on Sunday, as I called my fiance on the phone to give him a heads up that I was just about to jump in the car and take off for his place unannounced. He told me that my prayer counselor, John Schmidt has passed away that morning. I immediately stopped being happy, I stopped talking and with tears streaming down my face asked to call him back. I sat there staring at the wall and memories of sitting in his office with his wife Erna, and them loving me like grandparents, praying for me, giving me advice, guiding me through prayers against bondage came flooding back. I loved John like a friend and grandfather. He was such an incredible man of God, so I know he must be overjoyed to be home with the Lord. But he was also the one who started to help me find myself again and get back to the place I most desperately needed to be with God. He was the one who spoke words of wisdom and most cherished inspiration into my life. I appreciated this man, I respected this man, and now he is gone, and I am sad.
So please pray for Erna, her children and her grandchildren who are experiencing this loss. I never knew he was sick, he didn't tell anyone. They kept it low-key, praying for healing. Now I can understand that he prayed really diligently for me in regards to healing, he understood what sickness felt like.

CBC most definitely won't be the same without him.

so Im back into the swing of things with wedding planning... the list is LONG with things that Cam and I have to accomplish, agree on, design, people to meet with. BAAAAAA!!!! we came up with an amazing and super creative design for our invitations and I LOVE how both of us over tea at Timmies yesterday came up with it. Im NOT telling what its going to look like, but Im super excited to make up a "tester" and then order the paper from Traci's mom.
Another super wedding find... I think that I just came across my bouquet! I LOVE this bouquet, I need to show it to Cam tonight (hopefully I see him) and see what he things (I mean, he IS the flower expert here) but its gorgeous! My goal, is to make the centerpieces, bouquets and invitations concrete in their design and color schemes. THEN I will continue my planning with everything else around them to make sure it all flows, I need one thing as "inspiration" and then have everything else come out from that. Then my mind will stop spinning with all the ideas and ways that I could do everything separately. So if I get this bouquet, does that mean that navy blue is in the color scheme? Im not sure yet! but I do know that Cam will laugh if I ask him. But I can tell you for sure that Lavender and Chocolate Brown are! And even little gold accents, but I think Im going away from the Gold being dominant and more "appearing here and there" YAY! Im SUPER HAPPY to be back into the fun of wedding planning, seriously I see it all in my mind, I can't wait for this magical day to come :)

hello all! well, my week has been interesting to say the least. I started at my new job on Monday, IGA again! only this time its at the Cloverdale IGA so those of you who know where that is I welcome you come in and say "hi". I know the job well, Ive done it before and I really don't mind the cashiering. Its that I have never actually worked 40 a week that will take some getting used to. That and the absence from Cam. Its such an adjustment going from living next door and being able to see him all the time to only a couple days a week for a couple hours. Definitely NOT acceptable, this is making me super impatient for the wedding to come, I just want him all to myself already!!

However, this adjustment is also making me look twice at myself and some things. I mean its hard, its really hard for me to understand some things that just seem so simple, I seem to complicate (all the time!) but its such a learning process and I am soooo grateful for Cam. I am super happy and in love with him, what a blessing! I can't wait!

Ive been putting off the amount of work that needs to get done around me. The bathroom needs cleaning, my room as well, I need to organize and repack all my stuff for moving in December, I need to get all the wedding planning done. And things sorted out with that, I have so many appointments to make and not so much time to get it all done it. AND the STUPID doctors office is stupid and I still don't have a gynecologist appointment even though Ive been calling them about it (I think Im bugging them too!). That needs to get itself sorted and Im looking for a new doctor! EEEKKKKKKkkkkk.....
Okay, the list needs to get shorter... well, I at least need to start making the list first, that will get done tomorrow!

Other than all of this... life is good! and I am thankful for every moment of it. Praise the Lord for His grace.

