Lately I've been thinking how important it is that I stress to you how amazing it was for me to have a doula be apart of my pregnancy and labor experience. I just recently expressed to Cam how much I want both Heidi and Kortney to be my doulas for my next labor and delivery. Granted if they are available whenever that may be.
Now you might think, "why on earth would I need a doula?". And granted maybe you don't, but I'm sure thrilled that I had kortney throughout my pregnancy and Heidi in my delivery room and this is why:
If your pregnancy is your first and even if your a fanatic researcher (like me) you'll still have questions. You'll still have no real clue of what to expect. And to have someone there for you that's educated in all things pregnancy, birth and labor is incredibly helpful. When you're not sure that babe is kicking enough in one day or not sure if that stuff in your panties is your mucus plug or not sure if those pains are true contractions, a doula can help! Kortney was there for me through all of that. I could text or FB message her and in a very short time I'd get a response. Granted I've known her about ten years or so and we're friends, BUT no doctor or midwife will give you that kind of attention outside your scheduled appointment time. Trust me!
And if your pregnancy is your first then you absolutely have no clue what-so-ever what to expect during labor and delivery. However, a doula does! They know exactly how to help with pain management (& husband management), they'll know your birth plan and how to guide you to meet your goals in labor. They know what to look for in your body language that could indicate how your cervix is doing. They know A LOT more than you do with what's happening and how to help. They are there your whole labor and birth and are a huge support system for you and your hubby. Cam actually got to nap during my labor because I had Heidi. When the scary clot thing happened Heidi took care of us both to ensure we were okay. Heidi knew our wishes against the eye drops and asked the nurse to ask permission from me before administering them to Edison. Heidi took pictures of Edison's first moments, she was amazing and an essential part of Edison's birth story.
So I highly recommend that you seek out a doula and add her to your birth team! I know for certain that I'll never birth without one. They are worth every single penny you pay for their service. Just make sure that you connect with your doula and adore her (like I adore both of mine). Because this doula of yours will see you in one of your most vulnerable states at one of the most incredible moments of your life. And she will absolutely be seeing you naked! Because like all my mommy friends know, when your in labor, you're naked!
I should mention as well that the Community Birth Program out of the Jim Pattison outpatient care & surgery center provides doulas in their program. Which means that the doulas who work with them are free of charge to you! And honestly, I can't say enough good things about this birth program it's fantastic!!! I recommend them to all my friends who are pregnant or considering a pregnancy. I'll be going back to them for when Bubba #2 comes along, thats for sure.
Now lets just hope that Bubba #2 doesn't come along quite so soon shall we? This momma needs some time.
N.
And if you're wondering more about how my doulas helped me out then don't hesitate to ask me!! I'm more than willing to share :)
Monday, June 10, 2013
Sunday, June 09, 2013
It's a boy!!
Back in December I remember writing a post I titled "What if..." and in it I expressed my thoughts and fears regarding Bubbas gender. At that time I was back and forth in my thinking that I was absolutely going to have a boy and for some reason that thought made me terrified that I'd never experience having a girl.
It's amazing what you think about throughout pregnancy and how your hormones can truly affect your emotions. Even now four weeks after delivering Edison I still have some very strong hormonal moments. Some of which I'd rather not share (pretty stupid what can make me cry these days) but others have everything to do with how much I love my son.
That being said, I'm not sad that my pregnancy resulted in a boy. I'm not grieving the fact that I have yet to realize if my life will produce a daughter. I'm actually over the moon happy and grateful for Edison and excited for the relationship I get to build with him. Some days it freaks me out that he'll get older and might not want me to be apart of his life. He may get married to a woman that prefers her family over ours. He may move far away for a job and never call me (oh the things I think about). Just recently I talked to my mom about some of these fears (she's an expert since she has two sons), and I realized that as long as I love Edison, respect Edison, allow Edison to be who he is and encourage him to make decisions for himself and then support those decisions. Then I have nothing to worry about because our relationship then will be built on a solid foundation.
I'll have to let go, even now I realize he belongs to God, he's a gift. He's not mine to control, not mine to hold onto forever, not mine to manipulate to do what I wish. He will become his own individual with wants, needs, ambitions, desires and it's my job to love, to let go, to respect, to support, to teach (gently), to be whatever he needs. And if I do those things, if I get it right, then there should be no fear for our future relationship. And no fear for any other future relationship with any other child I bear regardless of their gender.
Am I still afraid of never having a girl? Not today. But if you ask me again when I'm in the midst of my final pregnancy and it's my third boy, my answer may change slightly. My prayer now may be for me to have a daughter one day, but if I'm blessed with only sons then I am still blessed. To have two or three or four Edison's in my life would still be my greatest accomplishment and my greatest joy!
When Cam told me in the delivery room that "it's a boy!" I remember crying and saying "I just knew it". And I remember falling so deeply in love with him that all those moments of anxiety regarding his gender were lost and forgotten.
My son is exactly who I was supposed to birth and to me he's perfect!
N.
It's amazing what you think about throughout pregnancy and how your hormones can truly affect your emotions. Even now four weeks after delivering Edison I still have some very strong hormonal moments. Some of which I'd rather not share (pretty stupid what can make me cry these days) but others have everything to do with how much I love my son.
That being said, I'm not sad that my pregnancy resulted in a boy. I'm not grieving the fact that I have yet to realize if my life will produce a daughter. I'm actually over the moon happy and grateful for Edison and excited for the relationship I get to build with him. Some days it freaks me out that he'll get older and might not want me to be apart of his life. He may get married to a woman that prefers her family over ours. He may move far away for a job and never call me (oh the things I think about). Just recently I talked to my mom about some of these fears (she's an expert since she has two sons), and I realized that as long as I love Edison, respect Edison, allow Edison to be who he is and encourage him to make decisions for himself and then support those decisions. Then I have nothing to worry about because our relationship then will be built on a solid foundation.
I'll have to let go, even now I realize he belongs to God, he's a gift. He's not mine to control, not mine to hold onto forever, not mine to manipulate to do what I wish. He will become his own individual with wants, needs, ambitions, desires and it's my job to love, to let go, to respect, to support, to teach (gently), to be whatever he needs. And if I do those things, if I get it right, then there should be no fear for our future relationship. And no fear for any other future relationship with any other child I bear regardless of their gender.
Am I still afraid of never having a girl? Not today. But if you ask me again when I'm in the midst of my final pregnancy and it's my third boy, my answer may change slightly. My prayer now may be for me to have a daughter one day, but if I'm blessed with only sons then I am still blessed. To have two or three or four Edison's in my life would still be my greatest accomplishment and my greatest joy!
When Cam told me in the delivery room that "it's a boy!" I remember crying and saying "I just knew it". And I remember falling so deeply in love with him that all those moments of anxiety regarding his gender were lost and forgotten.
My son is exactly who I was supposed to birth and to me he's perfect!
N.
Monday, June 03, 2013
It's okay...
I need to keep reminding myself that the way I'm doing things here with Edison is OKAY! That it's okay for me to take my time venturing out in the world with my baby. That it's okay for me to spend majority of my days at home. That it's okay for people to come to me to visit. That it's okay for me to take my time and do what I feel is best. That it's okay to take it slow, just like what all the doctors and nurses have been telling me to do. I'm not being a bad mother or a sucky lazy person to go the pace I'm going. I don't need to be comparing my life with other women who do things differently. I don't need to feel guilty or think of myself as a failure.
Right now I'm feeding my son who wants to eat on a consistent basis. So much so that my boobs are always being sucked on. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and nervous still to tackle things alone without help from Cam. I'm still feeling dizzy at times and weak and I feel it's okay to lean on Cam right now. Although I think going on walks around my neighborhood would be a good thing to start doing by myself.
I've been independent and self sufficient so much of my life. I took a hit when my grandparents died but have gotten back to that place of secure independence. But now I feel scared that I'm slipping back into dependence on others to get myself out and moving again. I honestly feel nervous to do the mommy thing alone right now. That I'll somehow mess up, that he'll start crying and I won't know what to do and I'll be seen as a fraud. It feels as though the fear of it all has defeated me and kept me home. Yet, other factors such as exhaustion is a cause for my home time as well. It's hard to distinguish what is an excuse to hide the truth and what it is I'm actually experiencing. I don't believe that I'm walking the path of depression but I'm sure it looks differently for everyone. What's scary is that I'm not sure what it looks like to me.
Once again I need to keep in mind that "comparison is the killer of joy". And I'm experiencing so much joy with my little man! I'm holding onto his smiles, our quiet times when he eats, my precious time holding him when he sleeps. All of which will change much too soon. There is a lot of happiness here.
So maybe if you end up coming over instead of staying in we could go out for a little while? To the Starbucks maybe? And maybe you can encourage me when my baby cries by saying that I'm doing good. Because sometimes a new mother just needs a friend to help her take the first step and hold her through the fear that it's all going to be so very overwhelming. And I might need your help to remember that it's okay and this won't last forever.
N.
Right now I'm feeding my son who wants to eat on a consistent basis. So much so that my boobs are always being sucked on. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and nervous still to tackle things alone without help from Cam. I'm still feeling dizzy at times and weak and I feel it's okay to lean on Cam right now. Although I think going on walks around my neighborhood would be a good thing to start doing by myself.
I've been independent and self sufficient so much of my life. I took a hit when my grandparents died but have gotten back to that place of secure independence. But now I feel scared that I'm slipping back into dependence on others to get myself out and moving again. I honestly feel nervous to do the mommy thing alone right now. That I'll somehow mess up, that he'll start crying and I won't know what to do and I'll be seen as a fraud. It feels as though the fear of it all has defeated me and kept me home. Yet, other factors such as exhaustion is a cause for my home time as well. It's hard to distinguish what is an excuse to hide the truth and what it is I'm actually experiencing. I don't believe that I'm walking the path of depression but I'm sure it looks differently for everyone. What's scary is that I'm not sure what it looks like to me.
Once again I need to keep in mind that "comparison is the killer of joy". And I'm experiencing so much joy with my little man! I'm holding onto his smiles, our quiet times when he eats, my precious time holding him when he sleeps. All of which will change much too soon. There is a lot of happiness here.
So maybe if you end up coming over instead of staying in we could go out for a little while? To the Starbucks maybe? And maybe you can encourage me when my baby cries by saying that I'm doing good. Because sometimes a new mother just needs a friend to help her take the first step and hold her through the fear that it's all going to be so very overwhelming. And I might need your help to remember that it's okay and this won't last forever.
N.
Friday, May 24, 2013
The days and weeks before Edison came I remember feeling inadequate. That I wouldn't know what to do, how to do it, how could I possibly be a mother? All the sudden it seemed so overwhelming and all consuming. So I distracted myself with the labor process, I meditated a lot of my anxieties away with prayer and by the time Edison made his appearance those feelings were gone. Now in it's place I'm overwhelmed with love for him.
On Mother's Day, when I was discharged I remember standing at the door to my room staring at the bed. Tears formed in my eyes as I flashed back to the moments of the day before as I birthed my son. In that room, #219 my life changed forever and the most incredible moments took place. I didn't feel ready to leave that behind.
Being a mother means more to me than I expected. I'm definitely still weepy, looking at my son I can easily start crying tears of joy! I think about the future, he will grow up. He'll start to look different, walk, talk, read, get into mischief. He'll eventually go to school, play sports (probably), drive, grow super tall and start dating. One day he'll make me a mother-in-law and maybe even a grandma! YIKES! But today... right now, my son is falling asleep as he breast feeds and I get to kiss his cheek and fall deeper in love with him.
This is going to go by quickly, and I really don't want to miss a moment of it.
N.
On Mother's Day, when I was discharged I remember standing at the door to my room staring at the bed. Tears formed in my eyes as I flashed back to the moments of the day before as I birthed my son. In that room, #219 my life changed forever and the most incredible moments took place. I didn't feel ready to leave that behind.
Being a mother means more to me than I expected. I'm definitely still weepy, looking at my son I can easily start crying tears of joy! I think about the future, he will grow up. He'll start to look different, walk, talk, read, get into mischief. He'll eventually go to school, play sports (probably), drive, grow super tall and start dating. One day he'll make me a mother-in-law and maybe even a grandma! YIKES! But today... right now, my son is falling asleep as he breast feeds and I get to kiss his cheek and fall deeper in love with him.
This is going to go by quickly, and I really don't want to miss a moment of it.
N.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Breast feeding, it's hard!!
I was so naive, even after reading book after book I thought that I'd be perfectly capable of breast feeding right from the start, no problem! I mean, why wouldn't I be able to? I have boobs, he is a baby who needs my milk, stick baby on breast and done! Well, for some women it truly is that simple (& if that's you I don't need to hear it). But for others, like myself, it doesn't come so easy right from the start and we need to work at it. And it hurts, a lot! Both emotionally and physically. Which isn't exactly the greatest when your already hormonal and weepy.
Last week Cam and I saw a lactation specialist and if I have advice for any new mom struggling its this: DO NOT be ashamed to ask for help! It's much better for you emotionally to seek a pro and learn exactly what's wrong and how to fix it and what's normal and how to live with it. Because believe it or not breast feeding is HARD. I've been told that it doesn't stay this difficult forever but when your on day three and your milk is delayed (because of your traumatic delivery) and your newborn wants on your breast and is screaming and hasn't peed all day and your hysterical thinking that something is horribly wrong, you'll want to quit. But instead hold onto the truth like I have that "it gets easier". Because all the women who have told me that can't all be wrong at the exact same time.
Also, don't be ashamed if you find yourself doing what you thought you never would do. I think many if us have been there. Edison has slept in bed with me many times now. Co-sleeping was not something I was going to be flexible about, I did NOT want him in our bed. But when cluster feeding is apart of the equation and you're slowly loosing sleep then you'll bend your preconceived notions of how life with babe will be. And if you don't, then that's your path and I'm placing no judgement on you.
