so you would think that things would be easier now that I know exactly what is making me sick. But unfortunately thats not the case. I think that the whole eating completely differently than what was expected is almost harder. I feel lost. I have no idea what its like to not eat meat, I haven't touched it really since the results. I feel like I am eating carbs way too much, but I only have tortilla wraps (no yeast) as my source of "bread". At this moment I have excruciating pain on my left side which hasn't gone away, and I haven't eaten anything off the "no" list. I wonder if it is psychological, thinking for so long that dairy, wheat, sugar was making me sick and all the sudden finding out that its fine. Either that, or Im not eating enough, so when I eat a normal size meal all the sudden my "insides" get blocked and it causes great pain. I've been on the couch since 7pm and its close to midnight.

I ask for fellow believers to pray for me and for guidance to help me discover what it is I am supposed to do. There is so much preparation, so my time, effort, that needs to go into all of this. I feel so much like I don't have a grasp on anything and the cravings have become overwhelming again.
I mean sugar is alright, coffee is alright, dairy is alright, as long as I am giving myself time in between my helpings. I can't over due it. I just don't have the body that allows such a thing.

Its getting used to who I am, discovering the body I have been given. Its understanding whats going on.
My mom was encouraging yesterday. She said "you have Leaky Gut Syndrome Nicole, it took years for you to get to this point, you cannot expect it to take you a week to heal and recover"
shes right!
the villi (I think I spelled that right) are shrinking and retracting because of all the sensitivity in my system, this is NOT GOOD! but its reality for me.
Its something I can not ignore, its something I can not deny, its something that will live with me for a while longer. And God has blessed me by introducing me to healing in this way.

I need to allow God to be glorified through this... I can not allow this to be all about me. I will have no strength on my own accord to get through this.

Thanks for listening to my ranting... I greatly appreciate it!

Blessings!

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT!!!! I hardly believe it myself... actually I am in a state of complete shock as to what my test results are. No worries, it's nothing horrible and it is DEFINITELY something doable. so what Am I sooo crazed about??

I am allergic to MEAT!!!! hahahahaah.... come on now, laugh with me!
Thats right, No:
Beef, Chicken, Turkey, or Eggs.
ALSO! NO:
shell fish of any kind, and no fish in general.
I will NEVER again be able to eat tuna or sole fish, the sensitivity is the highest on the scale. As well, Salmon is one food that will probably take me years to regain.

BUT! you haven't heard the clincher yet...
I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO: wheat, gluten or cows milk! :P

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?!?!?!?!?
This means that I can have wheat, I can have icecream, I can have chocolate!
I CAN HAVE COFFEE!!!!!

BUT!!!!!!
I am allergic to Yeast :P
which still means no bread, no baking, nothing at all with yeast in it. No crackers, no cake, no donuts, none of that fun stuff still... As well, those things contain egg.
So the whole time I thought I was wheat/gluten/dairy sensitive, I was actually reacting to the egg and yeast in bread and baking products.
AMAZING right!? :)

As well, NO goats milk, NO cheese, NO cottage cheese.
and FINALLY! an explanation for my mother as to why I was so sick as a new born and why I had such horrible stomach pain... I am allergic to breast milk! (go figure huh!?)

So... ALL fruit is okay!!!! yay!!!! and I am only allergic to garlic, green beans, carrots and peas in the veg department.
Along with NO peanuts, NO sesame, NO oats, NO white rice (but brown rice and wild rice is okay)

My body is still severely sensitive, I am on a liver detox, and there are still some funky hormone tests and such things I need to do... I need to keep going back once a month, I have waaaaaaaaay more protein shakes, oil supplements, pills and such things that I'll need a serious system, journal and calendar log of everything!!!

I can not eat ANYTHING the same every day... I need to wait for four days until I can eat something I ate four days ago. I HAVE to do this. If I don't then I will become sensitive to different things all over again... a new way of life for me I guess!

Tomorrow I will wake up a vegetarian... and I will most likely have to stay that way for a LOOOONNNNGGGG time in order to confirm that I can regain it back. If I stay away, regain and than eat meat all the time again within a couple months, the sensitivity will come back again. Better to stay away and keep staying away. As well, every year I will have to take this blood test and re-adjust my diet to the results.

SO!... thats it!!!! different huh???
But I know that I can make it work... having icecream, and chocolate back makes my day!!!! I already bought a chocolate bar today and had a frapp!!!
yippppeeee for it all, its good news and bad news, but its news that I can handle and that I was preparing myself for... for a loonnng time!
FINALLY! I have clearance and confirmation.