Its the end of the year and it hasn't really hit me yet that tomorrow, Im packing up the van and moving home. My roommates are dealing with a different experience than me. They are graduating! and I am SUPER PROUD of them... but not me, I have three more semesters left. For me, this is a different experience. I will leave my apartment, I will leave campus tomorrow as a relatively single, 22 year old student who has had a tremendously challenging and incredible year. Now, the next time I walk onto this campus, I will be a 23 year old, married, house wife! WOW! My life will look COMPLETELY different the next time I walk onto campus, the next time I come to this part of "town" to call home again. Cam will no longer be my neighbor, he will be my husband! And I will no longer share a home with girls, no longer will there be sleep-over like times and staying up super late to order pizza and have fondue.
This year has been crazy difficult and yet the most memorable of my college career. I have dealt with hard classes, the pain and remorse of decreasing health, the emotional challenges that Endo has been for me, and the amazing, wonderful and incredible experience of getting engaged! My relationship with Cam has been transforming this year, it has grown to be the most incredible relationship of my life! And I am eternally grateful for my future, my life, my forever with him!
So... today I will go out and have the most amazing girls night with my most treasured friends and then I will pack up, leave this place and embrace the change thats inevitably going to take place.
Ever since the move out of my most cherished home back in grade nine, after I changed high schools, churches, friend circles, having both my grandparents pass away close together and have my health increasingly decrease throughout these past years... Change for me, I just go with the flow! I accept what needs to be accepted and I say bye to those I love with the expectation and hope that they will continue to be apart of my life!
so... GOODBYE! so all my beloved friends from CBC, I love you dearly and I thank you unconditionally for the experiences this year. **Hugz**

today i feel sick... well, ive been feeling sick for a while but today and the days previous to this i have been wondering why i have let it get this far.
i love who i am, i truly do and i am impressed with how far i have come emotionally, spiritually but not exactly physically. i want to be healthier, i want to change my perspectives on food and myself so that i can get to a place of complete transformation and a new "me" in that way but im not sure.
i mean i am prepared and excited to get out of school and start a new lifestyle, one which will be difficult indeed but needed. i feel the sickness, i can see the sickness, the weight ive gained, the blanket, "as it were" ontop of me which has been suffocating myself.
once again though... how have i let it get this far? why? what has told me that i am unable to stop it? im not exactly sure... but i know that i need to get healthy, i NEED to.
i owe it to me, Cam, and our future children.
ba...

I just wanted to say...

BECKY AND KEVIN DAVIDSON!
CONGRATULATIONS :)

They just found out that they are 5 weeks pregnant and expecting in December! yipppeee! I am thrilled for this couple. Becky is one of my closest and most dearest friends, she is amazing and I am super excited for her and the bundle of blessing that is on its way. Another super cute baby to spoil (Wahooooooo!)

Im grinning ear to ear with excitement for her and Kevin. I hope you all are doing the same! Please keep them in your prayers as Becky is an American citizen and is awaiting her Canadian citizenship, so please help in prayer that she receives it before baby D comes along. As well as prayer for a healthy pregnancy.

so lately ive been asking myself the question "what do I want to do?" "who do I want to be?" and although i should probably be directing that question primarily to God, i have been thinking much about it and where i want to end up career wise. my conclusion thus far? there are two directions... health psychology or counselor. my psychology teacher reminded me that those two can coincide and i can actually do both! yipppeeeee... but then i thought to myself "well, i came here with the heart to do ministry, why am i all the sudden going down the road of psychology?"
First off, cause I LOVE it. I seriously love opening up my book and reading about how human behavior effects things, it makes sense to me!
And Secondly, well, because a huge part of me feels lead to walk this road.
Yet, i've always envisioned myself speaking in high schools and counseling adolescent girls out of youth groups concerning eating disorders, self destruction tendencies, and pre-martial sex/teen pregnancies.
But then i realised, it actually kind of side swiped me... those things work with a health psychology degree!!!!! and i would probably be a better speaker, counselor with that health education aspect.
so i guess this is the route im taking! yikies, it scares me, but my goodness you should seriously try and read some of the psychology stuff out there its FASCINATING! im going to DIE taking a year off with no psych classes, im actually going to buy the child psych book, read and highlight and prepare for when i finally get to take the class... how did I become such a geek!????? heehee!

