getting closer :)

So I haven't really updated anything other than my belly (which is still getting bigger by the way!). Bubba's room is coming along very nicely, we've received and assembled the gliding chair. The storage for clothes and things is done in the closet and we're just trying to figure out shelving. Grandma Stehr (cams mom) has made Bubba's curtains and is finishing his/her baby blanket for the crib. The car seat is out and awaiting a cleaning so it can go into the car this week. My hospital bag is on the dresser awaiting a few more items before its ready to go! And the cradle has been moved from the garage to our living room for Bubba's nap times. Equipped with a mattress, sheet and soft blanket.





Yesterday we had our maternity photo shoot done by a friend of mine who is SO talented and has started her own business.
Check out her website here:
http://www.ellahausphotography.com/
So we are very excited about that! Angela will also be doing our newborn photo shoot when Bubba gets here.

I've been feeling good lately, I am very grateful for an amazing husband, parents, family and a fabulous doula! My doctors are AMAZING! And I can't wait for this little one to make an appearance. Not only do I finally feel ready enough in terms of preparation in our home for Bubba to be here. But I feel ready emotionally to take on the beautiful challenge of labor and birth my child naturally.


SO swollen!!! hands & feet :)

I must say; it is imperative that I keep my mind focused on positivity and my absolute natural ability to labor without meds. I hope and wish that friends and family will continue to support me by agreeing to be positive alongside me. Thank-you!

Happy Easter everyone! We've had a fabulous weekend and look forward to spring and all it has in store!

Until Tuesday :)
N.

35 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 35 weeks! Next week I'll be 9 months pregnant.

Size of baby: large cantaloupe
(19 - 22 inches & 5.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3.2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 21.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly had a really hard time with this number this morning. I've been having a tough time with the whole weight gain process in general. The only explanation other then baby growing is the sudden increase of dairy I've been consuming. I feel the need to do some extra pricking to keep me accountable.

Maternity clothes: nothing new, nothing to update. My jeans are getting uncomfortable so I'm in my tights a lot.

Movement: so much movement! This baby is very very active and I'm now feeling the hiccups on a regular basis which is a lot of fun.

Sleep: some nights it's great, other nights not so much. So it's just depending on my exhaustion level and my heartburn. I'm giving up on the pregnancy pillow most nights and my trick is to massage my feet before bed to try and avoid the spasms.

Cravings: something to drink other than water & raspberry leaf tea. I get carbonated water but it would be nice to have a great glass of wine or juice.

Symptoms: lately I've had huge swollen feet and hands. It's horrible!! (could be contributing to my crazy weight gain). I'm VERY hormonal and quite sad, that's been hard considering I really am happy in life. I'm still nauseous on occasion and just feel REALLY really big at all times. I'm actually measuring 38 weeks but that's partly because Bubba hasn't dropped yet.

Best moment of the week: seeing David & Carley Iwai last night was great! We got our gliding chair delivered today, my taxes are finally done (yes!), we got a couple "to-do's" crossed our list and we fine tuned our baby name choices. So progress is being made and I'm glad for that.

Tonight I need a relaxing warm bath to pray and get things sorted out in my crazy prego mind.

Until next time :)
N.

simply uncomfortable

You know that time in pregnancy where your "baggy" shirts become tight, you feel absolutely enormous and bloated and you're out of breath after just walking up one flight of stairs? Yep! That's where I am about now... It hit me recently like a sack of bricks! Just BAM!

I am definitely looking forward to labor and holding this baby in my arms. I'm ready! Did you hear me Bubba? Mammas ready, so you can come anytime now! But I guess we should wait until full term, so anytime after April 9th okay sweetheart?!

N.

34 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 34 weeks! 8 1/2 months, wow it's gone by so fast.

Size of baby: pineapple (19-22 inches & 4.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I was scared of the scale this morning, I know my belly got bigger (I can just feel it) so naturally I thought I gained big again. Yet, the scale went down a tiny bit! Just by 0.2lbs but that's ok by me. So that's a total gain of 18.6lbs this pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: I keep trying to put new outfits together, my tights are still the BEST!

Movement: babe was moving a lot when I was baking cam cookies this afternoon :) I think Bubba also enjoyed my raspberry leaf tea this morning! (and yes I got the go ahead from my dula to drink the tea)

Sleep: it's still a struggle for me to get a full nights sleep but I'm surviving and allowing myself to just be lazy on days that I need it (like today) without any guilt. Also, Zantac is AWESOME!

Cravings: I still want candy, ice-cream & all the Easter goodies that are out. Especially paska! Mmmmmmm..... paska!

Symptoms: legs that spaz, Braxton hicks, cramps... you know, the usual third trimester stuff. It's ok though because soon I'll have my gorgeous babe in my arms.

Best moment of the week: I'm honestly not sure, I had some great days spent with my mom this week. Cam and I went to ikea and bought stuff for the house to make it feel more like home. I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in a while which was SO fun! Things are going great, I'm really happy! & I'm really excited!

Happy Tuesday!
N.

33 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 33 weeks!

Size of baby: honey dew
(19 inches & 4 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale went up again, 3 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 18.8lbs this pregnancy. I honestly FREAKED! That's a big gain and I had no idea why until it dawned on me that I've been eating extra everyday cause Bubba is pushing up on my stomach causing me some serious heartburn and nausea. I've been eating to try and make the uncomfortable feeling go away. I'm going to definitely be tracking my food intake again to make sure I don't jump that next time.

Maternity clothes: nothing new, I checked a couple stores today but just felt like I couldn't make any decisions so I left it. I need nursing bras but will wait until I'm 36-37 weeks before I get a few.


Movement: so much movement! This baby is very active and I LOVE it :)

Sleep: I feel really tired a lot of the time so I must be waking up often during the night. The heartburn really gets me at night but the doc today told me to start taking Zantac twice a day, so I'm starting that tomorrow.

Cravings: Cam made cookies again a couple days ago, need I say more?

Symptoms: the heartburn and nausea is the worst right now. I'm still struggling to keep my eating under control so that my sugar readings stay low. And my legs freak out on a regular basis, that's the worst when I just want to sleep or relax on the couch.

Best moment of the week: meeting with Kortney (our dula) and going over a bunch of stuff concerning the labor and what I can expect will/might happen.


This pic was taken in the elevator on our way to see Kortney! Cam took it and he was pretty excited about it! Can you see him??

Until next time :)
N.

I can do it!

Tonight I'm seeing my dula and I'm very excited about it! I'm really fortunate to have a dula who is also my friend. She's been a friend since early high school, I never thought (back then) that she'd be present with me at the birth of my first child. But I am incredibly thankful that she will be. I feel very strongly that I'll need the extra support and just knowing that I'll have a team helps my anxieties.

Now that I'm at 32 weeks pregnant the reality that labor is on its way has really started to sink in. I'm beginning to understand that it has a lot to do with ones mentality. That if I believe I can do it and make it through then I will. If I believe that my body has been created to do this, then I can put my trust in my natural abilities. I haven't done Lamaze or yoga, I didn't want to (in all honesty). Prayer has always been my source of strength, no matter my circumstance I have prayed through everything. I know I can search within and pray through this experience as well. And with the guidance of my dula I can figure out what will work for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that prayer won't make my pain magically go away. I also don't believe that God will suddenly make things easier, even if I beg. But I believe that it'll be what helps me focus and for me that's what matters.

At this time however, I feel very unprepared for labor and I'm not sure why. If it started today I may start freaking out!! Maybe it's because I keep coming across in my researching/reading how women should be going to Lamaze, yoga and practice breathing techniques but I haven't done any of that. Maybe it's because I'm nervous, I know it's going to hurt and I want to do it all without drugs but I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I remember my menstrual cramps before my surgery, they HURT! BAD! And I'm expecting labor to basically be like that, but with the end result of pushing out a baby. I know I'll need lots of encouragement and positive feedback to succeed and not crumble under the pain.

So maybe I should just start saying "I can do it!" "I can deliver Bubba!" "I have the ability to birth my baby" "I believe that I have the strength" "I'm capable!"

Because I am!

N.

32 weeks pregnant!

Technically this photo was taken yesterday but I really liked what I was wearing so I took a picture!

How far along: 32 weeks pregnant! That's EIGHT months!

Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18.5 inches & 3.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the scale finally went up again, 2 pound gain. So that's a total gain of 15.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl! Seems as though the dietician I need to see for my diabetes is ALWAYS more concerned about my weight than my doctor and I. It's rather frustrating since I'm doing my best and by golly I thought I was doing quite well! I'm really not all that worried about it.

Maternity clothes: I bought pregnancy tights... they are THE BEST EVER!!! Every pregnant woman needs pregnancy tights & pregnancy underwear, they are equally amazing!

