What if?...

What if Bubba really is a boy? And the first child I have isn't a girl. What if I never have a girl? Even after the three children we're planning to have (God willing of course). What if I never get to experience the close mother-daughter relationship I have with my mom but with a daughter of my own? What if my future is filled with toy cars, dirt, robots, wrestling and endless sport activities?

I'm just going to be real here with you for a second. I want a daughter, plain and simple. That doesn't mean that I want ALL my children to be girls but it does mean I pray someday for a girl. But you know what else? I want a son too. I yearn for the day my little boy looks up at me with the big blue eyes he got from his daddy. My heart aches for moments of cuddling my little guy to sleep and dressing him up in cute ties and suspenders.

So what am I getting at here? Well, I hope my future has nothing but healthy children in store. But if I am able to have any say in the genders I am blessed with, I would ask for at least one of both. I'm just being honest.

Why you may ask? Because I am so desperately scared of missing out on something. If Bubba is a boy then I'm terrified of having only boys in my future. What if I never have a daughter? If Bubba is a girl, then by golly will I only have girls? I don't know if I can handle three or four mini Nicole's.

Will my life be any less fulfilled if I only have girls or only boys? Absolutely not! I just continue to remind myself of this truth and ignore the fear and the lies my mind gets overwhelmed with. I'm having a child, a beautiful, precious, little one that I'll love more than life. It does not make a difference if that child is a girl or boy. It does not change the way I feel about my baby.

I'm just being honest here, was/is anyone else feeling the same way?

Blessings,
N.

23 weeks pregnant! Happy Boxing Day!

Happy Boxing Day!!!!!


How far along: 23 weeks! picture taken at 22 weeks & 5 days (Christmas Eve), I didn't want to bother with taking another one.

Size of baby: Papaya (8 inches & 1.2 pounds)

Weight gain/loss: I really wasn't going to weigh in this morning. I thought there was no way it was going to be good. But then I thought I can't change my routine just because I'm scared of what the scale might say. So after all the Christmas festivities these past few days and all the over eating. I've only gained 0.8 lbs in two weeks (last week I didn't gain a thing!). Wow! How many more calories am I burning each day because of this baby?? It must be tons!!

Maternity clothes: I wore my Christmas sweater (pictured above) on Christmas and Christmas Eve and I loved it! So cozy. My mom drew my name for our Kroeker gift exchange and she got me a maternity shirt and a pair of maternity underwear. Cam got me men's sweat pants for Christmas too and they are wonderful! It's so nice to have sweats that fit right around my tummy. I also found a few shirts the other day in my closet that my sister Jessica sent me that I forgot I had. I've been getting so many compliments on those too! I love how these clothes are helping to make me feel so good about myself.

Movement: I was reading that soon the kicks will be felt from the outside. I can't wait to grab Cams hand and have him feel his baby! It'll be such a special moment. I'm still feeling a lot of movement, especially after I eat. I think Bubba's been enjoying the Christmas food and goodies as much as I have.

Sleep: once again, no complaints. My sleep is amazing and I'm not having any troubles at all. I'm expecting that to change but I'm enjoying it right now. No need for a tummy pillow either.

Cravings: nothing really, I got my McDonald's fix last week. That was mostly it, I could go for a Starbucks Christmas coffee and treat about now but that's all.

Symptoms: I'm getting annoyed at the sudden nose bleeds, three in one week. But if I keep up my Metamucil and Zantac routines then I feel fantastic! No stretch marks so far but I have been putting on a lot of lotion these days. I'am getting sore hips more frequently when I walk too long, like around the mall for hours helping my husband buy Christmas presents!

Best moment of the week: it's got to be Christmas and all the things involved with the holiday. Today we're doing a big breakfast with my family and then over to mom & dad Stehr's place. I'm excited to see them! Then I get to relax and I'll be back to work for January 3rd. Next prenatal is January 2nd and I'm hoping to get my gestational diabetes test done that day too.

Happy Boxing Day to all :)
N.

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas! We hope that your day of celebration is merry and bright, filled with love and hope. We are beyond thankful for all that we have and what is on it's way!

Today we took a nice long walk in Campbell Valley park to feed the birds. It was cold and wet but so much fun!






Then we came home to relax and went out to our Christmas Eve service at our home church. It was a fantastic service, brought me to tears a few times. Now we are at home celebrating, we finished dinner and are waiting for my brothers to get back from their church service. We'll open one gift, eat more and drink (juice for me!). Then it's the annual watching of the movie Christmas vacation. SO funny!!!

But what's a blog post without a belly shot? So here you go, 22 weeks & 5 days.