blessings to all!

so i just found out today that my uncle and his fiance (who i already call "aunt" and who is one of my most favorite people EVER!) are getting married in late October/early November! and GUESS WHERE THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED????.... really, come on, guess!??? HAWAII!!!!! woot woot, which means i GET TO GO TO HAWAII!!!!! i am extatic, i loooooooove Hawaii, soooooo much its probably my favorite place on earth, Ive been three times so this will make it my fourth. Its kinda crazy cause I actually know where everything is, the flea market, the museum, the zoo! the starbucks! i absolutely adore this place and Im trying to get Cam and i over there for our honeymoon too! yippppeeeee.... you have no idea how excited i am.
but anyways... other then this, life is great. its getting kinda sad over here at CBC with only 18 days left its kind of surreal, knowing that this is my last time in senior housing, its my last time with roommates other than family members, after this comes work and home then MARRIAGE! WOW! I mean, don't get me wrong, there is a lot of excitement coming my way there is just a little sadness with the whole saying goodbye thing. **sniff sniff** however! saying goodbye here means saying hello to my friends in Surrey who i haven't seen in ages and don't get to spend any of my time with. THIS is really exciting to me.

i feel like i have this sentimental, open hearted post just trying to get outta me but i have no idea what it is i really want to say... i had an incredible visit with my psychology teacher today, an hour visit, i love her, shes amazing! and as i walked home afterwards i began to realise how okay i am with a lot of things. i feel as though ive come SUCH a far way... and im so proud of myself in this. i am so proud that i am able to say "bring it on Endo!" and to not be afraid of the unknown. im eager to get home and to take care of myself with food choices and a membership to the YMCA right next to my house. i am ready to just take charge of my life and my decisions im eager and excited to do so... and i feel like being at home will give me strength that i can't seem to find here at school. i absolutely love life right now, actually ive been trying for an hour to share a nooma video in this post through youtube but i can't seem to make it work :'(
but its called rain and its amazing! and its helped me realise and see just how important it is that God is carrying me through all of these experiences. my life these past five years has NOT been easy. who knew that oma dying would jump start the dominos effect from hell... but i love what Rob Bell says in the video:
that God is holding us close to his heart, he is whispering in our ear "I love you, I know the way home" God is taking care of us and instead of us screaming at him, or asking him "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!" we can fall on our knees brokenhearted and praise him proclaiming "thank you! thank you so much for holding me during that time" because i believe that we go through the hard times despite whether or not we love God, they are times necessary for growth and for brokenness, which is NOT a bad thing. i see brokenness as strength now, i see weakness as perseverance and i see these things building character in a person that nothing else could. and i am blessed, i am blessed with Endometriosis, i am blessed with hard times because they form me and make me who i am and they allow me the period of time to fall on my knees and proclaim
GOD I CAN NOT DO IT ANY OTHER WAY!

blessings!

as i take a much needed break from statistic studying, i thought that i would post... finally, its been a while and i really liked Kortneys comment in my last post. what kind of procrastinator am i? well, im not sure but i know that it doesn't always involve the computer, i spend hours doing homework at night (like last night i was up until 3am writing a paper!) but anyways...

lately, ive been discovering what it means to be a wife. what i means to support Cam in everything, even the things that i find painful. but thats what marriage is... its support, its love, its paitence. and well, falling in love with Cam has brought me to discover how set i am in some ways, some thinkings, some expectations. that my "first born, only girl, spoiled brat" mentality has gotten me heartbroken, many times, with no real idea as to why. im sure many of you have gone through what i have, or maybe not, i have no real clue. but i know that for myself, having one expectation that i thought i would never have to see be incapable for Cam, is heartbreaking. however, the experience of being there to support, encourage and help is shaping the way that i will love him for the rest of my life, which means shaping the way i will be "wife". this being a positive and wonderful result.
man alive... who ever said that relationships were easy, i seriously want to kick that person in the crotch! like seriously.
i agree with Cam when he says that society plays the whole "you just fall in love and live happily ever after" BULL CRAP!
Cam and i have put blood, sweat and tears (or at least I cry!) into our relationship and we still face rocky cliffs. I am SO THANKFUL that God is such a huge part of who we are, i am sooooo excited that God shapes us, changes us and challenges us, through the love we have for each other. its amazing to me, and wonderful.

