there are many times when I take a step back and evaluate my life. where i am at, and what i am doing. who i am and the things i want to change to better help myself, the things i want to do to create more confidence, more love and display Christ's love a bit more within me.
i do not know why things happen in life. i do not know why i have gone through so much in the past year of 2006. i honestly can not even come to understand that the year is almost gone. already, 12 months of hardship, pain and tears. there has been a lot of crying in these past 12 months, a lot of evaluating, a lot of praying, a lot of depending on God. these things are good, depending on a heavenly father is always a good, yet terribly hard thing to do. but there have also been many blessings this past year. many smiles, many tears of joy! and i imagine that both these things... the good and the bad will present themselves over again in 2007.
i have no idea... no idea at all what this next year will bring.
at least in my last days of 2005, God gave me some idea of what i may find in 2006. but this time... nothing. not even a little hint.
its all up in the air, and it will all fall where God decides to put it.
this i am confident is an alright thing to do. this I am confident, is a wonderful thing to believe in, that God has my life, and espeically 2007 all sorted out already, i just need to hand it over, relax, and enjoy the ride... enjoy my life.
I have been praying over and over again for confirmation in how to take care of myself, how to love myself, how to make sure that the bondage of sickness doesnt take hold of me again.
I can not stand the thought of going through 2007 sick.... Ive done it for too many years already. NO MORE!
no more sickness, I no longer allow its control.
i finally am taking a stand against it.
i finally want to take hold of what i am worth in the eyes of God and stand up for it. health wise, and in other ways as well...
I deserve health, and God deserves for me to take care of myself,
SO! I am asking how...and God is being incredibly faithful. I am soooo excited for what 2007 will bring in regards to me finally stepping up to my responsibility to myself.
yippppeeee......
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
Blessings :)
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Cam and I had a blast on monday, buildling our Gingerbread train! it was halarious because we couldnt find the train... we went to Safeway, Save-on-foods and then finally IGA, and there sure enough was the train at IGA... it took us an hour!!! But it was so much fun!
Here is Cam, deciding where to put everything... he actualy made a huge candy cane gun thingy that came out of the back part of the train
Taaa Daaaaa!!!!! Here is the finished product... dont cha love my pose???!!!!! I love it! :)
Here is Cam, deciding where to put everything... he actualy made a huge candy cane gun thingy that came out of the back part of the train
Taaa Daaaaa!!!!! Here is the finished product... dont cha love my pose???!!!!! I love it! :)
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
ANOTHER WEDDING INVITATION!!!
o my goodness... they keep coming and coming and coming.... I need to buy another dress and another set of sexy heels to keep up with all of these wonderful celebrations. I am excited for this one (Im excited for them all!) and I didnt even expect an invitation to Tamaras wedding but Yippeee!! I love going to weddings and celebrating a couples love and committment, so sign me up! Im going! :)
Today I feel GREAT, Fantastic, and like a huge burden has been lifted away! Things still need to be talked through, but I have a much better understanding of everything... which I can only thank God for!
Praise God... for his amazing blessings
Lauren is home!
"hello lauren! cant wait to see you!"
I havent talked to her yet... but Im sure shes super busy with family things and wedding planning for her best friends! so I completely understand. I just hope I dont miss her call these next couple of days.
can you believe it?
ONE WEEK! and its Christmas... im still not prepared :S
O daddy, what shall I get you?????
any ideas anyone????
Be Blessed! :)
o my goodness... they keep coming and coming and coming.... I need to buy another dress and another set of sexy heels to keep up with all of these wonderful celebrations. I am excited for this one (Im excited for them all!) and I didnt even expect an invitation to Tamaras wedding but Yippeee!! I love going to weddings and celebrating a couples love and committment, so sign me up! Im going! :)
Today I feel GREAT, Fantastic, and like a huge burden has been lifted away! Things still need to be talked through, but I have a much better understanding of everything... which I can only thank God for!
Praise God... for his amazing blessings
Lauren is home!
"hello lauren! cant wait to see you!"
I havent talked to her yet... but Im sure shes super busy with family things and wedding planning for her best friends! so I completely understand. I just hope I dont miss her call these next couple of days.
can you believe it?
ONE WEEK! and its Christmas... im still not prepared :S
O daddy, what shall I get you?????
any ideas anyone????