All I know for myself is that cluster feeding took me by HUGE surprise. When I was pregnant I had a few conversations with my doula about breast feeding but never physically saw anyone in "action". I never got to witness the ins and outs of everyday life with a tiny human and it's mother who breast fed. So how in the world was I supposed to really know what I was getting myself into? I didn't. I didn't understand that a newborn could want the breast so vigorously, wanting nothing more than to suckle for comfort. I've had Edison "feed" some days for up to five or six hours at a time with very few short breaks in between. So we introduced a soother which has saved my nipples but is not always effective in satisfying his need for boob.
So new moms out there, pregnant friends of mine (and there are many). BE WARNED! lol, breast feeding is beautiful and wonderful and I absolutely love the connection I have with my son because of it. But please educate yourself as much as you can before diving into it. Please take a class if you can to prepare, ask questions (I'll answer any questions) and be kind to yourself as you learn. Because there may come a night where you find yourself crying uncontrollable tears holding your baby who is screaming for milk you have yet to produce and you'll be exhausted and you'll feel defeated and you'll want to throw in the towel. But know instead that you'll be ok, babe will be ok and whatever decision you make will be the best for you. I decided to keep going and honestly, it has gotten easier. It wasn't easy right away, it's not even easy now. But it's getting better because I'm learning, I'm educating myself about boobs, milk and newborns and I'm making the conscious effort to not give up on something that is important to me.
Breast feeding is not all I thought it would be, it's harder than I expected but it's also more wonderful too! And that makes the hard parts easier, at least my couch is comfy :)
N.
And just because he's the biggest sweetie, another pic of my son to show off to you! He's changing already!
Last week Cam and I saw a lactation specialist and if I have advice for any new mom struggling its this: DO NOT be ashamed to ask for help! It's much better for you emotionally to seek a pro and learn exactly what's wrong and how to fix it and what's normal and how to live with it. Because believe it or not breast feeding is HARD. I've been told that it doesn't stay this difficult forever but when your on day three and your milk is delayed (because of your traumatic delivery) and your newborn wants on your breast and is screaming and hasn't peed all day and your hysterical thinking that something is horribly wrong, you'll want to quit. But instead hold onto the truth like I have that "it gets easier". Because all the women who have told me that can't all be wrong at the exact same time.
Also, don't be ashamed if you find yourself doing what you thought you never would do. I think many if us have been there. Edison has slept in bed with me many times now. Co-sleeping was not something I was going to be flexible about, I did NOT want him in our bed. But when cluster feeding is apart of the equation and you're slowly loosing sleep then you'll bend your preconceived notions of how life with babe will be. And if you don't, then that's your path and I'm placing no judgement on you.
All I know for myself is that cluster feeding took me by HUGE surprise. When I was pregnant I had a few conversations with my doula about breast feeding but never physically saw anyone in "action". I never got to witness the ins and outs of everyday life with a tiny human and it's mother who breast fed. So how in the world was I supposed to really know what I was getting myself into? I didn't. I didn't understand that a newborn could want the breast so vigorously, wanting nothing more than to suckle for comfort. I've had Edison "feed" some days for up to five or six hours at a time with very few short breaks in between. So we introduced a soother which has saved my nipples but is not always effective in satisfying his need for boob.
So new moms out there, pregnant friends of mine (and there are many). BE WARNED! lol, breast feeding is beautiful and wonderful and I absolutely love the connection I have with my son because of it. But please educate yourself as much as you can before diving into it. Please take a class if you can to prepare, ask questions (I'll answer any questions) and be kind to yourself as you learn. Because there may come a night where you find yourself crying uncontrollable tears holding your baby who is screaming for milk you have yet to produce and you'll be exhausted and you'll feel defeated and you'll want to throw in the towel. But know instead that you'll be ok, babe will be ok and whatever decision you make will be the best for you. I decided to keep going and honestly, it has gotten easier. It wasn't easy right away, it's not even easy now. But it's getting better because I'm learning, I'm educating myself about boobs, milk and newborns and I'm making the conscious effort to not give up on something that is important to me.
Breast feeding is not all I thought it would be, it's harder than I expected but it's also more wonderful too! And that makes the hard parts easier, at least my couch is comfy :)
N.
And just because he's the biggest sweetie, another pic of my son to show off to you! He's changing already!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
One week post delivery
It's weird not doing a belly update with all the new weekly experiences of my pregnancy. That's long gone now, my belly is deflated and in it's place I have a beautiful baby boy to love on. I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the whole world.
But since I want to keep this blog as an updated testimony to my new life as a mommy, I'll update it in a different way.
Edison is eating like CRAZY! Who knew about cluster feeds? Not I! I'm breast feeding exclusively which I love, but it's been rough. My milk didn't come in until day five because of my birth trauma, poor Edi was the one to suffer and I was an emotional wreck! So we went and saw a lactation specialist who was amazing and spent a whole hour with us. I was incredibly grateful to her for her time. She made me feel like everything is normal and okay. She reassured me that I'm doing great (YAY!). So my confidence in continuing has increased dramatically!
Edi has also got his days and nights mixed up which has caused us some loooong sleepless nights. Nothing we can't handle but we're working on switching that around.
He's the biggest cutie, super content, wide eyed and such a suckler. He'll stay on my boob all day if I let him (I don't). I love him to pieces and can't stop staring :)
As for me, see picture above! That's 41 weeks pregnant next to today, one week post baby. I decided to step on my scale this morning to see how much I've lost and where my staring point is for my weight loss goals. I was STUNNED! It said I LOST 31.1lbs! I don't even understand how that's possible, but the scale doesn't lie right?! I'm beyond thrilled, I've basically lost all the pregnancy weight in a week! And my belly although I didn't escape the mommy bulge and stretch marks, is a testament to my son and I'm grateful for it.
My recovery is going well, I'm taking it easy like doc ordered and I'm seeing my strength come back. We're slowly starting to have visitors over, family is first on Tuesday and then we're going from there. So please, if you're interested in visiting let me know (again if you have already) and we'll start talking dates!
I miss my mom & dad, they're away in Germany now looking after my great aunt Lina's estate (she died in April at the age of 109 1/2). They'll be back soon but they didn't get much time with Edi before they left and that makes me sad. But I'm sure the German chocolate they come home with will make me feel better!
Alright, bed time. Wish me luck that I actually get sleep tonight! :)
N.
But since I want to keep this blog as an updated testimony to my new life as a mommy, I'll update it in a different way.
Edison is eating like CRAZY! Who knew about cluster feeds? Not I! I'm breast feeding exclusively which I love, but it's been rough. My milk didn't come in until day five because of my birth trauma, poor Edi was the one to suffer and I was an emotional wreck! So we went and saw a lactation specialist who was amazing and spent a whole hour with us. I was incredibly grateful to her for her time. She made me feel like everything is normal and okay. She reassured me that I'm doing great (YAY!). So my confidence in continuing has increased dramatically!
Edi has also got his days and nights mixed up which has caused us some loooong sleepless nights. Nothing we can't handle but we're working on switching that around.
He's the biggest cutie, super content, wide eyed and such a suckler. He'll stay on my boob all day if I let him (I don't). I love him to pieces and can't stop staring :)
As for me, see picture above! That's 41 weeks pregnant next to today, one week post baby. I decided to step on my scale this morning to see how much I've lost and where my staring point is for my weight loss goals. I was STUNNED! It said I LOST 31.1lbs! I don't even understand how that's possible, but the scale doesn't lie right?! I'm beyond thrilled, I've basically lost all the pregnancy weight in a week! And my belly although I didn't escape the mommy bulge and stretch marks, is a testament to my son and I'm grateful for it.
My recovery is going well, I'm taking it easy like doc ordered and I'm seeing my strength come back. We're slowly starting to have visitors over, family is first on Tuesday and then we're going from there. So please, if you're interested in visiting let me know (again if you have already) and we'll start talking dates!
I miss my mom & dad, they're away in Germany now looking after my great aunt Lina's estate (she died in April at the age of 109 1/2). They'll be back soon but they didn't get much time with Edi before they left and that makes me sad. But I'm sure the German chocolate they come home with will make me feel better!
Alright, bed time. Wish me luck that I actually get sleep tonight! :)
N.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Edison Lyle's birth story
Edi is happily in the arms of his daddy so I thought I'd take a second and write his birth story.
It all started on Wednesday May 8th when I had a meeting with the new doula who took me on last minute. I've known her (Heidi) for years so I felt perfectly comfortable having her be apart of my birth. Kortney had a trip scheduled to Disney land on Friday the 10th and would unfortunately miss Edison's delivery so Heidi was such a blessing!
Wednesday we tried at home, natural induction techniques to try and avoid the scheduled medical induction for Friday. We started at around 4pm and gave up that night at around 1am. It was disappointing to say the least. I felt a lot of cramping and movement but nothing took, Edi was as happy as could be inside me. We continued the natural induction all through Thursday, I walked for probably eight hours straight! I felt defeated and started doubting my body until 11am Friday morning!!! When the cramps switched to true contractions.
They got stronger and stronger throughout the morning and when the hospital called regarding my induction I informed them I was in labor hoping I didn't need to go in. Unfortunately though I still needed to go in to confirm my labor (by this time I was certain it was labor). It still felt like annoying menstural cramps which was the easiest part!
At around 3pm we were at the hospital and in triage, I was given a gown and laid happily in bed. Before I knew it I was being checked out and they confirmed I was indeed in labor but sadly only 1cm dilated. I was hooked up to a fetal monitor which was protocol and we discussed my coming back into triage after a few hours for penicillin because I was group B positive. I was experiencing stronger contractions at this time but then all the sudden there was a "pop" and a lot of water! My waters broke and I got Cam to get the doctor back, she confirmed and instead of heading home right then I was given an IV. the nurse who did my IV sucked! She put it in my left hand and went through the vein, it hurt SO bad! She then pulled it out and put it in the right hand instead and then hooked me to penicillin. After that dose I was sent home and told to come back for another at 8:45pm.
By this time my contractions picked up in intensity. I got home and immediately got in the tub, it was AMAZING! I was there for a solid two hours and time just flew.
I have no clue how I accomplished it but once the intensity started I put my mind into a state of relaxation. I was in my own world, I didn't talk, I had my eyes closed, my body still and just let go. I allowed my body to be consumed by the pain, breathed and moaned deeply through them. I may have looked peaceful (ask Cam & Heidi they said it didn't look like I was in any pain at all) but I was in crazy amounts of pain. I even sort of slept between my contractions, my years of horrible menstrual pain hell paid off in labor!
So I went back to the hospital for my second dose of penicillin we were dropped off and never expected to stay. When we got there the doctors changed shifts and I was with a different midwife. I was expecting to go home to labor because that's what I wanted and discussed with the other midwife but this new midwife wasn't having any of it. I was admitted and directed to my room (which was amazing!). I was in no state to argue so I followed. She explained that because I was group B positive, had my waters broken and not far along (remember, just 1 cm) I had to stay. I immediately got hooked to the penicillin and stripped for the tub. I spent about 8 hours in total in the tub which is crazy to me cause it felt like no time at all. I had to get out a couple times for checks and it seemed that I was staying at 6 cm for far too long.
The midwife was so annoying and constantly offered me drugs and talked oxytocin. It was hard to tune her out whenever she came in to talk to me. I did NOT want oxytocin or drugs but quickly realized that oxytocin was in my immediate future. I asked for time to think about it and talked it over with Heidi. All I knew was that oxytocin meant stronger contractions and more pain. I was already starting to loose control and focus so I knew that with oxytocin I'd be exhausted at transition and even worse when it came to push so the answer and compromise to me was an epidural if I agreed to oxytocin. When I got checked the next time I had stayed still at a 6 and so I agreed to oxytocin.
The OB was brought in my room and ordered oxytocin at 3:20am I heard them talking about it (they never really talked to me directly) and discussed that the oxytocin was to start before I got my epidural. So in my pain I spoke up, "I'm getting my epidural before you give me oxytocin!". The nurse who was incredible was the only one who listened to me and waited to administer the oxytocin until after my epidural was given. My epidural was delayed because the only one to administer it was in a surgery so I waited and so did my awesome nurse. Once the oxytocin was hooked up to me it was three hours after the OB ordered it and she was NOT happy about it. My nurse got in trouble and was asked to discuss what happened out in the hall. I felt horrible for her but loved her and what she did for me, she actually LISTENED to me! I made sure to thank her for giving me the epidural first. I wanted to hug her!
I knew that my favorite doctor and who I was seeing for prenatal care was next on shift. I was thrilled when she came into my room and took over my care. The epidural, although I thought I'd never want it, really made me happy and I actually enjoyed my labor experience. It was so great to be me again and enjoy what was happening around me. My oxytocin was consistently increasing because my body wasn't producing strong enough contractions. I was progressing but still really slowly. Edison was even napping in my womb during labor, several times actually!
Once the pressure started and I could feel contractions with the epidural I knew we were in business. I started pushing at around 12:50pm and gave it all I got. I had the nurse (they changed nurses and this new one was just as amazing as the night one) tell me how amazing I was doing. I had Cam count for me, my doula was helping with my feet, my mom was there watching, doctor delivering and nurse on my right coaching (from what I remember). I pushed and pushed and it was the crowning part that hurt like CRAZY! Yikes that was the worst part. But then in an instant my son was out and out on top of me. My mom saw that it was a boy right away but Cam was the one to actually tell me it was a boy. Just like I thought all along, I was 100% expecting a boy. We said right away that his name is Edison Lyle and my mom was crying and immediately said how beautiful the name was. Cam actually cut the cord even though he never intended to and I'm sure Cam saw far more than what he wanted to. I pushed on my left side with my right leg up on the bar and Cam was sitting next to me on my left so he had full view (poor guy).