Movement: lots of movement, it's "violent" movements too! Not just pretty fluttering/rolling type sensations anymore. My belly moves around and I can feel that there is an actual baby in there.

Sleep: did you know that pregnancy insomnia is an actual thing that affects 70% of pregnant women? Yah, neither did I until I stopped falling asleep at night because my leg started freaking out and my heartburn went crazy out of control. Then once I do finally get to sleep I inevitably wake up an hour after to pee!

Cravings: Cam made cookies last week, so now when I'm home at lunch all I think about is chocolate chip cookies. And 5 cent candies, I REALLY want candy!

Symptoms: my diabetes machine is apparently fine and after I started paying much closer attention to the way I was handling how I pricked, my numbers went significantly down!! Therefore, my doc said I can prick less!!!! Like every OTHER day! So I'm much better with what I'm eating, when I'm eating and how much. Plus, I'm walking every single day for like a hour.

Best moment of the week: my amazing bible study friends threw me a baby shower last night! We chatted about a whole bunch of baby stuff, ate great food, they gave me amazing gifts and crowded around me to pray! I felt incredibly loved and blessed! THANK-you :)

*yawn* I'm tired, nap time!
N.

31 weeks pregnant!

Just one photo this week! I liked this one the best :)

How far along: 31 weeks pregnant!

Size of baby: head of lettuce
(18 inches & 3.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: once again, no change this week! so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: my lovely friend Karen who had a baby boy recently (congrats again!) let me borrow a bunch of her maternity clothes! THANK-YOU!

Movement: I am absolutely loving the movement, it's so strong! Bubba's even taken to shoving its bum into my diaphragm causing pain at times (yippee!).

Sleep: I DESPISE PREGNANCY PILLOWS!! And yes, ALL of them! My chiropractor says I need one and I can tell the difference in my back pain when I say F**K it at night and don't sleep with one but it's waking me up all the time cause I like moving around. Also I'm getting heartburn the moment I lay flat in bed... which is awesome! lol.

Cravings: Mexican food... Mmmm, burritos!!! And 5 cent candies, the sugary kind. I want candy SO BAD!

Symptoms: diabetes SUCKS!!! but I think I'm doing it wrong or my machine is messed up. I'm getting high numbers but then I'll check again right away and I'll get a different number (like 0.5 less or more) right afterwards. SO frustrating and I'm feeling on & off crappy about it. I do NOT want to go on insulin.

Best moment of the week: meeting my friend Karens new baby boy Ben and thinking to myself "I know I can do this!". Also when my fabulous friend Alissa called me and I bawled on the phone with her about diabetes stuff. She calmed me down and educated me! And cant forget that Cams been a sweet heart with my crazy cleaning/nesting madness :)

Ok, gotta run! Registered at the hospital today! :)
N.

Who are you Bubba??

As I approach 31 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) I'm starting to understand how these crazy hormones are affecting my thoughts, feelings, emotions and perceptions on everything!! It's been a lot easier to recently identify what's "me" and what's "hormonal". I hope that continues after Bubba's born, I've heard how overwhelming post baby hormones can be. While at church yesterday I had this picture in my mind during worship of me sitting in the hospital bed holding my new baby, staring into its eyes and I just about lost it! I can't believe how close that day actually is.

I'm starting to get REALLY curious as to who this little baby is growing inside of me. Is it a boy? A girl? What name will we end up choosing? Will he/she have blonde hair? Darker hair? Blue eyes like Cam or green eyes like me? Will baby be active or calm? Colic or not? Tall? Short? What will he/she like? Not like? My goodness it's endless the possibilities of who this child is!

Who will it look like? Or will he/she be the perfect mixture of us both? When I close my eyes to try and picture Bubba it's not clear because I truly have no clue. I was so sure at the beginning that Bubba is a boy but now... I have NO guess! No "feeling", no clue! Only Leigh-Ann knows for sure :)

9 more weeks to go! Then at least some of these questions will be answered!!

Bubba sweetie, I can't wait to hold you!
N.

Wait a minute... I'm having a baby!!!

As I sit here in bed with my nettle tea, left leg spazzing, lower back hurting and strong Bubba movements I realize the plainly obvious fact that I AM HAVING A BABY! This kid can come out at any time and have a very strong chance of making it. Therefore, I'm a mommy! I, me, Nicole Elisabeth is Bubba's momma. WOW! HOLY CRAP! When/how did that happen? (don't answer that, I know how! 😉).

I know this sounds ridiculous, I mean I've chosen every action, every decision that got me to this point in my life and I am THRILLED, but I can't help but also feel crazy overwhelmed. It's not like life eases you into parenthood, it's BAM! Here's your son or daughter, congrats!!! By the way... good luck! have fun! you'll figure it out (with very little sleep). Yah! I have friends with kids, I see/hear what they go through. I'm not naive.

But then again I knew that if I went through life without even trying to have a child and doing the mom thing then I'd regret it. I knew that I absolutely love my job and investing in the lives of children, it's my calling. So having babies just made sense. But having a plan, and planning for that plan and talking about the plan is SO different than living it! You experience so many more anxieties, fears, inadequacies, when living it.

So what am I doing? I'm praying! It's always my "go to" I know that God will be there to offer peace and comfort. Even if you don't believe that, I do and it gives me an incredible strength and peace. I also go to Cam and share my thoughts. Just today he reassured me how normal all this is... it's OK to feel overwhelmed and emotional. I love him! He also told me that my stretch marks are beauty marks! SO SWEET!

So I'll continue to pray, to accept that this is a normal part of the process. And as things continue to become more and more real (like the crib getting set up, my belly getting bigger, saying goodbye at work) I'll breathe and believe that I'll rock it! The labour/delivery thing and of course the motherhood thing cause I'm more than capable of being a fantastic mother. Even if right at the moment it scares the crazy out of me!

N.

30 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 30 weeks pregnant! Let the 10 week countdown begin :)

Size of baby: butternut squash
(17 inches & 3.1 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: wahoo! No change this week, so a total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: I REALLY want to buy something new! :) We're doing a maternity shoot in March and I want to get a new outfit for it... maybe I'll get that dress at Old Navy that I really liked!

Movement: SO much movement! This babe is active :) my belly had obvious waves going on last night at bible study

Sleep: since I have no more work stress sleep has been wonderful! Bubba likes to be most active at night so it's fun to fall asleep to the movements :)


Cravings: I've had a serious McDonalds craving for weeks now! Just might have to give in to get rid of it.

Symptoms: heartburn SUCKS! But since I'm no longer "cross-cross applesauce", squatting eye level, picking up toys, cleaning child size tables & spaces, sitting in the nap room or picking up children all day long my back/hip/sciatic aren't as sore. It's AWESOME!


Best moment of the week: saying good-bye to everyone at work, it was so hard but I felt so loved and appreciated! Thank-you :)

Happy Tuesday!
N.

good-bye work, it's been fun!

This Friday is my last day at work before Bubba is born. It's really surreal to me that I'll be at home after one and a half days left (I'm only working a half day tomorrow). WOW! It went by so fast and I'm going to miss those kids so much! I've spent so much time with them since September and now the babe inside of me needs me off my feet and healthy. So the best choice is to listen to my doctor and go off work.

I've had an overwhelming amount of support from friends, family, co-workers and parents at work. THANK-YOU! It really made me feel down right sad and depressed when I realized I couldn't work any longer due to pregnancy complications. But after a lot of encouraging words, I've been able to see that I've just got to do what needs to be done and that's growing a healthy baby! Who knew making a human would be so hard? :)

So here is my TO DO list for my days at home after Friday:

1. Go through my boxes I still have packed from our move 1 1/2 years ago!

2. Organize my kitchen cupboards so that my kitchen is much more functional and clean!

3. Go through my closet, apparently Cam insists that the mess in there is mine (yah, right!)

4. Plan out and prepare freezer meals to get Cam and I through the first weeks when Bubba arrives. This way we eat well and don't have to worry about groceries or money used to eat out. Also, clean out deep freezer.

5. Go through living room hutch and transfer ECE stuff into bins for storage.

6. Do taxes

7. Re-do our budget/spending/saving

8. Create a cleaning schedule to keep on top of the gross mess that will accumulate in here. Do a deep clean first!

9. Look for, choose, order prints and pick frames for pictures to be hung around our home... FINALLY! Also secure dates for our maternity photo shoot and newborn photo shoot.

10. Read everything Kortney passes my way in terms of labour and delivery and newborns! Watch the movie "the business of being born"

11. Register at the hospital and schedule a tour

12. Get "padsicles" ready, pack my hospital bag, shop for things I want with me at the hospital, research what I'll need for the hospital.

13. Pick out Bubba's "coming home" outfit!!!

14. Finish Bubba's room

15. Take frequent naps, rest like crazy, read, walk, spend quality time with Cam, enjoy babes movements and get a name list together!!!!