the person i am becoming is all due to my relationship with Cam and the grace given to me from God. this is the most incredible gift that i would NEVER trade in life...

well... Cam came in, and he just made fun of me :P
geeezzzzz, hahahah, back to the books... NOOOOOOOOOOooOoooOOOOoooo

Blessings!

it is most definitely frustrating to wake up to pain, to intense pelvic pain and pressure, then to decide whether it will be worth it to go to class, and sit for hours listening to lectures when I can read my text book at home in my pj's with a water bottle... so the verdict, I went to my Stats class today and now Im heading up to the library where I need to finish a paper that is hard to write, but very interesting all at the same time. THEN will come pj's, a water bottle and my gummie bears! eeekk... Another couple of days extension on that "such a good idea but very intense paper", due to this set back it is desperately needed BA!!
I hate having to ask for more time... I hate to use my pain as an "excuse" it really isn't one, you try writing a ten page paper on the theme of hope found in the New Testament when all you want to do is pass out on the couch and moan!! Yeah, I thought so :P

BUT things are starting to get figured out... and when I say that, I mean emotionally more than physically, which is a huge step in the right direction for me. I am choosing to overcome my difficulties and although it may not sound like it in this post, I am not allowing this pelvic pain to overtake all of me, not like it has in the past. As well, I am taking the right steps in the right direction in order to overcome my eating disorder and bad associations, my depression can no longer be fed, by me, even this needs to be overcome, and I will.

The good part about all of this? I have GOD! I have hope, and I will overcome! I have chosen to overcome...
And I have the most trusting, patient, loving and loyal fiance of all time!(seriously, he is far more in all these characteristics than anyone else I know)

So blessings to all, and I hope you have no pelvic pain today :)

In New Testament theology class I need to write a devotional, not exactly an easy thing for me to do, but alas! I did it! I wanted to share my final copy, this is what I will be reading aloud in class on Tuesday, I hope it works and makes sense.

Blessings!


Throughout the months coming up to writing for this devotional, I had many themes and ideas run through my mind. Then someone told me to do something that meant something to me, something that I am in the midst of being taught, something that touched my heart and circumstance. So, this is what I have chosen. Healing for the past five years has become an emotional subject for me. For several years I have had abdominal pain and discomfort along with some other symptoms and it has not been fun to say the least. Doctors would only tell me that nothing serious was wrong and to watch what I eat, and track what I experience. Friends and pastors would tell me that if only I would believe deeper, pray longer, hope harder then maybe healing would come sooner.
The emotional journey that I have been on has lead me up some very steep hills. Yet, I find that it is nothing compared to the testimonies that I read in the New Testament. A woman bleeding for twelve years, cast out of society because she is looked down on as unclean. Her faith leading her to Jesus Christ and with hopeful determination she goes and touches his robe to find herself healed. I can only imagine her circumstance and what emotional healing came that day for her as well. Especially with Jesus affirming her by saying, “your faith has healed you, go in peace and be freed from your suffering” (Mrk 5:34).
To be freed from our sufferings is such bliss, to be freed from physical disease or even emotional distress brings us such blessing and release. I believe like probably many of you that healing is possible, even the type that doesn’t make sense. Yet, I also believe that it pains us, sometimes we hold onto our sufferings because we grow attached to the comfort of them. The healing that Jesus did were for those suffering a great physical distress. Yet the healing of these men now meant that they had to work and were no longer able to make a living by begging and being cared for. A small price to pay for freedom. But with the comfort of a being cripple gone, the challenge of being thrown into something other than what was previously known can be scary.
One of my most favorite healing stories is that of a blind man, in John chapter nine, Jesus’ disciples ask him “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (v. 2). Jesus answered them and said “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life” (v. 3). There is no fault found, the power of God is to be displayed through this mans blindness. So as I read this story I am not only reminded of my own circumstance, but of my friends as well and their baby boy who was born with disease and who lived only twenty eight days of life. Although circumstances such as these bring us emotional pain, Jesus says here, that it is for Gods glory to be displayed. That in the hopelessness of disease, God brings glory to himself. Noah lived so that God would be glorified, an incredible accomplishment for such a short life.
Yet, physical disease and compromise are not the only ways in which God can display is work. Emotional distress constricts the body almost as much as the physical. And it is recognizing that through these times God wants to be glorified, and he will offer his strength to those of us asking for it. It is asking for his peace, his hope, his renewal and his clean sweep of our minds that helps us overcome the obstacles that get in our way. Whether these obstacles include a dysfunction of our physical body or not.
“We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor 4:16-18).
Therefore, the healing we experience today whether they be physical or emotional or both are not what is entirely important. What is important is that our hope is in God and his return, it is in our salvation in Christ Jesus.

