so on monday i went to CBC and it was fabulous to be back! i went into my meeting with Erv with all the positive energy possible. he said that ive completed 73 credits which translates to two complete years of school, and in total i need 129 credits to graduate with the degrees i want. we scheduled out the plan for me graduating and figured out that with just 3 extra credit hours i can actually graduate with both a BA in caregiving/counseling AND a diploma in intercultural studies which is the program i actually started taking at CBC way back in January of 2006. im sooooo thrilled that i can actually leave the school with a degree in ICS as well, its very exciting for me because i hope to be involved in short term missions trips so that type of education is important to me. so when all is said and done, April 2011 i will be walking across the stage in BLUE... then completeing my internship that summer. when i leave CBC i will have a diploma & BA in caregiving & counseling and then a diploma in intercultural studies.

i have been hard core thinking and praying about what is the best possible path for me in regards to a masters degree and the point of time to have children. i think my friends, parents and even cam are humoured by my planning. it just gives me peace to know what the plan is.... to know where im headed and what i want to achieve. im not so calm with the "spontaneous" plan. i feel that finishing a masters degree before children is the best path for me. i will be looking into Trinity Westerns counseling degrees for September 2011... and then would be thrilled if once i graduate with my masters i would be pregnant and ready for family!

my classes this january are going to be HARD! hahahaha... its third year for me so the tough psych classes are coming! where I can't just "wing" it anymore, not that i did all the time anyways.
Adult psychology
Abnormal psychology
Intro to conflict management
Effective teaching (SO SCARED for this class)
World religions

then in late April, after those are done I will be in
Gospel of John
Sexual Ethics
both classes are out the end of April, so they are full time, 5 days a week, like 8 hours a day classes... eeeeekkkk!

Life is looking fantastic these days, and Im preparing the house to go full out Christmas this year! Last year there was the wedding, full time work and the move to Langley by my parents so Christmas was pushed aside by the chaos of life. This year I am SO HAPPY to share that Cam has work up until our Winnipeg trip December 6th, which is the BEST blessing! And so we will both be off work for Christmas, so will my brother Jason... and so far both sets of parents are sticking around BC. So we get a real Christmas this year. And our anniversary, which is coming up FAST, Cam suggested going up to Grouse Mountain for the ice skating and a very romantic dinner. Im excited to make that an anniversary tradition.

well... thats all the fun thats going on lately! Im going to start christmas baking next week! I promised Cam that I wouldn't start the Christmas stuff until November 1st. heehee... and we agreed that the tree can't go up until mid November so I don't go overboard. Mom and I are going Christmas decor shopping tomorrow! hahaha... and I get to see Karen Roeck and Kate today! yipppeeee, and then when the hubbies are off work we're all having dinner together. I can't wait. I think Aaron and Cam are going to hit it off really well.... Its nice to actually go to friends places now with Cam, instead of always having to try to make things work around IGA.

Wow, this is long, and I am thristy!
happy reading...

so im sitting here, watching tv, relaxing and enjoying a very nice glass of rosea wine, which is my favorite... with a little licorice treat. im celebrating the fact that tonight, at 9pm i left the store IGA in my uniform, finishing my last ever shift. and it was definitely bittersweet. i got a boquet of flowers and a card which was super sweet of the girls to put together... and amanda helped me take down the ad, as we talked in the aisles before she left. i got lots of hugs today! which i LOVE and yesterday i almost cried when i said goodbye to whitney and angela.

when i thought of leaving IGA, i only thought about leaving the job. then yesterday happened and i realised, im not just leaving a job... im leaving friendships. its necessary for me to leave. and i know from lots of prayer, that taking these next 9 weeks off before full time school hits, is neccessary too! and vitally important for my health. so...... im taking it in strides, and today, as i stood here infront of my husband, i took a deep breath in and said "im back!"

lately, ive felt like my life has been consumed by only work and i haven't had time to do the things that ive needed to do to foster my abilities, and my gifts. i haven't been to church in over a year in a half!!! can you believe it?? and when what brought you idenity, you're no longer involved in.... when your a christian and your maker gives you your life, and you stop talking to Him.... everything in yourself and life comes crashing down, and you feel so very confused, and so very much NOT like yourself. that is what happened to me. i realised that i allowed myself to be trapped in this very very dark, angry, frustrating place. and finally... ive allowed myself to walk out of that prision and kneel at the cross. im going to Fraserview tomorrow with my family and Cam. To not only see my grandparents but to be joyful in hearing the word. I am extactic to finally get involved again in church.

what else am i extatic about!? the conversation that Cam and I just had recently... about our future, about having children and after im done at CBC, when i will go for a masters degree. its something that Im going to have to decide, and with some counsel from professors who have gone through the same decisions, some long and hard prayer, and a lot more long talks with Cam and probably even my mother, to decide on the fate of my career... a decision will be made. but right now, Im seriously torn. what do i do once CBC is done?! kids!? YES! please! and Cam and I have decided too that once we start we won't finish until we're done for good! so what does that mean exactly!? have one, then wait a year, have another, wait a year, have another wait a year and maybe have a fourth! It will be HARD for a while and I might actually go crazy! heehee, but we're going to have me stay at home full time and be there for our children and live off one income. My plan is... if one is in diapers, then might as well have two in diapers! if one is up at 2 in the morning screaming, might as well have two up in the morning screaming! heehee.... I know, Im crazy... and I know... "once she has her first she will feel differently" ummmm.... I honestly don't think so! hahahahaha....