Then all the scary stuff started that you can read in my previous post. But even though that happened, I'm still very happy with the way my son came into this world. I wanted to do my best, listen to my body, respect myself and my needs and make decisions that were right for me at the time. This was MY labor and MY sons birth. I understand that others have their opinions of how labor should go and I respect your opinions so please respect MY decisions and MY labor experience.
Will I do this again? Absolutely!!!!! Obviously not right away but definitely soon after Edison is one. It was such an empowering and amazing moment that I'll remember for the rest of my life.
I love my son more than I can express.
N.
It all started on Wednesday May 8th when I had a meeting with the new doula who took me on last minute. I've known her (Heidi) for years so I felt perfectly comfortable having her be apart of my birth. Kortney had a trip scheduled to Disney land on Friday the 10th and would unfortunately miss Edison's delivery so Heidi was such a blessing!
Wednesday we tried at home, natural induction techniques to try and avoid the scheduled medical induction for Friday. We started at around 4pm and gave up that night at around 1am. It was disappointing to say the least. I felt a lot of cramping and movement but nothing took, Edi was as happy as could be inside me. We continued the natural induction all through Thursday, I walked for probably eight hours straight! I felt defeated and started doubting my body until 11am Friday morning!!! When the cramps switched to true contractions.
They got stronger and stronger throughout the morning and when the hospital called regarding my induction I informed them I was in labor hoping I didn't need to go in. Unfortunately though I still needed to go in to confirm my labor (by this time I was certain it was labor). It still felt like annoying menstural cramps which was the easiest part!
At around 3pm we were at the hospital and in triage, I was given a gown and laid happily in bed. Before I knew it I was being checked out and they confirmed I was indeed in labor but sadly only 1cm dilated. I was hooked up to a fetal monitor which was protocol and we discussed my coming back into triage after a few hours for penicillin because I was group B positive. I was experiencing stronger contractions at this time but then all the sudden there was a "pop" and a lot of water! My waters broke and I got Cam to get the doctor back, she confirmed and instead of heading home right then I was given an IV. the nurse who did my IV sucked! She put it in my left hand and went through the vein, it hurt SO bad! She then pulled it out and put it in the right hand instead and then hooked me to penicillin. After that dose I was sent home and told to come back for another at 8:45pm.
By this time my contractions picked up in intensity. I got home and immediately got in the tub, it was AMAZING! I was there for a solid two hours and time just flew.
I have no clue how I accomplished it but once the intensity started I put my mind into a state of relaxation. I was in my own world, I didn't talk, I had my eyes closed, my body still and just let go. I allowed my body to be consumed by the pain, breathed and moaned deeply through them. I may have looked peaceful (ask Cam & Heidi they said it didn't look like I was in any pain at all) but I was in crazy amounts of pain. I even sort of slept between my contractions, my years of horrible menstrual pain hell paid off in labor!
So I went back to the hospital for my second dose of penicillin we were dropped off and never expected to stay. When we got there the doctors changed shifts and I was with a different midwife. I was expecting to go home to labor because that's what I wanted and discussed with the other midwife but this new midwife wasn't having any of it. I was admitted and directed to my room (which was amazing!). I was in no state to argue so I followed. She explained that because I was group B positive, had my waters broken and not far along (remember, just 1 cm) I had to stay. I immediately got hooked to the penicillin and stripped for the tub. I spent about 8 hours in total in the tub which is crazy to me cause it felt like no time at all. I had to get out a couple times for checks and it seemed that I was staying at 6 cm for far too long.
The midwife was so annoying and constantly offered me drugs and talked oxytocin. It was hard to tune her out whenever she came in to talk to me. I did NOT want oxytocin or drugs but quickly realized that oxytocin was in my immediate future. I asked for time to think about it and talked it over with Heidi. All I knew was that oxytocin meant stronger contractions and more pain. I was already starting to loose control and focus so I knew that with oxytocin I'd be exhausted at transition and even worse when it came to push so the answer and compromise to me was an epidural if I agreed to oxytocin. When I got checked the next time I had stayed still at a 6 and so I agreed to oxytocin.
The OB was brought in my room and ordered oxytocin at 3:20am I heard them talking about it (they never really talked to me directly) and discussed that the oxytocin was to start before I got my epidural. So in my pain I spoke up, "I'm getting my epidural before you give me oxytocin!". The nurse who was incredible was the only one who listened to me and waited to administer the oxytocin until after my epidural was given. My epidural was delayed because the only one to administer it was in a surgery so I waited and so did my awesome nurse. Once the oxytocin was hooked up to me it was three hours after the OB ordered it and she was NOT happy about it. My nurse got in trouble and was asked to discuss what happened out in the hall. I felt horrible for her but loved her and what she did for me, she actually LISTENED to me! I made sure to thank her for giving me the epidural first. I wanted to hug her!
I knew that my favorite doctor and who I was seeing for prenatal care was next on shift. I was thrilled when she came into my room and took over my care. The epidural, although I thought I'd never want it, really made me happy and I actually enjoyed my labor experience. It was so great to be me again and enjoy what was happening around me. My oxytocin was consistently increasing because my body wasn't producing strong enough contractions. I was progressing but still really slowly. Edison was even napping in my womb during labor, several times actually!
Once the pressure started and I could feel contractions with the epidural I knew we were in business. I started pushing at around 12:50pm and gave it all I got. I had the nurse (they changed nurses and this new one was just as amazing as the night one) tell me how amazing I was doing. I had Cam count for me, my doula was helping with my feet, my mom was there watching, doctor delivering and nurse on my right coaching (from what I remember). I pushed and pushed and it was the crowning part that hurt like CRAZY! Yikes that was the worst part. But then in an instant my son was out and out on top of me. My mom saw that it was a boy right away but Cam was the one to actually tell me it was a boy. Just like I thought all along, I was 100% expecting a boy. We said right away that his name is Edison Lyle and my mom was crying and immediately said how beautiful the name was. Cam actually cut the cord even though he never intended to and I'm sure Cam saw far more than what he wanted to. I pushed on my left side with my right leg up on the bar and Cam was sitting next to me on my left so he had full view (poor guy).
Then all the scary stuff started that you can read in my previous post. But even though that happened, I'm still very happy with the way my son came into this world. I wanted to do my best, listen to my body, respect myself and my needs and make decisions that were right for me at the time. This was MY labor and MY sons birth. I understand that others have their opinions of how labor should go and I respect your opinions so please respect MY decisions and MY labor experience.
Will I do this again? Absolutely!!!!! Obviously not right away but definitely soon after Edison is one. It was such an empowering and amazing moment that I'll remember for the rest of my life.
I love my son more than I can express.
N.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
I did it! but not without a scare (part of Edison's birth story)
The day I had my baby was the most magical day, I'm on cloud nine and so in love with my son. He's perfect, he's super cute, content, relaxed, happy! Just overall amazing!
My son, Edison Lyle
I promise I will write Edison's full birth story but for now I wanted to share a portion of it.
Moments after Edison was born I started bleeding, like A LOT! Actually, three times the amount of blood than the average woman is supposed to loose. It was a very scary situation, the doctors didn't know if my bleeding was coming from a tear or my uterus. So my doc who delivered Edi called in the OB and all the sudden all the nurses on the floor were in my room. The OB, Dr. Price (amazing man!) established that the bleeding was coming from my uterus and they proceeded to push hard on my stomach which HURT! I started to cry and panic (thanks to Heidi for bringing me back to calm) wondering what was happening. I thought Edi was in trouble cause he only whimpered out of the womb, I had no clue it was me they were worried about. All the sudden Dr. Price came to my side and calmly made it clear to me that I wasn't okay and either I suck like I've never sucked before on laughing gas right now or I get wheeled in ASAP for surgery. They had to stop the bleeding which meant aggressive pushes on my stomach which was unbelievably painful (apparently there was even blood on the stool in the room, blah!). So right then I grabbed the gas and sucked and they pushed and it was hell but they got the clots out! Literally PRAISE GOD!
I was on that table for what felt like forever (2 hours) after the birth and all I wanted was my baby, I had no clue I was walking the road of a possible blood transfusion.
After they got the clots, the scare was over and I was finally stitched up, cleaned up, hooked to more Oxytocin and got to hold my boy! My gorgeous, handsome stud of a man. Little did I know that my doctor was explaining the whole situation to my parents at this time out in the hall and then asked them not to tell me the severity of what had happened. They kept me over night and watched me like a hawk because if my morning blood work didn't come back good I'd need a blood transfusion for sure Mother's Day morning. Again praise God that the results were good and I was discharged to spend a great Mother's Day evening at home!
The reason I post this now is because my doc made it clear that my recovery will be much longer than the average woman's. It will take my body months to recover fully from the blood loss. I'm supposed to allow others to help me on a consistent basis and not be shy to ask for help. I need to sleep lots, take an iron supplement and drink tons of water. My body will NOT spring back from this quickly, it will be SLOW, so very slow.
So please, if you're wanting to meet my son I'm thrilled but you must be patient with me. Please don't stay over for extended amounts of time, please don't show up, please don't have expectations of me, please realize that I'm recovering and offer me some space (and food!!!).
But did I LOVE my labor and delivery? YES! I really did. No lie! I even told Cam that I'm absolutely doing it again! I think next time though I'll do without the blood clotting scary thing.
Going to nap now, Cams making me :)
N.
By the way, the nurses and doctors at surrey memorial are AMAZING!!!!!!!!
My son, Edison Lyle
I promise I will write Edison's full birth story but for now I wanted to share a portion of it.
Moments after Edison was born I started bleeding, like A LOT! Actually, three times the amount of blood than the average woman is supposed to loose. It was a very scary situation, the doctors didn't know if my bleeding was coming from a tear or my uterus. So my doc who delivered Edi called in the OB and all the sudden all the nurses on the floor were in my room. The OB, Dr. Price (amazing man!) established that the bleeding was coming from my uterus and they proceeded to push hard on my stomach which HURT! I started to cry and panic (thanks to Heidi for bringing me back to calm) wondering what was happening. I thought Edi was in trouble cause he only whimpered out of the womb, I had no clue it was me they were worried about. All the sudden Dr. Price came to my side and calmly made it clear to me that I wasn't okay and either I suck like I've never sucked before on laughing gas right now or I get wheeled in ASAP for surgery. They had to stop the bleeding which meant aggressive pushes on my stomach which was unbelievably painful (apparently there was even blood on the stool in the room, blah!). So right then I grabbed the gas and sucked and they pushed and it was hell but they got the clots out! Literally PRAISE GOD!
I was on that table for what felt like forever (2 hours) after the birth and all I wanted was my baby, I had no clue I was walking the road of a possible blood transfusion.
After they got the clots, the scare was over and I was finally stitched up, cleaned up, hooked to more Oxytocin and got to hold my boy! My gorgeous, handsome stud of a man. Little did I know that my doctor was explaining the whole situation to my parents at this time out in the hall and then asked them not to tell me the severity of what had happened. They kept me over night and watched me like a hawk because if my morning blood work didn't come back good I'd need a blood transfusion for sure Mother's Day morning. Again praise God that the results were good and I was discharged to spend a great Mother's Day evening at home!
The reason I post this now is because my doc made it clear that my recovery will be much longer than the average woman's. It will take my body months to recover fully from the blood loss. I'm supposed to allow others to help me on a consistent basis and not be shy to ask for help. I need to sleep lots, take an iron supplement and drink tons of water. My body will NOT spring back from this quickly, it will be SLOW, so very slow.
So please, if you're wanting to meet my son I'm thrilled but you must be patient with me. Please don't stay over for extended amounts of time, please don't show up, please don't have expectations of me, please realize that I'm recovering and offer me some space (and food!!!).
But did I LOVE my labor and delivery? YES! I really did. No lie! I even told Cam that I'm absolutely doing it again! I think next time though I'll do without the blood clotting scary thing.
Going to nap now, Cams making me :)
N.
By the way, the nurses and doctors at surrey memorial are AMAZING!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 10, 2013
On the brink of induction
I realized that I completely forgot to update my 41 week photo, so here you go.
On the day I turned 41 weeks I had to go in for A LOT of appointments. Turns out that when you're apart of the CBP (community birth program) they let you go later in your pregnancy to try and labor naturally but only if you're a-ok! So after fetal monitoring, a visit with my doc involving my 4th internal exam, an ultrasound & some blood work I was free to go home.... and wait for labor or induction.
I'm quite thankful for the nurse we got at our fetal monitoring appointment. She was fabulous and went over the entire induction process that I would be experiencing if I made it to Friday (obviously I have). She made it sound far less terrifying than I expected it to be, she took her time answering all my questions and really made me feel like it was all going to be ok. So today as I await the call for my induction time I'm really not all that worried, disappointed in the fact that I need the boost, but not terrified anymore. I've been experiencing early labor since 7 am Thursday morning so a boost to get things going faster is actually welcomed and what I believe I need.
But Thursday sure was a test of my emotional and physical endurance. I am incredibly grateful that Kortney set us up with our new doula Heidi who I actually know from my Bethany Baptist days. Heidi is AWESOME! She's been such an answer to prayer. Around 7 am yesterday I woke up to contractions that hurt! I was SO happy but didn't say anything until I was sure they weren't going away so I paced the house for a solid hour and they stayed! We then walked basically all day trying to encourage them to be closer together and stronger but we lost that fight and around 7 pm they faded away and I was left emotionally and physically exhausted! I even had a moment of complete emotional breakdown in my driveway, crying harder than I have in a long time. Why hasn't this happened yet? What am I doing wrong? I don't know how to do this... I just want to hold my baby. Those were some of the hard emotional moments, it's true when they say its a labor of love.
Today my hope and prayer is that I'm encouraged through the pain knowing that this time there is an end in sight rather than another long day of longing. I WILL get to hold my child soon, I WILL be giving birth within the next 24-48 hours, I CAN & WILL succeed. What a journey this has been!
Lots of love, N.