just now as I work on my NT Theology paper, I came across this verse which stopped me in my tracks so I wanted to share:

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Blessings!

Ive been going onto a wedding site in my "spare time", as though I even really have spare time! But its been a lot of fun to get ideas and bring them together to produce my very own dream wedding! So while I was going through the cake section I came across these cakes, where in my opinion are GORGEOUS! Cam and I are doing a cake especially for the head table and family tables, then there will be cup cakes for the rest of our guests. Which brings me to my next wedding point... the guest list. There are SO MANY PEOPLE that Cam and I love, adore and appreciate, so its pretty well THE HARDEST THING EVER to come up with a guest list. How do you say, "yes you can come!" to one friend but "sorry we can't afford to have you there" to another???????? Especially when so many of our friends are in relationships or married, its really hard, and really stressful. SO! What Cam and I have discussed and envisioned for our big day, is for our reception to be a very intimate environment, which means... small. Smaller than what we had originally planned for, which means, not everyone will be able to come. And I am sorry and I love all of my dearest friends, but I sure hope that those of you who are reading this and love us too... will understand. Financially if we want to make our day completely ours with the components we want to add, as well as keep the intimate feel we really are striving for, then less is more.

Back to more wedding photo browsing!

Blessings :)

so on Saturday I went to the Clipper Street Scraptbooking Company and in a wedding invitation class I created my very own wedding invitation, its PERFECT and pretty! :) Im very excited to finally get the paper & ribbon ordered, along with other components needed, then go all crazy putting them all together. I know its early... but I have programs, the guest book, and other fun additions to create which will be a key to the wedding and will display my amazing creative capabilities! I'm very excited to make my wedding completely my own, including the creation of my own stationary!
It was super fun too cause Mom and Nantina (maid of honor) were with me... and although Mom is NOT crafty she did a great job! and Nantina and I played around with the measurements to see what some choices are in regards to size! FUN!

Friday was great... I had the best conversation with a good friend, Kortney Story, who has the authority to speak encouragement into my health situation. She gave me the most amazing advice that I am sure Ive heard before, but coming from Kort this time, she put things in more perspective. Maybe that is because I am more ready now to hear it than I was before. CLICK to read falling leaf where she blogged about it.

as well, yesterday my Mommy pulled out her wedding dress from the air tight box it was in and we had one of those sentimental "Mother/Daughter moments" it was such a special time for me. I put on her veil and with an overwhelming excitement fell in LOVE with it. Its GORGEOUS! SO... I'm going to wear my mothers veil on my wedding day :) I'm going to bring it with me when I go and pick out my dress (whenever that happens) with some re-adjustments I am going to be HOT STUFF! On December 20th, Cams jaw will drop! Which is the plan of course.

