YIPPPEEEEEEEEE.... so I went to the doctors today and it was such a wonderful appointment. I went and got more blood work done and there are some other things that they are going to check, but all in all... health is on its way! I am SO EXCITED and I FINALLY know exactly what to do!

PRAISE GOD!

Blessings and a Happy New Year to all!

you know... I feel so much like the answer is there right in front of me. That I have the strength to do what I need to do in regards to eating well, and spending the time I need to spend in the word of God. Yet... at the same time there is still that part of me that holds me back. That whispers that its not going to happen. I still find it truly difficult to deal with all that goes on in me, my body feels so foreign to me. I guess thats kind of hard to understand, but its almost as if I try to do something good, that I have one answer and then all the sudden another pops up and something once again seems to be wrong.

Ive been getting bad, dizzy headaches and I kept wondering what was going on. Friends said its my eyes and to check it out. So I went to a doctor, after a month of these headaches... I couldn't deal with it anymore, it was like I needed to sleep all the time. So, more tests. As well, my doctor said that I can't get all the nutrition that my body needs if I choose to go forward in a vegetarian diet. He said that its almost impossible to get all the protein and substances that my body is obviously craving. So, he suggested that I reconsider and go back on eating lean chicken and fish. Well, fish is out of the question. The last time I ate salmon I was sick for four days. However, chicken and turkey may not be a bad idea. Go on it for a while, get my strength back in other areas, take the detox stuff and get back to normal. Then work on getting rid of the chicken/turkey allergy. I mean, Ive dealt with the stomach stuff before... I can surely do it again. I can't handle this "drunk" feeling any longer, its driving me crazy... I feel like I can't function.

Its nuts huh? One doctor tells you to do one thing, and another the opposite. One test reveals your allergic to meat, yet another could reveal that I need meat in order to function. That I could possibly have low blood sugar and low iron. BA! hahaha... so Im in limbo... again...

Please Father God, please guide me to the answer and the plan that I can follow, that is right for me to regain my health.

Blessings.

Each and every time I see these girls, my heart melts and I grow more in love with them. They are Cams sisters girls. The adorable red head is Jackie who belongs to Michele and the blonde cutie is Addie who belongs to Jen. Both of these girls are precious and wonderful. I had such an amazing time holding them, cuddling with them, chasing them around, playing with them and watching them make my heart melt a little more. I want children! I sure do... I miss them already and I just left them a couple hours ago.
This Christmas feels different. And Im not sure why. Maybe its because of all the time Ive spent at Cams parents place, hanging out with the family, becoming more apart of the family and just seeing what life will be like down the road.
Or maybe its because the hardwood in our home was just put in so that the last week was spend putting our place back together again. The tree did just go up a couple days ago.
Maybe its also because school ended just last week, and I wasn't home with my family as often. There hasn't been a gingerbread house decorated, no Christmas train at Stanley park, no waiting in line to see Santa, no making a snow fort in the snow... none of that... just a different kind of style this year. But none-the-less days leading up to this Christmas Eve, and tomorrow, Christmas day!
What an amazing time of year.

I am so thankful for what this time of year truly means. That Jesus Christ was born to the virgin Mary to save us all from ourselves. That he sacrificed himself at Easter, but was born on Christmas. PRAISE GOD! for his most precious gift.
AMEN!

Blessings to you all this Christmas!

while I hugged a friend good-bye the other day... actually two separate friends going two separate ways in their lives, compared to mine. I realized that life most certainly moves on. Friends move away, go in different directions, get married, have children, buy property, get new jobs. There is such a strange sense that seasons come and seasons go in the year... but I find also in life. I love how one of my close friends calls the times of her life "seasons" That they are almost like chapters of a book that describe every specific part of where she is, and where she goes. I adore that phrase and try to use it as my own.
In my own life I have experienced many different seasons, some bad, some good, some not-so-good, some not-so-bad. All having their own friends, their own style of myself, their own meaning and specific direction to bring me to the next chapter. And although some things that have happened in those seasons have been hard to admit where honest mistakes were made in an honest naive way most times, I don't trade anything in for something else. Because if I had, then the season I'm living at this moment would not be the way it is.
Even the seasons that are meshed with others, I bring everything... every experience, heartache, pain, joy, praise into the next chapter of my life. Working through everything to somehow, in some way be the person and continue to walk in the direction that God has laid out for me. Wherever that is, whoever I am made to be.
I love the people that have walked with me through every aspect of my life. And those that may say that I never loved or cared for them. Please recognize your mistake. That part of who I was, or the part of me that was begging to be something more, loved you with what I had at that moment in time. And if you are my precious friend today, still living with me, going through the stages of my life with me, and those of your own, please understand as well that we may not be together forever. And thats okay! For the love of friends, never truly fades away.
I've begun to understand this and have found peace, I've mourned over the idea that the people I love with so much of my heart may not be with me tomorrow, or the year next. Not because of death, but because of life. Because direction is fickle, things happen, lives move on... and thats okay.
I am thankful for who I am... I am thankful especially for the God I serve, but I am as well thankful for those who have been such great friends. Even those that have been acquaintances, or those that have hurt me in some way or other, or who I may have hurt as well.
Growth, life, moving on... it hurts... but its necessary. And I am thankful for that too!

Blessings on all!

Yesterday Columbia had their Christmas Banquet, It was a lot of fun. Cam and I sat with Carlene, Nate, Julie, Erin and Donna. Lots of laughs and seeking in the food line! Im coming home to Surrey December 14th! Im very very excited to have three weeks of relaxation, no stress, and just Christmas fun!!! yay!!!

I need to go Christmas shopping :S eeeeeekkkk.... its getting too close!

Blessings,
Nicole.