Be Blessed! :)
Friday, December 15, 2006
I am so excited for finals to be over and to be home relaxing! yipppeee... relaxing! :)
tomorrow cam and his parents are coming over for dinner! we're gonna have lasgana!
and then sunday work :(
Monday Cam and I are going to make and decorate a gingerbread house! im extatic!
I just came back from the annual Christmas movie outting with my parents and brothers, every holiday we go and pick out a holiday movie to see... I cant even remember what movie it was we saw last year but this year it was The Nativity!
and it was AWESOME! I recommend that movie to everyone... and if you cry really easily than I recommend bringing tissues with you when you go, it was an emotional one. The kind of movie that brings to you realise how Holy God is and how human you are. Everything was so accurate as well, and the girl who plays Mary is beautiful!
I think right now Im going to go and sit with God... it seems like the perfect ending to my day... especially after that movie.
Blessings!
tomorrow cam and his parents are coming over for dinner! we're gonna have lasgana!
and then sunday work :(
Monday Cam and I are going to make and decorate a gingerbread house! im extatic!
I just came back from the annual Christmas movie outting with my parents and brothers, every holiday we go and pick out a holiday movie to see... I cant even remember what movie it was we saw last year but this year it was The Nativity! and it was AWESOME! I recommend that movie to everyone... and if you cry really easily than I recommend bringing tissues with you when you go, it was an emotional one. The kind of movie that brings to you realise how Holy God is and how human you are. Everything was so accurate as well, and the girl who plays Mary is beautiful!
I think right now Im going to go and sit with God... it seems like the perfect ending to my day... especially after that movie.
Blessings!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Watch your thoughts; they become words.|Watch your words; they
become actions.|Watch your actions; they become habits.|Watch
your habits; they become character.|Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
watching my thoughts has been a huge struggle for me lately... feelings sometimes can get in the way of reality or at least morph it in a way that is distorted, yet feels so real. all that i am most aware of now is that i need to be true to who God has called me to be and true to my relationship with him. im not so sure of much else... waiting for someone you love is a hard buisness... at least thats the way i feel right now... hahah... "feel" i really hate how your "feelings" are misconceptions, that they can take you in completely different directions. Happy, Sad, Depressed, Mad, Angry... etc...
i know... you're probably confused... haha... thats alright. i wont explain, but im sure you have felt the way i feel right now at one point of your life.
thank goodness that God is so good
and thank goodness that hes speaking so loudly right now... "wait it out, Nicole, trust in me, Nicole, i have plans you can't even imagine, Nicole, stay, Nicole"
i want to go to Marysville, however in a way thats my running place, my place of refuge, the place i hear God the loudest, the place i find answers.........
i think i will make that a goal in the New Year, not the running, at least not a long run.... but a time of meeting God in a place that i feel safe and secure to talk to people.... there is a part of me thats screaming to talk to someone...
at least I get to see Kevin Davidson next week! thats a piece of Marysville.
Blessings! :)
become actions.|Watch your actions; they become habits.|Watch
your habits; they become character.|Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.
-- Frank Outlaw
watching my thoughts has been a huge struggle for me lately... feelings sometimes can get in the way of reality or at least morph it in a way that is distorted, yet feels so real. all that i am most aware of now is that i need to be true to who God has called me to be and true to my relationship with him. im not so sure of much else... waiting for someone you love is a hard buisness... at least thats the way i feel right now... hahah... "feel" i really hate how your "feelings" are misconceptions, that they can take you in completely different directions. Happy, Sad, Depressed, Mad, Angry... etc...
i know... you're probably confused... haha... thats alright. i wont explain, but im sure you have felt the way i feel right now at one point of your life.
thank goodness that God is so good
and thank goodness that hes speaking so loudly right now... "wait it out, Nicole, trust in me, Nicole, i have plans you can't even imagine, Nicole, stay, Nicole"
i want to go to Marysville, however in a way thats my running place, my place of refuge, the place i hear God the loudest, the place i find answers.........
i think i will make that a goal in the New Year, not the running, at least not a long run.... but a time of meeting God in a place that i feel safe and secure to talk to people.... there is a part of me thats screaming to talk to someone...
at least I get to see Kevin Davidson next week! thats a piece of Marysville.
Blessings! :)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Today at the lunch table here at CBC was such a confirmation of what God has established in my life, there was such encouragment, it makes me thrilled that the vision God has given me for what he wants me to do, or take the steps to do is shared by others as well. I was expressing my desire of doing purity and beauty seminars around BC for young girls as what I want to do after graduation, and the basis as to why I switched my major.