Bubba & I wish you MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! I'm inflated from Christmas turkey :)

N.

looking at Mary differently this Christmas

I feel like I'm looking at Christmas much differently this year. Songs on the radio to do with Mary bring me to tears as Bubba kicks inside me. Today on our weekly trip to superstore for groceries I caught myself realizing that these songs are different to me now because I AM a MOTHER! This little one inside me is growing strong, kicking away, getting ready to be born and be in my arms. I can actually relate to Mary this Christmas, I actually understand what it feels like to have a child grow in my body. Because it's happening TO ME right now!

But Mary birthed a child who would one day die a death that was prophesied on a cross that would save humanity. Obviously that won't be Bubba's fate. But she was probably nervous too about labour, birth, raising a child, breast feeding. She probably wondered about so many things. The difference is her baby was destined to die, I don't know how she could have had that faith. To me, Mary has become more than just the mother of Jesus but also an extraordinary woman of God. I have a husband, I'm 27 years old with a home, job and money in the bank. I'm going to deliver Bubba in a hospital with doctors, nurses and drugs! She was unmarried, poor, and SO young. Many believe she was around 13 years of age, delivering her child in a filthy stable with animals surrounding her, NOT doctors. She could have been killed! Yet she faithfully had her son, believing that God would protect them and provide.

So thank-you mother of Jesus for being so strong and giving birth to the reason we celebrate Christmas. I'll be here shedding my tears for you to all the songs until they stop and the new year begins. And you know, I'm okay with that!! 😊


Baby grew again!

Merry Christmas to all!
N.

four years of love!

Today marks four incredible years of being mr. & mrs. and we couldn't be happier!! Cam and I definitely had a rough start in our dating years, I walked into the student lounge of CBC assuming I'd find friendship and Christian fellowship. Which I did! But I also found the love of my life sipping away on a matte cup and drawing quietly in the corner. It took less than a month before we were dating and my young twenty year old self was flying high on love and dreams.

Here we are, four years of marriage and I'm 22 weeks pregnant. We've worked HARD to make our marriage work and to love one another unconditionally and selflessly. I can't wait for another year with my husband, to have this baby and watch him transform into a daddy. I can't wait to see our marriage grow and change after our child is born!

Cameron Lyle I love you with all of my heart and soul. I thank God everyday for you and appreciate who you are in my life. Till death do us part! *MUAH!*


N.

22 weeks pregnant!!

How far along: 22 weeks!!

Size of baby: Spaghetti squash (8 inches & 1 pound)

Weight gain/loss: I'm exactly the same as last week. This means a weight gain of 6.4 pounds total so far! I'm still quite proud of myself!

Maternity clothes: Nothing new to share here. I better stay away from stores right now, it's too fun to get new stuff!

Movement: It's incredible to me the amount of movement I feel on a regular basis. I got Cam to put his hand on my tummy last night just hoping he'd feel Bubba even just a little bit. He didn't, it makes me eager for the day when he can. Maybe for Christmas?

Sleep: amazing! Love sleep! No complaints still, just up a lot to pee.

Cravings: I still want chocolate all the time! Now I want more carbs, still in the carrots and ranch dip phase. I've been asking for McDonald's lately but I doubt I'll get it anytime soon.

Symptoms: thank goodness for Zantac & Metamucil! They save me everyday from a horrible grumpy state of misery. I discovered last night after I blew my nose that a bleeding nose isn't a pregnancy myth. Leg cramps in the middle of the night SUCK! And I was seriously light headed yesterday. But I always say, it could be worse!! Who knows how I'll be with #2 (yes I'm already thinking that far ahead! I'm just like that).

Best moment of the week: hands down my ultrasound was the very best moment of the week! I didn't cry but I had the biggest smirk on my face the entire time. I was just in awe and amazement, SO happy the entire time. We don't know the gender but Leigh-Ann does, makes me wonder what it was she may or may not have seen.

Until next week...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! have a wonderful time with family & friends. We're very excited for this Christmas, the last one as just us two.

Blessings,
N.

meet my precious baby Bubba!

Today was just one of those extraordinary days that you never forget. I got to meet my baby via ultrasound and (s)he is gorgeous, but of course I'm biased. To see Bubba on that screen moving around was so surreal. There were a few times when I caught myself thinking "that's YOUR baby! It's in YOUR body!" Wow!

We are fortunate enough to have a friend who does ultrasounds so she made the experience extra special. Thank you SO MUCH Leigh-Ann! If you're reading this, I can not even express how incredibly grateful we are. You'll be seeing us as long as you're available with all our little Bubbas.

I bet you're wondering about the details? Okay here they are:
* Bubba is measuring 22 weeks in a few measurements (I'm dated at 21 weeks and 1 day today) if this means an earlier delivery then we could have a baby on Cam's 32nd birthday or my brother Jason's 26th birthday
* Bubba's heartbeat was at 139, but Leigh-Ann reassured me that this does NOT indicate the gender
* Bubba's legs measure in the 90th percentile, we're going to have a long baby!!
* All is healthy and developing normally. We are very happy and thankful for this for sure!
* we do not know the gender, only Leigh-Ann knows and I doubt she'll tell you if you ask her!