but then its.... do I go for a masters degree before children (masters takes two years) and then after graduation, have my first baby.... but then I won't pracitce/counsel for like four/five years! or.... I could wait until my youngest is in grade one, go to school full time while my kids are in school and then graduate and start counseling in my mid thirties. The later plan is probably going to be the one I go for.... I have no idea that at that point if I will even be up for it. hahaha, I think so though, I have such a passion for school and educating myself as well as having a career. Its hard though, the passion I have for having children is just a little bit more prominent than my passion to have a counseling career. its a hard decision to make with what passion to follow right away... but because of my Endo, my ovaries aren't "24" they are "31" as my gyno had said, so if I want kids, the younger I have them... the better!

well... this is long and full of my hopes and dreams I guess!
take care y'all, Im going to finish my wine and dig into my licorice! yuuuuuuumy!
xoxoxox

Its bittersweet to me that this saturday is my last day at Marketplace IGA, Im honestly sad to leave some of my co-workers, Ive grown close to Anglea, Whitney, Amanda. These past couple of months have finally felt like home there at the store, unfortunately, things like this never last and it is definitely time for me to move on.

Im excited for my time off! I seriously need it. Im very very eager to start baking, cleaning/organizing our place, paint, see my friends I wasn't able to see before. Im so glad to have my weekends back and especially my Sundays! Cam and I have agreed that we will start attending the free evangelical church in Langley and are happy that friends attend there so it will be easier to become involved.

Also I am EXTATIC to start attending CBC again, I know that like each year, the campus is very very different since the last time I attended. But its going to be AMAZING to be back there. Hanging out with my friends that I miss and attending the classes that I am soooo excited to start studying for! (yep! I am seriously excited to study) Its going to be GOOD.

I can't believe also that last week (the 15th) marked one year since my endometriosis surgery. I have not had to take pills other than the occassional advil for cramps this whole year which is actually amazing for me. I have not had any problems what-so-ever regarding my endo, it is so far... gone for good! and PRAISE GOD for that.

Off to bed for me! Im wiped, made home-made pizza for the hubby and brother tonight. I need to sleep now for day four of five left at work.

wahoooo! I booked my ultrasound for November 3rd! Im thrilled that I can get in so soon, considering most waiting lists for tests Ive been on are like one-three months long. This should be good, and interesting. I did a little "test" today at work, I didn't bring my lunch and ate really high fat food. Like an egg salad sandwhich and chocolate bar, it was yummy! But I wanted to see what would happen afterwards, I mean, according to the doc and what I was reading last night. The pain that Ive been experiencing, if gallbladder pain, should be focused after eating, under my right ribcage and would be throbbing, etc... and YEP! wow it hurt... A LOT! so Im going to try and keep experimenting while waiting for my test, on different kinds of food, mainly meats, dairy products and wheat. And keep a journal and see what I can do... I mean, if it is gallstones and I can control it with diet, that might mean no surgery in the future. If that is even what may happen. I just want to see if I can control it with what I eat.... or, well, not eat.

but yipppeee.... ultra sound in three weeks! :)

AND.... CAM GOT OUT OF JURY DUTY! PRAISE GOD! its such an answer to prayer, so thank you to all who have put in a little "dear God, please..." for us, we appreciate it so much!

smiles and yawns

well.... I went to see my doctor today! I got a refill on my birth control which was much needed, and had a good talk with the doc. Im becoming very impressed with him, he misdiagnosed my endo for so many years so that made me so upset and unwilling to see him. Until all this stuff started to happen.

Anyways, so what went on? I have a form of rosacea its primarily on my left cheek, but it will most likly get worse and spread, depending on how soon I can find creams and oils to control it. My mother has it, and Ive apparently had it for about two/three years but didn't know what it was until it start to seriously flare up due to the hormones in this particular birth control. Thank goodness I caught it now, Im experimenting with creams... it should be interesting. There is no cure or magic cream to get rid of it... but Im okay with having it. My mom has had it all my life, so Ive seen her learn to control it and cover it with make-up so I will too.

what else? good news! my GI Tract test came back completely normal! YIPPEEE!!! so that was a praise to God. But the bad news now, is that Im going in for an ultra sound of my Gallbladder, he thinks that I have Gall stones, and that Im suffering from a combination of Gallbladder attacks and panic/anxiety attacks. So we're going to find out whether or not that is the cause, Ive been researching all day to see if it fits from the info Im finding online, and it does. Perfectly! So, it may mean surgery, but we'll wait to see. Ive found some diets that sound helpful so I will try that out and see what I can do to stop the attacks. They last for hours!

Its funny, my mother also had Gallbladder attacks and Gall stones and had surgery to remove her Gallbladder, so this doesn't scare me at all. I actually will have complete peace if this is the problem cause Ive seen my mother deal with it, I KNOW that I can too... it just means that I need to get smart and take care of myself and do what I need to do to get healthy, cause a sick Gallbladder is NOT fun.

so thats the update! its good and bad news, but I honeslty feel completely at peace with pursuing the possibility of these diagnosis'

thanks to everyone for their prayers during this very confusing and painful time in my life!
loves and smiles :)

just a quick one before Cam and I are off to our date night movie (toy story double feature!) this is a very BIG prayer request, please please please. Im actually not even nervous about it... there is a lot of peace, espeically since Ive previously been worrying about everything and its completely out of my control.

But Cam has been summoned for Jury Duty, he faxed in a letter stating how its going to dramatically hurt us financially which it ABSOLUTELY WILL! so please pray that he is either excused, or else the trial that he is assigned to, if chosen... will be quick.

thanks lots and lots
smiles, and pumpkin smells (i got this wonderful candle thats been burning all day long! yummy)

colie.