I once again just needed to say THANK-YOU!!!!! For the on going amount of love that both Cam & I have been receiving from you! At times I'm overwhelmed to tears at how much love is pouring in from everywhere, all the messages & texts. We are so blessed! Beyond blessed so THANK-YOU!!! Bubba already has more love poured out on him/her than I ever expected, I can't wait to raise my child with this much support! :)
On the day I turned 41 weeks I had to go in for A LOT of appointments. Turns out that when you're apart of the CBP (community birth program) they let you go later in your pregnancy to try and labor naturally but only if you're a-ok! So after fetal monitoring, a visit with my doc involving my 4th internal exam, an ultrasound & some blood work I was free to go home.... and wait for labor or induction.
I'm quite thankful for the nurse we got at our fetal monitoring appointment. She was fabulous and went over the entire induction process that I would be experiencing if I made it to Friday (obviously I have). She made it sound far less terrifying than I expected it to be, she took her time answering all my questions and really made me feel like it was all going to be ok. So today as I await the call for my induction time I'm really not all that worried, disappointed in the fact that I need the boost, but not terrified anymore. I've been experiencing early labor since 7 am Thursday morning so a boost to get things going faster is actually welcomed and what I believe I need.
But Thursday sure was a test of my emotional and physical endurance. I am incredibly grateful that Kortney set us up with our new doula Heidi who I actually know from my Bethany Baptist days. Heidi is AWESOME! She's been such an answer to prayer. Around 7 am yesterday I woke up to contractions that hurt! I was SO happy but didn't say anything until I was sure they weren't going away so I paced the house for a solid hour and they stayed! We then walked basically all day trying to encourage them to be closer together and stronger but we lost that fight and around 7 pm they faded away and I was left emotionally and physically exhausted! I even had a moment of complete emotional breakdown in my driveway, crying harder than I have in a long time. Why hasn't this happened yet? What am I doing wrong? I don't know how to do this... I just want to hold my baby. Those were some of the hard emotional moments, it's true when they say its a labor of love.
Today my hope and prayer is that I'm encouraged through the pain knowing that this time there is an end in sight rather than another long day of longing. I WILL get to hold my child soon, I WILL be giving birth within the next 24-48 hours, I CAN & WILL succeed. What a journey this has been!
Lots of love, N.
I once again just needed to say THANK-YOU!!!!! For the on going amount of love that both Cam & I have been receiving from you! At times I'm overwhelmed to tears at how much love is pouring in from everywhere, all the messages & texts. We are so blessed! Beyond blessed so THANK-YOU!!! Bubba already has more love poured out on him/her than I ever expected, I can't wait to raise my child with this much support! :)
Monday, May 06, 2013
calming my mind, labor prep!
It truly is remarkable how the mind can control the body. I've experienced this before in my vulvodynia treatment, in my never ending years as an IBS sufferer and now as I await my baby being born. The mind is a force to be reckoned with and can absolutely control the body's functions, for the better or worse.
I previously stated in my earlier blog post how I stared at my ultrasound picture on Friday and bawled and then things started happening. Well, my doula in her infinite wisdom suggested I do an exercise where I sit and go through (visually) my entire labor and identify fears out loud and release them. Now, you might think that sounds goofy, or "new age", but if you've never sat with yourself and truly identified what's going on in your mind, then you're missing out on an incredible self discovery.
I highly encourage any woman who is going through pregnancy and is afraid of various aspects of the experience to sit down with herself and picture her baby, what her life will be like with her child and what she anticipates at her labor and birth. Whenever there is a point of hesitation or tears then talk out that fear and release it's power over you. I know for myself that it's done nothing but positive things. Take a look at my picture below.
Bubba dropped!!!!! Like seriously shoved itself into position and is now what my doctor calls "engaged". All due to calm, relaxed, meditation on Friday night, releasing fears and accepting what is to come.
Last night after an hour of visualization I immediately started having cramping like I've never felt before. It was a reassurance that my body and baby know what they're doing and my mind needs to follow suit and stop getting in the way. I woke up this morning and immediately repeated the process, more fears were identified and released and I feel more than ready! I'm confident that this baby will be born soon and I'm quite excited to witness my body doing exactly what it's been created to do. As I sit here and type my cramps are once again getting stronger, my mind is at peace with the process and my stomach is saying "Cheerios!" (Which is my cue to go and have my breakfast, excuse me).
So with hopeful anticipation I pray that tomorrow I will post about Bubba and not update my 41 week belly shot. BUT if you do get a belly shot, please know that I'll be meditating away any disappointment and will choose to trust that labor was meant for a different date.
N.
I previously stated in my earlier blog post how I stared at my ultrasound picture on Friday and bawled and then things started happening. Well, my doula in her infinite wisdom suggested I do an exercise where I sit and go through (visually) my entire labor and identify fears out loud and release them. Now, you might think that sounds goofy, or "new age", but if you've never sat with yourself and truly identified what's going on in your mind, then you're missing out on an incredible self discovery.
I highly encourage any woman who is going through pregnancy and is afraid of various aspects of the experience to sit down with herself and picture her baby, what her life will be like with her child and what she anticipates at her labor and birth. Whenever there is a point of hesitation or tears then talk out that fear and release it's power over you. I know for myself that it's done nothing but positive things. Take a look at my picture below.
Bubba dropped!!!!! Like seriously shoved itself into position and is now what my doctor calls "engaged". All due to calm, relaxed, meditation on Friday night, releasing fears and accepting what is to come.
Last night after an hour of visualization I immediately started having cramping like I've never felt before. It was a reassurance that my body and baby know what they're doing and my mind needs to follow suit and stop getting in the way. I woke up this morning and immediately repeated the process, more fears were identified and released and I feel more than ready! I'm confident that this baby will be born soon and I'm quite excited to witness my body doing exactly what it's been created to do. As I sit here and type my cramps are once again getting stronger, my mind is at peace with the process and my stomach is saying "Cheerios!" (Which is my cue to go and have my breakfast, excuse me).
So with hopeful anticipation I pray that tomorrow I will post about Bubba and not update my 41 week belly shot. BUT if you do get a belly shot, please know that I'll be meditating away any disappointment and will choose to trust that labor was meant for a different date.
N.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
What I've been learning...
I've definitely been learning a lot through this whole labor process. And no... in all technical/medical terms I'm not "officially" in labor yet. BUT I argue that I'm on the outskirts of it happening. Like at any moment my belly could contract and BOOM labor! At least that's how I picture it happening.
What I've learned and what my wonderful doula has taught me, is that labor like a lot of things in life, is a process. Here I thought I'd be hit with contractions out of nowhere, suffer for 12+ hours, push, tear & out comes Bubba! I'm starting to understand that the body gives out SO many warning signs of impending labor that you start to wonder "is it now?" "Now?" "Now?" At least this has been my experience.
Yesterday I was hit with such aggressive movement and pressure I thought for sure Bubba was clawing his way out. One hour after a 1/2 off cream based Starbucks ribbon caramel crunch frapp (YUM!) and I was convinced that either my water was going to break or something was going to start happening. Jason (my brother) drove like a maniac back home and I proceeded to pace the house, press the pressure points and breathe in the most relaxed way I could. I felt stuff happening well past 10:30pm that night only to wake up this morning disappointed that I wasn't in full on active labor. But thrilled to see that Bubba absolutely dropped further in my pelvis! Things are happening, just slower than I thought they would.
But one thing that really stood out to me yesterday, was how anxious I really was to go through this process. So hours before my Starbucks frapp I sat on the floor in my living room and while staring at the ultrasound picture of Bubba I prayed, I bawled, I told myself that I could do it, I talked to Bubba, I pictured my child being born and I let go!! Now every moment that I catch myself thinking negatively, or feeling tension in my body I stop, I breathe deeply, I relax my body and I pray. That experience definitely changed how I now feel about motherhood and especially how I feel emotionally about this birthing process and physically its easier too.
This process truly is an emotional, spiritual and physical one that takes a lot of strength and endurance and I'm not even at the most difficult part yet. When the time does come and go, I'll be sure to come here and share more. I'll want to brag about how my beautiful baby came into the world.
But before that happens, THANK-YOU! To all of my incredible friends and family! For your texts, Facebook messages, phone calls, emails, etc... for your support and encouragement is incredibly appreciated and isn't going unnoticed!!!!!! We are SO blessed by you!
And we can't wait for each and every one of you to meet our precious Bubba!
N.
What I've learned and what my wonderful doula has taught me, is that labor like a lot of things in life, is a process. Here I thought I'd be hit with contractions out of nowhere, suffer for 12+ hours, push, tear & out comes Bubba! I'm starting to understand that the body gives out SO many warning signs of impending labor that you start to wonder "is it now?" "Now?" "Now?" At least this has been my experience.
Yesterday I was hit with such aggressive movement and pressure I thought for sure Bubba was clawing his way out. One hour after a 1/2 off cream based Starbucks ribbon caramel crunch frapp (YUM!) and I was convinced that either my water was going to break or something was going to start happening. Jason (my brother) drove like a maniac back home and I proceeded to pace the house, press the pressure points and breathe in the most relaxed way I could. I felt stuff happening well past 10:30pm that night only to wake up this morning disappointed that I wasn't in full on active labor. But thrilled to see that Bubba absolutely dropped further in my pelvis! Things are happening, just slower than I thought they would.
But one thing that really stood out to me yesterday, was how anxious I really was to go through this process. So hours before my Starbucks frapp I sat on the floor in my living room and while staring at the ultrasound picture of Bubba I prayed, I bawled, I told myself that I could do it, I talked to Bubba, I pictured my child being born and I let go!! Now every moment that I catch myself thinking negatively, or feeling tension in my body I stop, I breathe deeply, I relax my body and I pray. That experience definitely changed how I now feel about motherhood and especially how I feel emotionally about this birthing process and physically its easier too.
This process truly is an emotional, spiritual and physical one that takes a lot of strength and endurance and I'm not even at the most difficult part yet. When the time does come and go, I'll be sure to come here and share more. I'll want to brag about how my beautiful baby came into the world.
But before that happens, THANK-YOU! To all of my incredible friends and family! For your texts, Facebook messages, phone calls, emails, etc... for your support and encouragement is incredibly appreciated and isn't going unnoticed!!!!!! We are SO blessed by you!
And we can't wait for each and every one of you to meet our precious Bubba!
N.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
40 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 40 weeks pregnant! I MADE IT! 😃
Size of baby: pumpkin
(19 - 22 inches & 6 - 9 pounds)
Yah, there's no way this child is 6 lbs. That was proven by the ultrasound, I'm quite sure that Bub's will be around the 9 lb mark.
Weight gain/loss: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!! still swollen, still have lots of water weighing me down. BUT, today I lost 3lbs! YES! SO happy! that puts me at a gain of around 30lbs with approximately 8-10 of it being water & another 8-9 of it being Bubba!
Maternity clothes: I'm wearing my new sports bras every day now. I love them! They're SO comfy & I just need comfy right now.
Movement: so much movement! Still lots of kicks in my rib cage, this baby must be loooong cause head is down but still not engaged & feet are in my lungs.
Sleep: I'm waking up a lot still but I've just got to get used to it. I'm still snoring but I'm sure that'll change once baby is out.
Cravings: chocolate ice cream with bananas! YUM! Oh and every type of fruit I can consume. AND salt/original chips. Don't worry, my sugar numbers are still good!
Symptoms: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!!! Stupid swelling all over my stupid body & in my stupid feet which hurt & my stupid hands that can't make a fist. Oh, & stupid heartburn!
But I loooove my baby belly when it's not in the way 😊
Yep the above still sums it up! Although my spazzing legs are getting more annoying.
Best moment of the week: Cam & I had a fantastic meal at Ocean Park in Langley. It was fabulous! We also walked Campbell valley park on Saturday & crescent beach on Sunday. We didn't succeed in putting me into labor but we did have a really great weekend together just us!
So here we go! Come on Bubba, there are so many people who want to meet you. But most of all your daddy and I want to see you, hug you & kiss your chubby cheeks. The doctor today even touched your head 😊
please! please come out!
N.
Monday, April 29, 2013
nearing the end
This is it... well, not technically RIGHT at this moment, but any second now my body can begin labor. My due date is tomorrow, April 30th (changed from April 24th when I was in my 27th week). So every moment now has the potential to bring on what will begin the most incredible journey of my life, labor and motherhood. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a wee bit freaked!
Not scared for the labor process, I have faith in myself and I believe that my body can accomplish what it was designed to do. Plus I have an amazing doula that will help and an incredibly supportive husband. I also believe that my track record and having had suffered from insanely painful menstural cramps since I was eleven and undiagnosed endometriosis pain for five years gives me an advantage. So when it comes to that "type" of pain, I'm a pro! Obviously it's not the same but I'm sure it's darn close.
So what freaks me out? I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY! How in the world will I know what to do and when to do it? Yes, I've read books, articles, blogs. I've taken child psychology classes and I've worked in child care for a year and a half before this pregnancy. But I still can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed with the notion/idea of what's to come. I keep asking myself, "will I love it?", "will we bond?", "will this ruin my life?". I know! HORRIBLE things to consider but I'm just being honest here. And I'm sure after my labor I'll come back to this post and wonder how I ever let myself think those things. But the thing is, this is such unknown territory for me and I accept that these crazy thoughts are valid. As long as I don't allow them to take over.
I AM excited!
I AM eager!
I WANT this child!
and having a little bit of apprehension about the whole thing is perfectly normal. Right?!
Well... I'll keep you updated :)
So far I have symptoms that labor is impending, just no contractions yet and I'm thinking that those are the key to getting things started!
Maybe this red leaf tea will help?!
N.
Not scared for the labor process, I have faith in myself and I believe that my body can accomplish what it was designed to do. Plus I have an amazing doula that will help and an incredibly supportive husband. I also believe that my track record and having had suffered from insanely painful menstural cramps since I was eleven and undiagnosed endometriosis pain for five years gives me an advantage. So when it comes to that "type" of pain, I'm a pro! Obviously it's not the same but I'm sure it's darn close.
