Who knew feeding my baby would be this hard?

It happened again after his nap, my crying baby smelled like poop so obviously I picked him up and took him to his change table. His crying continued like most diaper changes but this time I was once again greeted by a constipated poop and blood. More blood than the other few times he's had blood in his diaper.

DAMIT! Is all I could muster to say along with tears swelling in my eyes. But as soon as the poop was in the trash, his bum was clean and his diaper rash cream on his bum, I got nothing but smiles from him.

I'm on the brink of bursting out in tears over this over and over again. My baby boy is currently constipated AGAIN!!! As soon as I get him to the point of a few soft ones I'm blind sided by another blood diaper. I took him off solids for over a week and then introduced one feed of applesauce a day. He was great, things were looking good but I wanted to branch out again. So we tried one meal a day of a few roasted yam fries for three days straight. There was no poop but I guess I thought since he wasn't getting very much that it was ok since his good was mainly still breast milk. I guess I was wrong. So is it the yams? Should I stay away from potato like foods for now? Today I'm starting to try him on butternut squash.

I'm feeling overwhelmed again and completely uneducated. He's intent on feeding himself so purees are out of the question. He'll scream, grab the spoon and just fight you if you try. He LOVES to feed himself. I'm completely okay with that. I'm just walking out on unknown territory though. I feel blind.

And then there's the teeth, oh my goodness the teeth! Those two top ones are coming in so well and I'm scared as can be. Edison bites when he's teething and he could don some serious damage with what he's got coming in. Not only that the teeth are causing me some additional pain even when he's not biting. So my nipples hurt, SO much!!

So it's not only the constipation, it's the teeth. Nursing him is hurting worse than ever now and I want to give up more than ever now.

But that's not all! My right breast is constantly clogged. I have had problems for months and at the beginning of this week I was in tears hand compressing, doing hot compressions and trying desperately to clear the duct. It hurt like hell and is still so sore.

So there you have it. Just a long list of complaints but I just had to get it out. If anyone reading this has a word of encouragement or experience to share please do! I'm not ready to completely give up on nursing my son. Edison loves it too much and I love the bond we share as I do it. But the pain is getting to be a lot to handle and Edison's constipation problem has me feeling helpless.

But in the midst of it all....
Happy Boxing Day and Merry Christmas. Our holidays have been so wonderful and tonight we get to keep on celebrating.

I'm so excited for turkey!!
N

Edison update

So now that I'm back in the blogging mood let me update you on all things Edison.

1. He is actually sitting up on his own now with minimal falls. When he gets excited, distracted, looks around or leans back then he falls. So I guess "minimal falls" isn't exactly accurate.

2. He is currently cutting four teeth at once. Those would be his two top front teeth and two bottom teeth, one on each side of his front bottom teeth (those he got at three months old).

3. We are having a heck of a time with constipation now that he's started solids. I've found blood in his diaper three times. We've limited food to one feeding per day and started with applesauce last week. We decided to start all over again after several days of just breast milk. Today was his first taste of yams again. He still loves them, not sure what will be next after three straight days of yams. He looooves to eat but prefers to feed himself. I'm sure his first sentence will be "me do it".

4. We are full time cloth and love it. So far no significant rashes and we are managing to keep up with the laundry. We even invested in heavy wetter diapers for night so he's 100% clothed 100% of the time.

5. He still loves his toys and has taken to stuffing his fuzzy blankets in his mouth for comfort. So I've got a little real live Linus on my hands. No soother, no thumb, just his blanket.

6. He loves to babble, and is big on observing everyone and everything. I'm convinced he's an extrovert, he thrives when in crowds and loves being held by others. I'm certain he'll be my boy who will easily walk into school without looking back (like I did to my mom way back).

7. He finally doubled his weight and is 16lbs 10oz and fits six month and nine month clothes.

I see so much of myself in him but I know there's so much of Cam in him too! He's growing up so quickly, I can't wait to see what he'll do next.
N.


Spikey hair!!


My precious boys.

Mommy life

It's been a while, I guess I took a blogging break. I kept feeling like everything I was saying was negative. The whole "being a mommy is hard" talk over and over. And don't get me wrong, it's still hard but it's also very very good too.

Lately I've been looking my son in the eye and every part of me bursts. I am so in love with him that I can't imagine life without him. I'm so happy and excited for the new things he's doing but I'm also crying inside, sad that he's growing up so quickly. Why can't he just stay like this for just a moment so my heart can catch up? I know it's silly, it's hormonal, it's mommy talk but it's so real lately that my eyes tear up more often than I'd like.

I'm such a mom and I love it. My house is full of baby things, my hair is always up, I hardly ever have make up on, my clothes are loose or a little tight because my weight is in limbo, I rarely have time to eat, I smell like breast milk spit up and I'm sure the big dark bags under my eyes reveal my true exhaustion. But I wouldn't have it any other way.














Now I better attempt to transfer my teething, overtired, adorable, milk drunk son to his crib for what feels like the thousandth time tonight.
N.