Of course I'll be taking it easy, I'll be focusing on nothing else but this baby and getting ready for the most incredible blessing of my life! So goodbye work, I'll miss you for sure but I'm ready to be home and await my baby :)

N.

29 weeks pregnant :)

How far along: 29 weeks! WOW!

Size of baby: small cabbage
(17 inches & 2.9 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: this weigh in was rough! I blame the great meal I had last night at my dads birthday dinner :) I'm up 2.2lbs this week, so total gain of 13.8lbs this pregnancy. As long as I stick to a 20-25lb gain in total then I'll be a happy girl!

Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :) I just might use my Christmas money after my appointment Thursday.

Movement: lots and lots! And very strong, I'm going to miss it once babe comes out.

Sleep: it's hit and miss these days. Last night I hardly slept, heartburn has crept back which attacks me in the middle of the night. Thank goodness I still have an ample supply of Zantac on hand :)


Cravings: everything my diabetes tells me I shouldn't be eating. NOT fun, I haven't had the greatest blood sugar numbers lately :( really nervous about that for my Thursday appointment.

Symptoms: same old same old, although heartburn and exhaustion are back. Also my hips, siatic and lower back HURT! I can't wait to get that massage that was ordered by my doctor!

Best moment of the week: when a girl at work while saying goodbye told me she wanted to hug my baby and then hugged my baby belly. I'm going to miss these kids SO much!

Happy Tuesday!
N.

Bubba's room!

Would you like to take a peek into Bubba's room?!


Bubba's room is coming together quite quickly these past few weeks. We've got the crib in so the office is now moved to the storage room (which Cam has proclaimed his "man cave") and the dresser has been painted (take a look at the pic below). Can you believe that the crib came from a garage sale that Cams parents found and repurposed? And the dresser was made by my grandfather, Cam just spruced it up!


This green was SO hard for me to commit to, it's gorgeous now that I see it done. I love it! And believe boy or girl, we can make it work with whatever else we bring into the room. We still want a glider chair that can be moved to our living room later when I'm done nursing. It would be nice to put down an area rug but it's not something essential for before Bubba's born. We'll put up shelving to store the cloth diapers (probably something from ikea) above the dresser so I can use the top as a change table.


Like our fabric choice? It sure pays to have a mother in law who sews and is willing to share her talents. I loooove this fabric! It'll be used to make bedding and curtains! I'll post again when the room is all done, put together and waiting for Bubbas arrival. I can't wait :)

We've got so much more done than we both realized. Walking through the baby store today our wish list was smaller than we thought it'd be! If you're interested in what we're looking for, here it is:

* ergo baby carrier
* woven wrap carrier
* gliding chair
* travel booster seat
* basic baby monitor
* avent bottles & accessories (my pump is an avent manual)
* bathing tub
* nursing accessories (like nursing pads, cream, etc...)
* pacifiers (Cam specifically wants some Canuck ones)
* grooming/health kit (thermometer, nail clippers, nasal aspirator, etc...)
* child proofing kit
* disposable diapers & wipes (to get us through the first few weeks)
* swaddling blankets
* receiving blankets
* burp cloths
* clothes, sleepers, onesies (3+ month sizes)
* crib sheets
* humidifier
* dishwasher infant basket (for all the little baby things that need sanitization)
* baby/infant toys
* board books
* bibs
* privacy nursing thingy
* our cloth diaper preferred brand is Tender Tushies if you feel inclined to buy us more!
* gift cards to Motherhood or other maternity stores so I can get nursing tops & bras would be AMAZING!
* ANY gift cards for baby stores like babies R us, Carter's or children's place would be accepted with much enthusiasm!

I'm sure there are more little things that'd be nice but this is our wish list. Not that we expect anything from anyone but we've had a few friends ask and so I thought I'd post it here. It's for myself too! This way I know exactly what we still need/want :)

29 weeks tomorrow!!!!
N.

Stretch marks

I don't think it would have mattered how much I psyched myself out for the daily body changes happening this pregnancy. The moment I saw that first tiny red stretch mark on my belly, I was heartbroken. I pouted, I made Cam promise me he'd still love me no matter how ugly my belly would be after Bubba exits it. I was having a moment of complete sadness, believing that I would never be confident in my body ever again. I was picturing a saggy, red marked, wrinkled mess. It freaked me out!!

Then I took a deep breath, wiped away the tears and realized that the baby growing in this belly is FAR more important than the marks made to bring him/her here. That the belly that's left after the labour process is done is one to be worn proudly, and I have the power to change it with sweat and determination.

I can say for certain that the hormones of this third trimester are impacting me in a very dramatic way! There are more tears, more emotion, less energy, much more intense physical pain and a very obvious BIG baby belly that just keeps growing (and stretching!).

My endo scars have become the source of the stretch marks, the very marks that helped Bubba come to be are stretching to accommodate his/her home. I guess it's just all apart of the process. I know it's going to be worth it, and I'm more than proud of my achievements thus far this pregnancy; keeping my weight gain in check, exercising often, working full time. I'm going to be okay, my body will still be beautiful and my belly will carry addition marks that I will choose to carry proudly! :)

N.

28 weeks pregnant, 3rd trimester... FINALLY!

How far along: 28 weeks! 3rd trimester is here!!

Size of baby: head of cauliflower (16 inches & 2.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: since my weeks change over on Tuesdays now I weigh in Tuesday mornings. Gained for the first time in three weeks! Up one pound, total gain of 11.6 pounds so far.

Maternity clothes: still haven't bought anything new, I'm wearing my Costco sweaters more often these days though. I REALLY want to buy something new! :)

Movement: it's definitely getting stronger and stronger as the days and weeks go by. When Bubba moves you can actually see my stomach move around which is amazing! Cam & my mom have seen it, I love watching it! Bubba also moves A LOT around 10pm, which is when I'm usually going to bed.

Sleep: getting out of bed every 2-3 hours to pee sucks and hurts :( but it's okay, I get back in bed and back to sleep quite quickly which is really nice!

Cravings: I'm probably a bit too brave with my gestational diabetes meals. I want McDonalds SO bad right now and I'm "testing" my sugar readings to see if I can get away with having a full banana at breakfast or a small bowl of ice cream after dinner :)

Symptoms: stretch marks :'( this one has been harder than I thought to cope with. I'm really terrified that my tummy with be HIDEOUS after the delivery. But I guess that is something I need to come to terms with, that I will probably look different but that it's okay. Other than that I'm still having siatic pain, hip and lower back pain and getting generally worn down. Also, REALLY emotional. I had a crying episode twice on the weekend, one in the middle of the night Saturday night for a couple hours and the other on Sunday morning and a bit at church. I'm sure that'll continue to happen! (poor Cam!). Leg cramps this morning too and swollen hands and feet are starting... Wearing my rings in my necklace now for just in case :)

Best moment of the week: going to my new maternity clinic and feeling AWESOME there! Having things sorted out that should have been taken care of and getting off thyroid pills I should have never been taking.


Happy Tuesday everyone! :)
N.

27 weeks pregnant (still)

I felt like I should update, for my own "records" but just in case you're interested too :)

Today was my very first appointment with the Community Birth Program at the Jim Pattison surgical centre with my incredible new doctor. She was great! The appointments are longer (45 minutes), more personable, I even sat on a couch and got checked on the couch rather than on a cold table. I felt taken care of, listened to and given information I was waiting for (regarding hospital registration). It was GREAT!

So a few updates:
1. I lost weight again this week (weird) that puts me back down to a total gain of 10.6lbs. Dr. Weiler told me she's going to monitor that and to STOP losing weight. That's the first time a doctor has said that so far. My weight gain has been great she said! YAY!

2. Bubba's due date changed!!! It probably should have changed back in October after my dating ultrasound in late September. When there is a discrepancy of 5 plus days between the given due date and the dating ultrasound then you're supposed to change the due date. The other clinic never changed it, my new clinic has! New due date: April 30th.

3. I'm measuring 29 weeks, even though I'm now at 27 weeks today. If I measure 3 weeks ahead at the next appointment then I'll be sent for another ultrasound (so I might see you again Leigh Ann).

4. My thyroid blood work shows that I'm hardly hypothyroid. Dr. Weiler said she would have sent me for another blood test before putting me on meds (go figure). But because I'm already on the meds, I should keep it up, so I am. She also said I'm JUST a gestational diabetic so she might not have even bothered referring me if I had been seeing her (again, go figure).

mmmm.... my diabetic chocolate collection (they're SO good!).


My sugars have been GREAT! I really don't think I'm diabetic. But oh well, if this whole process only helps me be healthier then that can't be a bad thing.

Oh, one last thing: the new clinic was horrified when I expressed to them how I was treated on the phone when I called the other clinic last Thursday. They are going to talk to someone about it and make it known to the people that matter how I felt and what happened. I feel so loved and so glad that they're taking the initiative to speak up for me! It's awesome! :)

Okay...I'm starving, time to eat...
Have a fantastic night, and I'll be updating Tuesdays from now on!
N.