So what freaks me out? I'M GOING TO BE A MOMMY! How in the world will I know what to do and when to do it? Yes, I've read books, articles, blogs. I've taken child psychology classes and I've worked in child care for a year and a half before this pregnancy. But I still can't help but feel a bit overwhelmed with the notion/idea of what's to come. I keep asking myself, "will I love it?", "will we bond?", "will this ruin my life?". I know! HORRIBLE things to consider but I'm just being honest here. And I'm sure after my labor I'll come back to this post and wonder how I ever let myself think those things. But the thing is, this is such unknown territory for me and I accept that these crazy thoughts are valid. As long as I don't allow them to take over.
I AM excited!
I AM eager!
I WANT this child!
and having a little bit of apprehension about the whole thing is perfectly normal. Right?!
Well... I'll keep you updated :)
So far I have symptoms that labor is impending, just no contractions yet and I'm thinking that those are the key to getting things started!
Maybe this red leaf tea will help?!
N.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
39 weeks + 1 day pregnant!
How far along: 39 weeks + 1 day pregnant! SO close :)
Today was my original due date.
Size of baby: watermelon
(19 - 22 inches & 7 - 9 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!! still swollen, still have lots of water weighing me down. I'm looking forward to having Bubba on the outside and seeing the scale go down.
Maternity clothes: Well, I did buy some sports bras from Walmart the other day & they're AWESOME! I wanted something for the hospital so I didn't have to buy a nursing bra & these bras were definitely the right choice.
Movement: I'm feeling a lot of kicks up in my ribs now. I'm being told over & over how long this child is so Bub's dropping really hasn't given me much relief but that's ok. I'm doing movement counts frequently if I feel like Bubba is being a little too quiet. Yesterday at the hospital I had no movement for a solid 30 minutes. It wasn't the ideal time for Bubba to nap.
Sleep: I'm sleeping better again which has been nice! I'm still snoring (sorry Cam!) & I'm still waking up to pee but that's just part of it I guess.
Cravings: I really wanted McDonald's yesterday after being at the hospital for four hours with no food! So I gave in & then felt suuuuuper guilty afterwards :(
Symptoms: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!!! Stupid swelling all over my stupid body & in my stupid feet which hurt & my stupid hands that can't make a fist. Oh, & stupid heartburn!
But I loooove my baby belly when it's not in the way :)
Yep the above still sums it up! Just feeling like a complete fat ass! I've never been this large in my life & that's hard to accept some days. But I get a gorgeous baby out of this experience & I wouldn't trade that for anything else in the whole world.
Best moment of the week: just spending time with friends and family has been great! Hearing my brothers talk about becoming uncles has been so sweet & doing last minute prep has been fun! I'm just ready to become a mommy, I want to meet & hold my baby so badly!
I'm SO close to labor & I'm SO excited. I'm not afraid to birth my baby naturally, I'm SO looking forward for the experience to start! Maybe tonight?! :)
N.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
An interesting day (39 weeks pregnant!)
Today was supposed to be a nice lazy day, I woke up around 9 am and slowly got out of bed. Waddled my pregnant self to the kitchen and got some breakfast, things were good!
Then my phone rang and it was my doctor asking me to meet her at triage at the hospital as soon as I could get there. She explained that my blood results came back with an abnormality and they wanted to check me, check Bubba and re-do the blood tests. All as a precautionary of course, but then she said "if we find something then we'll have to do something". I must of gone from cheery to stone cold silent cause she quickly asked if I was ok. I said I was, told her I'd be there in a hour and hung up. But I was honestly in a moment of complete freak out!!
For a second there I thought the worse, but then I pulled myself together and immediately prayed a prayer for calm and handed myself and my baby over to God. I was at peace right in that moment with whatever was to be. I thought to myself, "this could be it! I could be meeting Bubba today! I didn't want it to go this way but as long as we're both safe & healthy, that's all I care about."
I got to the hospital and after a little while I was in a gown and attached to a fetal monitor. I had to pee in a cup, had my blood taken, blood pressure checked, pulse was checked, temperature checked. Everything was done! The nurses there were AMAZING!
I'm SO grateful for my mom, she was with me the whole four hours I was there. Keeping me calm, keeping Cam updated (he was at work), drove me and took care of the parking. THANK-YOU MOM!!!
The tests came back with two higher than normal liver readings but everything else is good. So I was free to go with instructions to go for more blood work on Friday and another blood pressure test on Saturday.
Now... I'm going to concentrate on keeping healthy but I'm also going to walk like crazy, and try to encourage Bubba to come out soon!!!
Thanks for all the love & prayers friends. I appreciate all the support I got today, it meant SO much!
N.
Funny side note: when the nurse measured me she said "whoa, long baby! Having trouble breathing?!" Hahaha! That really put a smile on my face! :)
Then my phone rang and it was my doctor asking me to meet her at triage at the hospital as soon as I could get there. She explained that my blood results came back with an abnormality and they wanted to check me, check Bubba and re-do the blood tests. All as a precautionary of course, but then she said "if we find something then we'll have to do something". I must of gone from cheery to stone cold silent cause she quickly asked if I was ok. I said I was, told her I'd be there in a hour and hung up. But I was honestly in a moment of complete freak out!!
For a second there I thought the worse, but then I pulled myself together and immediately prayed a prayer for calm and handed myself and my baby over to God. I was at peace right in that moment with whatever was to be. I thought to myself, "this could be it! I could be meeting Bubba today! I didn't want it to go this way but as long as we're both safe & healthy, that's all I care about."
I got to the hospital and after a little while I was in a gown and attached to a fetal monitor. I had to pee in a cup, had my blood taken, blood pressure checked, pulse was checked, temperature checked. Everything was done! The nurses there were AMAZING!
I'm SO grateful for my mom, she was with me the whole four hours I was there. Keeping me calm, keeping Cam updated (he was at work), drove me and took care of the parking. THANK-YOU MOM!!!
The tests came back with two higher than normal liver readings but everything else is good. So I was free to go with instructions to go for more blood work on Friday and another blood pressure test on Saturday.
Now... I'm going to concentrate on keeping healthy but I'm also going to walk like crazy, and try to encourage Bubba to come out soon!!!
Thanks for all the love & prayers friends. I appreciate all the support I got today, it meant SO much!
N.
Funny side note: when the nurse measured me she said "whoa, long baby! Having trouble breathing?!" Hahaha! That really put a smile on my face! :)
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Camy's birthday is today... so Bubba that's your cue to come any day now!!
Things have drastically changed these last couple weeks. I went from feeling "alright, a little big" to feeling like "get the baby out now!!!". I'm huge! A lot bigger than I anticipated lugging around more weight that I wanted (damn you wet weight!) with a now constant stabbing/stinging pain as though someone karate chopped me in the vagina. I walk so painfully slow these days that even my parents dog is getting annoyed and for the life of me I can't reach the coffee table to get my water bottle anymore. My feet are SO swollen that I'm now officially in flip flops and they hurt so much now when I try to massage them that tears run down my face. I can't sleep either, even moving in bed hurts and the thought that Bubba could come out as a boy and be without a name has me constantly thinking.
I'm now just even more eager to meet Bubba. Jason birthday has past (Bubba's Uncle Po Po) and today was Cameron's birthday, so we're good. Bubba will get his/her own birthday!! YAY!! I'm so very glad!!
So now anytime dear child... don't be like your daddy and take your sweet sweet time. Unless that means you'll sleep great and be as relaxed as can be, because I'm quite okay with that :)
N.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I'm now just even more eager to meet Bubba. Jason birthday has past (Bubba's Uncle Po Po) and today was Cameron's birthday, so we're good. Bubba will get his/her own birthday!! YAY!! I'm so very glad!!
So now anytime dear child... don't be like your daddy and take your sweet sweet time. Unless that means you'll sleep great and be as relaxed as can be, because I'm quite okay with that :)
N.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
38 weeks, 9 1/2 months pregnant!!
How far along: 38 weeks pregnant! That's 9 1/2 months, WOW!!!
Size of baby: watermelon
(19 - 22 inches & 7 pounds)
Cam & I saw watermelon at the grocery store the other day & bought one :) that was sure an eye opener to how big baby is.
Weight gain/loss: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!!
Maternity clothes: I don't even have an extra extra large shirt to lounge around in anymore. So I've given up! lol.
I did decide to buy my nursing bras AFTER bubba arrives. This way I get exactly what I want & what fits. I'll just drag Cam & Bubba to the maternity store with me! :)
Movement: surprisingly not as much movement as previous weeks, BUT I hear that's a sign of baby dropping & preparing so I'm ok with that. Bubba seems to love it when I drink cold water, always moves then.
Sleep: I'm exhausted, SO tired! I'm still waking up all the time at night but of course that just comes with pregnancy right?! And poor Cam, I'm still snoring :(
Yep! Above is still all so true.
Cravings: ice cream, candy, lots of fruit still (which I do eat). I'm getting nauseous again a lot so that prevents me from wanting to eat but I think Bubba stretches into my rib cage (good times!).
Symptoms: DAMN YOU WET WEIGHT!!!! Stupid swelling all over my stupid body & in my stupid feet which hurt & my stupid hands that can't make a fist. Oh, & stupid heartburn!
But I loooove my baby belly when it's not in the way :)
Best moment of the week: well.... my aunt Lina who lived in Germany & was 109 1/2 years old had died. That was NOT a good moment, but she's in heaven now & that's good!
My brother Jason had his 26th birthday on the 10th & we went out to dinner & a movie with my family which was really awesome!
And tomorrow is Cameron's 32nd birthday!!!! So maybe Bubba will arrive to say happy birthday to Daddy :)
Yikes! The time, I've got to go to the doc & get my membranes sweeped. Has anyone done that before?? I'm a bit nervous about it, but rather have it done than a medical induction at 41 weeks.
Love!
N.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
wet weight
So.... Today I found out the reason behind my sudden crazy unusually high weight gain. The term is apparently "wet weight" and is associated with a stupid amount of swelling. And when I say stupid amount, I really do mean RIDICULOUSLY high amounts of water volume all over my body. Just take a look for yourself (below).
I took that picture tonight at the end of the day, only because I couldn't believe how huge they were. This morning I thought the swelling was bad when I went to the doc but I never imagined it getting THAT bad! This is the worst, but it's okay cause the doc said I'll just end up peeing it all out after Bubba is born. When I told my mom that she just laughed and said that I'll be spending all my time in the hospital bathroom then.
The good in all of this?! I didn't actually gain 8 lbs of real weight in two weeks (yes, HOLY COW!). But instead I just ballooned out because of extra liquid which will go away (the key here is "go away!"). So that's good! I can live with that then. I'll just keep saying "it's not forever" over and over again so I feel better :)
Oh, and today my diabetes doc said I'm doing so well that she insists I only prick ever other day. And since she has no intention of putting me on insulin cause I'm doing so awesome, I'm done with seeing her! So that means no more diabetes visits! Just every other day I've got to prick for my records and to keep myself accountable! I'm really happy that even after having doubts and guilt at times I still managed to do my best and keep my health for my baby!
Not much longer now, but please... no more water retention. I don't think my feet can handle any more liquid!
N.
I took that picture tonight at the end of the day, only because I couldn't believe how huge they were. This morning I thought the swelling was bad when I went to the doc but I never imagined it getting THAT bad! This is the worst, but it's okay cause the doc said I'll just end up peeing it all out after Bubba is born. When I told my mom that she just laughed and said that I'll be spending all my time in the hospital bathroom then.
The good in all of this?! I didn't actually gain 8 lbs of real weight in two weeks (yes, HOLY COW!). But instead I just ballooned out because of extra liquid which will go away (the key here is "go away!"). So that's good! I can live with that then. I'll just keep saying "it's not forever" over and over again so I feel better :)
Oh, and today my diabetes doc said I'm doing so well that she insists I only prick ever other day. And since she has no intention of putting me on insulin cause I'm doing so awesome, I'm done with seeing her! So that means no more diabetes visits! Just every other day I've got to prick for my records and to keep myself accountable! I'm really happy that even after having doubts and guilt at times I still managed to do my best and keep my health for my baby!
Not much longer now, but please... no more water retention. I don't think my feet can handle any more liquid!
N.
Tuesday, April 09, 2013
37 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 37 weeks pregnant! YAY! I made it to full term
Size of baby: watermelon
(19 - 22 inches & 6.5 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again and that is all I'm going to say about it this time.
Maternity clothes: it makes no sense to get anything new now but at my awesome surprise shower my friend Amy got me a couple nursing tops! I'm looking forward to wearing those :)
Movement: still tons of movement! I can see Bub's move around like waves, lots of rolling going on in there. And head butting, this baby LOVES to head butt my "business".
Sleep: I'm exhausted, SO tired! I'm still waking up all the time at night but of course that just comes with pregnancy right?! And poor Cam, I'm still snoring :(
Cravings: carbs, sugar, fruit... I just wanna eat lots of fruit. I REALLY wanted McDonald's today but I stopped myself.
Symptoms: LOTS of swelling in my hands, legs and feet, it's getting harder to bend my knees because of it. I'm getting cramps, "stabby crotch", Braxton Hicks, and tons of pressure. The doctor was not kidding when she said that it just gets more uncomfortable the farther you go, but that's ok! If you take a peek at the picture above you may see why I thought baby dropped, it's lower but not "engaged" yet. Hopefully that happens sooner than later, but I keep telling Bub's to come when he/she's ready.
Best moment of the week: if you read my earlier post then you know my amazing friends threw me a surprise baby shower! It was AWESOME! I had so much fun! I'm SO lucky :)
Another fun thing is we chose outfits for Bubba! I picked the girl ones and Cam picked the boy ones. We'll just have to wait and see which set we get to use!
