the pumpkin patch & me

On Saturday we took Edison to the pumpkin patch and it was so much fun! We didn't stay long and we didn't bother to go anywhere fancy, we just went to a local place and took lots of photos. We picked three really big pumpkins and two little ones and came right home. We even got our pumpkin spiced lattes, it was an experience and tradition we hope to keep up every year.


But then that night I looked at the photos and reality hit me. I've gained a lot of weight. A lot more than I ever truly realized and my heart broke into a million pieces. I had promised myself that I wouldn't gain weight once I got married, I promised myself that I wouldn't let food addiction consume me, I promised myself that I would find a way to love and respect my body. I failed. At least that's how it feels.

On Sunday morning I approached Cam and we had a really great talk. I realized that he does still love me for who I am no matter the size I am but the truth of the matter is that there's a lingering fear in us both of my health deteriorating if I don't change. Especially if I don't change before my next pregnancy.

I've fought weight problems most of my life. I've been skinny and not so skinny, I've been healthy and I've been sick. I've had food sensitivities, gestational diabetes, IBS and more. I'm addicted to carbs and sugar. If I don't change my body there's no doubt in my mind that I'll end up a celiac, diabetic with heart disease and fibromyalgia and be dead by the age of 75 like my grandmother.

So...

I'm sticking to my gluten free diet and I'm taking charge with my fitness pal app (add me, coliestehr). I'm hoping to hire my friend to whip my butt on a weekly schedule and start interval bike sessions again on my stationary bike. I'm going to stay accountable to myself and post updates here too. I'm thinking weight loss progress pictures, weigh ins and a weekly update (maybe not a pic every week tho). I know accountability and community support can help anyone be successful, so why not me?

Regardless of what I choose to do I need to do something. I need to loose weight before I get pregnant again and I definitely want to be pregnant this time next year so I'm aiming for a loss of forty pounds by my 29th birthday on July 5th, 2014. That's an average of five pounds a month to loose and I think a very reasonable goal.

So wish me luck! And check back and send me tips, recipes and share your "get healthy" experiences with me.

I know I can do this and I know that some of this weight came on for a reason (pregnancy) but I'm also aware that it very much needs to go. It's not a "I need to look great in a bikini" kind of weight loss, it's more a "I don't want to be sick anymore or be at risk to be sicker later in life" kind of weight loss.

I know I can succeed :)
N.