Just to clarify...

I really hope that I'm not giving the impression that diabetes is horrible and the end all. Because it absolutely is not!! I do not want anyone to assume that I'm some complainer that can't deal with the reality of my situation because that's not the case either. I've always been the individual who processed best by talking and sharing, this has just been me processing.

And through this stage of accepting what's going on it's been really great to have friends and co-workers come to me with stories of their experiences with gestational diabetes. It honestly helps me to feel like I have some serious support (and I know that I do)!

So why has this process been so emotional for me? Because my family has a long history with diabetes. Especially with my moms mother, Linda Wittrien, who I loved and adored but was sick the entire time I knew her. I do not have a memory of my beloved Oma without her being morbidly obese, pricking her fingers, injecting insulin, taking a cocktail of meds, and more. What was she sick with? Well, a lot I think! But most obviously she had type 2 diabetes and heart disease, but a stroke is what actually killed her.

Unfortunately, my body seems to be quite similar to hers. I'm SO sensitive to so much and I have such a hard time processing (and accepting) what to do about it on a regular basis. Now please don't misunderstand me, I know I'm not my Oma. I try hard to not walk in her foot steps, I'm just recognizing the similarities and its troublesome at times. Telling my mom about my gestational diabetes (who watched her mom slowly die from the decisions she made) went through the same emotional process I went through regarding my diabetes diagnosis. She cried, I cried too.

But just because this is happening doesn't mean I'll get type 2 diabetes. It does NOT mean I'll go through the same experiences my grandmother did. Just because my Oma lived and died a certain way doesn't mean I will live and die the same way. She made her decisions and I'll make mine. I get to have my own life, I can't change my genetics, my sensitivities, the way my body works. BUT I can control the way I live and care for my body, especially now with Bubba taking residence inside It. I'm learning, I'm still processing, I'm trying my best. Like my incredibly wise dula said, it's just a bump along the way. And it is just that!

Thanks for the support!
N.

my baby, my body, MY choice!

I couldn't believe the experience I had today while calling the prenatal clinic I had been seeing to cancel my afternoon appointment and inform them I'm transferring my care to a different maternity clinic.

For weeks now I haven't been able to shake the thought that I should see my family practitioner and ask about my prenatal care options. I finally took the initiative and called, I saw her today and was reminded of why I liked her so much the last time I saw her. Too bad she was on vacation when I got pregnant in the summer. If she had been then I wouldn't of gone through what I did.

An earful of "why's" "come in & talk to the doctor" " we aren't releasing your information" "you're OUR patient and not theirs". There was no attempt at kindness, just rude and crude. I was stunned, shocked, hurt and very upset. Thank goodness my new clinic (who I called after in tears) said to not go in to explain myself and that it's my body and my decision and not to worry or stress. They'll work around the info they can get elsewhere without the release of my file from the other clinic. Phew!

So here I sit on my couch relaxed (finally!) when I am "supposed" to be in a prenatal appointment right now at the crazy mean clinic. I'm grateful I listened to my instincts, I'm upset that someone tried to dictate to me my right to choose who I want to care for me through the rest of my pregnancy. It's MY body, MY baby and MY right to choose.

This new clinic is all about natural birth, with only 6 doctors which include 3 midwives. I'm able to have Kortney as my very own dula still (which my doctor supports). I know this doctor well, I'll see her at every appointment (no more not knowing which doctor I'll see) and I'll still deliver at surrey memorial. She's so understanding about what I do for work and that I'll probably need some medical leave before maternity leave. We talked about my gestational diabetes and she ACTUALLY LISTENED TO ME! I'm SO glad that I'm making this switch.

So women in my position who feel like something just isn't right about your prenatal care. Take it from me, it's YOUR body, YOUR baby and YOUR choice to change care at any time without explanation.

I'm determined now more than ever to listen to MY intuitions and instincts. As the nice receptionist at the new clinic said to me over the phone, "you're going to be a mommy, it's YOUR body and YOUR choice!"

N.

27 weeks pregnant! Last week of my 2nd trimester!

How far along: 27 weeks!

Size of baby: cucumber (15 inches & 2.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I guess there's a positive (among others) in having to watch what I eat. I lost 0.4lbs this week which brings me back down to a 11.6 pound gain in total so far.

Maternity clothes: I'm not sure that there's anything to update in this category. I'm getting bored with what I've got but I'm not willing to go out and buy more right now.


Movement: I can now see my belly moving around!!! It's amazing, I could watch it all day long! I hope to sit Cam down and make him experience it with me soon.

Sleep: still struggling with getting up all the time to pee (SO annoying!). Otherwise, I'm doing the same as last week.

Cravings: haha, I would love to have pizza but won't until I understand more about this diabetic stuff. I'm eating much more fruit, veggies and cut way back on carbs so cravings aren't so overwhelming anymore and I don't need Zantac anymore either. No more heart burn!

Symptoms: the most frequent one that's bothering me the most is my hip and siatic pain. Im hoping that a belly band and my new ordered exercise will help it.


Best moment of the week: ummm... the doctor who broke the news of my gestational diabetes and hypo thyroid was SUPER sweet and I've decided to take the positive from it all. So it could have been a bad moment for me, but it really wasn't. This Friday I get to go to the class and learn what to do. I'm starting to see how much this will help me. That makes me really grateful.

Happy Wednesday everyone! :)
N.

gestational diabetes & my darn thyroid!

Well... It's true, I do indeed have gestational diabetes and hypothyroidism. What this means is that I have a thyroid not producing enough hormones which is slowing down my metabolism and contributing to my exhaustion and constipation. Only this is VERY mild and not worrisome, they just want to get control of it now. And it means that my sugars are JUST high enough to be considered gestational diabetes. The level they send patients to the diabetes clinic is 5.1 and my sugars read at 5.3 on one of my three test times (right when I got there before the sugar drink consumption).

SO! I've been given a prescription that's been filled, one pill a day for my thyroid. Which in fact should give me back my energy and ability to poop HALLELUJAH!!!!! And I've been referred to the diabetes clinic for a class to learn the in's & out's of gestational diabetes, the do's & do not's and how to take my sugar readings daily. Yes, I'll get to do the finger prick every day (woot woot!!). But NO insulin injections (can I get another HALLELUJAH??).

Yesterday I was definitely emotional in regards to going in today to learn the truth of what my tests came back with. But in all honesty, I'm not surprised. My body has always been sensitive and I haven chosen today to look at only the positive. It could have been WAY worse (it wasn't), I could have gotten a shitty doc telling me the news (I didn't, I got a dream doctor), it could have been the scariest moment of my pregnancy and it definitely was not.

I've decided to take this opportunity to kick ass even more in improving my health and make it a complete lifestyle change to better myself and my baby Bubba! Don't you worry, I do NOT eat crap all day (ask Camy) but I can always do better and this has been a serious wake up call for that.

So THANK-YOU! To all my wonderful friends and family who have texted me encouraging words, prayed for my health and supported me through this entire pregnancy thus far! Bubba and I are fabulous and will continue to be fabulous. I just might be poked more with needles than I had once thought, but no bigs!

I guess my chocolate consumption will turn to fruit consumption. Anyone got any great diabetes recipes for me???

Lots of love!
N & Bubba :)

before I know it I'll be "mommy" & not "Teacher Nicole" for most of my days

As I met with my regional director yesterday and talked about my maternity leave I realized that soon I'll be home and not at Prospect anymore. There will be a new teacher and I'll just be a memory to the 20 something children I love and adore at the centre.

I haven't given it much thought until now that I'll be replaced and probably won't be coming back to that particular placement. Instead I'll be at home getting bigger, growing Bubba inside until he/she is ready... waiting for labour to begin. Then everything will be different and instead of being responsible for the care of twenty five children forty hours a week, I'll be responsible for one child 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 365 days a year!!

But I'm nervous in a variety of ways, I'm quite sure that my schooling and ECE experience will influence my parenting. I'm sure that I'll be the mom putting out sensory tables in our house, reading books constantly, stocking up the free art corner daily and encouraging my child to "try" at many many developmentally appropriate tasks they are more than capable of doing before I step in. I'll be the mom that holds her child "too much" in the eyes of others because I believe in it. I'll be the mom who has her three year old in a car seat and breast feeds exclusively until at least a year! My experiences at work have allowed me a lot of time to build my philosophies of how children can be treated and taught to be a successful individual.