I also had an ultrasound on the same day as my baby shower. We found out that Bub's is still in the 90th percentile for leg length and currently at approximately 7 lbs 2 ounces (give or take 500 grams). This means babe is average and my GD isn't seriously affecting the growth (YAY!). However, it is measuring at 38 weeks (which would make d-day April 18th) so maybe we'll have an early delivery?! I'm getting membrane sweeps at my next two appointments so we'll just wait and see!
I guess we're going to do Cams birthday celebration early to make sure he gets one (his birthday is April 17th!). At the ultrasound Leigh-Ann (who is the only one who knows the gender) gave us a gift! A GENDER SPECIFIC gift! So Cam immediately hid it on me... But I know that somewhere in my house is a present that will tell me Bubbas gender. It's SO hard not to tear the house apart to find it but I'm doing a good job at resisting :)
Ok, time to nap now, I'm exhausted and Bubba is head butting again!
N.
Saturday, April 06, 2013
SURPRISE!!!!
Yesterday evening I went out for a nice dinner with Cam, Nantina and Rachael. Cam needed to take off for youth group so us ladies hung out at the restaurant with plans to head off to Alissa's afterwards. We couldn't be at Alissa's until 7:30pm because apparently Alissa had plans (or so I thought!) so we just took our sweet time at white spot.
I had absolutely NO IDEA what was in store for me when we made it to Alissa's front door. Nan approached and knocked while I proclaimed, "no need to knock, I never knock!". All the sudden the door swung open and there were SO many of my friends, my mom and my mother-in-law yelling "SHOWER" right at me!!!!'
I was SO surprised, SO excited, SOOOOO happy!!!!! It was incredible to have that many people I loved (and who obviously love me) in one room! From all parts of my life too, I had friends from Gracepoint Church, CBC, Langley College, Wind & Tide, etc... It overwhelmed me and I kept thinking to myself "is this happening?!" I keep thinking about that moment with a big smile on my face :)
Bubba and I got SPOILED! The gifts just kept coming, and gosh they were very very cute. We got onesies, booties, toys, books, a nursing pillow, a nursing scarf, socks, blankets, hooded towels, stuffed animals, even two nursing tops for me and more. My nieces and nephew got us the Canuck pacifiers that Cam really wanted too!
There was a cake in the shape of a baby, games to play, yummy food out to eat and adorable decorations. I loved all the belly rubs, hugs and smiles. I was giddy all night long and when I got home I couldn't fall asleep for hours because I was so happy :)
So THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU!!! To my fantastic friends Alissa and Nantina for planning and hosting. To my husband Cameron for helping them and keeping it the best kept secret. And to everyone who attended, I love you all :)
I can't wait for you to meet our precious baby Bubba!
N.
I had absolutely NO IDEA what was in store for me when we made it to Alissa's front door. Nan approached and knocked while I proclaimed, "no need to knock, I never knock!". All the sudden the door swung open and there were SO many of my friends, my mom and my mother-in-law yelling "SHOWER" right at me!!!!'
I was SO surprised, SO excited, SOOOOO happy!!!!! It was incredible to have that many people I loved (and who obviously love me) in one room! From all parts of my life too, I had friends from Gracepoint Church, CBC, Langley College, Wind & Tide, etc... It overwhelmed me and I kept thinking to myself "is this happening?!" I keep thinking about that moment with a big smile on my face :)
Bubba and I got SPOILED! The gifts just kept coming, and gosh they were very very cute. We got onesies, booties, toys, books, a nursing pillow, a nursing scarf, socks, blankets, hooded towels, stuffed animals, even two nursing tops for me and more. My nieces and nephew got us the Canuck pacifiers that Cam really wanted too!
There was a cake in the shape of a baby, games to play, yummy food out to eat and adorable decorations. I loved all the belly rubs, hugs and smiles. I was giddy all night long and when I got home I couldn't fall asleep for hours because I was so happy :)
So THANK-YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU!!! To my fantastic friends Alissa and Nantina for planning and hosting. To my husband Cameron for helping them and keeping it the best kept secret. And to everyone who attended, I love you all :)
I can't wait for you to meet our precious baby Bubba!
N.
Friday, April 05, 2013
Maternity pictures!
On Easter weekend Cam and I went out to the very same park we did our wedding photo shoot at and met up with my friend Angela. I've known Angela for a VERY long time (since we were babies) and I was thrilled to have stumbled upon her website and notice how amazing she is in her photography skills. Seriously people, this girl is FANTASTIC! She is so much fun and so talented, and has such an incredible vision for the exact style of photography I was looking for.
Cam and I wanted to do a maternity shoot because we believe that this time in our life is very important and we wanted to capture it all in photo memories! I'll hopefully be putting together an album with these photos for Cam and I to keep and then another one for Bubba along with the newborn session photos we'll be getting from Angela too! This way, Bubba has an album for him/herself capturing these moments as well. We're also going to frame a bunch for the house and when you scroll below to take a peek you'll see why I'm going to have the hardest time picking out which ones to frame!
So here are some of my favorite that are on Angelas website! Ella Haus Photography
Now go and click the link and see the rest she has posted as well as all her other work and hire her for your own photo shoots! I promise she's amazing, you won't be disappointed :)
N.
Cam and I wanted to do a maternity shoot because we believe that this time in our life is very important and we wanted to capture it all in photo memories! I'll hopefully be putting together an album with these photos for Cam and I to keep and then another one for Bubba along with the newborn session photos we'll be getting from Angela too! This way, Bubba has an album for him/herself capturing these moments as well. We're also going to frame a bunch for the house and when you scroll below to take a peek you'll see why I'm going to have the hardest time picking out which ones to frame!
So here are some of my favorite that are on Angelas website! Ella Haus Photography
N.
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
36 weeks pregnant, NINE months!
How far along: 36 weeks, that's nine months pregnant! One more week and I'll be considered full-term which means Bub's could come at ANY time after April 9th.
Size of baby: large cantaloupe
(19 - 22 inches & 6 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 2.6 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 24.4lbs this pregnancy. I was hoping that I would be within a gain of 20-25lbs but I've come to terms with the fact that I might be closer to a 30lb gain instead. I've decided to TRUST my body to gain what it needs as long as I'm eating healthy and moving my body daily. I need to understand that it's not about loosing weight right now or staying a certain weight. It's about the last few weeks of carrying a healthy baby and trusting that I'll be able to be healthy afterwards as well. My body knows what to do, as long as I'm feeding it appropriately. One thing I've definitely learnt through this diabetes process is that I'm absolutely addicted to sugar in every form. Whether it be fruit, carbs, plain sugar, milk sugars (just not milk itself) and I NEED to do something to change that. So that's something I definitely need to work on.
Maternity clothes: I had planned to get a couple nursing bras but after a conversation with my doula I'm thinking of holding off. I'm just not sure what I'll bring to the hospital then?! Hmmm....
Movement: there are times when this babe moves so much that my stomach rolls around like waves, it's crazy!! But since room is running out in my tummy, Bubba is moving less which makes me nervous at times. So when that happens I rub his/her bum (which is always at the top of my belly) and in minutes Bub's starts to move around and I feel better.
Sleep: I can't believe that I've started snoring!! Cams actually recorded me on his phone to prove to me that I'm snoring (sadly, I am).
Cravings: I'd love a good glass of wine or a gin & tonic with lime :)
But of course I'll wait to satisfy that craving.
Symptoms: I thought I wouldn't suffer the swollen hands and feet but I was sadly mistaken. My hands are huge and often hurt while I try to make a fist. My feet are also puffy and now my socks and Tom shoes make imprints. It's okay though, soon I will have a baby and my body will heal and go back to normal.
Best moment of the week: Easter was fabulous this year! My grandma gave us a knitted blanket that she's had made and wrapped for two years!!! She said she was just waiting for her first great grandchild. My whole family is thrilled to be welcoming this baby in the family :)
Can you believe that it's April 2nd?! You know what that means? I might have a baby this month! WOW!
Happy Tuesday
N.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
getting closer :)
So I haven't really updated anything other than my belly (which is still getting bigger by the way!). Bubba's room is coming along very nicely, we've received and assembled the gliding chair. The storage for clothes and things is done in the closet and we're just trying to figure out shelving. Grandma Stehr (cams mom) has made Bubba's curtains and is finishing his/her baby blanket for the crib. The car seat is out and awaiting a cleaning so it can go into the car this week. My hospital bag is on the dresser awaiting a few more items before its ready to go! And the cradle has been moved from the garage to our living room for Bubba's nap times. Equipped with a mattress, sheet and soft blanket.
Yesterday we had our maternity photo shoot done by a friend of mine who is SO talented and has started her own business.
Check out her website here:
http://www.ellahausphotography.com/
So we are very excited about that! Angela will also be doing our newborn photo shoot when Bubba gets here.
I've been feeling good lately, I am very grateful for an amazing husband, parents, family and a fabulous doula! My doctors are AMAZING! And I can't wait for this little one to make an appearance. Not only do I finally feel ready enough in terms of preparation in our home for Bubba to be here. But I feel ready emotionally to take on the beautiful challenge of labor and birth my child naturally.
SO swollen!!! hands & feet :)
I must say; it is imperative that I keep my mind focused on positivity and my absolute natural ability to labor without meds. I hope and wish that friends and family will continue to support me by agreeing to be positive alongside me. Thank-you!
Happy Easter everyone! We've had a fabulous weekend and look forward to spring and all it has in store!
Until Tuesday :)
N.
Yesterday we had our maternity photo shoot done by a friend of mine who is SO talented and has started her own business.
Check out her website here:
http://www.ellahausphotography.com/
So we are very excited about that! Angela will also be doing our newborn photo shoot when Bubba gets here.
I've been feeling good lately, I am very grateful for an amazing husband, parents, family and a fabulous doula! My doctors are AMAZING! And I can't wait for this little one to make an appearance. Not only do I finally feel ready enough in terms of preparation in our home for Bubba to be here. But I feel ready emotionally to take on the beautiful challenge of labor and birth my child naturally.
SO swollen!!! hands & feet :)
I must say; it is imperative that I keep my mind focused on positivity and my absolute natural ability to labor without meds. I hope and wish that friends and family will continue to support me by agreeing to be positive alongside me. Thank-you!
Happy Easter everyone! We've had a fabulous weekend and look forward to spring and all it has in store!
Until Tuesday :)
N.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
35 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 35 weeks! Next week I'll be 9 months pregnant.
Size of baby: large cantaloupe
(19 - 22 inches & 5.5 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3.2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 21.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly had a really hard time with this number this morning. I've been having a tough time with the whole weight gain process in general. The only explanation other then baby growing is the sudden increase of dairy I've been consuming. I feel the need to do some extra pricking to keep me accountable.
Maternity clothes: nothing new, nothing to update. My jeans are getting uncomfortable so I'm in my tights a lot.
Movement: so much movement! This baby is very very active and I'm now feeling the hiccups on a regular basis which is a lot of fun.
Sleep: some nights it's great, other nights not so much. So it's just depending on my exhaustion level and my heartburn. I'm giving up on the pregnancy pillow most nights and my trick is to massage my feet before bed to try and avoid the spasms.
Cravings: something to drink other than water & raspberry leaf tea. I get carbonated water but it would be nice to have a great glass of wine or juice.
Symptoms: lately I've had huge swollen feet and hands. It's horrible!! (could be contributing to my crazy weight gain). I'm VERY hormonal and quite sad, that's been hard considering I really am happy in life. I'm still nauseous on occasion and just feel REALLY really big at all times. I'm actually measuring 38 weeks but that's partly because Bubba hasn't dropped yet.
Best moment of the week: seeing David & Carley Iwai last night was great! We got our gliding chair delivered today, my taxes are finally done (yes!), we got a couple "to-do's" crossed our list and we fine tuned our baby name choices. So progress is being made and I'm glad for that.
Tonight I need a relaxing warm bath to pray and get things sorted out in my crazy prego mind.
Until next time :)
N.
Friday, March 22, 2013
simply uncomfortable
You know that time in pregnancy where your "baggy" shirts become tight, you feel absolutely enormous and bloated and you're out of breath after just walking up one flight of stairs? Yep! That's where I am about now... It hit me recently like a sack of bricks! Just BAM!
I am definitely looking forward to labor and holding this baby in my arms. I'm ready! Did you hear me Bubba? Mammas ready, so you can come anytime now! But I guess we should wait until full term, so anytime after April 9th okay sweetheart?!
N.
I am definitely looking forward to labor and holding this baby in my arms. I'm ready! Did you hear me Bubba? Mammas ready, so you can come anytime now! But I guess we should wait until full term, so anytime after April 9th okay sweetheart?!
N.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
34 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 34 weeks! 8 1/2 months, wow it's gone by so fast.
Size of baby: pineapple (19-22 inches & 4.9 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: I was scared of the scale this morning, I know my belly got bigger (I can just feel it) so naturally I thought I gained big again. Yet, the scale went down a tiny bit! Just by 0.2lbs but that's ok by me. So that's a total gain of 18.6lbs this pregnancy.
Maternity clothes: I keep trying to put new outfits together, my tights are still the BEST!
Movement: babe was moving a lot when I was baking cam cookies this afternoon :) I think Bubba also enjoyed my raspberry leaf tea this morning! (and yes I got the go ahead from my dula to drink the tea)
Sleep: it's still a struggle for me to get a full nights sleep but I'm surviving and allowing myself to just be lazy on days that I need it (like today) without any guilt. Also, Zantac is AWESOME!
Cravings: I still want candy, ice-cream & all the Easter goodies that are out. Especially paska! Mmmmmmm..... paska!
Symptoms: legs that spaz, Braxton hicks, cramps... you know, the usual third trimester stuff. It's ok though because soon I'll have my gorgeous babe in my arms.
Best moment of the week: I'm honestly not sure, I had some great days spent with my mom this week. Cam and I went to ikea and bought stuff for the house to make it feel more like home. I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in a while which was SO fun! Things are going great, I'm really happy! & I'm really excited!