Laurie was so encouraging and such a blessing, she was confirming that one of her wants in life is to do the same thing...she was sooooo excited and kept saying how excited she is for me to do that and have the same vision.
I dont know what is going to happen... I am very much trusting that God has it all taken care of. But the excitement and the reality of the task is overwhelming... I know that I am not expected to do it all on my own. God is doing to amazing things!
PRAISE GOD!
Blessings! :)
Laurie was so encouraging and such a blessing, she was confirming that one of her wants in life is to do the same thing...she was sooooo excited and kept saying how excited she is for me to do that and have the same vision.
I dont know what is going to happen... I am very much trusting that God has it all taken care of. But the excitement and the reality of the task is overwhelming... I know that I am not expected to do it all on my own. God is doing to amazing things!
PRAISE GOD!
Blessings! :)
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
well... it has been decided!
for the past six months I have been doubtful with whether or not missions and the intercultural studies program at CBC is right for me and what God has planned for my future. The thought of leaving home for eight months, and graduating with a BA which is meant for someone doing long term missions work, didnt seem right, nor something that made any sence.
The vision given to me from God has been with working in a youth group setting with young girls, grades 6-12. I want to run purity seminars and beauty seminars, fighting the North American media with Gods word and truth for the lives of these girls.
So.... what does this mean school wise??
I will be changing my major.
Instead of intercultural studies, I am now going into Care Giving and Counselling.
I want to be a counsellor for these young girls who are struggling with self image, puity, sexual immorality and pre-marrital sex, healing with struggle in eating disorders and an inability to take care of ones self.
This is my news!
it may come as a shock and surprise, believe me, I was surprised as well once I seriously sat down with God and asked him what HE wanted me to do with my life for his kingdom. But the vision is strong... its kinda scary, but I know that I can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength"
I will be graduating with a BA in care giving and counselling which could transfer credits for more schooling to get my masters if I choose.
missions is still a huge part of my life and heart. I want to continue taking part in short term missions trips with CBC and my church, but it will no longer be my main focus. A counselling degree can be used in the youth group setting and missions setting as well. It is the tool that I will use to do the best ministry I can through Christ who guides me...
so... my life looks completely different.
no more internship.... and maybe the need for one more year at CBC. No more looking into my future and wondering where it will take me, no more stressing over the implications of leaving Canada for half a year.
We will see what happens, and what this next year, 2007 has to offer!
But I am THRILLED to proclaim that God has shown me the way my life should take and I will follow in obedience and exicitement for the task which is laid before me.
Blessings! :)
for the past six months I have been doubtful with whether or not missions and the intercultural studies program at CBC is right for me and what God has planned for my future. The thought of leaving home for eight months, and graduating with a BA which is meant for someone doing long term missions work, didnt seem right, nor something that made any sence.
The vision given to me from God has been with working in a youth group setting with young girls, grades 6-12. I want to run purity seminars and beauty seminars, fighting the North American media with Gods word and truth for the lives of these girls.
So.... what does this mean school wise??
I will be changing my major.
Instead of intercultural studies, I am now going into Care Giving and Counselling.
I want to be a counsellor for these young girls who are struggling with self image, puity, sexual immorality and pre-marrital sex, healing with struggle in eating disorders and an inability to take care of ones self.
This is my news!
it may come as a shock and surprise, believe me, I was surprised as well once I seriously sat down with God and asked him what HE wanted me to do with my life for his kingdom. But the vision is strong... its kinda scary, but I know that I can "do all things through Christ who gives me strength"
I will be graduating with a BA in care giving and counselling which could transfer credits for more schooling to get my masters if I choose.
missions is still a huge part of my life and heart. I want to continue taking part in short term missions trips with CBC and my church, but it will no longer be my main focus. A counselling degree can be used in the youth group setting and missions setting as well. It is the tool that I will use to do the best ministry I can through Christ who guides me...
so... my life looks completely different.
no more internship.... and maybe the need for one more year at CBC. No more looking into my future and wondering where it will take me, no more stressing over the implications of leaving Canada for half a year.
We will see what happens, and what this next year, 2007 has to offer!
But I am THRILLED to proclaim that God has shown me the way my life should take and I will follow in obedience and exicitement for the task which is laid before me.