Blessings to all!
and YIPPPEEEEE... FOR MY WEDDING DAY... NINE MONTHS :)

EIGHT TO TEN WEEKS! in 8-10 weeks I get a gynecologist appointment :) I am SO EXCITED! This means that this appointment could mean an official diagnosis of Endometriosis (or something else if its something else), my almost five year wait to diagnosis this thing is finally here!!

today was the funeral for the picture of that little boy in my previous post. what an emotional ceremony, but of course, its always sad when a child only lives 28 days. the slide shows they presented, the prayers and the speeches would bring anyone to tears, me especially.

this past weekend has been especially hard for me. with the advice from my doctor I took a shot to try and stop the Endometriosis from growing, only the shot has stopped working and Im unsure of what to do. I think that the emotional part of ones body kind of takes over subconsciously sometimes. I know that whats going on in my body is not life threatening, its not cancer, its nothing to be too alarmed about. But I feel it and live with it everyday still... and sometimes I just wish I would only have the job of waking up in the morning and being the engaged, happy, 22 year old that I only want to be.
Instead my femininity has caused such pain, something that seems to be completely unfair. Your body is supposed to work one specific way, so why does it seem to have the ability to make a decision and be stubborn? Gosh!

God only knows.

Please pray for the Neufelds today... they deserve your support

Blessings.

Noah Jonathan Neufeld

February 8th - March 6th, 2008

This little boy is Jonathan and Melissa Neufeld's baby boy. He had Trisomy 13 and beat all the odds concerning this disorder, until last night. Please pray for the Neufeld family and all those who are grieving the passing of this precious little boy.

If you want to see Melissa's blog, please go to the right of my blog and click the Neufeld Family site.

i couldn't help myself but post another engagement shot! even though we were both scrubby that day and it was freeeeeezing cold, the photos are such a sentimental part of that day for me!

so ive been getting a little carried away with the whole "counting down" tickers, the days left until my wedding are 293! BUT can you blame me? really?! i mean im just excited, im just crazy, totally, completely and overwhelmingly excited. yep! its just kinda crazy when i went to the welcome wagon bridal show with Nantina and Becky (two of my wonderful brides maids) sitting there with all the brides around me, watching a fashion show and them asking me what i liked. i actually had to take a moment, sit back and say to myself "O YAH! thats ME, IM the bride! ME!" wow... ive been to many weddings, actually i am surprised as to all the weddings ive been invited to and honored to watch and cry at (yes, im going to cry at my own) its just SO SURREAL to be called "bride" WOW! seriously, its like this time of my life is the most special, wonderful, fun and exciting time.. and i feel at most times that im outside of myself watching it happen. im glad that our engagement is ten months, it gives me some time to enjoy and process, but i love the processing! :) the other day i said to Cam "you know what the next big thing in our lives is going to be?" he looked at me and said "babies" i then said "YAH! BABIES! thats NUTS!" hahahaah... of course you can tell that im not exactly ready for that stage in life, so don't you start asking us when the little Stehrs are going to present themselves, they will come... we want at least three, but just not right away.
i can't express to you how excited i am for this step in my life, i can't start to explain to you how i can close my eyes and envision our living room, our home, our pantry, the way that life will be with all its up and downs, with all its joy, its amazing and wonderful joy! i am THRILLED for my life as MRS. Stehr to begin. the joy is seeping from all places within me.

PRAISE GOD for the blessings HE has given us! its overwhelming :)