Happy Tuesday!
N.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
33 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 33 weeks!
Size of baby: honey dew
(19 inches & 4 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 18.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly FREAKED! That's a big gain and I had no idea why until it dawned on me that I've been eating extra everyday cause Bubba is pushing up on my stomach causing me some serious heartburn and nausea. I've been eating to try and make the uncomfortable feeling go away. I'm going to definitely be tracking my food intake again to make sure I don't jump that next time.
Maternity clothes: nothing new, I checked a couple stores today but just felt like I couldn't make any decisions so I left it. I need nursing bras but will wait until I'm 36-37 weeks before I get a few.
Movement: so much movement! This baby is very active and I LOVE it :)
Sleep: I feel really tired a lot of the time so I must be waking up often during the night. The heartburn really gets me at night but the doc today told me to start taking Zantac twice a day, so I'm starting that tomorrow.
Cravings: Cam made cookies again a couple days ago, need I say more?
Symptoms: the heartburn and nausea is the worst right now. I'm still struggling to keep my eating under control so that my sugar readings stay low. And my legs freak out on a regular basis, that's the worst when I just want to sleep or relax on the couch.
Best moment of the week: meeting with Kortney (our dula) and going over a bunch of stuff concerning the labor and what I can expect will/might happen.
This pic was taken in the elevator on our way to see Kortney! Cam took it and he was pretty excited about it! Can you see him??
Until next time :)
N.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
I can do it!
Tonight I'm seeing my dula and I'm very excited about it! I'm really fortunate to have a dula who is also my friend. She's been a friend since early high school, I never thought (back then) that she'd be present with me at the birth of my first child. But I am incredibly thankful that she will be. I feel very strongly that I'll need the extra support and just knowing that I'll have a team helps my anxieties.
Now that I'm at 32 weeks pregnant the reality that labor is on its way has really started to sink in. I'm beginning to understand that it has a lot to do with ones mentality. That if I believe I can do it and make it through then I will. If I believe that my body has been created to do this, then I can put my trust in my natural abilities. I haven't done Lamaze or yoga, I didn't want to (in all honesty). Prayer has always been my source of strength, no matter my circumstance I have prayed through everything. I know I can search within and pray through this experience as well. And with the guidance of my dula I can figure out what will work for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that prayer won't make my pain magically go away. I also don't believe that God will suddenly make things easier, even if I beg. But I believe that it'll be what helps me focus and for me that's what matters.
At this time however, I feel very unprepared for labor and I'm not sure why. If it started today I may start freaking out!! Maybe it's because I keep coming across in my researching/reading how women should be going to Lamaze, yoga and practice breathing techniques but I haven't done any of that. Maybe it's because I'm nervous, I know it's going to hurt and I want to do it all without drugs but I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I remember my menstrual cramps before my surgery, they HURT! BAD! And I'm expecting labor to basically be like that, but with the end result of pushing out a baby. I know I'll need lots of encouragement and positive feedback to succeed and not crumble under the pain.
So maybe I should just start saying "I can do it!" "I can deliver Bubba!" "I have the ability to birth my baby" "I believe that I have the strength" "I'm capable!"
Because I am!
N.
Now that I'm at 32 weeks pregnant the reality that labor is on its way has really started to sink in. I'm beginning to understand that it has a lot to do with ones mentality. That if I believe I can do it and make it through then I will. If I believe that my body has been created to do this, then I can put my trust in my natural abilities. I haven't done Lamaze or yoga, I didn't want to (in all honesty). Prayer has always been my source of strength, no matter my circumstance I have prayed through everything. I know I can search within and pray through this experience as well. And with the guidance of my dula I can figure out what will work for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that prayer won't make my pain magically go away. I also don't believe that God will suddenly make things easier, even if I beg. But I believe that it'll be what helps me focus and for me that's what matters.
At this time however, I feel very unprepared for labor and I'm not sure why. If it started today I may start freaking out!! Maybe it's because I keep coming across in my researching/reading how women should be going to Lamaze, yoga and practice breathing techniques but I haven't done any of that. Maybe it's because I'm nervous, I know it's going to hurt and I want to do it all without drugs but I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I remember my menstrual cramps before my surgery, they HURT! BAD! And I'm expecting labor to basically be like that, but with the end result of pushing out a baby. I know I'll need lots of encouragement and positive feedback to succeed and not crumble under the pain.
So maybe I should just start saying "I can do it!" "I can deliver Bubba!" "I have the ability to birth my baby" "I believe that I have the strength" "I'm capable!"
Because I am!
N.
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
32 weeks pregnant!
Technically this photo was taken yesterday but I really liked what I was wearing so I took a picture!
How far along: 32 weeks pregnant! That's EIGHT months!
Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18.5 inches & 3.9 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: the scale finally went up again, 2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 15.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl! Seems as though the dietician I need to see for my diabetes is ALWAYS more concerned about my weight than my doctor and I. It's rather frustrating since I'm doing my best and by golly I thought I was doing quite well! I'm really not all that worried about it.
Maternity clothes: I bought pregnancy tights... they are THE BEST EVER!!! Every pregnant woman needs pregnancy tights & pregnancy underwear, they are equally amazing!
Movement: lots of movement, it's "violent" movements too! Not just pretty fluttering/rolling type sensations anymore. My belly moves around and I can feel that there is an actual baby in there.
Sleep: did you know that pregnancy insomnia is an actual thing that affects 70% of pregnant women? Yah, neither did I until I stopped falling asleep at night because my leg started freaking out and my heartburn went crazy out of control. Then once I do finally get to sleep I inevitably wake up an hour after to pee!
Cravings: Cam made cookies last week, so now when I'm home at lunch all I think about is chocolate chip cookies. And 5 cent candies, I REALLY want candy!
Symptoms: my diabetes machine is apparently fine and after I started paying much closer attention to the way I was handling how I pricked, my numbers went significantly down!! Therefore, my doc said I can prick less!!!! Like every OTHER day! So I'm much better with what I'm eating, when I'm eating and how much. Plus, I'm walking every single day for like a hour.
Best moment of the week: my amazing bible study friends threw me a baby shower last night! We chatted about a whole bunch of baby stuff, ate great food, they gave me amazing gifts and crowded around me to pray! I felt incredibly loved and blessed! THANK-you :)
*yawn* I'm tired, nap time!
N.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
31 weeks pregnant!
Just one photo this week! I liked this one the best :)
How far along: 31 weeks pregnant!
Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18 inches & 3.2 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: once again, no change this week! so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!
Maternity clothes: my lovely friend Karen who had a baby boy recently (congrats again!) let me borrow a bunch of her maternity clothes! THANK-YOU!
Movement: I am absolutely loving the movement, it's so strong! Bubba's even taken to shoving its bum into my diaphragm causing pain at times (yippee!).
Sleep: I DESPISE PREGNANCY PILLOWS!! And yes, ALL of them! My chiropractor says I need one and I can tell the difference in my back pain when I say F**K it at night and don't sleep with one but it's waking me up all the time cause I like moving around. Also I'm getting heartburn the moment I lay flat in bed... which is awesome! lol.
Cravings: Mexican food... Mmmm, burritos!!! And 5 cent candies, the sugary kind. I want candy SO BAD!
Symptoms: diabetes SUCKS!!! but I think I'm doing it wrong or my machine is messed up. I'm getting high numbers but then I'll check again right away and I'll get a different number (like 0.5 less or more) right afterwards. SO frustrating and I'm feeling on & off crappy about it. I do NOT want to go on insulin.
Best moment of the week: meeting my friend Karens new baby boy Ben and thinking to myself "I know I can do this!". Also when my fabulous friend Alissa called me and I bawled on the phone with her about diabetes stuff. She calmed me down and educated me! And cant forget that Cams been a sweet heart with my crazy cleaning/nesting madness :)
Ok, gotta run! Registered at the hospital today! :)
N.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Who are you Bubba??
As I approach 31 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) I'm starting to understand how these crazy hormones are affecting my thoughts, feelings, emotions and perceptions on everything!! It's been a lot easier to recently identify what's "me" and what's "hormonal". I hope that continues after Bubba's born, I've heard how overwhelming post baby hormones can be. While at church yesterday I had this picture in my mind during worship of me sitting in the hospital bed holding my new baby, staring into its eyes and I just about lost it! I can't believe how close that day actually is.
I'm starting to get REALLY curious as to who this little baby is growing inside of me. Is it a boy? A girl? What name will we end up choosing? Will he/she have blonde hair? Darker hair? Blue eyes like Cam or green eyes like me? Will baby be active or calm? Colic or not? Tall? Short? What will he/she like? Not like? My goodness it's endless the possibilities of who this child is!
Who will it look like? Or will he/she be the perfect mixture of us both? When I close my eyes to try and picture Bubba it's not clear because I truly have no clue. I was so sure at the beginning that Bubba is a boy but now... I have NO guess! No "feeling", no clue! Only Leigh-Ann knows for sure :)
9 more weeks to go! Then at least some of these questions will be answered!!
Bubba sweetie, I can't wait to hold you!
N.
I'm starting to get REALLY curious as to who this little baby is growing inside of me. Is it a boy? A girl? What name will we end up choosing? Will he/she have blonde hair? Darker hair? Blue eyes like Cam or green eyes like me? Will baby be active or calm? Colic or not? Tall? Short? What will he/she like? Not like? My goodness it's endless the possibilities of who this child is!
Who will it look like? Or will he/she be the perfect mixture of us both? When I close my eyes to try and picture Bubba it's not clear because I truly have no clue. I was so sure at the beginning that Bubba is a boy but now... I have NO guess! No "feeling", no clue! Only Leigh-Ann knows for sure :)
9 more weeks to go! Then at least some of these questions will be answered!!
Bubba sweetie, I can't wait to hold you!
N.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Wait a minute... I'm having a baby!!!
As I sit here in bed with my nettle tea, left leg spazzing, lower back hurting and strong Bubba movements I realize the plainly obvious fact that I AM HAVING A BABY! This kid can come out at any time and have a very strong chance of making it. Therefore, I'm a mommy! I, me, Nicole Elisabeth is Bubba's momma. WOW! HOLY CRAP! When/how did that happen? (don't answer that, I know how! 😉).
I know this sounds ridiculous, I mean I've chosen every action, every decision that got me to this point in my life and I am THRILLED, but I can't help but also feel crazy overwhelmed. It's not like life eases you into parenthood, it's BAM! Here's your son or daughter, congrats!!! By the way... good luck! have fun! you'll figure it out (with very little sleep). Yah! I have friends with kids, I see/hear what they go through. I'm not naive.
But then again I knew that if I went through life without even trying to have a child and doing the mom thing then I'd regret it. I knew that I absolutely love my job and investing in the lives of children, it's my calling. So having babies just made sense. But having a plan, and planning for that plan and talking about the plan is SO different than living it! You experience so many more anxieties, fears, inadequacies, when living it.
So what am I doing? I'm praying! It's always my "go to" I know that God will be there to offer peace and comfort. Even if you don't believe that, I do and it gives me an incredible strength and peace. I also go to Cam and share my thoughts. Just today he reassured me how normal all this is... it's OK to feel overwhelmed and emotional. I love him! He also told me that my stretch marks are beauty marks! SO SWEET!
So I'll continue to pray, to accept that this is a normal part of the process. And as things continue to become more and more real (like the crib getting set up, my belly getting bigger, saying goodbye at work) I'll breathe and believe that I'll rock it! The labour/delivery thing and of course the motherhood thing cause I'm more than capable of being a fantastic mother. Even if right at the moment it scares the crazy out of me!
N.
I know this sounds ridiculous, I mean I've chosen every action, every decision that got me to this point in my life and I am THRILLED, but I can't help but also feel crazy overwhelmed. It's not like life eases you into parenthood, it's BAM! Here's your son or daughter, congrats!!! By the way... good luck! have fun! you'll figure it out (with very little sleep). Yah! I have friends with kids, I see/hear what they go through. I'm not naive.
But then again I knew that if I went through life without even trying to have a child and doing the mom thing then I'd regret it. I knew that I absolutely love my job and investing in the lives of children, it's my calling. So having babies just made sense. But having a plan, and planning for that plan and talking about the plan is SO different than living it! You experience so many more anxieties, fears, inadequacies, when living it.
So what am I doing? I'm praying! It's always my "go to" I know that God will be there to offer peace and comfort. Even if you don't believe that, I do and it gives me an incredible strength and peace. I also go to Cam and share my thoughts. Just today he reassured me how normal all this is... it's OK to feel overwhelmed and emotional. I love him! He also told me that my stretch marks are beauty marks! SO SWEET!
So I'll continue to pray, to accept that this is a normal part of the process. And as things continue to become more and more real (like the crib getting set up, my belly getting bigger, saying goodbye at work) I'll breathe and believe that I'll rock it! The labour/delivery thing and of course the motherhood thing cause I'm more than capable of being a fantastic mother. Even if right at the moment it scares the crazy out of me!
N.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
30 weeks pregnant!
How far along: 30 weeks pregnant! Let the 10 week countdown begin :)
Size of baby: butternut squash
(17 inches & 3.1 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: wahoo! No change this week, so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!
Maternity clothes: I REALLY want to buy something new! :) We're doing a maternity shoot in March and I want to get a new outfit for it... maybe I'll get that dress at Old Navy that I really liked!
Movement: SO much movement! This babe is active :) my belly had obvious waves going on last night at bible study
Sleep: since I have no more work stress sleep has been wonderful! Bubba likes to be most active at night so it's fun to fall asleep to the movements :)
Cravings: I've had a serious McDonalds craving for weeks now! Just might have to give in to get rid of it.
Symptoms: heartburn SUCKS! But since I'm no longer "cross-cross applesauce", squatting eye level, picking up toys, cleaning child size tables & spaces, sitting in the nap room or picking up children all day long my back/hip/sciatic aren't as sore. It's AWESOME!
