God help me.
I've been experiencing serious sinus congestion since September 28th. I just quite literally woke up one morning with a cough and stuffy nose that has gotten worse and refuses to go away. It's gotten to the point where I cough so hard I end up throwing up. And now the pressure in my sinuses has gotten so bad my teeth and ears are regularly affected. I'm constantly blowing my nose. I can't smell or taste anything. There's no pain, no sore throat, no body aches, no fever, no sickly feeling. Just straight up awful congestion and the worst part is that because I'm pregnant I can't take anything. Even giving me antibiotics for a possible sinus infection is putting my baby through unnecessary medical exposure because if it is viral antibiotics won't work. So yippee for me.
It is through this experience that I realize how powerless I feel. It's so easy to fall into a mindset where I believe I can't possibly be a good mother. I can't possibly be doing enough in my home or at work. I can't possibly be handling this right. I should be doing more with Edison. I should be doing more at work. I should be cleaning more, doing laundry more, staying ontop of grocery shopping and meal planning. I should... I should...
I should be taking care of my body more. I should be eating better. I should be walking every day. Okay, maybe every other day at least. Surely I shouldn't be relaxing as much as I am. I should be handling this better.
If I can't do this well then how in the world can I take care of my son and new baby? How in the world can I manage?
God help me.
Sometimes pregnancy can be so damn hard and overwhelming. Sometimes everything just feels so impossible.
N.
