back to was attachment style parenting. I kept identifying with all the things it talked about and was captivated with how simple it seemed. I never once thought that my beautiful baby would be labelled as difficult, clingy, a "mommas boy" or hard to handle. I never once imagined that he'd be a challenge to babysit or unpredictable to take out.

And yet here we are. My son, with the "difficult" temperament. Others believing they know what's best for him. "If only you would......" Yah. Ok. Thanks. Go right ahead, and he's back in my arms moments later because they failed to calm my "difficult" son and well he's a "mommy's boy" anyways.

I'm not meaning to make a harsh statement to anyone who has said these things around Edison and I (frankly I've said these things). I'm just simply stating that yes, my son cries, A LOT. And yes, I'm finally (after almost six months) perfectly ok with it. As Cameron said the other night, Edison is "special" and frankly so am I.

So this is what I'm currently practicing, the "cry it out with mommy" method. Because I came to realize that my sensitive son who I thought I was protecting by not allowing him to cry, is a baby and cries. I was SO scared to let him cry more than a few minutes at a time. I believed I was damaging his trust in me and his emotional development. I was reading article after article about how letting babies cry it out harms them. And then I read an article that I believe was the turning point and set me free. This article right here!
I finally understood for myself that Edison is expressing himself by crying and by trying to save him from crying I was also saving him from his emotional need to express his needs, frustrations, etc. So now I'm much more willing to allow him to cry it out in my arms. If he's changed, fed, has had gripe water or Tylenol to help his gas and teething I hold him close, glide on our chair and hum to him as he cries. It's become another time where I thank God that Edison is mine and I get to practice my calm mothering touch for future years when tantrums and outbursts over the same emotions will look much different.

My Edison is so sweet and so precious. The days of when he cries with few breaks are tiring and emotional (like today). I see that something needs to change in the way I put him to sleep (with my boobs) in order to prevent some of these really bad outbursts. Not sure what the next step is but rest assured there will tears and screams involved. I know I'll be there to help him through the process and I'm grateful I have my husband and mom to help me. I just need to quit eating my emotions away and face the reality of how these days affect me too.

Hearing my baby cry is always going to break my heart a little.
I guess that's just part of being a mommy.
N.