But then again I don't want my new title of "mommy" to influence my work and my identity of "teacher". I see too often that teachers get sucked into the adorable eyes of a 2 1/2 year old who proclaims that they just can't put their slippers on their feet (when they just did it for me a hour prior!). These teachers are usually moms who see their children in the eyes of the children at the centre and feel the need to "save" them from everything. Unfortunately "saving" them often debilitates them from learning the various life skills necessary to be successful in kindergarten, in ever day life. When a child learns to manipulate another to do what they want then they learn they never need to do anything for themselves. They won't learn to experience discomfort, frustration, conflict and successfully find a way to deal with it. I'm sure my strong beliefs in my work will not be hindered by my new role as a mom but I can't help but be a little nervous.

Okay, time to get ready for work. I'm closing the centre today. I'm really going to miss these kids when I'm gone :'(
N.

26 weeks pregnant!!

How far along: 26 weeks!

Size of baby: eggplant (9 inches & 2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: up a little this week, that means a total gain of 12 pounds so far. I know that it's a small gain this entire pregnancy but it's still hard to see the scale climb.

Maternity clothes: I'm not sure that there's anything to update in this category. I'm getting bored with what I've got but I'm not willing to go out and buy more right now.


Movement: I love it when Bubba moves! And lately it's been stronger, I had my arm on top my belly yesterday and then all the sudden Bubba kicked it hard!

Sleep: What happened to my beauty sleep?! I'm up an average of 4-6 times a night to pee and turn over. This usually results in me being exhausted :(

Cravings: lots of fruit cravings, salty chips, chocolate. I'm trying to lower my wheat and gluten intake cause the heartburn is crazy and Zantac is working still but not all the time anymore :(

Symptoms: well... if you read my last post then you know my butt hurts. A LOT! Which has become a progressively annoying problem that I'm not very happy with. Oh well, at least in 14 weeks I'll have relief :) But other than that things are going well. Still having heartburn, still having troubles with #2, starting to see the beginnings of a single stretch mark (AHH!), still having baby brain moments and my hair is awesome! No recent nose bleeds, YAY!

Best moment of the week: ummm, for the first time I'm actually straining to think of one. I will say that my gestational diabetes test was... SO great (no actually not at all). But my mom came because Cam was in school and she stayed with me and I had such a great time with her and then she took me out for lunch! Yum! So that was fabulous!


Oh and if you have it in you to tell a pregnant woman that she's HUGE! Please refrain. A mom at work today told me that I'm SO big for 6 1/2 months pregnant. She said this aloud several times and then insisted my baby is a girl. THANKS! Wasn't that the exact thing I needed to hear today after the scale almost made me cry and my butt has been a constant source of agony for days.

Where's my chocolate?! :)
N.

why yes, that does ache... Thank-you!

Honestly, someone should have told me about the aches and pains that come along with pregnancy. Like for instance, my butt! Oh my goodness gracious my butt has never hurt so much in my entire life! Yes, I'm not joking, my right butt cheek aches. My hips are sore, my legs... it's as though I just did hours of a work out or ran a marathon!
I am aware of the fact that I was in horrible shape fitness wise before I got pregnant... but still!

Anyone have any ideas to help the aches?

And WHAT happened to my beauty sleep?! It's like I got to be 25 weeks pregnant and POOF sleep became difficult. I got a pregnancy pillow, it sort of helps but not really.

Gosh Bubba, momma just wants a good nights sleep and her butt to stop hurting. Can you do that for me sweetie? Yah... didn't think so.

*sigh*
N.

Stuff!

You know, I knew that there would be stuff out there for babies but the amount of crap to purchase is incredibly ridiculously overwhelming at times. I decided that in order to diminish the crazy stress, I'd tackle one necessary item at a time.

Thankfully we're not the first ones to have a child out of all the friend circles we have. I've been given bottles, books, nursing pillows, and gifts of clothes, blankets, etc. We've bought a bumbo, stroller, crib, and car seat all used from trusted friends (crib was a garage sale find). My sister is gracious enough to send me maternity clothes, a few cloth diapers and thankfully a breast pump (I'd only accept a used breast pump from her).

So phew! We've got a few things covered. I'm getting cloth diapers from Tender Tushies, after MUCH research and exploration on the topic. I'm thrilled, and YES! I'm cloth diapering. YES! I'm going to be successful at it and nope I'm not afraid of my child's poop. I work in Early Childhood education for goodness sake.

So next on the long list??
- infant/toddler carrier
- rocking/gliding chair
- area rug for Bubba's room
- storage for the cloth diapers
- new light for Bubba's room
- curtains
- some type of art for Bubba's room
- swaddler type clothing like contraption
- receiving blankets
- avent bottles (that's the pump I'm getting)
- burp cloths
- round hospital type pacifiers
- clothes!

I'm missing A LOT I'm sure!! But you know what? I need stuff too.
- nursing bra(s)
- a hair cut
- nursing shirts/tanks
- hip band thingy
- probably bigger shoes by the time I have Bubba
- sports bra and clothing for laboring in the hospital

It never stops and I'm sure it never will. Oh well, I can't wait to meet you little one who's making me pee constantly and causing my right butt cheek to hurt when I sit. I absolutely and desperately love you and can't wait to meet you!!

N.

25 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 25 weeks!

Size of baby: eggplant (9 inches & 1.7 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I gained 2 pounds again this week. That puts me at a gain of 11lbs so far. Considering the fact that Bubba's supposed to be doubling in size, I can handle it :)

Maternity clothes: I'm not sure that there's anything to update in this category. I'm getting bored with what I've got but I'm not willing to go out and buy more right now.

Movement: CAM FELT THE BABY! Two separate times this week and he smiles so big everytime!

Sleep: I counted six times that I woke up the other night cause I had to pee. So that's not fun.

Cravings: I suddenly want to eat constantly, like everything I see that looks good (like those caramel chocolates in front of me here at work). I'm still calorie counting and decided that I'm going to treat my labour like the marathon it is and exercise daily to prepare for it.

Symptoms: honestly, not much this week. Same old same old. Just feeling bigger and slower and I make sure my magic Zantac is taken twice a day like instructed :)

Best moment of the week: when Cam finally felt Bubba move. I was so excited for him, I think it helped him feel more connected to the baby. I can't wait for when the movements are more visible and Cam can see it.


Well, only 15 weeks until my expected delivery date but you never know. Bubs will come when he/she chooses, could be sooner than later :)

My gestational diabetes test is this Saturday morning. Wish me luck! It's the 2 hour test, yikes!

Happy Wednesday!
N.

oh baby names!

I realized once I got pregnant that picking out a name would be one of the hardest parts of preparing for a baby. Other parts of the process I was surprisingly quick to come to terms with. It's going to hurt, I'm going to get BIG, I'm probably going to get every symptom in the book. Okay, I can deal with that. But wait a moment, I have to choose a name for this baby that will grow into a person and it has to carry the name I choose for the rest of its life!? WHOA! That's a lot of pressure! Can't bubba just arrive with a birth certificate indicating the already given name like my cabbage patch kids did when I was young? God, can you please just whisper the name YOU have chosen for this baby so I don't have to choose?

FYI: cam chose the nickname bubba, cause even the nickname was too much for me.

I can name the fish we buy and the car we drive, but a baby?! When I close my eyes and picture what I believe a son of mine would look like I'm not sure which name would fit. A tough manly name? A short preppy name? A long traditional name? Will he be loud? Quiet? Outgoing? Timid? All those qualities I think affect what name would be best suited for him. And the name MUST mean something important, not anything like "crooked nose" (haha, the meaning for the name Cameron). And then when I stop to picture my daughter, I see bright blue eyes and wavy long blonde hair. Will she be a tomboy? Or a princess? Talkative or observant? Stubborn or relaxed? Is she deserving of a beautifully elegant name or would a cute spunky name be better suited for her? And again, it must mean something or reflect something important. Now insert giant ass monster baby name book:


You'd think after hours with this book and two long lists of preferred names that I'd have some clue. Nope, not really. I'm not sure I'll be ready to commit to any sure name for bubba until he/she comes and I look into his/her eyes and just know, I have a feeling that it'll be so obvious.

Yah, I know that it's going to be okay. And I guess if we just can't decide then using the name Bubba would be a good back up plan right?! ;)
N.

24 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 24 weeks! That's SIX months!

Size of baby: ear of corn (8.5 inches & 1.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: the Christmas season finally caught up to me, I gained 2 pounds this week. That puts me at a gain of 9.4lbs so far.

Maternity clothes: I'm not sure that there's anything to update in this category. I'm getting bored with what I've got but I'm not willing to go out and buy more right now.

Movement: I'm feeling a lot of movement, it feels great! Makes me happy that baby is alive and well. Cams still trying to feel the movements with no luck yet.

Sleep: I've been on vacation so my sleeping patterns have been off. I tried going back to my regular sleeping routine last night and ended up with only five interrupted hours of sleep. I'm getting up quite a bit more to pee at night, it's getting annoying.