Blessings! :)
Friday, December 08, 2006
So... Here I was last night at 4ish, getting ready for "Charlie Brown Christmas" at the CBC Christmas banquet, doing my hair, makeup, getting all "dolled" up for it... I even wore my "little black dress" and sexy shoes! It was so much fun getting ready with Dara, who then slept over here last night. Cam made his way to my MedoWoods aprtment to pick us up and we were off... and very very early! But got the best table most definatly!
Everyone that attended were all pretty in their dresses and suits, it was a fantabulous night! Then at the closing remarks... Eric gave the invitation for all who attended to come for a party at White House, (aka Cams place). And Im serious, that house is not meant to hold so many people, its small, its old and the floor feels like it will cave in when fourty people jump up and down on it, especially in the living room area!!! But... it was a Blast! I was exhuasted, considering I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before, but I tried my best to dance all funky like! :P Unfortuently when the party was getting good, Earl, the security night guy came to crash it. Someone filed a complaint to the school and threatened to call the cops on us if we werent quiet. Which I find halarious since the house is on campus and we're a bible college, most got a kick outta that one! I stayed behind with Dara, Nantina and Andrew, hanging out with Cam... until 2am... well after curfew! O WELL! All and all, everything was great!
Cam made my night wonderful!!! He was the sweetest gentleman, getting my punch for me, pulling my chair back for me to sit down, escorting me to the banquet!! I was treated like a princess! :) So.. I got some pics to share with you and I will be getting more from Cam, so maybe later I'll post more... Blessings!! :)
Arent we the cuttest couple ever!?!?! He tried so hard to not make such a goofy face in this photo that he ended up making a goofy face! but thats what makes him Cam... :)
Doesnt Dara look fantastic?? seriously boys.... shes Hot! :)
Okay, this girl here... Heidi, is wonderful! Shes so much fun and she made my Mission class a lot more fun! Isnt she just gorgeous???
And here we have Amber, she is right beside my apartment, the door right across the "hall" practically.. and she is SO MUCH FUN! Shes my late night study, coffee run, talk about whatever buddy... and I LOVE YOU AMBER! (its the 3rd time we've said it!) Shes soooo amazing and beautiful!
Amanda!!! Shes sooooo much fun! this girl can make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Shes beautiful, and we like to do our late night, visit dara at her diner runs!!
MY UNIT! we're not all here... but most of us are! :)
Everyone that attended were all pretty in their dresses and suits, it was a fantabulous night! Then at the closing remarks... Eric gave the invitation for all who attended to come for a party at White House, (aka Cams place). And Im serious, that house is not meant to hold so many people, its small, its old and the floor feels like it will cave in when fourty people jump up and down on it, especially in the living room area!!! But... it was a Blast! I was exhuasted, considering I had only gotten about an hour and a half of sleep the night before, but I tried my best to dance all funky like! :P Unfortuently when the party was getting good, Earl, the security night guy came to crash it. Someone filed a complaint to the school and threatened to call the cops on us if we werent quiet. Which I find halarious since the house is on campus and we're a bible college, most got a kick outta that one! I stayed behind with Dara, Nantina and Andrew, hanging out with Cam... until 2am... well after curfew! O WELL! All and all, everything was great!
Cam made my night wonderful!!! He was the sweetest gentleman, getting my punch for me, pulling my chair back for me to sit down, escorting me to the banquet!! I was treated like a princess! :) So.. I got some pics to share with you and I will be getting more from Cam, so maybe later I'll post more... Blessings!! :)
Arent we the cuttest couple ever!?!?! He tried so hard to not make such a goofy face in this photo that he ended up making a goofy face! but thats what makes him Cam... :)
Doesnt Dara look fantastic?? seriously boys.... shes Hot! :)
Okay, this girl here... Heidi, is wonderful! Shes so much fun and she made my Mission class a lot more fun! Isnt she just gorgeous???
And here we have Amber, she is right beside my apartment, the door right across the "hall" practically.. and she is SO MUCH FUN! Shes my late night study, coffee run, talk about whatever buddy... and I LOVE YOU AMBER! (its the 3rd time we've said it!) Shes soooo amazing and beautiful!
Amanda!!! Shes sooooo much fun! this girl can make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Shes beautiful, and we like to do our late night, visit dara at her diner runs!!
MY UNIT! we're not all here... but most of us are! :)
Monday, December 04, 2006
"Be generous with me and I'll live a full life, not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders. I'm a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions. My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous! - insatiable for your nourishing commands."
Psalm 119:17-20
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