Yesterday was HARD!

Yesterday was HARD! Yesterday I cried more than the past six weeks combined. Yesterday I doubted myself and my abilities, I had no joy or happiness. Yesterday I was falling apart and didn't recognize myself. Yesterday had me wondering if I could ever manage to do this again. Yesterday was a serious eye opener of how difficult this journey of motherhood can be. Yesterday SUCKED!

And you know what? I got through it!

But not without help. My mom rescued me once I couldn't handle the crying any longer and found me broken down in Edison's room. Cam immediately started swaying his crying son with a busted up thumb when he came home exhausted from work. My brother went out and picked me up whatever food I wanted so I didn't have to worry about dinner. And Kortney came over last minute, late at night, with a hug and tricks to share and helped me feel like I really am doing a good job. She reassured me that it is just hard sometimes and that sometimes nothing is wrong so there's nothing to fix. That sometimes Edison just needs to cry to communicate and that every time a day like yesterday happens, I WILL get through it.

So yesterday I went to bed with puffy eyes and was absolutely exhausted, but incredibly thankful. Grateful for my mom, for my husband, my brother and for amazing friends like Kortney. I kissed my son over and over again, praising God for him. And recognizing that I DO have the strength, that I AM a good mother. And that I absolutely will do this again and again because even in the midst of sucky days like yesterday, there are amazing moments like this morning when my son cooed and smiled at me. That's what I'm living for, Edison is worth it all.


N.