Cravings: ummmm, just sweets like usual. I missed champagne at New Years but that's okay. I'd LOVE a good cheeseburger, that'd be good right about now.

Symptoms: the usual: nose bleeds, light headed more often (which usually means more blood & a bigger belly), heartburn, sore hips and crazy constipation. But I'm dealing with it all with minor complaining :)

Best moment of the week: I had a great New Year's Eve at my besties place with her husband, my husband, my brother & another good friend. They drank (I had bubbly juice), we ate (I learnt I can't eat lots anymore) and we played clue (my character was the killer, go figure!). It was good times!


I also wanted to say a huge THANK-YOU! To all of my incredible, wonderful, amazing friends who are messaging me, texting me, telling me that I look beautiful and I'm glowing. You make me smile every. single. time! So big a *hugs* to you :)
N.

A look back at 2012 and a look ahead at 2013!

Is 2012 really over? I can't believe that it is already 2013, last night we couldn't believe we were right back at the Tetz house ringing in another new year, AGAIN! Yikes!


The year 2012 went by really fast, so lets take a look at what happened and our plans for 2013.

Career Decisions:

2012
* I finished working my first year in a preschool (June). I also made the decision to move to a newly opened daycare (September). I tried to complete my ECE certificate but just couldn't handle my pregnancy, full time work in a new centre with a new role and school so I dropped my course and changed my shift at work.
* Cam made the decision and commitment to pursue a career in horticulture instead of youth pastoring. This was not an obvious decision for him to make since it involved more schooling. He started university in September and has been incredibly successful, more so than he was in bible college.

2013
* I will go on maternity leave somewhere between march 1st and march 15th. This is my choice, my work is not pushing me in any direction. I recognize now how much harder it's getting to be productive and move around, it's only going to get worse. And the time I have before Bubba comes, I'll never have again!!! So I'm going to take advantage of it. We have no set plans as to what I'll do in 2014 when my leave is over.
* Cams work is supposed to be "seasonal" but it sure hasn't felt that way for him lately. He'll be back to it January 3rd and back in university for one class this winter semester. We're not sure what his fall 2013 semester will look like, but this spring/summer work wise is looking to be nice and busy!

Family:

2012
* in the early days of August I went with my brother to a work out session and just about died. I committed to loosing some weight before trying to get pregnant. Yah, little did I know little Bubba had other plans. I took a pregnancy test and SURPRISE! Pregnant. I was freaked and thrilled, putting the work out/loosing weight commitment on hold ten months.

2013
* Bubba is due to arrive late April, so far everything is healthy, good and on track! A "perfect" pregnancy. I've only gained 7.2lbs so far, I see this as a huge accomplishment. I've asked my friend Kortney to be my dula, we're talking labour and delivery more these days and I'm reading a lot more on parenting. We've also been accumulating baby supplies, our newest addition being a teal bumbo I bought off a friend. The only brand new baby thing we've bought is a diaper bag, everything else is used and I believe that we're smart for buying this way. We've saved an estimated $250 on our stroller alone!

Church:

2012
* we started attending a life group at our church and we love it! It's such a great way to get connected into community. We only missed one study cause of Cams finals at school.

2013
* we have no plans to stop attending even after Bubba comes. We've been told that baby is more than welcome, so there will be many arms for babe to sleep in on Monday evenings! I also hope to attend women's ministry events once I have more time on maternity (ha! More time).

Now I know that this post is getting long but... Oh well.

I do have some personal goals for 2013, but most have to do with my pregnancy, labour, delivery and parenting. These all deserve their own posts but I'll touch briefly on them here.
* I want to eat VERY well these next four months. I haven't been awful but I can do better
* I should be more active, my hips hurt a lot these days so I believe if I exercise more then that will help it
* I want to have the most natural labour I can. I recognize that there is a time and place for medical intervention but if I can help it, I want all natural. Kortney and I are talking, don't you worry
* after Bubba arrives, I want to kick major baby weight butt!!! After my recovery I want to do what's best for my body and my future pregnancies. So loose the baby weight and get to my goal weight. I'm giving myself a year to do it.
* breast feed exclusively for a minimum of 6 months (I want to BF for a full year) and practice baby led weaning.
* I especially want to parent intuitively and hands on, listen to myself and my own beliefs before others. Do what I believe is best for my baby and hold onto the truth that I can do it! And I know my baby best.

That's all I guess, if you made it this far then thanks for reading. And Happy New Year! I wish your 2013 to be all you hope it will be.

Blessings,
N.

What if?...

What if Bubba really is a boy? And the first child I have isn't a girl. What if I never have a girl? Even after the three children we're planning to have (God willing of course). What if I never get to experience the close mother-daughter relationship I have with my mom but with a daughter of my own? What if my future is filled with toy cars, dirt, robots, wrestling and endless sport activities?

I'm just going to be real here with you for a second. I want a daughter, plain and simple. That doesn't mean that I want ALL my children to be girls but it does mean I pray someday for a girl. But you know what else? I want a son too. I yearn for the day my little boy looks up at me with the big blue eyes he got from his daddy. My heart aches for moments of cuddling my little guy to sleep and dressing him up in cute ties and suspenders.

So what am I getting at here? Well, I hope my future has nothing but healthy children in store. But if I am able to have any say in the genders I am blessed with, I would ask for at least one of both. I'm just being honest.

Why you may ask? Because I am so desperately scared of missing out on something. If Bubba is a boy then I'm terrified of having only boys in my future. What if I never have a daughter? If Bubba is a girl, then by golly will I only have girls? I don't know if I can handle three or four mini Nicole's.

Will my life be any less fulfilled if I only have girls or only boys? Absolutely not! I just continue to remind myself of this truth and ignore the fear and the lies my mind gets overwhelmed with. I'm having a child, a beautiful, precious, little one that I'll love more than life. It does not make a difference if that child is a girl or boy. It does not change the way I feel about my baby.

I'm just being honest here, was/is anyone else feeling the same way?

Blessings,
N.

23 weeks pregnant! Happy Boxing Day!

Happy Boxing Day!!!!!


How far along: 23 weeks! picture taken at 22 weeks & 5 days (Christmas Eve), I didn't want to bother with taking another one.

Size of baby: Papaya (8 inches & 1.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I really wasn't going to weigh in this morning. I thought there was no way it was going to be good. But then I thought I can't change my routine just because I'm scared of what the scale might say. So after all the Christmas festivities these past few days and all the over eating. I've only gained 0.8 lbs in two weeks (last week I didn't gain a thing!). Wow! How many more calories am I burning each day because of this baby?? It must be tons!!

Maternity clothes: I wore my Christmas sweater (pictured above) on Christmas and Christmas Eve and I loved it! So cozy. My mom drew my name for our Kroeker gift exchange and she got me a maternity shirt and a pair of maternity underwear. Cam got me men's sweat pants for Christmas too and they are wonderful! It's so nice to have sweats that fit right around my tummy. I also found a few shirts the other day in my closet that my sister Jessica sent me that I forgot I had. I've been getting so many compliments on those too! I love how these clothes are helping to make me feel so good about myself.

Movement: I was reading that soon the kicks will be felt from the outside. I can't wait to grab Cams hand and have him feel his baby! It'll be such a special moment. I'm still feeling a lot of movement, especially after I eat. I think Bubba's been enjoying the Christmas food and goodies as much as I have.

Sleep: once again, no complaints. My sleep is amazing and I'm not having any troubles at all. I'm expecting that to change but I'm enjoying it right now. No need for a tummy pillow either.

Cravings: nothing really, I got my McDonald's fix last week. That was mostly it, I could go for a Starbucks Christmas coffee and treat about now but that's all.

Symptoms: I'm getting annoyed at the sudden nose bleeds, three in one week. But if I keep up my Metamucil and Zantac routines then I feel fantastic! No stretch marks so far but I have been putting on a lot of lotion these days. I'am getting sore hips more frequently when I walk too long, like around the mall for hours helping my husband buy Christmas presents!

Best moment of the week: it's got to be Christmas and all the things involved with the holiday. Today we're doing a big breakfast with my family and then over to mom & dad Stehr's place. I'm excited to see them! Then I get to relax and I'll be back to work for January 3rd. Next prenatal is January 2nd and I'm hoping to get my gestational diabetes test done that day too.

Happy Boxing Day to all :)
N.

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas! We hope that your day of celebration is merry and bright, filled with love and hope. We are beyond thankful for all that we have and what is on it's way!

Today we took a nice long walk in Campbell Valley park to feed the birds. It was cold and wet but so much fun!






Then we came home to relax and went out to our Christmas Eve service at our home church. It was a fantastic service, brought me to tears a few times. Now we are at home celebrating, we finished dinner and are waiting for my brothers to get back from their church service. We'll open one gift, eat more and drink (juice for me!). Then it's the annual watching of the movie Christmas vacation. SO funny!!!