There (s)he is! I'm so in love with my Bubba, boy or girl, it doesn't matter to me. I can't wait to meet my precious child.

N.

21 weeks pregnant!!!

How far along: 21 weeks! WOW this pregnancy is going by fast.

Size of baby: Banana (7 inches & 11 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I just about freaked on the scale this morning, up 3 pounds. So that's a total of 6.4 pounds gained so far. But I'm thinking I know what the culprit is (other than baby). My doctor said I don't have to gain anything but if I do then to aim for 10-15 pounds. This will put me back to my pre-pregnancy weight basically right after Bubba is born. Then I'll get my ass handed to me by Anna the rock star personal trainer friend I have lined up for the summer!!

Maternity clothes: I found the softest red sweater from Old Navy for Christmas! SO happy!

Movement: loving it right now, the kicks are all over. It's now more of a reality that this is happening since I feel Bubba frequently now. I'm feeling SO much more connected to the baby, I love that it's so obvious to the world (and to myself) that I'm carrying my first born child.

Sleep: I have no complaints, just up a lot to pee.

Cravings: the absolute overwhelming desire for chocolate is well, overwhelming! One of my weight gain culprits I'm sure. I'm also on a huge carrots and ranch dip kick... Mmmmm.... Veggies and dip!

Symptoms: I am not exaggerating when I say PRAISE THE LORD for Zantac! It's saved me from heartburn hell. I am SO grateful that my doctor gave me a prescription for it. HURRAY!

And then there's the horrible bathroom trouble I've been experiencing. Sorry folks but I'm going to talk about poop for a second and my inability in this department. I had what my doctor diagnosed as "terminal constipation" before my Endometriosis surgery in 2008. I suffered every 6-8 weeks with what I called an attack back then. After surgery I've only dealt with a few attacks but now since my second trimester started I've been anticipating one and well... TA DAAAAA!!!!! Sunday night I had that ever so familiar pain. So I got the "poop stuff" my mom so eloquently calls it (restoralax) and I'm waiting for relief. I'm still on my prune juice and Metamucil regime. I'm almost doing cardio every day to help... If ANY body has a tip for me to try then by all means tell me!!! Don't be shy!!!

Best moment of the week: it's got to be all the extra movement I've been experiencing and the closeness I feel to Bubba because of it.

Happy Wednesday once again!! No dinner with my folks tonight, they're busy (sad face). But tomorrow we're going for our 21 week ultrasound... I can't even express how crazy excited I am for this!!!!

N.



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20 weeks pregnant!

How far along: 20 weeks! Half way until I get to meet my baby.

Size of baby: Mango (6.5 inches & 10 ounces)

Weight gain/loss: I lost a pound this week which puts me at a gain of 3.4lbs so far this pregnancy!!

Maternity clothes: I was getting SO frustrated this week, I was at Old Navy in Langley but no maternity clothes. Then ended up at both H&M and Old Navy in Metrotown Saturday and AGAIN no maternity sections. So tomorrow after my prenatal appointment I'll finally go to Guildford and try to find something for Christmas.

Movement: I thought that I felt a true kick last night a couple times in a row but I'm not sure. I definitely expected that Bubba's movements would be stronger now but I keep forgetting that he/she is sleeping most of the day.

Sleep: I have a sore throat and stuffed nose right now so sleep isn't that great. But I honestly can't complain it could be MUCH worse.

Cravings: chocolate everything! I just want chocolate. I'm also craving veggies with ranch dip, I had some at Cams work party Sunday and I couldn't stop. SO good! And I had to have an egg salad sandwich yesterday which was weird cause I haven't had egg in a while.

Symptoms: I found the perfect combination of Metamucil (2 tbsp) followed by a huge glass of water, three times a day. Then a small glass of prune juice once a day. It's wonderful to have that working for me finally. Other than that I continue to breathe fire (heartburn) on a regular basis.

Best moment of the week: two moms here at work found out about my pregnancy by asking my co-worker about me cause they were too shy to ask me! One of our regular subs brought her daughter over last week and we met. Afterwards her daughter apparently told her mom that I look like a teenager and I'm WAY too young to have a baby! Hahaha... am I really that young looking? I also had some fantastic conversation with Cams boss on Sunday night at the staff Christmas party. Everyone kept asking me how I'm feeling, I was the only completely sober one, that was fun!!

Well... Happy Wednesday! Take care for now :) it's starting to look very Christmasy at our house, it makes me super happy!

N.