lately, life has been GOOOOOOOD! I have been off work for a month already! can you believe it? thats just so crazy! and I haven't looked back. I do not regret quitting, it was absolutely the best move for me! Since learning that I do not have gallbladder disease, Ive been eating MUCH more healthy, and Ive been making better choices. I haven't seen such a big difference on the scale yet, but that will come. Im not going to rush the process... Im just going to take my time so I succeed. Ive been going to massage therapy which has helped so much with my headaches, so thats just perfect that Ive found something thats affordable and perfect for fixing that all consuming problem of migraines.

something that really touched my heart this week was a post that I read on my friends blog. This particular friend has also suffered from Endometriosis and has helped me through my journey of appointments, discovery and surgery. There are times that I forget the process even happened, and then there are times that I very much remember the pain, the actual surgery and feel the scars on my stomach. I remember dr. williams saying that after two surgeries there shouldn't be a third due to scar tissue, and that there is a 30% chance of Endo returning after it has been removed. I also remember the claim that pregancy at most times "cures" Endo. But now I read off my friends blog that she believes her Endo has returned! and she has had two surgeries with dr. williams and had a daughter last year (babies born of Endo sufferers I believe are miracles due to the percentage of infertility associated with the disease). And if you haven't experienced the pain and anguish of Endo, then you really have no way of understanding how devestating this is for her. Please keep her in your prayers as she trys to get answers and help. I hope that above all else, God will cure her and bring her peace and strength to deal with this once again. It keeps me on the look out for myself that mine doesn't return.

Yesterday cam and I put our Christmas tree up! and our lights around our front window.... since we don't have a place to put up lights outside so ppl will see at the front of the house (last year we had a balcony) we decided that the window will be our focal point. Im not sure the tenants before us were this "creative" with the space. Our landlords seem pleasantly surprised by our constant decorating and use of their basement, and our patio.
I'll post a photo later if I remember.

T-minus 13 days until we leave on a jet plane for winnipeg!!!! wahoooo!!!! I have most of my Christmas shopping done and wrapped, cards almost completed and some of my baking done! Im ahead of the game. Lots to do before we go, but Im SO excited for a little mini winter vacation.
Im still looking and hoping that we can get a killer deal to go to Ontario in February to see Jen and Dan, Addie and the new baby boy they have coming in January!

O... update on Cams work. please please please pray for us! that Cam gets steady jobs until Winnipeg and then right back into it for January! Work has been soooo slow this summer, and now all the sudden its almost stopped. we're worried, but know, believe, and understand that God is our provider.

take care! :)

so.. today was the day! i went to see the doctor this morning... and what was the verdict? NO GALLBLADDER DISEASE! no stones! no surgery needed! nothing wrong! hahahaha, I had my mother come in the room with me (yes! sometimes I just need my mommy, even at 24). but mostly it was because I was expecting to be referred to a gallbladder specialist/surgeon. I was expecting to be given a lot of info at one time so I wanted another set of ears in the room with me to absorb all the bad news. But I instead sat there stunned at the lack of information, and the YOU ARE OKAY statement took me for a loop! It must of been aparent in my eyes... cause I was like... really!? Im okay? honestly!? seriously!? what do I do now!? hahaha.... Ive been getting used to there always being something wrong, when instead, now I need to stand strong and own the fact that nothing is wrong, and nothing has to be wrong. Im fine! I might have anxiety and heartburn which is causing discomfort, but thats about it!! so what now!? Loose weight! thats the advice from the doc, and excercise. So! by golly, thats what I will do, and I will be happy and glad to do it. I'll do anything if it means I don't need to be put under again!

so... today... I left the doctors office VERY happy! And yesterday I visited IGA... and left, VERY happy! Ive lately, just been soooooo happy, and sooooo excited for life, and so content in all things, learning a LOT from God and building my relationship with Him, with my husband and with myself. Things are GOOD!

Im excited for Christmas this year! Im extatic to visit Winnipeg to see my sister and brother in laws and my nieces! Im getting my hair cut again tomorrow with some foils too!, so I'll be sexy again! hahahah... Im going to now wrap some Christmas gifts, put up some fun snow flakes and write some Christmas cards! O.. and Ive been fully enjoying my Walmart adventures with my mom this past week! hahaha... Im becoming a very BIG fan of Walmart sales, its perfect for buying gifts to spoil my nieces with! (and soon to be nephew)

LOVES, happiness, smiles and hot cocoa!
Nicole.

this past couple of months have been really stressful again, ive been going through the process with my doctor of trying to figure out why it has been so painful to breathe deeply, and why after certain meals, my chest would just HURT! so... sitting in the doctors office last week, my test results from the ultra sound came in. And?! well, no results that day! GAH! seriously!? i was lectured again in regards to my eating habiats, and was sent home without any real answers. its just been SO confusing these past couple weeks, trying to research and understand whats going on in my body without knowing for sure. And since ive gone through IBS (still am) and the Endometriosis, all effecting what im supposed to eat and not eat, this has begun the all confusing game again of "what to eat and not eat" its just the MOST confusing thing in the whole world to be staring in the fridge and not understanding what to do.... it makes me cry most days! i even told the doc how helpless i feel in this department. he said to eat salads without dressing and no fast food.... FUN! hahhaha... what help! :)

this Friday is when i get to go back, sit down and hear for sure whether or not my test results reveal anything worth discussing.... but last week the doc said that if its gallstones then they won't go away with just diet... but that I HAVE to go on a specific diet regardless to control my symptoms, he said we will address stones when we get the results back but i know what that means... surgery!!!! im not even sure how i feel yet about it.... right now, just confused and helpless and since thats the case, im not doing very well in eating what im being told to eat. im not sure what my problem is... but i did tell cam that this is number three! im just twenty four years old and ive already been through three seperate health issues. this being the third, whatever it is. GAH! it makes me really sad.. yet it makes me really mad at myself too, since gall bladder disease is something that you could theoretically stop yourself. it develops from eating too fatty, not taking care of yourself and if family members have it, you're likly to develop it too.

the doctor once again made it clear that i have to loose weight and finally keep it off. im not sure how to do it this time though... i need to loose quickly again, like i did when i had endo, but im not convinced that SureSlim is the answer this time since i have to stay away from animal fats, cheese and full fat dairy, oils and consume a LOT more veggies and fruit.

im honestly just venting, this blog is more like journal entries... thanks for listening! ill let cha all know whats going on, once im done at the doctors office friday. im nervous.

cheers!