But what's a blog post without a belly shot? So here you go, 22 weeks & 5 days.


Bubba & I wish you MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! I'm inflated from Christmas turkey :)

N.

looking at Mary differently this Christmas

I feel like I'm looking at Christmas much differently this year. Songs on the radio to do with Mary bring me to tears as Bubba kicks inside me. Today on our weekly trip to superstore for groceries I caught myself realizing that these songs are different to me now because I AM a MOTHER! This little one inside me is growing strong, kicking away, getting ready to be born and be in my arms. I can actually relate to Mary this Christmas, I actually understand what it feels like to have a child grow in my body. Because it's happening TO ME right now!

But Mary birthed a child who would one day die a death that was prophesied on a cross that would save humanity. Obviously that won't be Bubba's fate. But she was probably nervous too about labour, birth, raising a child, breast feeding. She probably wondered about so many things. The difference is her baby was destined to die, I don't know how she could have had that faith. To me, Mary has become more than just the mother of Jesus but also an extraordinary woman of God. I have a husband, I'm 27 years old with a home, job and money in the bank. I'm going to deliver Bubba in a hospital with doctors, nurses and drugs! She was unmarried, poor, and SO young. Many believe she was around 13 years of age, delivering her child in a filthy stable with animals surrounding her, NOT doctors. She could have been killed! Yet she faithfully had her son, believing that God would protect them and provide.

So thank-you mother of Jesus for being so strong and giving birth to the reason we celebrate Christmas. I'll be here shedding my tears for you to all the songs until they stop and the new year begins. And you know, I'm okay with that!! 😊


Baby grew again!

Merry Christmas to all!
N.

four years of love!

Today marks four incredible years of being mr. & mrs. and we couldn't be happier!! Cam and I definitely had a rough start in our dating years, I walked into the student lounge of CBC assuming I'd find friendship and Christian fellowship. Which I did! But I also found the love of my life sipping away on a matte cup and drawing quietly in the corner. It took less than a month before we were dating and my young twenty year old self was flying high on love and dreams.

Here we are, four years of marriage and I'm 22 weeks pregnant. We've worked HARD to make our marriage work and to love one another unconditionally and selflessly. I can't wait for another year with my husband, to have this baby and watch him transform into a daddy. I can't wait to see our marriage grow and change after our child is born!

Cameron Lyle I love you with all of my heart and soul. I thank God everyday for you and appreciate who you are in my life. Till death do us part! *MUAH!*


N.

22 weeks pregnant!!

How far along: 22 weeks!!

Size of baby: Spaghetti squash (8 inches & 1 pound)

Weight gain/loss: I'm exactly the same as last week. This means a weight gain of 6.4 pounds total so far! I'm still quite proud of myself!

Maternity clothes: Nothing new to share here. I better stay away from stores right now, it's too fun to get new stuff!

Movement: It's incredible to me the amount of movement I feel on a regular basis. I got Cam to put his hand on my tummy last night just hoping he'd feel Bubba even just a little bit. He didn't, it makes me eager for the day when he can. Maybe for Christmas?

Sleep: amazing! Love sleep! No complaints still, just up a lot to pee.

Cravings: I still want chocolate all the time! Now I want more carbs, still in the carrots and ranch dip phase. I've been asking for McDonald's lately but I doubt I'll get it anytime soon.

Symptoms: thank goodness for Zantac & Metamucil! They save me everyday from a horrible grumpy state of misery. I discovered last night after I blew my nose that a bleeding nose isn't a pregnancy myth. Leg cramps in the middle of the night SUCK! And I was seriously light headed yesterday. But I always say, it could be worse!! Who knows how I'll be with #2 (yes I'm already thinking that far ahead! I'm just like that).

Best moment of the week: hands down my ultrasound was the very best moment of the week! I didn't cry but I had the biggest smirk on my face the entire time. I was just in awe and amazement, SO happy the entire time. We don't know the gender but Leigh-Ann does, makes me wonder what it was she may or may not have seen.

Until next week...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! have a wonderful time with family & friends. We're very excited for this Christmas, the last one as just us two.

Blessings,
N.

meet my precious baby Bubba!

Today was just one of those extraordinary days that you never forget. I got to meet my baby via ultrasound and (s)he is gorgeous, but of course I'm biased. To see Bubba on that screen moving around was so surreal. There were a few times when I caught myself thinking "that's YOUR baby! It's in YOUR body!" Wow!

We are fortunate enough to have a friend who does ultrasounds so she made the experience extra special. Thank you SO MUCH Leigh-Ann! If you're reading this, I can not even express how incredibly grateful we are. You'll be seeing us as long as you're available with all our little Bubbas.

I bet you're wondering about the details? Okay here they are:
* Bubba is measuring 22 weeks in a few measurements (I'm dated at 21 weeks and 1 day today) if this means an earlier delivery then we could have a baby on Cam's 32nd birthday or my brother Jason's 26th birthday
* Bubba's heartbeat was at 139, but Leigh-Ann reassured me that this does NOT indicate the gender
* Bubba's legs measure in the 90th percentile, we're going to have a long baby!!
* All is healthy and developing normally. We are very happy and thankful for this for sure!
* we do not know the gender, only Leigh-Ann knows and I doubt she'll tell you if you ask her!



There (s)he is! I'm so in love with my Bubba, boy or girl, it doesn't matter to me. I can't wait to meet my precious child.

N.

21 weeks pregnant!!!

How far along: 21 weeks! WOW this pregnancy is going by fast.

Size of baby: Banana (7 inches & 11 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I just about freaked on the scale this morning, up 3 pounds. So that's a total of 6.4 pounds gained so far. But I'm thinking I know what the culprit is (other than baby). My doctor said I don't have to gain anything but if I do then to aim for 10-15 pounds. This will put me back to my pre-pregnancy weight basically right after Bubba is born. Then I'll get my ass handed to me by Anna the rock star personal trainer friend I have lined up for the summer!!

Maternity clothes: I found the softest red sweater from Old Navy for Christmas! SO happy!

Movement: loving it right now, the kicks are all over. It's now more of a reality that this is happening since I feel Bubba frequently now. I'm feeling SO much more connected to the baby, I love that it's so obvious to the world (and to myself) that I'm carrying my first born child.

Sleep: I have no complaints, just up a lot to pee.

Cravings: the absolute overwhelming desire for chocolate is well, overwhelming! One of my weight gain culprits I'm sure. I'm also on a huge carrots and ranch dip kick... Mmmmm.... Veggies and dip!

Symptoms: I am not exaggerating when I say PRAISE THE LORD for Zantac! It's saved me from heartburn hell. I am SO grateful that my doctor gave me a prescription for it. HURRAY!

And then there's the horrible bathroom trouble I've been experiencing. Sorry folks but I'm going to talk about poop for a second and my inability in this department. I had what my doctor diagnosed as "terminal constipation" before my Endometriosis surgery in 2008. I suffered every 6-8 weeks with what I called an attack back then. After surgery I've only dealt with a few attacks but now since my second trimester started I've been anticipating one and well... TA DAAAAA!!!!! Sunday night I had that ever so familiar pain. So I got the "poop stuff" my mom so eloquently calls it (restoralax) and I'm waiting for relief. I'm still on my prune juice and Metamucil regime. I'm almost doing cardio every day to help... If ANY body has a tip for me to try then by all means tell me!!! Don't be shy!!!

Best moment of the week: it's got to be all the extra movement I've been experiencing and the closeness I feel to Bubba because of it.

Happy Wednesday once again!! No dinner with my folks tonight, they're busy (sad face). But tomorrow we're going for our 21 week ultrasound... I can't even express how crazy excited I am for this!!!!

N.



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20 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 20 weeks! Half way until I get to meet my baby.

Size of baby: Mango (6.5 inches & 10 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I lost a pound this week which puts me at a gain of 3.4lbs so far this pregnancy!!

Maternity clothes: I was getting SO frustrated this week, I was at Old Navy in Langley but no maternity clothes. Then ended up at both H&M and Old Navy in Metrotown Saturday and AGAIN no maternity sections. So tomorrow after my prenatal appointment I'll finally go to Guildford and try to find something for Christmas.

Movement: I thought that I felt a true kick last night a couple times in a row but I'm not sure. I definitely expected that Bubba's movements would be stronger now but I keep forgetting that he/she is sleeping most of the day.

Sleep: I have a sore throat and stuffed nose right now so sleep isn't that great. But I honestly can't complain it could be MUCH worse.

Cravings: chocolate everything! I just want chocolate. I'm also craving veggies with ranch dip, I had some at Cams work party Sunday and I couldn't stop. SO good! And I had to have an egg salad sandwich yesterday which was weird cause I haven't had egg in a while.