so its been a bit since Ive posted... and honestly there really is not much for me to say, other than I just spend a lovely time with Lauren Neufeld, my England friend who is home here in Canada to get married before she returns to England. So my dearest friend who I know reads this blog... thanks a bunch for the wonderful time tonight, especially the wedding talk was delightful! :)
I went to the doctor on Monday, I told her my fears concerning the treatment she has put me on, and now I have to make a decision whether I go for another "dose" on Thursday. She said she wants me to keep going on it... that its only for a short time, she would never put me on it long term, etc... but once again. Im scared. Im totally, 100%, completely scared. So please pray for me and my fear. That God will lead me to the right decision, and that God brings both me and Cam strength to get through whatever there is on the way in terms with all of this. My hope is high and I am doing really good, honestly. Im in pain off and on, Im just generally uncomfortable on a daily basis so just please pray for me in that regards too! Praise the Lord that Endo doesn't turn into cancer (only VERY rare cases) and is not life threatening. Its just really painful, thats all!
As well, Im being referred to the top Endometriosis doctor in all of BC. So please say many prayers for me, that the referral will not take very long at all, and that the doctor and I (who I hear is fantastic) will find the Endo if it's in me somewhere and make me all better. It could be a 6 month wait I heard, which is exhausting and emotional for me to hear, so a quicker referral will be amazing. My Dr said we're skipping the middle man and running straight to the top with this referral, she usually doesn't do this but she said she is going to make an exception for me! (thank you Jesus!)

My engagement and wedding planning have been SO magical, I thank everyone for the cards, love, encouragement, hugs, and joy expressed. Its been the most wonderful time for me... I am amazed at how happy everyone is for us! I am extatic myself (of course!) and very excited to get all my planning done. Everything is so surreal. We are having our wedding at Columbia Bible College for all who don't know, we met there, fell in love there, so its PERFECT! We're even getting Gerald to make his famous Turkey dinner with all the trimmings. I have my decor and photographer booked! and this week we're working on getting some invitation ideas, then its registry once we're out of school, along with honeymoon booking and finding a florist. I feel like Im ontop of everything, yet I feel like Im second guessing myself as well. I have a lot of help though, so Im not worried at all.
The latest though is... do I want red in the color scheme? hmmm.... grrrrrr!!!!!!!!

As well, I decided Im going to call Cam my fiance every and any chance I get for the next Nine months and three weeks :)

Blessings!

O... and yes, Ive been trying to get a decent picture of my ring to show you here online, unfortunately as Nantina said "the photos don't do justice" and you'll just have to wait to track me down, take my left hand and peek yourself. Here is another cute pic of me when I tried a photo shoot with my new "bling" Once again you can't exactly see the beauty of it... but it really is all its cracked up to be!!!

Trouble arrives in measures, and we stack it up real high, until we're convinced, we have no reason to try. If you feel defeated, you're absolutely wrong, for if you follow your dream, you could never lose for long. Ignore the minor set-backs that pile up and trouble you,
or you will build a mountain, out of the stones hurled at you. The future holds great promise, your destiny unknown, but God is always helping, and you're never alone. Soar bravely toward your goal. Let nothing darken the way. You can change your tomorrow,
if you seek your dream today.
posted by Candy15

I have joined an Endometriosis support site which has helped me more than I can express in regards to understanding more about the disease and the people who experience it. Especially with all the different ways that people get pain, the information sites aren't exaggerating when they say that it is different for everyone. It truly is, but that is nothing but comforting because I have read some truly heart breaking testimonies. I continue to be as positive as possible, its easier some days, and actually its a lot easier just in general than it had been before. As well, God has blessed me with such supportive friends, family and well, my most supportive fiance, who even though he has no idea what to say or do to help, tries his best anyways. Yet, I appreciate my friend Kortney Story the most, who has encouraged me again and again that "its really not that bad, it could be worse" and she is right!!! Its do-able and thats the most important thing to keep in mind. Even through the physically painful experiences.
I have another doctors appointment on Monday for a referral to a specialist which I will hopefully see in April or May when Im out of school. Please pray that the referral goes smoothly and quickly so that I can get on the right track and in a more functioning capacity soon. The fatigue and headaches/body aches, cramping are overwhelming a lot of the time and interfere with my studies, daily life and mostly sleep. Which is obviously not good. Im so thankful to be able to take a year off this next school year to take care of my self and save up for my new life as Mrs. Stehr.

The poem above is inspirational to me, and the picture is one that was taken at my roommate, Traci's birthday at the Old Spaghetti factory. The night that some random waitress of ours flirted with Cam all night long! (she even touched his arm!) I laughed my little heart out... I've got the ring, so Im not concerned.

love and blessings to all!