Best moment of the week: saying good-bye to everyone at work, it was so hard but I felt so loved and appreciated! Thank-you :)
Happy Tuesday!
N.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
good-bye work, it's been fun!
This Friday is my last day at work before Bubba is born. It's really surreal to me that I'll be at home after one and a half days left (I'm only working a half day tomorrow). WOW! It went by so fast and I'm going to miss those kids so much! I've spent so much time with them since September and now the babe inside of me needs me off my feet and healthy. So the best choice is to listen to my doctor and go off work.
I've had an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family, co-workers and parents at work. THANK-YOU! It really made me feel down right sad and depressed when I realized I couldn't work any longer due to pregnancy complications. But after a lot of encouraging words, I've been able to see that I've just got to do what needs to be done and that's growing a healthy baby! Who knew making a human would be so hard? :)
So here is my TO DO list for my days at home after Friday:
1. Go through my boxes I still have packed from our move 1 1/2 years ago!
2. Organize my kitchen cupboards so that my kitchen is much more functional and clean!
3. Go through my closet, apparently Cam insists that the mess in there is mine (yah, right!)
4. Plan out and prepare freezer meals to get Cam and I through the first weeks when Bubba arrives. This way we eat well and don't have to worry about groceries or money used to eat out. Also, clean out deep freezer.
5. Go through living room hutch and transfer ECE stuff into bins for storage.
6. Do taxes
7. Re-do our budget/spending/saving
8. Create a cleaning schedule to keep on top of the gross mess that will accumulate in here. Do a deep clean first!
9. Look for, choose, order prints and pick frames for pictures to be hung around our home... FINALLY! Also secure dates for our maternity photo shoot and newborn photo shoot.
10. Read everything Kortney passes my way in terms of labour and delivery and newborns! Watch the movie "the business of being born"
11. Register at the hospital and schedule a tour
12. Get "padsicles" ready, pack my hospital bag, shop for things I want with me at the hospital, research what I'll need for the hospital.
13. Pick out Bubba's "coming home" outfit!!!
14. Finish Bubba's room
15. Take frequent naps, rest like crazy, read, walk, spend quality time with Cam, enjoy babes movements and get a name list together!!!!
Of course I'll be taking it easy, I'll be focusing on nothing else but this baby and getting ready for the most incredible blessing of my life! So goodbye work, I'll miss you for sure but I'm ready to be home and await my baby :)
N.
I've had an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family, co-workers and parents at work. THANK-YOU! It really made me feel down right sad and depressed when I realized I couldn't work any longer due to pregnancy complications. But after a lot of encouraging words, I've been able to see that I've just got to do what needs to be done and that's growing a healthy baby! Who knew making a human would be so hard? :)
So here is my TO DO list for my days at home after Friday:
1. Go through my boxes I still have packed from our move 1 1/2 years ago!
2. Organize my kitchen cupboards so that my kitchen is much more functional and clean!
3. Go through my closet, apparently Cam insists that the mess in there is mine (yah, right!)
4. Plan out and prepare freezer meals to get Cam and I through the first weeks when Bubba arrives. This way we eat well and don't have to worry about groceries or money used to eat out. Also, clean out deep freezer.
5. Go through living room hutch and transfer ECE stuff into bins for storage.
6. Do taxes
7. Re-do our budget/spending/saving
8. Create a cleaning schedule to keep on top of the gross mess that will accumulate in here. Do a deep clean first!
9. Look for, choose, order prints and pick frames for pictures to be hung around our home... FINALLY! Also secure dates for our maternity photo shoot and newborn photo shoot.
10. Read everything Kortney passes my way in terms of labour and delivery and newborns! Watch the movie "the business of being born"
11. Register at the hospital and schedule a tour
12. Get "padsicles" ready, pack my hospital bag, shop for things I want with me at the hospital, research what I'll need for the hospital.
13. Pick out Bubba's "coming home" outfit!!!
14. Finish Bubba's room
15. Take frequent naps, rest like crazy, read, walk, spend quality time with Cam, enjoy babes movements and get a name list together!!!!
Of course I'll be taking it easy, I'll be focusing on nothing else but this baby and getting ready for the most incredible blessing of my life! So goodbye work, I'll miss you for sure but I'm ready to be home and await my baby :)
N.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
29 weeks pregnant :)
How far along: 29 weeks! WOW!
Size of baby: small cabbage
(17 inches & 2.9 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: this weigh in was rough! I blame the great meal I had last night at my dads birthday dinner :) I'm up 2.2lbs this week, so total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!
Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :) I just might use my Christmas money after my appointment Thursday.
Movement: lots and lots! And very strong, I'm going to miss it once babe comes out.
Sleep: it's hit and miss these days. Last night I hardly slept, heartburn has crept back which attacks me in the middle of the night. Thank goodness I still have an ample supply of Zantac on hand :)
Cravings: everything my diabetes tells me I shouldn't be eating. NOT fun, I haven't had the greatest blood sugar numbers lately :( really nervous about that for my Thursday appointment.
Symptoms: same old same old, although heartburn and exhaustion are back. Also my hips, siatic and lower back HURT! I can't wait to get that massage that was ordered by my doctor!
Best moment of the week: when a girl at work while saying goodbye told me she wanted to hug my baby and then hugged my baby belly. I'm going to miss these kids SO much!
Happy Tuesday!
N.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Bubba's room!
Would you like to take a peek into Bubba's room?!
Bubba's room is coming together quite quickly these past few weeks. We've got the crib in so the office is now moved to the storage room (which Cam has proclaimed his "man cave") and the dresser has been painted (take a look at the pic below). Can you believe that the crib came from a garage sale that Cams parents found and repurposed? And the dresser was made by my grandfather, Cam just spruced it up!
This green was SO hard for me to commit to, it's gorgeous now that I see it done. I love it! And believe boy or girl, we can make it work with whatever else we bring into the room. We still want a glider chair that can be moved to our living room later when I'm done nursing. It would be nice to put down an area rug but it's not something essential for before Bubba's born. We'll put up shelving to store the cloth diapers (probably something from ikea) above the dresser so I can use the top as a change table.
Like our fabric choice? It sure pays to have a mother in law who sews and is willing to share her talents. I loooove this fabric! It'll be used to make bedding and curtains! I'll post again when the room is all done, put together and waiting for Bubbas arrival. I can't wait :)
We've got so much more done than we both realized. Walking through the baby store today our wish list was smaller than we thought it'd be! If you're interested in what we're looking for, here it is:
* ergo baby carrier
* woven wrap carrier
* gliding chair
* travel booster seat
* basic baby monitor
* avent bottles & accessories (my pump is an avent manual)
* bathing tub
* nursing accessories (like nursing pads, cream, etc...)
* pacifiers (Cam specifically wants some Canuck ones)
* grooming/health kit (thermometer, nail clippers, nasal aspirator, etc...)
* child proofing kit
* disposable diapers & wipes (to get us through the first few weeks)
* swaddling blankets
* receiving blankets
* burp cloths
* clothes, sleepers, onesies (3+ month sizes)
* crib sheets
* humidifier
* dishwasher infant basket (for all the little baby things that need sanitization)
* baby/infant toys
* board books
* bibs
* privacy nursing thingy
* our cloth diaper preferred brand is Tender Tushies if you feel inclined to buy us more!
* gift cards to Motherhood or other maternity stores so I can get nursing tops & bras would be AMAZING!
* ANY gift cards for baby stores like babies R us, Carter's or children's place would be accepted with much enthusiasm!
I'm sure there are more little things that'd be nice but this is our wish list. Not that we expect anything from anyone but we've had a few friends ask and so I thought I'd post it here. It's for myself too! This way I know exactly what we still need/want :)
29 weeks tomorrow!!!!
N.
Bubba's room is coming together quite quickly these past few weeks. We've got the crib in so the office is now moved to the storage room (which Cam has proclaimed his "man cave") and the dresser has been painted (take a look at the pic below). Can you believe that the crib came from a garage sale that Cams parents found and repurposed? And the dresser was made by my grandfather, Cam just spruced it up!
This green was SO hard for me to commit to, it's gorgeous now that I see it done. I love it! And believe boy or girl, we can make it work with whatever else we bring into the room. We still want a glider chair that can be moved to our living room later when I'm done nursing. It would be nice to put down an area rug but it's not something essential for before Bubba's born. We'll put up shelving to store the cloth diapers (probably something from ikea) above the dresser so I can use the top as a change table.
Like our fabric choice? It sure pays to have a mother in law who sews and is willing to share her talents. I loooove this fabric! It'll be used to make bedding and curtains! I'll post again when the room is all done, put together and waiting for Bubbas arrival. I can't wait :)
We've got so much more done than we both realized. Walking through the baby store today our wish list was smaller than we thought it'd be! If you're interested in what we're looking for, here it is:
* ergo baby carrier
* woven wrap carrier
* gliding chair
* travel booster seat
* basic baby monitor
* avent bottles & accessories (my pump is an avent manual)
* bathing tub
* nursing accessories (like nursing pads, cream, etc...)
* pacifiers (Cam specifically wants some Canuck ones)
* grooming/health kit (thermometer, nail clippers, nasal aspirator, etc...)
* child proofing kit
* disposable diapers & wipes (to get us through the first few weeks)
* swaddling blankets
* receiving blankets
* burp cloths
* clothes, sleepers, onesies (3+ month sizes)
* crib sheets
* humidifier
* dishwasher infant basket (for all the little baby things that need sanitization)
* baby/infant toys
* board books
* bibs
* privacy nursing thingy
* our cloth diaper preferred brand is Tender Tushies if you feel inclined to buy us more!
* gift cards to Motherhood or other maternity stores so I can get nursing tops & bras would be AMAZING!
* ANY gift cards for baby stores like babies R us, Carter's or children's place would be accepted with much enthusiasm!
I'm sure there are more little things that'd be nice but this is our wish list. Not that we expect anything from anyone but we've had a few friends ask and so I thought I'd post it here. It's for myself too! This way I know exactly what we still need/want :)
29 weeks tomorrow!!!!
N.
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Stretch marks
I don't think it would have mattered how much I psyched myself out for the daily body changes happening this pregnancy. The moment I saw that first tiny red stretch mark on my belly, I was heartbroken. I pouted, I made Cam promise me he'd still love me no matter how ugly my belly would be after Bubba exits it. I was having a moment of complete sadness, believing that I would never be confident in my body ever again. I was picturing a saggy, red marked, wrinkled mess. It freaked me out!!
Then I took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and realized that the baby growing in this belly is FAR more important than the marks made to bring him/her here. That the belly that's left after the labour process is done is one to be worn proudly, and I have the power to change it with sweat and determination.
I can say for certain that the hormones of this third trimester are impacting me in a very dramatic way! There are more tears, more emotion, less energy, much more intense physical pain and a very obvious BIG baby belly that just keeps growing (and stretching!).
My endo scars have become the source of the stretch marks, the very marks that helped Bubba come to be are stretching to accommodate his/her home. I guess it's just all apart of the process. I know it's going to be worth it, and I'm more than proud of my achievements thus far this pregnancy; keeping my weight gain in check, exercising often, working full time. I'm going to be okay, my body will still be beautiful and my belly will carry addition marks that I will choose to carry proudly! :)
N.
Then I took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and realized that the baby growing in this belly is FAR more important than the marks made to bring him/her here. That the belly that's left after the labour process is done is one to be worn proudly, and I have the power to change it with sweat and determination.
I can say for certain that the hormones of this third trimester are impacting me in a very dramatic way! There are more tears, more emotion, less energy, much more intense physical pain and a very obvious BIG baby belly that just keeps growing (and stretching!).
My endo scars have become the source of the stretch marks, the very marks that helped Bubba come to be are stretching to accommodate his/her home. I guess it's just all apart of the process. I know it's going to be worth it, and I'm more than proud of my achievements thus far this pregnancy; keeping my weight gain in check, exercising often, working full time. I'm going to be okay, my body will still be beautiful and my belly will carry addition marks that I will choose to carry proudly! :)
N.
Monday, February 04, 2013
28 weeks pregnant, 3rd trimester... FINALLY!
How far along: 28 weeks! 3rd trimester is here!!
Size of baby: head of cauliflower (16 inches & 2.5 pounds)
Weight gain/loss: since my weeks change over on Tuesdays now I weigh in Tuesday mornings. Gained for the first time in three weeks! Up one pound, total gain of 11.6 pounds so far.
Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :)
Movement: it's definitely getting stronger and stronger as the days and weeks go by. When Bubba moves you can actually see my stomach move around which is amazing! Cam & my mom have seen it, I love watching it! Bubba also moves A LOT around 10pm, which is when I'm usually going to bed.
Sleep: getting out of bed every 2-3 hours to pee sucks and hurts :( but it's okay, I get back in bed and back to sleep quite quickly which is really nice!
Cravings: I'm probably a bit too brave with my gestational diabetes meals. I want McDonalds SO bad right now and I'm "testing" my sugar readings to see if I can get away with having a full banana at breakfast or a small bowl of ice cream after dinner :)
Symptoms: stretch marks :'( this one has been harder than I thought to cope with. I'm really terrified that my tummy with be HIDEOUS after the delivery. But I guess that is something I need to come to terms with, that I will probably look different but that it's okay. Other than that I'm still having siatic pain, hip and lower back pain and getting generally worn down. Also, REALLY emotional. I had a crying episode twice on the weekend, one in the middle of the night Saturday night for a couple hours and the other on Sunday morning and a bit at church. I'm sure that'll continue to happen! (poor Cam!). Leg cramps this morning too and swollen hands and feet are starting... Wearing my rings in my necklace now for just in case :)
Best moment of the week: going to my new maternity clinic and feeling AWESOME there! Having things sorted out that should have been taken care of and getting off thyroid pills I should have never been taking.
Happy Tuesday everyone! :)
N.
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