Symptoms: I found the perfect combination of Metamucil (2 tbsp) followed by a huge glass of water, three times a day. Then a small glass of prune juice once a day. It's wonderful to have that working for me finally. Other than that I continue to breathe fire (heartburn) on a regular basis.

Best moment of the week: two moms here at work found out about my pregnancy by asking my co-worker about me cause they were too shy to ask me! One of our regular subs brought her daughter over last week and we met. Afterwards her daughter apparently told her mom that I look like a teenager and I'm WAY too young to have a baby! Hahaha... am I really that young looking? I also had some fantastic conversation with Cams boss on Sunday night at the staff Christmas party. Everyone kept asking me how I'm feeling, I was the only completely sober one, that was fun!!

Well... Happy Wednesday! Take care for now :) it's starting to look very Christmasy at our house, it makes me super happy!

N.

19 weeks pregnant!!

How far along: 19 weeks! (WOW! I'm basically half way already)

Size of baby: Mango (6 inches & 0.5 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I realised that I never updated last week, but I've gained 4.4lbs the last two weeks in total. I can't believe I'm sharing that with the public! I'm honestly a little nervous by that number only because I know I'm only supposed to gain like 15lbs altogether but I'm wondering if there are different factors that have contributed to my weight gain (other than the obvious baby), so I'm going to make some changes that try that instead (like eating less fruit & carbs which are basically just sugar and instead eat more veggies & protein, which I'm seriously lacking in).

Maternity clothes: No Christmas outfit yet :'( But I'm hoping to get to the stores soon.

Movement:Yes! Lots of movement, definitely getting more pronounced like I know that it's Bubba kicking rather than my stomach growling. I'm waiting for those intense kicks so that Cam can feel baby too. But I always announce to him when Bubba's awake and moving, he likes to know his baby is active.

Sleep: It's starting to get bad but then again it can always get worse than it is now. I'm
waking up a lot and it takes more effort to move from side to side (I just naturally sleep on my side) but that's okay. I'm sure that I'll be missing even this kind of sleep come spring.

Cravings: I miss wine, it's just one of those things you miss when you're not allowed it anymore. And I definitely miss my spicy tuna roll, but I realised I can put spicy sauce on pregnancy approved sushi rolls so that's making me a bit happier.

Symptoms: Cam says that I'm having a "textbook pregnancy" whatever that means cause I'm sure he hasn't read any literature on pregnancy yet. Which suprises me since he's such a book worm. But currently it's just the struggle to be drinking water, I'll get really thristy and normally would chug a litre of water no problem but now I immediately get sickly after too much water at once. I am also currently on a Metamucil routine (which we all know what that's for) and I'm starting gluten-free as well because I believe it's causing me a lot of discomfort.

Best moment of the week: On Monday at bible study we were singing some songs and as soon as we started singing Bubba started to move around A LOT! It made me so happy because Cam was sitting right next to me and I think that's the first time it heard Cam sing. I didn't want to sing at all, I just wanted to sit back and enjoy my baby enjoying the sound of it's fathers voice.

That's it for now... almost time for me to get back to work. My momma is making me dinner again tonight (it's our Wednesday tradition) and we're helping decorate their Christmas tree! I'm SO excited I can hardly contain myself.
N.

Baby weight

Before I got pregnant I had the realization that my health was not where I wanted it to be. And I was quickly walking down the road of morbid obesity. Before I peed on that preggo stick I committed myself to waiting on the baby thing and whip my ass into shape. My baby deserved an incredible environment to grow. Yet, the plan sorta changed when the pregnancy test screamed positive. Now what was I
supposed to do?

I honestly had a flow of different emotions, disappointment that my Bubba would grow in this obese body and fear that the weight I would gain would be impossible to loose after the delivery. Visions of my diabetic, obese and sick Oma flooded my mind. Don't get me wrong, I was incredibly happy to be pregnant and happy to know that I am indeed fertile but was it the right timing?

I truly believe that God has His hand in every part of my life and this wasn't going to be any different. I prayed every day on my way to work last year for a baby, I'm not even exaggerating EVERY day I prayed. So God answered, obviously He didn't see my weight as an issue. I keep reminding myself of this fact. So far the scale has only moved up 2 pounds. I'm 18 weeks, so 2 pounds I think is a huge accomplishment!! Especially since Bubba could now be weighing in at approximately half a pound.

I am finding it interesting to look in the mirror and see my waist rapidly disappear. And a bigger and bigger baby belly appear. I swear I am going to be a house!! A huge, pregnant, monster of a house. And then I think, oh gosh! The stretch marks, the loose skin after I give birth, the saggy boobs, will my body EVER be healthy? Will I EVER get back into those size eight jeans I once wore when I first met Cam? I'm just trying to be honest here.

I'm also struggling with how I'm eating now. I've struggled with whether I should commit to being gluten free and dairy free for a very long time. I keep going back to how great I feel when I stick to it, yet I never seem to be able stay on it long-term. I'm concerned with how it's affecting my pregnancy and Bubba. I'm concerned that the food I'm eating right now is affecting Bubba's development and that if Bubba will be negatively affected if I do suddenly go gluten free now (today).

A lot goes through my mind these days.

Happy Saturday
N.

18 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 18 weeks!

Size of baby: sweet potato (5.5 inches & 5 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I'm weighing in on Thursday mornings now, so I'll update this tomorrow.

Maternity clothes: going to Black Friday this week, I want to get a Christmas outfit.

Movement: just discovered yesterday that after I'm done exercising Bubba moves around A LOT! Another motivation for me to get moving.

Sleep: I'm having a harder time turning around at night now. I'm still waking up a lot for the bathroom, o well!

Cravings: so I totally caved in and had Burger King last Thursday. But as for cravings recently, not really.

Symptoms: well, just the usual. I know that if I eat food that's not so great then I get heartburn. If I don't drink enough water then I get a headache. So really, I don't have much to complain about.

Best moment of the week: feeling all the movements last night. But Sunday (not the best moment but...) I woke up with a headache and immediately drank water thinking it would help. Instead I threw up so violently that I burst blood vessels in my face and down my neck. Lucky me! Haha, I'm going to look SO FABULOUS after I deliver Bubba I'm sure, with my face all spotted. Oh well, that's okay I'll have a beautiful baby to cuddle.

Happy Wednesday!

N.

17 weeks!

It's Wednesday again! Therefore, another baby Bubba update. Enjoy!!


How far along: 17 weeks

Size of baby: turnip (5 inches & 5 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I'm weighing in on Thursday mornings now, so I'll update this tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, I had a BAD long weekend with going over calories.

I weighed in, down another 0.2 pounds which means I've basically gained nothing so far this pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: I haven't bought anything new... Just enjoying mixing things up.

Movement: I definitely felt something last night while lying down and watching tv. It was a very soft fluttering type sensation. I felt it again in the middle of the night and a little now that I'm sitting and relaxing for my lunch break.

Sleep: I'm waking up a lot more often at night and its taking me a bit longer to fall asleep but that's all.

Cravings: this week has been bad again for cravings but I'm just not giving in anymore. I want a whopper with cheese again from Burger King but I haven't indulged.... yet.

Symptoms: a little bit of heartburn again and my hips feel very loose these days. I'm trying to walk a lot more, that's when my hips get sore. And lots of burps... haha, I'm so gassy it's quite entertaining to Cam.

Best moment of the week: feeling what I'm sure was the baby last night. Although I was experiencing some gas, if it was just gas then I'll be SO disappointed :'(

Happy Wednesday! I'm a lucky girl, my momma is making me dinner tonight!

N.

16 weeks pregnant!!

It's Wednesday again! Therefore, another baby Bubba update. Enjoy!!

I'm going to do a picture every other week, so look for my 17 week photo next week :) okay, so I lied, here's my 16 weeks photo.


How far along: 16 weeks

Size of baby: Avocado (4-5 inches & 3-5 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: lost 2.6lbs this week which means that since finding out I'm pregnant I've gained 0.4lbs total.

Maternity clothes: I feel like my maternity wardrobe is better than what I had before I got pregnant! I'm LOVING getting dressed in the morning.

Movement: not yet :'( but I know that there's a chance it can happen soon and that makes me SO excited!!

Sleep: the time change over the weekend threw me off a bit. But otherwise, sleep is good! Dreams are getting weird though.

Cravings: ummmm, they've mostly gone. Other than wanting a spicy tuna roll and having chocolate Cheerios almost everyday. I'm doing great with my calorie counting, I think that's helping.

Symptoms: honestly, nothing to complain about. I finally understand why women love this trimester so much. My energy is back, heartburn basically gone, cramps are gone, things are good!

Best moment of the week: when I stepped on the scale yesterday and realized that I'm doing GREAT! It was the best feeling to know that this belly is all baby and my hard work is paying off :)

Happy Wednesday! I'm looking forward to a relaxing night tonight while my hubby is stuck doing homework (poor Camy).
N.