Be as Blessed as I!
and PRAISE GOD! that it's not as bad as it could be... I am honestly completely HAPPY!

This is it... tomorrow I am going in for my results, I can not even believe that it has come this fast already. I feel nervous for it, yet at the same time I feel ready to finally know and finally start my six month journey of elimination dieting. As well, its been a month since I first went to Galina, and Ive "cheated" only three times! and not really big cheats either... THIS IS HUGE! I used to cheat all the time, I used to pig out, I used to be obsessed with it all. And now, I just cheated three times in ONE MONTH! whoa. I am proud of myself. I just need to keep it up (not the cheating, the LACK of cheating!). Today I had a bit of chocolate in anticipation for tomorrow, a small treat for the big day. Tomorrow marks the start of another big change, I know that I can do it... I've proven it already. I am so proud of what I have done, who I have become (in regards to self discipline) THANK YOU! for your support, I am seriously going to need it more and more these next six months.

I'll post my results tomorrow... just in case you're a little curious.

Be Blessed! :)

MY STYE IS GONE!!! .... I repeat... MY STYE IS GONE!!! poof, last night I was in bed with a puffy, painful eye, this morning woke up and kept blinking to make sure it was true... and it was! no more painful eye! yippppeeeee.....

so you may be wondering about this picture, my right eye in this photo is puffy because I have a stye. It was taken back in April of this year and now today the nice doctor at the walk in clinic informed me that... FUN FUN I have another one!!!! in the other eye. It hurts like CRAZY! but Ive been placing a hot cloth on it and its taken away some of the pain and I have antibiotics for it as well, which makes it hurt too... BUT at least I now know what it is.

so you know what made my week? I CAN HAVE SALTED KETTLE CHIPS!!! but only kettle chips and only the salted or salt & pepper flavor. I am SUPER excited.

As well..... CAM IS A SWEET HEART! he took me to the clinic, waited a hour for me to go in and out, and went shopping with me twice this week for groceries. He has had to deal with my dizziness and stupid painful eye this week too... wow!! he has GOT to love me. I mean, he sees my crazy health stuff, and I mean ALL OF IT. He has a front row center seat.... and is so willing to comfort me, take me wherever I need to go, and be a sweetheart in the midst of it all.
I LOVE YOU CAM!!!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO FOR ME!!!!!! **muah**

Be Blessed all you! :)

TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL I GET MY BLOOD TEST RESULTS!!!!!!

I attempted to make chicken noodle soup with rice noodles today for lunch...it was GROSS :P so I resorted to peanutbutter and banana on rice bread...mmmmmmmmm... at least the pineapple was good! :) but you know what I was most defiantly thankful for this thanksgiving??!!! I got rice crust, non dairy pumpkin pie yesterday at thanksgiving dinner. you have no idea how amazing it was!!!! my life rocked yesterday with my pie...mmmmm.... I can still taste it! :)

so... today I cheated and ate an entire banana loaf that my grandmother gave me. **tear** Im really sad that I did it... but I literally felt like I could not handle it anymore, the cravings were out of control and I had already felt sick because of some potatoes I ate today, as well as breakfast which did NOT agree, so I was sick all day (and by the way both of those times were food that I am supposed to be able to have and I still got sick)

:'( baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....... I think I just need to have a good cry, pull myself together again and remind myself of why I can't just eat like everyone else.

I knew that I had to post this slip, or else it would eat me up alive **sniff sniff**

Love me please, and please pray for me.

Be Blessed.

I pretty much love this photo!!! We went to the fire hall last night, for unit meeting. It was SO MUCH FUN! we got to climb up all over the fire trucks, and shoot water outta the hose!!! YAY!!!

well... today was my first really hard day. I don't know why especially, it just was. Maybe the reality of this situation is setting in, maybe I've had enough salad to last me for a loooooong time that thinking about eating more lettuce makes me feel like a rabbit. I have no idea!! hahahaha... but its hard. I said a short prayer today while making my boiled potatoes, that I submit this all to God. I mean, I'm doing it for a reason, it's not just "cause" its waaaay more than that. You would be happy to know that even in the midst of my hard day, I did not cheat. Not once! I do not have the luxury. If I cheat and fall back into my old ways I am afraid I will never get out of them. I will not be able to go back to the doctor (I got a firm talking to by my parents and the doctor herself about the consequences of cheating), I will not be successful, I have to find the strength within my self to stand up and say "I am worthy of this! I am strong! I am able" and I am.... I know that I am.

Blessings! :)